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I am really surprised at the amount of anti-family visiting. I never really gave it a second thought. My family is so close, I would be hurt if no one came to meet the newest addition and I live about 6 hours away from most of them, and they will still be here.
DH's family isn't like mine. I don't think I've ever heard them tell each other they love them. My mom lives down the street and its still the last thing I say when I get off the phone with her.
Directly after birth, I don't want visitors for at least the first hour. I want that first hour to be my SO and mine's time to bond with Layne alone. Then ideally I'd like to rest, and freshen up (at least my face) a bit before getting bombarded with relatives. I don't mind my closest friends stopping by while in the hospital as well, just as long as it's not right away.
The first few days at home I would prefer it to be just the three of us as well, but since my due date is in the height of our busy season at work, I'm not sure how long my SO will be able to take off...therefore, IF he has to go back to work I may concede to having some family visitors only. I wish I had a better relationship with my mom so I'd be able to tolerate her coming over to help more if I need it the first few days, but that's just a whole stressful situation I'd rather avoid.
As far as how I'm going to tell people my wishes....My friends are polite enough to text and set up a "date". My family on the other hand....lets just say even if I tell them 50 different ways, they are still going to be expecting to meet Layne right away, and then come back to our apartment to hang out as soon as we come home. At least while at the hospital, they will be able to help control them. haha
I didn't let anyone come in during actual delivery but MIL, FIL and both my parents were waiting at the hospital for the entire time I was in labour. Right after I had DD before they moved me to my room everyone came in to meet her and hold her. Honestly I thought it would aggravate me but I was happy to show her off. No one overstayed their welcome and I know this time my mom will be in the delivery room and MIL will be itching to come meet her new grandson as soon as he's born. They literally only stayed for 20 mins after I got moved to my room to give me time to rest.
Later that evening (I had DD at 9am) my grandmother came to visit, my aunt, DH's brother and wife etc. No one stayed much longer than 10-15 mins so I didn't mind. I was actually kind of lonely so having some people to talk to was nice.
Last time I had never breastfed and was uncomfortable but anyone walking into my room this time will just have to decide whether they're comfortable staying while I breastfeed because i'm not stopping for their benefit haha
Mom to my wildchild Kalyna (Dec 2008)
I most definitely want family visitors, i.e. mine and my boyfriend's. I would feel so hurt/betrayed if no one showed up or stopped by or offered some sort of help, especially with my daughter as she is really clingy to me and I already have no idea how I am gonna get through taking care of my baby boy in those first few weeks while giving her the attention she, quite frankly, demands (and if I don't give it, throws a tantrum). The only thing I could say is I probably wouldn't wanna be bothered with friends/acquaintances for the first month or so because I won't feel up for talking, hanging out, whatever so soon after baby.. I will look a mess and not be in the mood for anything but laying around and caring for the kids. I want my family there through labor, delivery, post partum, you name it. This is a special time. Not a time to push people away. I don't care if I won't get a ton of help. I just need company, support, love, and someone to step in and entertain my daughter and take her out to be frank.
I would just have them come after the baby is here. I went in with Madison because my water broke so I didn't have time for visitors before she was born. With Hailey I was sent in around 2 the day before she was born (8pm the next night) and I didn't have any visitors other than Mike. This time if I make it till the 28th I'll have no visitors until after he is born. The only person who is there with us till I go in the OR is my MIL (and ex step mother with my labor with Madison). She stays with the girls in the waiting room so when I get taken back to recovery she comes back with them. Its always worked out perfectly.
With DS, my mom and grandma came up and arrived like 30 minutes after he was born. I was sow happy to have them with me - I'm very close to them. They would come and go - my condo was 5 minutes from the hospital...so they would go to my home and make meals, come back visit...go out and about...come back visit...It was great. When I got home, mom stayed for a couple more days and then grandma stayed with me after mom left which i was so grateful for. After that, family took turns coming up for the weekend (I was in Vegas, family is in CA). So for the first month I had rotating visitors and I was so happy to have them. I didn't make any kind of announcement...everyone was welcome to come and visit and NO ONE expected me to host or be domestic for them. My family just isn't like that.
This time, we are alone on Maui, so we won't have visitors which I'm so sad about...for me, its important for my family to be present so they can bond with baby as well.
I won't be making visiting announcements here either...for the few friends we do have, they are welcome to come see baby.
*A BIG thank you to Jaidynsmum for my super fantastic siggy!!*
SO and I are not in our hometowns and only recently moved here, so I doubt there will be many visitors period. Because we're an hour from any other family or my old friends, I doubt anyone will be around to visit before the baby is delivered and probably not for at least a few hours if at all the first day. As for when we get home, it's the same story. There isn't really anyone to come visit except my mom, whom I'll be very happy to have help from. SO's family will be coming in from california a couple weeks after baby is born, so no big deal there. Luckily, SO's mom breastfed all three of her kids until they were at least a year old, so I'm hoping she and SO's dad will be understanding about the whole process.
My SIL seems to think she'll be able to make it to the hospital for the birth, but they live in San Antonio TX and we live in MN, so I have no idea how she's planning on doing that I guess I wouldn't mind too much if she were there, but I know my brother will be watching their daughters, and possibly my boys too, so I'd rather her not leave him to care for 4 kids by himself. My kiddos may also go with my aunt while I'm in the hospital and more than likely my brother and his daughters will be with her too. I'd really like it to be just me and my husband while I'm in labor, and for at least a few hours after delivery, then I'd be happy to have people come visit. I love my SIL and my aunt dearly but they are complete baby hogs and I know if they spend a lot of time at the hospital I will never have any time to bond with my boy. I'm sure my step family will be coming to visit quite a bit, too. Plus some cousins. I'd really rather not have too many visitors in the hospital, and for them to come around when I get home when I'll really be needing the help with my 2 boys plus a newborn. I'm not sure yet how many days DH's employers will be okay with him taking off of work.
Mommy to Isaac 8.1.07 Gabriel 7.2.09 and Samuel 6.15.13
Angel Babe 9-16-2012 5wks
Birthing time - Just dh. Possibly my mother, but her ability to get in and stay in the room is totally dependent on her behavior. My father is free to come and go as he pleases, he tends to keep me calm and grounded. Otherwise that's it.
After delivery - nobody for a few hours but dh, dd and me.
At home - Two visitors or couples a day, max... staying no more than an hour or so at a time. All of our friends are super awesome about calling/planning a head, so I'm not worried about turning anyone away. But, I'm very blunt and straight forward, I have no qualms with expressing my feeling and wants.