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Things to NOT say to a pregnant woman.


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 15th, 2013, 04:19 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,731
I know we've had a few threads like this, but now that we're all getting closer to the end, what are people saying that just drives you crazy?!

Here's mine: Because most people don't know the gender of this baby, I get all kinds of remarks about "Better hope it's a boy! Girls are SO difficult!!" Now, if you know that I know what the sex of my baby is, but you don't...do you really think it's appropriate to put one gender in front of the other? I understand that people enjoy sharing their experience, but goodness - stop trying to scare the bejeebus out of me!

Your turn.
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  #2  
April 15th, 2013, 04:54 AM
jkgreen's Avatar Awaiting Our First Bundle
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 472
Poking my head from July's DDC..
"You just look bigger and bigger every week..." .......one of these days, I'm going to say, "Aww.. Thanks, you too "
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  #3  
April 15th, 2013, 05:00 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 790
"you're going to have your hands full" since my babes will be 18 mos apart. thank you. i'm aware. lol

however, i've learned that if I say that first, the person usually responds with 'oh you'll be fine' so i've started to just say it instead of someone else
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  #4  
April 15th, 2013, 05:05 AM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
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The only comments I've gotten that bug me all come from my grandmother, who I'm sorry to say is just an awful person. She comes over for coffee on Saturday and Sunday mornings, an every single time she comments on how swollen my ankles are and that I'm retaining water - I'm not, I just have thick ankles, always have. She tells me my face has gotten fat. She asks me if I'm sure there's only one baby in there because I'm huge. And I'm so huge I'll never make it to June. She tells me when she was pregnant (she's 4'10 and wispy thin) that she carried 10-13 lb babies each time and never even had to wear maternity clothes. She just went from wearing a size 4 to a size 6. She tells me it's irresponsible of me to have gotten pregnant while obese - I'm not, I'm overweight. She insists that I'm supposed to be putting some kind of cream on my nipples to toughen them up for breastfeeding, even though I told her I already talked to my midwife about that and it's not something that's done anymore. She said I should do it anyways. She also tells me that by 1 month my baby should be sleeping through the night and on a feeding schedule, and I must have been doing it wrong with Fiona since she didn't sleep through the night until she was 5 months old. Apparently at 1 month old, according to her, they're old enough to learn to cry it out. She's got opinions on every aspect of my pregnancy and how I'm currently raising my daughter, and how I should be raising my son after he's born. I'm so incredibly sick of it.
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  #5  
April 15th, 2013, 05:30 AM
lalap's Avatar Super Teacher
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Posts: 522
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanne Nicole View Post
The only comments I've gotten that bug me all come from my grandmother, who I'm sorry to say is just an awful person. She comes over for coffee on Saturday and Sunday mornings, an every single time she comments on how swollen my ankles are and that I'm retaining water - I'm not, I just have thick ankles, always have. She tells me my face has gotten fat. She asks me if I'm sure there's only one baby in there because I'm huge. And I'm so huge I'll never make it to June. She tells me when she was pregnant (she's 4'10 and wispy thin) that she carried 10-13 lb babies each time and never even had to wear maternity clothes. She just went from wearing a size 4 to a size 6. She tells me it's irresponsible of me to have gotten pregnant while obese - I'm not, I'm overweight. She insists that I'm supposed to be putting some kind of cream on my nipples to toughen them up for breastfeeding, even though I told her I already talked to my midwife about that and it's not something that's done anymore. She said I should do it anyways. She also tells me that by 1 month my baby should be sleeping through the night and on a feeding schedule, and I must have been doing it wrong with Fiona since she didn't sleep through the night until she was 5 months old. Apparently at 1 month old, according to her, they're old enough to learn to cry it out. She's got opinions on every aspect of my pregnancy and how I'm currently raising my daughter, and how I should be raising my son after he's born. I'm so incredibly sick of it.
OMG! Surely there are circumstances where one could be excused for causing bodily harm to an old lady..
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  #6  
April 15th, 2013, 05:58 AM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,743
I have only gotten one this go around and it was a text from MIL: "Send me a picture. I want to see how big you are getting. I won't show anyone, I promise." So I replied with a "skinny pregnant pic" and said "sorry to dissappoint. Much smaller than at this point with B1"

Last time I had some real doozies: Your hips are getting wider, or overall comments about my weight in general.
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  #7  
April 15th, 2013, 06:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanne Nicole View Post
The only comments I've gotten that bug me all come from my grandmother, who I'm sorry to say is just an awful person. She comes over for coffee on Saturday and Sunday mornings, an every single time she comments on how swollen my ankles are and that I'm retaining water - I'm not, I just have thick ankles, always have. She tells me my face has gotten fat. She asks me if I'm sure there's only one baby in there because I'm huge. And I'm so huge I'll never make it to June. She tells me when she was pregnant (she's 4'10 and wispy thin) that she carried 10-13 lb babies each time and never even had to wear maternity clothes. She just went from wearing a size 4 to a size 6. She tells me it's irresponsible of me to have gotten pregnant while obese - I'm not, I'm overweight. She insists that I'm supposed to be putting some kind of cream on my nipples to toughen them up for breastfeeding, even though I told her I already talked to my midwife about that and it's not something that's done anymore. She said I should do it anyways. She also tells me that by 1 month my baby should be sleeping through the night and on a feeding schedule, and I must have been doing it wrong with Fiona since she didn't sleep through the night until she was 5 months old. Apparently at 1 month old, according to her, they're old enough to learn to cry it out. She's got opinions on every aspect of my pregnancy and how I'm currently raising my daughter, and how I should be raising my son after he's born. I'm so incredibly sick of it.
Those are the people that you just have to tune out and 'oh-ok' & 'uh-huh' them and laugh after at how crazy town they are
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  #8  
April 15th, 2013, 06:11 AM
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Location: Iowa
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My favs are "when are you due again?" From the darn people every time they see me is like once a week ahhhhh!!! and "twins??!! Oh my I'm glad it's you and not me I would kill myself! Good luck with that" like really??
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  #9  
April 15th, 2013, 06:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Near Washington DC
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I like it when strangers say

"You look about ready to pop!"

and

"Are you carrying twins?"

like seriously....F-you!
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  #10  
April 15th, 2013, 06:37 AM
zombiemommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Charleston SC
Posts: 218
I don't really pay attention to what people say... although, I went out shopping the other day and the cashier at the store made a comment about whether I should be out walking around by myself... I kinda just looked at her and I was probably making a really horrible face.

The only thing that bothers me is the stranger hands touching me. I don't know you. I've never spoke to you in my life, but apparently it's okay to walk up to me in the store and put your dirty stranger hand on my stomach and ask "when are you due?!" Not cool. I now look at them, straight up lie, and pretend I'm not pregnant, even when the kiddo is visibly moving around.
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  #11  
April 15th, 2013, 06:42 AM
lalap's Avatar Super Teacher
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 522
I will say that for the most part I've been really lucky. I've had strangers come up to me and say, "Oh, you look beautiful!" or "Aren't you just the cutest thing!"
I think that's just living in the South though. Like Mark Twain said, "In the South, manners are morals." Haha. Or maybe it was William Faulkner..
My mom is the only one who comments on how big my bump is, but she also tells me I need botox, so there ya go. Lol.
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  #12  
April 15th, 2013, 06:47 AM
wildchihuahua's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: San Antonio, Texas
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I'm tried of "oh, you're getting your girl now!" - I didn't get pregnant to have a girl, I got pregnant to have another child. Of course, I'm excited, but a third boy would have been just fine too.

I'm also getting tired of being told how I "barely look pregnant". I'm gaining healthy weight and have always just gained primarily in my tummy with all my pregnancies. I know some of you are getting the "you're huge" comment, so it seems no matter how much we gain or not, we can't win. lol
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  #13  
April 15th, 2013, 06:54 AM
phantomsgrl11's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ardmore, PA
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"You sure there is only one in there?"


I'm sure there is going to be my foot up your butt if you don't stop saying rude comments. hahah
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  #14  
April 15th, 2013, 06:59 AM
Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildchihuahua View Post
I'm tried of "oh, you're getting your girl now!" - I didn't get pregnant to have a girl, I got pregnant to have another child. Of course, I'm excited, but a third boy would have been just fine too.

I'm also getting tired of being told how I "barely look pregnant". I'm gaining healthy weight and have always just gained primarily in my tummy with all my pregnancies. I know some of you are getting the "you're huge" comment, so it seems no matter how much we gain or not, we can't win. lol
i got that all the time last pregnancy- about not being big enough! i was overweight so it took awhile to actually have a solid bump rather than just flab. this time around, well probably since i'm home all the time, no one has said anything, either way. but seriously people need to stop making comments about how big or how small a pregnant woman is! as long as our babies are healthy who cares!
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  #15  
April 15th, 2013, 07:10 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
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Location: Kansas
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wildchihuahua View Post
I'm tried of "oh, you're getting your girl now!" - I didn't get pregnant to have a girl, I got pregnant to have another child. Of course, I'm excited, but a third boy would have been just fine too.
l
We are 'team green' but we get the similar "I bet you're hoping for a girl" or "hopefully this one will be a girl" ... Um, we wanted another child, if it is a girl, great! If it is a boy, great! We happen to think our boys are pretty awesome and have no problem if we were to have a third one.
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  #16  
April 15th, 2013, 07:40 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
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Only my dad has made comments and his comments are always along the lines of "Your belly is huge!" "Suck in that belly!" "You have a huge gut"
There was a waitress that looked at me and said "Oh are you pregnant?" When I had my hand on my belly...was waddling like a darn pregnant woman...lol noooo I'm not pregnant...according to my dad I'm just fat and have a belly that needs to be sucked in. Jeez.
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  #17  
April 15th, 2013, 08:47 AM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
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Location: Ohio
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My FIL has asked me twice now, "How are you feeling? Fat?" I said NO!!! So then he said "chubby?" Ugh! My BIL told me he (FIL) used to say that to my SIL when she was pregnant too and it drove her crazy. The next time, I'm going to tell him to how rude he's being and to NEVER say that to a pregnant woman!

I also get tired when people find out I'm having another boy, and they ask if I'm gonna try for a 3rd baby so I get a girl. I tell them maybe we're gonna try for a 3rd BOY. Dummies. I would love a girl too, but I hate that people assume I'm disappointed at getting a 2nd boy!
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  #18  
April 15th, 2013, 08:58 AM
Rochelle
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I guess I'm the minority here. No one has offended me yet. People have been pretty nice. I don't go out very much though. Tonight we're driving to go to a Ron Paul speech event and I'll be around a whole arena of people. I'm wondering if I'll get comments there.

A friend of mine and I were talking this morning about strangers touching the belly and she said it would bother her but it's never bothered me. I kinda feel like a golden oracle or something, I know they don't mean any harm. But, I do get why it bothers some women. Again, I don't go out much so it's not a common thing for me to experience so maybe I'm more lenient for that reason.
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  #19  
April 15th, 2013, 08:59 AM
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Location: St. Paul MN
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I've only gotten it a couple times, but "Aww, too bad, another boy." really irks me. I happen to really like having all boys. Plus when I tell them I was secretly hoping for a boy because my dad passed away right before I got pregnant and now I get to name my son after him it usually wipes away any "girl" comments they have. I get "Wow you are huge!" from a lot of my family members, but I can't really blame them, I'm short and my belly has no where to go but out. Plus my babies have been on the larger side.
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  #20  
April 15th, 2013, 09:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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The only one that really makes me sigh is when people tell me that I have no idea what I'm getting into having mine so close together (oldest will be exactly 2 when this one comes). My MIL is the biggest offender of this, lol.

I've worked in daycare for 4+ years now and while there are aspects of parenting that is overwhelming (no calling up front for a bathroom/sanity break) once you develop a routine and fall into it it's not so hard carrying out the practicalities. Now, being in a room of 5 newborns (ration 5:1) all screaming to bed fed and/or changed and you're by yourself...ugh.
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