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  #1  
May 20th, 2013, 10:42 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
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Have you made it clear to relatives/friends about your wishes during labor and after birth? Do you anticipate any issues with them going with what you want?
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  #2  
May 20th, 2013, 10:58 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 3,064
I have told everyone that I don't want visitors in the hospital and to avoid them I will just not be telling hardly anyone til I'm home.
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  #3  
May 20th, 2013, 11:06 AM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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We're lucky, we have no family who live anywhere close by, and no one is planning on coming out here to visit until well after the baby is here. I've told my best friend down here she's my "second" during labor. If DH needs to step out for any reason, she's stepping in so I'm never alone. And her and her family are the only ones I'm willingly letting come visit after the baby is born. Other than that, no one will really know until after we get home. Even though I'm pretty sure my entire church expects a call when I go into labor...
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  #4  
May 20th, 2013, 11:43 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,008
I have tried, but I have a feeling I'm going to have trouble with my younger sister trying to just show up, and my MIL being a pest. Luckily visitors cannot even get into the labor/maternity ward without being approved. Plus, we will only be telling whoever will watch my older kids when I go in, and no one else will get a call until after baby is here and I'm ready for visitors.
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  #5  
May 20th, 2013, 11:54 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Alabama
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We will obviously be telling my mom, as DD will be with her but everyone else will get the "baby is here" call. I'm hoping for middle of the night birth so no one will want to jump out of bed to run to the hospital to see us. I've informed all friends that we are only having family visiting in the hospital, so hopefully there won't be any issues. DD will be the first to meet Aidan, then the grandmas (assuming SO's mom doesn't end up stuck at work cuz her boss is a pr**k), then we'll go from there.
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  #6  
May 20th, 2013, 12:06 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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I've made it clear that only my mom and SO will be in the room while I'm really in labor. I don't mind if my sister, best friend, ex-stepmom and siblings come to visit, but once the show really gets on the road everyone needs to leave except for my mom and SO. My mom is already really anxious about it and my ex-stepmom (we're still very close seeing as she and my dad had 3 children together after my parents divorced) has offered to be in the room with me or to be my birth photographer if I want her to be or if my mom just can't stand it. I'm seriously considering it if my mom decides not to be in the room. She's given birth vaginally to 4 children and two were completely natural and I think she'd really be a big help to me and my SO if it comes down to it.

My mom asked me the other day if we could wait to tell my older sister until the baby was here because she makes my mother so anxious. I'm considering that option seeing as my older sister hates when anyone else is getting attention and I feel like I might say something I'll pay for later. Haha.

Otherwise, SO's family lives in CA so they won't be visiting for a few weeks after we're home.

Everyone knows what they're supposed to do when she's on her way and when she gets here, and frankly I have no problem telling someone to get the F out if I have to.
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  #7  
May 20th, 2013, 01:35 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
My parents get the first call, but they are going to be watching the girls at our house. My MIL will be at the beach the entire week before my due date (about 4 hours away). We probably won't call her until after baby is born. Other family and close friends will just be getting a phone call after he is born. I don't mind my sister, SIL, or a few friends visiting us afterwards but no one is allowed in L&D.
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  #8  
May 20th, 2013, 02:53 PM
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It'll be just me and my DH in the delivery room. My SIL has this grand idea that she'll be able to be there for the birth, she lives in San Antonio. I've told her countless times to just stay there until after he's here. She won't listen. My big concern with her trying to be there is that she'll be dropping her daughters off with my aunt (they are 3 and 20 months) who will also be watching my boys. I really don't want my aunt to have to watch 4 young kids unnecessarily. So I've considered, when the time comes, to just call my step mom and see if she'll be available to watch them. As for visitors I'm sure my aunt will come, my step mom and step sisters, possibly my cousin. My brothers, if they'll both be here. Maybe another aunt or two but I doubt it. I'm not a huge fan of hospital visitors, I'd rather they wait until we are home.
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  #9  
May 20th, 2013, 05:27 PM
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I'm sure my parents will come up. We live about 30 to 35 min away from family and the hospital we are going to is close to my work which is an hour away from my family. Since my sister is due July 7th with her baby I think it depends on how she is doing if she comes up or not. She has GD and is having a rough time overall. I'm not sure anyone else will come. I don't think any of my friends will come at all.
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  #10  
May 20th, 2013, 07:54 PM
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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Ugh, I'm not even going to open that ugly can of worms. I will insist that when it comes time to deliver it will be just DH, my Mom, and me. For some reason last time my entire family elected to stay in the room and everything happened so fast and I was so out of it that I couldn't tell them to GTFO.

After delivery I will be imposing a time limit. I remember getting all cleaned up and trying to wolf down a meal and just desperately wanting to sleep....and everybody hung out for a few more hours. And they all hogged the baby!

At home I will also be letting people know (kindly) that unless they intend to help out with Alex or around the house that they need to keep their visits short. Like under 30 minutes. One of DH's friends came over the day after Alex was born and stayed for 7 HOURS. And what was worse was that he kept coming into the bedroom to either chat with me or DH (who would wander in about every 2 hours or so to tell me to get up and socialize :eyeroll. I feel like that if you're in your PJs and are resting in your bed then the bedroom is PRIVATE not public space. If I'm sitting on a couch then, please, feel free to talk to me.
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  #11  
May 21st, 2013, 07:52 AM
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Location: Chicago area
Posts: 231
I just had to take a friend aside the other day and explain things to her. I've known this girl for 3 months, she is a classmate of mine. She kept insisting she was going to be at the hospital with me, in my room, to see the birth and be one of the first people to hold my son! It actually scared me a little bit....so I quickly had to explain to her my plan.


With my husband being overseas, I feel guilty about having just about anybody in the room. He is so upset that people are going to see and hold his son before he will(which I absolutely understand), so I have my visitors list extremely limited until he comes home on June 11th. The only people allowed in my room for labor and delivery are my mother, his mother, my sister, and his sister. As for hospital visitors, it is strictly family. I don't plan on having any friends or family friends to our home until DH gets home, and I get settled into a routine with Axel. Also, I know babies' immune systems are very fragile so I am pretty skeptical about everyone. I have a few family members actually getting their pertussis vaccination before holding him!
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  #12  
May 21st, 2013, 08:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,511
No one in l&d except dh, dd at times in early labor depending on the situation & my mama if I request her & she's able to make it.
I haven't decided if I want a cheering squad in the waiting room like last time or call people when the babies are born.
I want dd to meet the babies first so we can have bonding time then my mom/gma& sis's & Inlaws can come take a peak if everything is ok.
We will have a few visitors in the hospital my 2 or 3 good friends & friends of dh family I'm assuming. I don't mind visitors in moderation. Our peeps are pretty considerate but if I don't like sons thing at anytime during labor or after I have no problem telling people to get the F out! Haha I told my own dad to get the f out last time when the poor guy was trying to bring in something I asked him to...oops!!

When I get home I will be very selective who gets to come over & when. Bc we are having twins and live in a small town I'm sure people we don't really hang out with will try to sneak a peak...ugh! Like seriously if we don't hang out on a regular basis don't call asking to come see us bc the answer will be NO!
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  #13  
May 21st, 2013, 08:43 AM
Rochelle
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Location: Floor-ree-dah
Posts: 3,388
I won't be in labor anyways but there's no one who will show up for the birth. I have all of 2 local friends and they wouldn't do something like that. My parents will have my kids at their house and DH will be with me.

After birth, my mom will show up after a little while so she and the kids can meet the new baby and take pictures holding him/her. Then she'll take them back with her for probably about 24 hrs before DH leaves me and takes them home with him. Then after that I'm sure my mom will come back up to the hospital to hog the baby which is fine. Not sure if my dad will show his face or not. He hasn't even said congrats or acknowledged the pg in any way (except to my mom). He always acts this way until the baby is a few months old and he warms up to the idea. He thinks I'm a baby machine and that it's irresponsible. However, he usually sends some flowers to my room. We have an odd relationship.

After we're home I've already prearranged with the out of town fam that it'll be a lot easier and better if they wait 2 months and come to our 2 kids bday party (they're turning 6 and 3 and their actual bday is 2 days apart) as well as a fam reunion of sorts and they can meet the baby then. They are all on board so far so that idea has turned out nicely.

Last edited by 4hearts; May 21st, 2013 at 08:46 AM.
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  #14  
May 21st, 2013, 09:30 AM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,612
With this being our 3rd, our families all know the drill by now: my mom will be watching the kids and they will come up to visit after we have moved over to a recovery room. Our friends will come visit later or maybe even the next day depending on when she is born. As far as anyone being in L&D, DF is the only one allowed. Absolutely no exceptions. His family tried to fight me on the last two times but they all know better now.
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