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Tegan is here, but I missed my own baby's birth.


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
June 14th, 2013, 01:39 AM
kit.kat.81's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 417
Sorry for being MIA - we were in he hospital and it's been a hectic week.

Let me start by saying that me and baby are both fine. But the birth went NOTHING like I hoped it would. I went into the hospital Wednesday night to start the induction process with some cytotec. Turns out I was already 3.5 cm and 75% effaced! I was thrilled and thought I had a good chance at a successful induction. The cytotc was easy, and I had some crampy contractions all night. Thursday morning they broke my water and started the pitocin. BAD contractions started late morning - seriously they were excruciating, and there was no break in between. I toughed it out as long as I could but seriously couldn't talk, move, or tolerate touch. Finally a nurse asked me if I wanted an epi, which I had asked they NOT do in my birth plan. I didn't care at that point though, I said yes. It was heavenly relief. I managed to get some rest and continued to dilate. Finally I was at 10cm 100%, but my OB was in triage with some L&D patients and there were two c-sections going on so there wasn't another nurse available for my delivery. I had to wait for over an hour to push. Thank god for the epi! Finally I was allowed to push, and did so for two hours. I moved her down to +3 but she would go no further. My rare pelvic shape was preventing her from going further, AND she was sunny side up. So now I have three strikes against me for a vaginal birth - big baby, small/odd pelvic inlet, and posterior baby. I kept trying, but made no progress. During this time my epi totally stopped working, and I could feel every contraction fully. I kept telling the nurse that my epi was not working and she kept telling me that it was normal to feel more while pushing. Finally she realized I was serious, and they called he anesthesiologist in to fix it. In the meantime I was in excruciating pain and pushing despite being exhausted. By the time the epi was fixed my OB arrived and evaluated me again. She told me it was time to throw in the towel, that I had tried my best and that baby was NOT going to come out vaginally no matter what I did. She actually cried when she told me, knowing how much I wanted a vaginal birth. I wept uncontrollably, being tired and in pain. DF was amazing (as he'd been the whole time) and finally I calmed down. It wasn't what I wanted, but it was okay and I'd be seeing my baby soon. Once I was in the OR, though, they realized that the epi was still not working well and they couldn't manage to numb me. They tried a spinal, and that failed as well - I could still feel touch on my belly. So they had to put me under general anesthesia for the birth. I was totally unconscious and missed EVERYTHING. Her first cry, her entrance into the world, seeing DF hold her for the first time, cutting the cord, EVERYTHING. DF couldn't even be in the room. It took me FOREVER to wake up because I was so exhausted, and when I did I was hit with searing pain because the pain meds they'd just given me had not had a chance to work before the general wore off. So I got to feel the full pain of a fresh c-section for several minutes. I literally screamed for someone to help me. It was awful.

I barely remember seeing Tegan for the first time, I was so out of it. I'm pretty heartbroken over the whole experience.

The important thing, though, is that she is HERE, and healthy - 9 and 9 on her APGARs! She is gorgeous and amazing and perfect and we are SO in love! She's so easy tempered, too. She's been cluster feeding, which is hard, but DF has been incredible and together we're managing.

Some pics:





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  #2  
June 14th, 2013, 01:44 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Maryland, near DC
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I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. That really sucks. But, as you said, she is here and healthy! And she is beautiful! I have never seen a baby with that much pretty hair. She is absolutely lovely. I hope you recover from the c-sec quickly! Take care!
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  #3  
June 14th, 2013, 03:33 AM
mommyandwife08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am sorry it wasn't want you wanted. You are totally right though, it is important that she is here and healthy. She is beautiful! I absolutely love her hair!
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  #4  
June 14th, 2013, 05:29 AM
MummyTo2Plus5's Avatar Loving my baby boy
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Location: Huddersfield, UK
Posts: 37,269
look at her hair <3
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  #5  
June 14th, 2013, 05:37 AM
SassySami's Avatar Crunchy mama
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Location: Colorado
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so sorry you did not get the birth you wanted! She is beautiful with amazing hair.
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  #6  
June 14th, 2013, 06:16 AM
mommy220's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am so sorry it worked out like that! She is beautiful though!!
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  #7  
June 14th, 2013, 06:30 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sorry you had such a traumatic birth with her But she is absolutely beautiful. Love her hair!
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  #8  
June 14th, 2013, 07:14 AM
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Hope you recover really quickly. Wow - what a cute head of hair.
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  #9  
June 14th, 2013, 07:31 AM
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I am so sorry you had to go through all that hurt and pain. But I am so glad you both came out of it okay, and she is so adorable!!
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  #10  
June 14th, 2013, 07:46 AM
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i'm sorry you did not get the birth you wanted. that has to be difficult. Thank the Lord you have a healthy and beautiful little baby!!!
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  #11  
June 14th, 2013, 08:19 AM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The important thing is that baby is here, happy and healthy. Congratulations. She is beautiful!
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  #12  
June 14th, 2013, 12:34 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Location: North Carolina
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I am so sorry the experience was so rough. She is a beautiful baby!!
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  #13  
June 14th, 2013, 12:48 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Congrats Hun! I am sorry her birth was not what you wanted bt I am really proud of you for trying to have the birth you wanted and when it didn't go the way you wanted you got her here safely. She is beautiful!
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  #14  
June 14th, 2013, 12:57 PM
Hopeful2BMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Congrats on that beauty!
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  #15  
June 14th, 2013, 06:54 PM
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she is utterly perfect, despite it all
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