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Elective c-section??


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 9th, 2013, 10:53 AM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't even know where to start because I'm pretty speechless but here goes...

One of my very good friends is pregnant and due in July. She revealed to our whole group of friends this weekend that she is has decided to have an elective csection so that the baby "doesn't mess up her vagina". WHAT?!?!? What is scary is she is a nurse so she knows very well what all is involved in recovery from a c-section.

She is a first time mom so I tried not to freak out on her and told her how much easier a vaginal delivery is and how the vagina actually heals fairly quickly and things don't stay stretched out forever like you would think. DF even told her that having sex with me after two kids feels no different than before we had kids She is still not convinced...I'm just speechless that anyone would opt for that without it being medically necessary for mom or baby and I'm even more appalled that any doctor would be ok with that.
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  #2  
April 9th, 2013, 11:25 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Has the doctor said ok to it? Wow I would be speechless too.
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  #3  
April 9th, 2013, 11:51 AM
MrsLat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had 2 c-sections. They are no fun to recover from... why someone would CHOOSE that is beyond me... and her reasoning is a little flawed. Doesn't want to mess up her vagina? Ha, well I guess my vagina is "intact" but I looked like I had the Joker's mouth on my stomach afterword. My stomach will have a nice c-section scar on it FOREVER.
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  #4  
April 9th, 2013, 12:01 PM
Rochelle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.June2013 View Post
I have had 2 c-sections. They are no fun to recover from... why someone would CHOOSE that is beyond me... and her reasoning is a little flawed. Doesn't want to mess up her vagina? Ha, well I guess my vagina is "intact" but I looked like I had the Joker's mouth on my stomach afterword. My stomach will have a nice c-section scar on it FOREVER.
Couldn't agree more. Her reasons are shallow and I hope she changes her mind.
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  #5  
April 9th, 2013, 12:25 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have a friend who chose to have a csection when she had her daughter. I thought that was crazy. I didn't ask what her reasons were, I just remember that it was clear that she chose to do it that way rather than having to do it that way.
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  #6  
April 9th, 2013, 12:28 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow!! What the?? That is so shallow of her. I'm kind of speechless and I am pretty sure I couldn't say anything nice to her. Seriously childbirth doesn't mess up your hooha. I'd tell her if she gets a c section she will never wear a bikini again.....where if you deliver vaginally you can do kegals afterward if she's so concerned about it.
Sigh. Some people probably shouldn't have kids :/
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  #7  
April 9th, 2013, 12:29 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is happening a lot now. Doctors like doing c-sections because they get more money from it and unfortunately all of the horror stories of what happens during natural birth really scare a lot of women. I hope she comes around!
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  #8  
April 9th, 2013, 12:59 PM
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I didn't even know this was a legal option?
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  #9  
April 9th, 2013, 01:19 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnydaze View Post
I didn't even know this was a legal option?
Neither did I!

The sad thing is that she and her husband are highly intelligent people so I was just floored that he wasn't talking her out of it either. I mean, he is by no means encouraging it but he's not trying to stop her. They are both in the medical field so they SHOULD both be fully aware of what all a csection entails. If we hadn't been at a wedding of a very close friend when it came up, I would have had some ugly things to say....just didn't think it was an appropriate place to start a hormonal fight between to preggos.
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  #10  
April 9th, 2013, 02:01 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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That is just insane to me. I do not think that they can just schedule one without a medical reason but its not difficult for an OB to find one, this is what is wrong with our maternity system unfortuantely. Not saying anything about those who choose repeats or have medical needs for their c/s, I hope it's not coming across that way.
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  #11  
April 9th, 2013, 02:24 PM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Holy crap! Is she planning on giving birth to a porcupine?????

Seriously, I don't know what's worse: your friend making a decision based on pure cosmetics, or the doctor for agreeing to it.
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  #12  
April 9th, 2013, 03:13 PM
bribugg13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
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How sad for her and how sad that doctors allow it. SMH
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  #13  
April 9th, 2013, 03:46 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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I wish she'd reconsider her reasoning, but hopefully her c/s ends up being a good experience for her. What's her doctor's name so that I can make sure I never use that one?
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  #14  
April 9th, 2013, 04:55 PM
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I understand what you are all saying but I have to add this....My first was an elective c/s....It wasn't because I was scared my va jay jay wouldn't be intact or for cosmetic reasons at all. I was terrified of giving birth vagionally..mainly because most of the women in my family had VERY difficult times giving birth (hard unbearable labors that often ended in emergencys c-sections)so I requested to my doc at the time that based on that I would feel more comfortable having a c/s. And my doc completly agreed with me. Actually most doctors (in my area) feel that its a womens right to choose which way they feel comfortable giving birth. I can't stress to you enough how unfair it is for women to judge one another on "how" the baby gets here. Having a baby vagionally or by c/s isn't what makes you a women. Time and time again we women who have had c/s are constantly beaten down by woman whos "opinion" of the way a woman "should" give birth is to do it vagionally, and to be honest its So incredibly wrong. We c/s mamas don't judge you for giving birth naturally, or drug free, or at home so I am asking that you PLEASE don't judge us. Im sorry but this topic has always been a hot button issue for me. So many women keep that they are having a c/s a secret because they don't want to be judged and thats sad. I on the other hand am not afraid to tell people. I think the whole thing is flat out rediculous that ANY woman should have an opinion on which way another person wants to birth their child. There is no "easy"way to give birth and birthing vagionally has many risks as well that I think many women forget. I love all you ladies so I hope I didn't offend any of you in any way but to be completly honest I felt very offended by this post and felt I needed to say how I feel.

Last edited by Karenna; April 9th, 2013 at 04:58 PM.
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  #15  
April 9th, 2013, 05:15 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I think in your case it's something different than this. I do not care how other women choose to birth but if its an informed decision, yours was an informed decision. You had a family history for your reasonings, her reasonings are purely cosmetic. And I'm sure maybe on this board you don't see judging for home births or natural births but unfortunately I have been completely judged by my decision. Asked if I was winning a medal why be a hero am I stupid to not have a doctor near by you name it my family said it. Someone went as far as posting a babies death on my wall when I was planning Everett's home birth. Told me I was asking for a dead baby. So while it may not be seen here it is there. I'm sorry that this thread offended you but I can guarantee it wasn't the intent. And I'm sorry you feel judged, a few other repeat c/s moms have responded as well so I don't think the intent was to make any of our c/s moms feel inferior to vaginal birth moms.
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  #16  
April 9th, 2013, 05:17 PM
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I have had to vaginal deliveries and all went well.. This baby I have a previa and may have a c section... I am scared to death... There are so many women that say "oh C sec is the way to go" or "c sec is the safest delivery method for the baby" I just dont agree. I think it should be a womens choice and would not judge another woman for her decisions but if you have not had a vaginal delivery then please dont tell me is it easier and it is totally absurd to safe that a c sec is the safest delivery (unless of course there is a real reason for it) Actaully out of all my friends with babies only 2 of us have had vaginal deliveries!
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  #17  
April 9th, 2013, 05:44 PM
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Navywife....That is SO horrible that someone would post such an insensitive thing to your wall! It suprises me how insensitive people can be.


Countrygirl...People that I know that have had vagional deliverys WERE always the ones who told me vagional births were easier (even though I never believed it)LOL! I think your the first to say otherwise lol. Many woman say that the c/s is the easy way out and believe me..it definatly is not..there really IS no easy way.
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  #18  
April 9th, 2013, 05:57 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by navywifey2003 View Post
I think in your case it's something different than this. I do not care how other women choose to birth but if its an informed decision, yours was an informed decision. You had a family history for your reasonings, her reasonings are purely cosmetic. And I'm sure maybe on this board you don't see judging for home births or natural births but unfortunately I have been completely judged by my decision. Asked if I was winning a medal why be a hero am I stupid to not have a doctor near by you name it my family said it. Someone went as far as posting a babies death on my wall when I was planning Everett's home birth. Told me I was asking for a dead baby. So while it may not be seen here it is there. I'm sorry that this thread offended you but I can guarantee it wasn't the intent. And I'm sorry you feel judged, a few other repeat c/s moms have responded as well so I don't think the intent was to make any of our c/s moms feel inferior to vaginal birth moms.
This exactly. This was in no way supposed to be my way of talking down to c/s moms. I have several friends who have had c/s and I think no less of them. It does not matter at all to me how you or anyone else births their child...I do care, however, when a decision is made purely for cosmetic reasons. I think your case is very different as you have a family history of difficult births. Had my friend made her decision based on something like that rather than how her vagina is going to look afterwards, this post would never have been made as I wouldn't have an issue with it at all.

And, unfortunately many people do judge me for wanting to go drug-free this time so you are not alone in feeling like your birth decisions are being judged. Even though I have had two failed epidurals that were absolutely awful experiences, I get told by countless people how stupid I am for not wanting an epidural. It's honestly not like I'm super excited to labor with no pain meds but there is no way in heck I would attempt to have another epidural...but I will not judge another women for wanting one.
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  #19  
April 9th, 2013, 08:21 PM
SassySami's Avatar Crunchy mama
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maybe she is getting a mommy package? baby cut out, and tummy lifted?? in all reality, I think Doctors should be charge with malpractice that perform elective c-sections for no reason. Nothing about a baby is elective, that is for sure.
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  #20  
April 9th, 2013, 08:37 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would give anything to be able to experience a vaginal birth but it is most likely not an option for me. She does realize her va jay jay exists to give birth, right?
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