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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By ashleykathleen
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  #1  
March 7th, 2013, 11:12 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
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The sex talk!!!

Did your parents sit you down and have a discussion? Did they have you learn at school? Do you think it should be a continued age appropriate discussion? Do you plan on doing things the same of different than your parents?

Ready and go!
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  #2  
March 7th, 2013, 11:24 PM
Rochelle
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Of course you want us talking about sex now that you got us all excited about celebrity crushes!!

My parents left it to the 5th grade sex-ed class.

We've talked to our oldest but not in grave detail and have given DS a very vague idea only bc he asked.
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  #3  
March 7th, 2013, 11:32 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Texas
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I honestly don't remember where I learned all the details. My parents where always pretty open about a lot of stuff like that. From age 6 on, my mom or stepmom were always pregnant and they were always very honest about how babies are born, proper terms for anatomy, breastfeeding, etc. I believe this may be where I learned about the birds and bees but I can't say for sure (I have unintentionally blocked out a lot from my early years due to being molested at a young age).

I intend to be honest with my kids and I definitely want them to hear it from me first, not school. We have already opened up the lines of communication with both our kids regarding proper terms for body parts (J knows both terms, Kiefer will exclaim "penis!" at almost every diaper change). Jaleigh has been asking questions about how the baby will get out of my tummy and I have been honest with her. No, I'm not giving her gory details but she is the same age I was when my first sibling was born so I feel like she is old enough to know some things. It's completely natural and I refuse to sugarcoat something like that for her.
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  #4  
March 8th, 2013, 04:25 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Not many details from the parents. Learned the greatest amount living at college

We have told our children some things (they are 8 and 10). They know that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. They now know how a child is born. They know a little about puberty and changes to their body. They do not know about sex (I think).
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  #5  
March 8th, 2013, 05:42 AM
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I am extremely honest with Alex and his questions. My mother never said anything to me and I wound up pregnant at 16. I will also make any kind of birth control available no questions ask whenever they want it.

Ill probably have the talk again when he hits puberty and tell him how important sex should be, regardless of how meaningless it seems to be to everyone else in high school. I want him to value it. Not use it as a tool to get in with the cool crowd.
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  #6  
March 8th, 2013, 06:58 AM
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When I was 4-5 I remember asking my dad lots of questions about it and he told me the parents make the baby by the daddy putting his penis in the mommy's vagina. I was SOOOO grossed out he laughed and said it sounds weird but when you grow up you will understand it is actually fun and special and feels good, but you shouldn't have to worry about it for a long long time. So I feel like I always knew I will probably be open too but maybe a little less graphic than that with my kids!
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  #7  
March 8th, 2013, 07:05 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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I grew up in a Ukrainian Orthodox household haha Sex was NOT talked about. Ever.

I believe in really "sex positive" talk (age appropriate of course). One of my majors (that i've completed) was Sexual Diversity and almost all our classes and studies revolve around sex in some way or another. DD is only 4 and she really doesn't ask much of anything. She knows some people have two dads, or two moms, she knows that some people don't identify with either gender and that that's okay.That while babies technically are conceived by a man and woman that people don't always have a mommy and a daddy. (I can't wait until she brings this up at her Catholic school at some point )

Right now we don't talk about sex, we spend more time talking about gender. That boys don't have to be a certain way (in dress or otherwise) and likewise for girls. It's actually led to some pretty interesting discussions, as far as 4 year olds go. My goal is to educate as much as possible about various diversities because I think when the ACTUAL sex questions come up, it will be important for her to understand that sex for some people is not what it is to others and that there are plenty of variations.
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  #8  
March 8th, 2013, 07:38 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My mom gave me the sex talk when I was 13. (2 years too late as I was already being molested at that point)
I gave my baby bro the sex talk when he was 8 cuz he asked. And Im proud to say he abstained for all of highschool(on purpose...kid was a girl magnet) And now at 23 hes purposely not a man ***** and respects women. So I figure how I did that talk will work on my kids when they are old enough. But Im also not gonna wait til my kids hit puberty as thats too dang late nowadays. I also would prefer my kids wait til they are out of highschool before becoming sexually active as I dont feel teens at 16 are mentally and emotionally ready with all the extra crap that comes with being sexually active.
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  #9  
March 8th, 2013, 11:55 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hahaha, this question cracks me up! My parents left the details to my 6th grade science teacher to share. My talk about actually having sex was before my first date with my first boyfriend. My mom said to me, "Sometimes boys want to do things... and you can't always let them do the things they want..." My response: "Mom, are we talking about sex?" She blushed and got all flustered. I told her not to worry, it wasn't going to happen. We dated for three and a half years and I never did sleep with him. Guess mom lucked out on that one!

I plan to try to have ongoing discussion with my girls about it. In a perfect world, they would be married before having sex. I plan to tell them very candidly that I wish I had waited until then and why (even though the only person I have ever slept with is DH, I still wish we had waited until we were actually married). They will hear enough from kids in school about why they should be having sex and I want them to hear the things those kids won't tell them- the consequences beyond getting STDs or getting pregnant. I know some girls who really were scarred by some of the guys they chose to sleep with and those scars don't heal quickly. Above all though, my girls will know that I will love them no matter what.
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  #10  
March 8th, 2013, 01:25 PM
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I do not remember my mom or dad actually having the 'sex' talk with me. I do remember learning in 5th or 6th grade and that was weird. I mean they may have but I don't remember.
DD thinks that babies come out of the moms butt since going to the farm with daycare...bhahahah! I told her they do not come out of mamas butts.
I have told her that in order for a mama to have a baby you have to pray really hard and then gods puts a baby in a mams belly. I will leave it at that for a little while.
When she asks I will tell her in an age appropriate way. She does know that NO ONE is to touch her in her private parts unless mommy or daddy or grandma is giving her a bath or kiss her except mom/dad/grandparents and if someone does ever try to she is to scream aqt the top of her lungs and run as fast as she can!
I will have the sex/puberty talk to her before she hears it from someone else because I really wish my parents would have. I am trying to determine when the 'right' age is.
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  #11  
March 8th, 2013, 01:29 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I want to have open communication with my kids. And have the discussion open always. Age appropriate of course, David and Katelynn know that it takes a special piece of mommy and a special piece of daddy to make a baby. They know how babies are born, and Katelynn knows in age appropriate terms what a period is. I got my period when I was 9 so it's important to me she knows when it happens to her so she is not terrified. Luckily my mom told me all about periods about a week before I got my first one so I knew what was happening. She and my grandmother both for their periods before 10. So I'm glad she felt she could talk to me about it. I want my kids to come to me with questions or their dad. I don't want to not be the one who answers those questions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crawmommy View Post
I do not remember my mom or dad actually having the 'sex' talk with me. I do remember learning in 5th or 6th grade and that was weird. I mean they may have but I don't remember.
DD thinks that babies come out of the moms butt since going to the farm with daycare...bhahahah! I told her they do not come out of mamas butts.
I have told her that in order for a mama to have a baby you have to pray really hard and then gods puts a baby in a mams belly. I will leave it at that for a little while.
When she asks I will tell her in an age appropriate way. She does know that NO ONE is to touch her in her private parts unless mommy or daddy or grandma is giving her a bath or kiss her except mom/dad/grandparents and if someone does ever try to she is to scream aqt the top of her lungs and run as fast as she can!
I will have the sex/puberty talk to her before she hears it from someone else because I really wish my parents would have. I am trying to determine when the 'right' age is.

When did you get your first period? It will likely be pretty close to the same time so way before that David is full of questions, he has already asked why daddy's voice is different than his and why daddy has hair on his chest. He questions everything. Katelynn does as well now. Before I was pregnant she came in the bathroom and learned about what a period was because I happened to be on it.
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  #12  
March 8th, 2013, 06:22 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
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Sex was never brought up in my house. I learned about puberty and the science behind conceiving and having a baby from the 5th grade field trip to the science museum. I learned about STDs and birth control in health class in middle and high school. My mom never told me about menstruation either. I didn't get my period until I was 14, so I at least knew what was happening at that point. I think my parents got lucky that my group of friends were really good kids and I was never in a real relationship in high school to the point where I even considered sex. I do know that when I was in middle school, my older sister asked my mom for birth control and she told her no. My sister also had a "No entertaining boys in your room" rule while she was in high school. I never had that rule. I was a bit of a nerd.

Lily knows a little about menstruation at this point. That's what happens when kids don't ever let you go to the bathroom by yourself. She is super curious and has a great memory, so I figured I might as well be honest. I haven't quite figured out the age appropriate way to talk about conception or childbirth. I just briefly told her God gives you a baby. She always asks hard questions on the 10 minute drive to daycare first thing in the morning. I'm not awake enough to come up with a good answer. We aren't super modest at home so I know she has seen DH after his shower before he gets a chance to put clothes on. We just told her that boys and girls look different. A neighbor friend of hers has two mommies and my BIL didn't marry his baby mama, but we told her that families can look different than hers. Not everyone had a mommy and a daddy, but it still is a family
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