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Anyone else weepy about adding number 2?


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By sunnydaze
  • 1 Post By Karen78

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  #1  
May 30th, 2013, 04:26 AM
zombiemommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Charleston SC
Posts: 218
The MIL is taking dd to the beach for the day. I woke up when the hubs was getting ready for work super sad and weepy because I don't want her to go. It just hit me that in three weeks, give or take, she won't be my only baby. I just want her to stay with me all the time so I can spend as much time with her as possible. I want to prepare her as much as possible for everything that's about to happen and change. I was old enough to remember my brothers being born, eleven months apart from each other, and it sucked going from an only child to having babies around... though it was and still is the best thing ever. My brothers mean the world to me. I'm scared she's going to feel pushed to the side and unimportant because I know that I felt that way for years and years.

Any advice from you momma's who already have two or three? If you're adding number two... what are you doing to prepare kiddo?
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  #2  
May 30th, 2013, 05:29 AM
rcjh12's Avatar Nicole
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Location: Kansas
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I went through this with my last pregnancy. It just came out of the blue one day =\ We tried to keep my oldest as involved as possible. Talked up being a big brother, let him pick out a gift for the baby, and even let him finger paint some onesies for the baby. We also had a little big brother goody bag made up that we gave him from the baby when he came to the hospital to meet his little brother. And once we were home we had him help as much as he could (he was only 3). He loved being so involved and became a very protective big brother.
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  #3  
May 30th, 2013, 05:54 AM
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It's been just Easton for almost 8 years. It's the only thing that makes me cry this pregnancy. I wonder if I should have had another because it makes me feel so guilty. I spend every day off with him. Yesterday we went to park and build a bear, the day before dinner and a movie. It's getting expensive! Haha
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  #4  
May 30th, 2013, 06:22 AM
Kalynas_Mom's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm spending WAY too much money on DD lately trying to appease my guilt about her not being an only child anymore. In fact I think maybe that's where her poor behaviour is coming from because i've been letting WAY too much slide as well. Since I could deliver at any point, everyday when I go to bed I just want to cry knowing that this might be her last night as an only child.

BUT she is getting super annoyed about him not being here yet. She accidentally kicked me in the stomach the other day and cried hysterically and hugged and kissed my belly saying "you're going to be fine baby, i'm sorry " Anyway i'm rambling, but I haven't done anything in particular to prepare her other than talk about it constantly and get every single book from the library about being a big sister and babies in the house. She's 4.5 so she has a pretty good understanding of what is going on but I know the reality won't set in until he's actually here
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  #5  
May 30th, 2013, 06:22 AM
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You know, I was really freaked out about this too, especially because I have my kids spaced over many years.

Alex is 12, Sebastian is 5, and baby will be here in 18 days or less.

When Sebastian was born, Alex thought it would be cool to have a brother, but when the baby wasn't instantly walking and talking and able to play xbox or football, he was no longer interesting.

I was so keen on building that unbreakable bond between siblings, making sure they always got along and worked things out....but you know what?

They are siblings and sometimes they fight. It isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, and it was unrealistic of me to think they would just instantly be best friends from now until the end of time.

They love each other, they share the same room, they play games together, they support each other. Alex attends Sebastian's soccer games and Sebastian attends Alex's football games and we dress in team colors and we cheer for each other. We respect each other. We say I'm sorry when we are wrong and we forgive each other, because family is blood and someday, Mommy isn't going to be around and all you are going to have is each other.

And yes, sometimes they fight. Almost every day. Because they are siblings, and thats what they will do.

I cultivate bonding experiences. Things they can do together and enjoy together. I also make sure we get one on one time with each of my boys. We will have date night with mom or dad.

It is a balancing act.

There is no instruction manual to adding another baby to the mix. You just kind of wing it. All the advice I can give, is make one on one time with all your kids. Strive to teach them to respect each other, even if they don't like each other. Don't "baby the baby". It will turn your youngest into a bully. Call your youngest out on when he is being a brat. He or she shouldn't get away with it simply because they are smaller.
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  #6  
May 30th, 2013, 06:48 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm going through this right now. Especially since Lillie is leaving in two hours to go to the beach with her dad and family and it's the last I'll see her before she becomes a big sister. I made sure to give her extra special snuggles before bed last night and now we're snuggling watching cartoons. I know she'll do great as a big sister and she'll always be my baby but I worry that my attention will be too divided and she'll resent me..
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  #7  
May 30th, 2013, 09:23 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I guess my concerns are no longer how DD will handle the new baby as I will make sure to always spend one on one time with each. I am going through the omg from one kid to two shock lately. I am very nervous about that. I am also trying to spend extra time with DD because I know soon she will not be my only baby. I am mostly worried about how she will handle mommy being gone in the hospital as I can honestly count on one hand the times she's been away from me. None have been for more than five hours. She has been very close to me lately wanting extra kisses and hugs and snuggles and I think she does know things will change. I have also read her a ton of big sister books and hope to get her a present from little brother to give when she comes to meet him the first time.
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  #8  
May 30th, 2013, 10:01 AM
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I cried for days when I realized that i was pregnant again. My son was only about 17 months old and we hadn't planned on trying for another baby until a few more months. I wanted him to be 2 1/2 when the new one arrived.

He's still such a little baby himself and with the pregnancy zapping the energy right out of me, being so sick in the beginning, and now it hurts to cuddle a bunch...man the guilt is just piling on.

He truly doesn't understand anything that is happening. We talk about the baby, read books about it, etc. He lifts my shirt and says "hello" to the baby all the time. He'll even give my belly a kiss! But he doesn't get it yet. We've set up a bunch of things for the baby and tell him what it is all for but he still seems pretty confused.

I feel especially bad because we were supposed to spend the majority of these last 2 weeks hanging out and only doing Alex things. But because of appointments and other things we need to do for the baby those got pushed aside. I was very upset when my ultrasound date/time got moved to Wednesday because it meant that I couldn't take Alex to the art museum for a toddler group play. He's been so lonely now that day care has stopped for him.
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  #9  
May 30th, 2013, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaSkunk View Post
I guess my concerns are no longer how DD will handle the new baby as I will make sure to always spend one on one time with each. I am going through the omg from one kid to two shock lately. I am very nervous about that. I am also trying to spend extra time with DD because I know soon she will not be my only baby. I am mostly worried about how she will handle mommy being gone in the hospital as I can honestly count on one hand the times she's been away from me. None have been for more than five hours. She has been very close to me lately wanting extra kisses and hugs and snuggles and I think she does know things will change.
This is exactly me. I'm very nervous about splitting my attention. I feel sad that I won't be able to spend as much time with him as I do now. The longest I've been away from him is part of a day. Never overnight. I hope he does ok when I'm in the hospital.
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  #10  
May 30th, 2013, 11:19 AM
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I also get nervous and fell bad that dd's world is about to be turned upside down. The good thing is I will not have to leave dd as at my hospital the bed is a full size and dh & dd are able to stay with me But dd is pretty independent and may wwnt to stay with her gma we shall see
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  #11  
May 30th, 2013, 02:31 PM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am a little nervous about how to balance the two, but I don't feel guilty about it. I think DD needs a sibling. She is very used to the world revolving around her and I think she needs a sibling to learn about how life really works and how to learn to consider other people and not just herself. It might be hard, but it will be good for her. I have an older sister and she and I are very close. And I know one day my parents won't be around and I am glad I have that relationship with her. I also have a little brother. I was 2 and 4 mos when he was born. I don't really remember like without him. If I felt neglected at all when he was born, I have no recollection of it now. And when we were small, he and I were inseparable. We are not as close as adults bc we have different sets of values and beliefs, but when something goes on with our family (like the other week when we almost lost my dad) we are all there for each other. I think having siblings is a really good things. There are definitely things I will do differently than my parents did, like make sure to spend quality one on one time with each of my girls.

Right now, I'm not sure that DD totally gets what is about to happen. She talks about Lena, shows people her room, points out her diapers and baby toys, and kisses my belly, but I don't think she gets that another tiny human is about to invade her world. She will though, and after the initial shock wears off, she will be fine. I'm sure your little one will be fine, too. Try not to worry.
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