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really hurt...am I overreacting?


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Steph625

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  #1  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:32 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
So one of my very very best friends for years can't make it to my baby shower. Apparently she can't get off from work. Not that she even tried.

We have grown apart these last few years but I thought she would at least show up. I went to all 3 of her baby showers and threw her baby shower for her 3rd at my home.

She is just one of those friends that always expects you to be there for her but is never there for you. I am hurt and pissed. i guess it;s just time to move on.

it's not just this I text her often to try to hang out but I get ignored most of the time.
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  #2  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:35 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Im sorry hun! I would keep her as a friend but more on a occasional basis. Im sorry she hurt you!
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  #3  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:38 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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I guess there is just a point that you have to say goodbye to good friends when they stop being there for you.

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Originally Posted by navywifey2003 View Post
Im sorry hun! I would keep her as a friend but more on a occasional basis. Im sorry she hurt you!

Thanks dear...I try to still get in touch with her but she is always busy or just simply don't respond to the messages. I just have to try not to let it bother me I guess.
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  #4  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:46 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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You can say goodbye for the big stuff but I learned a big lesson in this. I have a friend who we have been friends with since JR high. We were best friends. I got married in 2006, 3 years after graduating HS. She was my maid of honor, she was thrilled when I was pregnant with David came to visit a million times while I was visiting from WA. When David was 9 months old and we fell pregnant with Katelynn she said some very hurtful things. We walked away from each other for a few months at that point. She got engaged and I could not make it to her wedding. That really hurt her but she tried to understand we just could not afford it. When we moved back to San Diego we did a lot of stuff together again, along with another friend. When we were pregnant with Everett she called me to tell me how happy she was for us and to apologize for how she reacted to Katelynn and she hoped that I could find it in my heart to forgive her, I did. Last year her and her husband got a divorce. I always knew they would it was only a matter of time. I was the first one she called. We had a long talk when I found out we were pregnant this time about her acting the way she did and she did because she was miserable in her own life and jealous at how happy I was. She wanted everything I had but it came out as anger and being mean. Anyways my point of telling you all this is maybe something deeper is going on? I dont know her but in my friends case I knew that it was something deeper because I knew who she was married to. Huge hugs hun, I dont think you need to walk away completely especially if you have been friends for a long time. Just give it time to see what comes to light.
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  #5  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:47 AM
Steph625's Avatar Super Mommy
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It doesn't sound like she has been a good friend of late anyways. It sucks that you've been there for her all these years and I can understand why you're hurt. Easier said than done but just let it roll off your shoulders. You have more important things to think of! I hate to actually say this but when baby comes and she all of a sudden wants to come visit and be the friend she isn't, blow her off like she is doing to you!
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  #6  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:48 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have had similar issues with other people in the past. I am a fiercely loyal friend and have been hurt many times by people that I have been there for who have not been there for me. I have just had to move on from those people. For this reason, I have 3 close friends that I count on and don't really rely on anyone else. I think you definitely have reason to be hurt and it may just be time to move on. It is nice to think that friends are forever, but the truth is that some are and some aren't. I'm really sorry you're feeling so hurt. I hope you have a wonderful shower surrounded by lots of people who love you.
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  #7  
April 22nd, 2013, 10:57 AM
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That really sucks!!!! I would be upset if my best friend did that to me, I hate it when you give your all to others and they don't retaliate!
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  #8  
April 22nd, 2013, 11:35 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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thanks for the support ladies. It does just hurt. I will still talk to her if she initiates something but I am not going to hold my breath. Just not going to get my hopes up to be hurt again by her.
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  #9  
April 22nd, 2013, 12:13 PM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
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Ugh! So sorry, mama! That's really crappy of her. I had a few close friends that gave lame excuses as to why they couldn't come to my baby shower last time. One was "I have a headache and it hurts my eyes to drive". Seriously? One girl was hungover. And one told me she had to wait for the electrician or something...apparently another day to schedule that didn't occur to her. So I sort of know how you feel. I agree with Steph though, I wouldn't be too welcoming of her when she wants to come see your new sweet baby!
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