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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 6th, 2013, 06:43 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 2,132
Anyone else considering having a tubal or having DH get a little procedure after this child? I am thinking that if I have a c-section, they should just go ahead and tie at that time. However,if not then DH needs to go In reading it appears that the V could take 3 months to work. I guess we would have to be extremely care for BF, mini pill, and the V. I am 39 and DH will be 45 within 1 1/2 months of my DD. Three kids with two parents our age working full time. There needs to be an end

Just wondering if anyone else is contemplating any of the option.
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  #2  
April 6th, 2013, 07:01 AM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NY State
Posts: 1,734
Yes, I am. I haven't brought it up to my doctor yet, though. I'm afraid that at 31 and this being my first (DH has a daughter) my doc will try and talk me out of it, but we've said from the get-go "one and done." If I get a c-section I will definitely go the tubal route, otherwise DH will have to take one for the team
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  #3  
April 6th, 2013, 07:29 AM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Ardmore, PA
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We want three so we won't be doing anything after this time but next one I will definitely be getting my tubes tied if I have another C-section. Otherwise DH will get snipped.


I know no matter what I will feel super sad about that chapter "closing" but unless for some reason we have twins next go 'round we know that three is a good number for us. I need to use a fertility doc to get pregnant and we know there are chances of multiples so while originally we wanted 4 kids we are not willing for that 4 to possibly be a five in the case of a multiple birth so three (maybe 4? if my eggs are feeling feisty that month) and we are done done done.
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  #4  
April 6th, 2013, 08:05 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
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We are 99% sure Payson completes us but we are young 28 and 26 when Pay gets here so we have decided not to make any permanent decisions while I am pregnant. I'm getting the 10 year iud. If after that is done we say for sure we are done Kyle will get snipped. My mom had a hysterectomy because of cervical cancer at 27 and even though they left her ovaries she has awful mood swings, has to take estrogen ect. That's not something I want so we think this is a good plan for us.
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  #5  
April 6th, 2013, 08:31 AM
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Location: Florida
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If I end up needing a csection for any reason then I will consider them tying my tubes. A this point in life I only want 2 kids. But since we're still pretty young hubby is 31 and I'm 25 then I will just be getting the 10 year cooper IUD. We might want another baby later on life but definitely no time soon.
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  #6  
April 6th, 2013, 08:37 AM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
We are both getting "fixed". DF has his vasectomy scheduled next month and I will be getting my tubes tied after the baby is born, even if I deliver vaginally. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for wanting a major surgery even though DF is getting snipped. Also, lots of people think we we are too young (26 and 31) and that we will change our minds. But we have done lots of thinking and discussing on the matter and we are most definitely done with 3.

As far as me getting my tubes tied regardless of DF getting snipped, I have my reasons. First of all, we aren't married. That's not to say we won't spend the rest of our lives together, but nothing is set in stone and we are going through a very rough patch right now. If for some reason we were to split up, I know without a doubt in my mind that I don't want to have children with anyone else. I want to be done at 3, regardless of who it is with. I'm very fertile and I just want to cover all my bases. My friends call me negative, I call myself realistic.
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  #7  
April 6th, 2013, 10:25 AM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
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I tried talking to DH about this a few months ago and he said he didn't want to talk about it right then, too much on his plate to think about that. When I saw this post, I brought it up again. We got a bit further into the discussion. We agreed, financial reasons aside, that emotionally we're happy with two kids. I'm still young - only 28, but DH is 10 years older than me. He's already going to be 55 by the time this baby is 18. We're happy to have a girl and a boy and we're comfortable with the idea that this is it for us. Then when you bring finances into the equation, it just makes sense to only have 2. Technically even 2 is a stretch for us, if we want to be able for me to stay home with the kids and to not live in poverty. We'll make it work, but any more kids would definitely put a strain on things. So - all things considered, we're done, and we're happy with that decision.

However - as soon as I brought up the big snip-snip, he got evasive and changed the subject and shut down. He did say he'd given it thought, but again said he didn't want to talk about it right now. I explained that for him it's a fairly simple out-patient procedure, where as for me it's major surgery. I tried to explain that it's actually probably a good idea to get it done now. We're not having sex right now anyways, and I know that once the baby is born and we get the go-ahead, we'll be back at it like rabbits. So it'd be better to get it done now, since it takes a little while to be fully effective. But he doesn't want to talk about it. I know it's a big deal for a lot of guys, and I don't want to push it. I'll let him think about it and bring it up again in a week or so.
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  #8  
April 6th, 2013, 11:21 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,008
We have talked about it, but DH refuses to get snipped, and I'm worried about doing anything too permanent anyway. I am 99.999999% sure we are done, but I know my own indecisiveness, and we were SURE we were done after my youngest, yet here we are. It is something we need to talk about more, and soon.
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  #9  
April 6th, 2013, 11:50 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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I think it is a tough decision for lots of people. For us age is a factor. DH is nearly 45. I am 39. Three is plenty of kids for us to handle. In addition, if we were to have a another I would be over 40 which brings on additional potential complications.
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  #10  
April 6th, 2013, 12:38 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2012
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Snip Snip LOVERBOY!!

I looked at him, he looked at me and i said "wanna get your balls snipped?" and he said "hell yes"

I can not be having anymore babies. I am DONE. I am almost 29 and hubby is 37. These ones are enough to stay ontop of, plus Alex will be flying the coop in 6 years....

It is time to close this chapter in my life. Maybe Ill get to be an aunt next. My siblings seem to enjoy that.
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  #11  
April 6th, 2013, 01:43 PM
PurpleStar's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm pretty sure we are done and DH has no prob getting snipped - He actually offered ;-)
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  #12  
April 6th, 2013, 05:11 PM
D&K's_mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ky
Posts: 1,340
We are 99% sure we are done! Dh is supposed to be getting the v! But I'm going to go ahead and get the mirena until then! I told him ill have birthed 4 kids so its his turn to take one for the team!
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  #13  
April 6th, 2013, 06:44 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 187
We are for sure done and DH is getting snipped since its easier and I carried them I'm 30 but DH is 37 and if we had more we'd have to get a bigger house and bigger cars. And I'm completely happy with two boys. Everyone assumes we will have a third to try for a girl but I'm just not one of those moms that feels like I have to have a girl. Of course I would've been happy to have a daughter but I love my sons with all my heart and I'm blessed to have healthy babies without complications. I get told I will change my mind but not happening haha!!
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  #14  
April 6th, 2013, 08:29 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
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We are done. After a lot of discussion we decided two was enough for us. (DH also has kids from a previous marriage that are older and the oldest two boys started wayyyyyy young at making DH a grandpa so we are done. DH probably would have already been done but I had no kids of my own prior to us being married and it has just taken us a long time to have these two. But DH will be getting the snip and he don't care either. He actually told me he wants to watch it cuz he finds it a "medically interesting procedure" (yeah he's weird)
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  #15  
April 6th, 2013, 08:43 PM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We aren't sure we are done yet. It is possible that health complications may make this our last but since we aren't sure... I will going on the copper IUD. If we decide we aren't going to have anymore DH will get a vasectomy. If we have one more, that will definitely be it and I will get a tubal because I have c-sections...

But DH is 10 1/2 years older than me and is almost 35 so I think we will definitely be making a decision within the next few years!
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  #16  
April 6th, 2013, 09:18 PM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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we haven't specifically had the talk but yeah two is good for us
im not going to have a major surgery when DH can get snipped in an outpatient procedure so that will happen
just have to figure out when
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  #17  
April 7th, 2013, 06:14 AM
Madison.Hailey.Zack's Avatar Mom of 2 Girls and a Boy!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 10,973
I have getting my tubes tied during the c-section. We both agreed that 3 was enough for us and since this one is a boy it made the decision that much easier to be ok with. Since I'm having c-section #3 it just made more sense to have my tubes tied and insurance will cover it too.
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  #18  
April 7th, 2013, 06:14 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
We've talked about it. DH has even gone so far as to get some basic information on a vasectomy while he was in for a physical. He feels like 3 is enough, but I told him I couldn't make a permanent decision while pregnant or breastfeeding. I feel like there are just too many hormones and sleepless nights in there to really have a good feel for whether our family is complete or not. We are still pretty young- I'm 30 and DH is 29, so there would still be time for a fourth if we decided after a few years.
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  #19  
April 7th, 2013, 09:08 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,551
I 100% refuse to do it, and DH is certain that if he gets the big V, he'll be impotent for the rest of his life. So we're going to be using condoms. I figure I dealt with being on the pill for the 7-8 years we were dating/married before we decided to have kids, then I got pregnant, delivered vaginally, and nursed 3 times, and I had a really crappy 6 months with Mirena after DS was born...there's no way in hell I'm putting my body through an unnecessary surgery when it'd be soooo much easier for him to do it and it's high time for him to take charge of things. He swears he'll be in the 1% who has complications, so he's too scared to do it, even though he knows people who have had it done and are really happy with it. So condoms it is, because I refuse to be on anything hormonal while nursing. I don't care how safe "they" say it is. I don't trust that baby won't be getting any extra hormones through my milk.
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  #20  
April 7th, 2013, 10:55 AM
~*Kudzu*~'s Avatar ~praying for a miracle~
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Pole, AK
Posts: 1,177
My on permanent sterilization is don't! Plain and simple. We were bullied into a tubal after DD2 was born (I have medical complications with pregnancy and deliveries). I regretted it almost immediately. My cycles grew more painful and longer. It was easily the worst decision ever. 5 years later we saved up and reversed it. Even though we have not had a successful pregnancy since... even the fact that my cycles have settled back down and become easier makes it worth it to have done the reversal. Its something about the fact that you still ovulate every month, but the egg has nowhere to go so they build up at the ligation site and cause problems. IUDs are actually more effective, or rather have a lower fail rate... plus they cost $250 to remove (if insurance doesn't cover it) as opposed to $7,000 to reverse a tubal which insurance most definitely doesn't cover!
Thats just my take on things and something for ladies considering it to think about.
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