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My sister and my mom


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By crawmommy
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  #1  
May 15th, 2013, 11:02 AM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
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Are driving me CRAZY!!!!!!

My Mom is excited because this is her first grandchild (my dad already has 6), but she is making me nuts with it. And she told me the other day that she basically thinks I'm a wuss and that I'm not going to be able to handle contractions and that she wants me to call her "as soon as I start having pain" so she can drive up here and "hold my hand during contractions." Umm... No. I guarantee you if I'm in pain and my mom is in the room I'm going to want to punch her in the face. She can wait in the waiting room. I've already told her she isn't going to be in the room when I have him and that I'm not calling her until I am admitted to the hospital, but she still seems to think otherwise! She only has to drive 3 hours. I am sure she will make it before he is born if I do that.

My sister has 4 kids (ages 11-5) and she keeps telling me things I HAVE to buy or things I HAVE to do and a lot of which I appreciate, but at the same time she hasn't had a newborn in 5 years. And what worked for her and her kid might not work for me and mine. She laughs at me whenever I talk about having read a book about something or having researched something, like those things have no merit. And she keeps acting like I have no clue about babies. Umm, I have 6 younger siblings. All of which I lived with when they were babies and I helped raise. I also have worked as a nanny for 3 families that all had newborns when I worked there. I realize it will be different when it's my kid and I'm having to get up with it in the middle of the night and all that, but I know what to expect, it's not like I'm clueless. I know things about babies that people who haven't been around them as much as I have don't know. So while I may not be as prepared as someone who has already had a child, I am a lot more prepared than most first time moms. My husband... Not so much, but that's another story. Haha.

I just want to tell them to leave me alone!!! If I need their help or advice, I will ask, but I'm over them giving it to me about every little thing. Ahhh.
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Last edited by MissyBee; May 15th, 2013 at 11:04 AM.
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  #2  
May 15th, 2013, 11:50 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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That would drive me crazy! I would not be calling either of them even when admitted but that is me.
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  #3  
May 15th, 2013, 11:55 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My mom.was the same way with DD. She wanted to be there in the room and luckily she couldn't make the trip out til il after I had DD. Now she seemed to think I wanted her there when having lil man. Uh no. I have to call her to watch DD when I go into labor but I've also vowed that NO one except DH will be there. Him I can push around and tell what to do lol. But I am different. Some women want there families or moms in the room while giving birth. Not me. Its a private time and no one needs to see me looking THAT bad except DH and the drs and nurses and the last thing I want is someone trying to hog holding my baby after I did all the hard work of pushing him out. Lol Maybe I'm mean....eh oh well
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  #4  
May 15th, 2013, 12:55 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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That's frustrating! I hope they can back off a little. I will warn you that your sister's opinions might get worse once baby is here. My family is the worst about unsolicited parenting advice.
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  #5  
May 15th, 2013, 02:14 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't want anyone else in the room when I have him besides my husband. And I've already told my mom that. I honestly wish she would wait until he was born to come, but I doubt that will be the case. I want to have time with him when he's born!

I am sure my sister's advice will keep getting worse. I might just stop talking to her so much!
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  #6  
May 15th, 2013, 02:28 PM
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If I were you I would call her right before I was about to push...that way you will have time to bond before the craziness begins with visitors. Or you can like me and yelled at everyone to get the f out when I was in labor haha!
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  #7  
May 15th, 2013, 02:47 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Haha. She would be so upset if I waited to call her until then. I know she's just excited because it's her first grandchild, which is why I will call her when I am admitted and know what's going on and she can come wait in the waiting room. If she tries to be in there before I start pushing to comfort me, I will most likely kick her out because I know she will just get on my nerves! And she for sure will be kicked out before any pushing commences. And then I may make her wait to come back in until they move me from the delivery room to the room I'll be staying in.
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  #8  
May 15th, 2013, 05:41 PM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Labor and delivery nurses are very, very adept at protecting you. If you just tell them that you don't want anyone in the room, they will probably stand guard at the door. Even after I was moved to my room, they asked if there was anyone I wanted to keep out.

As far as your sister, "thank you for the advice. I will have to remember that when I need it".
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  #9  
May 15th, 2013, 05:59 PM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is annoying! I hate people who act high and mighty to first time moms. Everyone has to be a first time parent at some point, even them!

I do not want anyone in the room except my husband. That is how it was last time, I told my mom and everyone beforehand. However, she STILL came in when I was in heavy labor (I am still pissed about this) even though she KNEW I did not want her there. I yelled at her to get out in mid contraction. I think she thought I would be at a weak moment and therefore not say anything, but nope. She made some excuse that she wanted to know if we needed anything. We barely get along and have an awful relationship and I sure as heck did not want her in the room with me when I was trying to stay calm.

Also, I had barely gotten cleaned up when the nurses said that our families her busting down the hall and said they would not wait any longer. Yeah, they are crazy like that. There was blood all over the floor when they came in and everything. LOL
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  #10  
May 15th, 2013, 06:20 PM
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Take it with a grain of salt. You can just uh-huh them to death like I do my grandmother.

My mother and family didn't agree with the way I chose to discipline my children or the boundaries I set for them when they were little. To be honest, neither one of them did a stellar job raising their own kids and I knew I wanted to play a more active role in my kid's lives. They just saw me as "hovering".

But no one complains now when they rave about what well behaved and respectful little gentlemen they are today. What a joy they are to be around.

Yes, because they are the little heathens you raised us to be as kids. LOL

But, its part of life. Don't get too angry. Pick your battles. Some, like this one, just isn't worth it.
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