Log In Sign Up

How do I help her?


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To June 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 4th, 2013, 05:37 PM
~*Kudzu*~'s Avatar ~praying for a miracle~
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Pole, AK
Posts: 1,177
Ok ladies... I need your help! M (the birth mother) sent me a msg this morning that she is done being pregnant and wishes that Amelia would come tomorrow! She says that she knows she would be just fine if she was born now and that she just wants her body back.

Thats the short version. Our conversation was actually much longer with me trying to explain both from a nursing standpoint and as a mother of 3 preemies exactly what would happen if she delivers my sweet baby at 33 weeks! I need help... what advice can I give her at this point that will help? Believe me, I am ready for her to be done being pregnant, too. I want my daughter... but a day on the inside is worth a week on the outside. I want to be able to hold my baby when she's born.. not look at her through the NICU window. I've done that with my previous children and I don't want to go through this again. I really fear that she is going to try to induce herself and hurt herself and/or the baby!
__________________
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!!









10/2001 09/2002 05/2003 01/2011 10/2012
Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 4th, 2013, 05:51 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,511
Yikes! Is there any way you can get her under your care stat? So you can monitor her? If not take her to get her toes done and maybe a prenatal massage hopefully that will help her be more comfortable do she will do what is right...
__________________
My BABIES





Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 4th, 2013, 05:56 PM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,191
Wow, how awful that you have to worry about that! Yes, pregnant woman complain towards the end myself included but I would NEVER really want my baby to be born early! I am scared that you honestly are fearful that she would do something. I think you should just stay in contact a lot and try to offer to help as much as you can. Sorry!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 4th, 2013, 06:04 PM
~*Kudzu*~'s Avatar ~praying for a miracle~
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Pole, AK
Posts: 1,177
The hard part is that she is around my children and knows that they were preemies. She sees DD2 that was born at 33 weeks and she's "fine". Yeah... she's fine NOW! She spent 17 days in the NICU being fed through a tube. DS was born at 23 weeks (yes, you read that correctly) and he will be celebrating his 11th birthday next week. I get it that I was blessed with these children, however I know the cold reality of things is that my babies were the exception.. not the rule!
Maybe I'm over reacting b/c I know what can happen if she gets crazy. Plus, when DS was born he was in the NICU with a baby who's mother was tired of being pregnant at 27 weeks and broke her own water with a crochet hook. I never got far enough along to be "miserable pregnant" so I don't know what to tell her or how to gauge if she's seriously considering anything or not. I just know that when she says things like "I want her out now... and I would do anything to have her tomorrow" or "she better be ready in the next 4 weeks" that I start to get nervous. She also referred to my baby as "seriously in my way and inconvenient". She has never said anything like that before. We have a great relationship and although she hasn't made any attempts to hide that this was an unplanned pregnancy and she has no desire to parent, she has maintained that she loves the baby. I'm just at a loss right now... and I'm scared and frustrated.
Thanks so much for letting me get this out!!!
__________________
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!!









10/2001 09/2002 05/2003 01/2011 10/2012
Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 4th, 2013, 06:23 PM
D&K's_mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ky
Posts: 1,340
Oh wow. I would definitely try to give her as much support as possible! And make her as comfortable as you can as well! Ive def been to that point where I'm sick of being pregnant to but would never wanna put my baby thru something that was done intentionally. So sorry you're having to go thru this I'm sure it has to be very scary hugs ..
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 4th, 2013, 06:37 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,064
Yikes! I was just wondering how you were doing earlier today and it sounds like stressed out! I would say try taking her to a prenatal massage to relax her and remind her that she's almost done and that soon enough she will be able to move on with her life but that babies can become very I'll if born before 38 weeks. And remind her that baby will come when the time is right and not before.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 5th, 2013, 08:49 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 1,574
Yikes! I know we've all been talking about how "done" we are being pregnant, but I don't think any of us want to actually MAKE the baby come before he/she is ready. She might just be venting. Of course you know her better than any of us do, but hopefully she was just having a bad day and would never actually do anything to go into labor early. I agree with the other ladies - keep in close touch with her and maybe take her out for a little pampering. Good luck!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 5th, 2013, 09:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Near Washington DC
Posts: 1,174
I was feeling really done and depressed. Going for that swim really gave me a breath of fresh air, and the pain in my hips hasn't been as bad since then.... and i feel much better now. It gave me another 2 weeks of strength. Then I figure I will just go swimming again LOL and do this until baby girl is fully cooked.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 5th, 2013, 11:38 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 438
you might want to speak with her doctor on her behalf.
__________________
Sharon





Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 5th, 2013, 04:57 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,743
I am sorry that you have to worry about this. I hope she doesn't try to induce. Just make her as comfortable as possible nd hopefully she will hang on a couple more weks
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 6th, 2013, 09:33 AM
~*Kudzu*~'s Avatar ~praying for a miracle~
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Pole, AK
Posts: 1,177
Thanks ladies!! After talking with her more I really think she was just having a horrible bad day. I tend to over react b/c of past experiences and b/c I know she never wanted to be pregnant to begin with and doesn't want the baby. I don't think she will do anything just yet. I'm not saying that as it gets closer she won't try every home "remedy" to jump start labor. But, at least at this point I think its better. I was hoping to see her last night, but my house has turned into a plague house! Every one of us except DD1 has had the stomach flu in turns. Literally as soon as one of us stops the next one starts.
I've done my best to explain all the things that could happen if Amelia is born now... beyond that all I can do is support her and try to keep her calm and happy. Thanks again for letting me voice my fears and all the advice!!
__________________
Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!!









10/2001 09/2002 05/2003 01/2011 10/2012
Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 6th, 2013, 09:39 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,167
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
I am glad she is doing better. Just continue to support her the best you can. Huge hugs to the both of you!
__________________


Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:20 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0