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I cringe every time I hear someone talk about their mother/mother-in-law/etc. coming to "help" after the baby is born, because 99% of the time it ends up that the help is sitting and holding the baby while the new momma busts her butt. My mom and baby sister would actually help, and will probably drop by once or twice, but my middle sister ... she's the sit and baby hog type.
The only 'help' I need is my DH keeping my older kiddos fed and entertained and so on. The outside help, if it is actual help, is nice, but nothing I rely on.
I live with the in law's so mom in law will be a HUGE help...she already said she would quit her job (we both work at same place in a call center and she has been there at least 11 yrs) just so she can stay home with the baby
I have family that love within a half hour so they will not be staying here (thank god- I don't think I could handle it). I have a rocky relationship with my mom, she is not the type of person I like being around. They will visit and watch dd while we are in the hospital but that is it. If she was here for an extended time I would end up being the one waiting on her, she is very high maintenance.
My mom and dad will make the 5.5 hour drive for the birth probably stay over night at my house and go home. Then my mom said whenever I want she will take a week off woek and come help me. My mom is awesome!!! She is the one who does only what she is told or what she sees needs done house work ect. And will make my life a breeze well itleast I hope. We have planned once dh goes back to work she will come. MIl lives a mile away and she is helpful but very oveerwhelming! So will pester everyday asking what we need and cook to no end! Then pester more and say well you should do this or that...dont forget about the dog or dd blah blah blah so that will be fun!! NOT!
My mom is planning on taking a couple of weeks off to stay here and "help".
We've already had an explosive conversation of what this "help" entails. I explained as gently as possible that I would need help with dd and with a bit of cleaning, but if she thinks she's going to help by coming here and bossing everyone around and just holding the baby all the time she can stay in Mississippi. I don't live in her house anymore, she doesn't have the right to stress me out!
Luckily my business has grown enough for me to retire my husband by June so he'll be home full-time. I expect that he'll just do his part to hold the fort down with the house & kids while I recover from surgery and establish a good breastfeeding routine with the new baby. I'm sure our parents & families will visit and drive us crazy (in good AND bad ways) but no way anyone is needed around here full-time if John and I are both home.