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Anyone else besides me have a man child as a husband/significant other? My dh is one that plays video games (on computer or phone), goes to comic con, goes to nerdy anime/action figure shops, etc. This is his first baby and while I think he's all excited about it, he also doesn't seem to be as frantic as I am. I tell him what needs to be done and he says hewill do it but then sits at his computer or on his phone on those stupid games. I've discussed the game playing with him multiple times and each time he as he'll cut back or stop but the he stops for a couple days then adds more games on his phone or plays more on the computer. When he doesn't do something and I need it done, I'll do it but then he complains that I shouldn't be lifting anything heavy or doing that stuff. My response is that someone has to do it and it's only getting done if I do it. He typically responds with excuses as to way something can't be done a the moment and then goes back to his gaming.
I just really don't want to feel alone right now and my hormones are crazy and I just want to cry when he won't get anything done and makes me sit back and do nothing while he sits and plays his games.
Wow - sounds like our husbands would get along great.
In my experience, having a baby tends to snap them out of it a bit and make them grow up. DH gave up playing World of Warcraft when DD was about a month old because he realized there weren't enough hours in the day for a newborn and that stupid game. He's still a gamer, but switched to the types of games that he can just hit pause on when I need his help, as opposed to "raiding with a guild" and not being able to stop.
Hang in there, most likely your husband will totally be there for you and the baby...it's just not real for him until it actually happens.
My husband doesnt really mess with the computer much and he doesn't play xbox all that much either. He used to play WoW, but he burned out when we had sebastian. As mentioned above, there wasn't enough time for a baby and a video game and sleep.
However, he does play dumb free games on his phone, but it doesn't bother me much. When I ask him to do something, he pauses it and does it. It never takes away from family responsibility.
He doesn't clean like I clean...and that bugs me, especially now that I can't clean like I usually clean....and I feel like a nag saying "can you scrub the corners of the floor where the mop doesn't get" when I should just be happy hes mopping.
Mine isn't so much a gamer, but there is always an excuse why things I ask him to do don't get done. Just a bit ago I carried 3 big, heavy boxes upstairs from the garage that I have been asking him to bring in for 2 months. There is so much left to do that he promised to have done before the baby is born. He says he doesn't have time, but somehow, he has had time to watch an entire season of Survivor, the Office, and Parks and Rec that he can only watch when home alone. So really, he has had plenty of time, he just wastes it. So ticked right now and in a lot of pain from carrying those stupid boxes upstairs...
DF is a COD player. I will say he doesn't let it get in the way of helping me with the kids though...especially now I'm so big (this is the biggest my belly has EVER gotten and it really concerns/freaks him out). Now as far as helping me around the house? Forget it. He always has a million excuses for why something I asked him to do didn't get done. So I basically get pissed and do stuff myself and make him feel bad for not doing it in the first place. I've got no shame.
I agree with Joann on the fact that for some reason it isn't real for a lot of men until baby is here. Jordan changed a lot after each kid was born. I was honestly terrified that I would be doing everything by myself but he snapped right into it, put the games aside for the most part, and really stepped up. Now, I do let him play Xbox in his "wind down time" but I figure we all need something to wind down from the day so if that's the worst I have to deal with, so be it.
Wind down time or when nothing needs to be done is fine but playing when things are in desperate need of getting done. Even my own son (going on 7) always asks to play when he's here because his dad (ex dh) was a big gamer (at almost 40 yrs old) and lets Aidan play all the time.
My DH used to play EverQuest back in the day before we were married. I almost left him over it and he stopped on his own. Now that he discovered he can play for free, he's been playing a little bit here and there, but nothing like it used to be. When we had our first baby, we agreed to a no TV/computer rule whenever she was awake, which severely limited any time available for him to play games. He still likes to play (and he should...we've spent enough money on gaming systems and games!), but he's really good at limiting himself. Usually if there's nothing on TV, he'll play his Xbox game while I sit on the couch next to him and read.
Lisa, mom to Alie and Christian
Luckily, SO isn't a gamer. I read this thread last night for the first time and looked at him and said "You know how much I appreciate that you're not heavily into gaming, right?" he just shrugged. But my last boyfriend was glued to the TV and his playstation. Always wanting to play something, used to get irritated that I didn't want to play or watch him play a game. I hated it. I've dated a lot of gamer guys and I have to say that I'm so happy that SO only plays games casually and they're old nintendo games. Haha. I actually play a lot of mario and various old school games with him sometimes.
I have respect for you ladies that are patient enough to deal with a heavy gamer. I never could.