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considering quitting breastfeeding


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 2 Post By sunnydaze
  • 1 Post By jhmomofmany

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  #1  
June 14th, 2013, 03:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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This is just probably because I'm feeling really discouraged right now but I am giving serious thought to allowing myself to dry up. Pumping every two hours or more (to stimulate supply) trying to feed a bottle to an infant who clearly doesn't want to eat and not being able to do or go anywhere with my toddler is really hitting me hard. Dropping pumping will allow me to leave the house and go places for longer stretches of time. No longer seeing a whole pumped bottle go to waste because the baby refuses to wake up will help me not feel resentful. I don't feel like I am bonding with my baby at all. I'm mostly frustrated and upset. Her gained his birth weight but is not gaining as he should. We estimate that it could be 3-5 more weeks of this. It's too long. And then I will have to break him from the bottle. I just don't feel that closeness with him like I did with Alex and that scares and worries me.

Added to all of this is that Alex is miserable. He hits and spits at me all the time and I try my best to give him lots of attention but I'm so busy all the time trying to wake the baby, feed the baby, pump for the baby, etc it really doesn't leave much time for him.

I really thought that I'd have no problem feeding this kid. But here he is, my preemie sized overdue baby who won't wake up.
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  #2  
June 14th, 2013, 03:27 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aww hugs! My only advice is if you have to switch to formula feeding do not beat yourself up about it. Since learning about GMOs though I would say to may sure to go with a GMO free formula though.
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  #3  
June 14th, 2013, 04:04 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Huge hugs Hun. I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. What is going on with his weight? I know switching to ff would be best to not pump, but would you still be running into the same issues? He is not waking to eat. Do they know why? Hang in there Hun. And all you can do is your best and that is always good enough!
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  #4  
June 14th, 2013, 04:40 PM
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They said that it is because his weight was so low that he doesn't have much energy. Just eating exhausts him and burns too many calories. That's why we have to use a regular flow bottle and fortify his feeds. Dropping pumping/breastfeeding is more of a time thing 3-5 weeks of this is most of the summer. I can't take Alex to the zoo or water parks. He can only play at nearby parks for a max of 30 minutes. Everyone with kids insist that we come to them so he has no visiting playmates. He's lonely. And between keeping up the house and caring for Alex I get little to no time to just hold Rowan and stare dreamily at him. Hence the lack of closeness. While feeding him I have to keep blowing in his face or flicking his heels or dabbing him with a cold cloth. If I cuddle him and/or hold him close he falls asleep.
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  #5  
June 14th, 2013, 04:47 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I'm sorry Hun. People are ridiculous that they can't come to you. That would irritate me to no end. Can you pump strictly for 2 days then take him somewhere a day with that milk? I don't know I've never pumped like this before. Huge hugs Hun!
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  #6  
June 14th, 2013, 05:12 PM
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To maintain supply I have to keep to a pumping schedule. If I go a whole day with no pumping I'll get engorged and my supply will drop. Nature of the beast
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  #7  
June 14th, 2013, 06:03 PM
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You can still bond with your baby if you chose not to breastfeed. It SHOULD be an enjoyable experience for you and baby. If it isn't working, then its not and you shouldnt feel bad or guilty about it. Do what you need to do for your mental wellbeing.
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  #8  
June 15th, 2013, 02:11 AM
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Thank you that's what I was thinking :-) . I told DH that if Rowan doesn't weight 6-7 ounces more by his next checkup then I'm going to quit. I couldn't have the conversation without bawling. I've missed nursing so much and was really looking forward to the experience again.
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  #9  
June 15th, 2013, 04:19 AM
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My thoughts - do what works for your family as a whole. I breastfed my first two and am doing so with Ellianna because it works for US. My kiddos enjoy breastfeeding and I really have no issues doing it. However, with my second he would not take a bottle of breastmilk unless it was mixed with 1/2 formula. I had to return to work and he had to take a bottle. This is what worked for us. He nursed when I was home and he took a bottle of 1/2 bm and 1/2 formula while I was gone. He is fine and healthy today. It was better for us than him to constantly cry rejecting the bottle. So my advice, do what works for your entire family.
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  #10  
June 15th, 2013, 10:00 AM
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I am in a similar situation. John was preterm and has never nursed, so I've been pumping. Feeding the baby, getting him settled, pumping, cleaning up, it takes an hour and my DH is working OTR so I have no help at night. The older kids help during the day, but by the time it is done I have only an hour or so until time to do it again. It really sucks. This is just me, but I will not consider formula feeding at this point. So, unless he miraculously takes to the breast, I'm looking at doing this long term. It's depressing.

I loved nursing my other babies, it breaks my heart that this one won't even try. I cry about it every day. We live too far away from the nearest lactation consultant for me to get any help, so I'm stuck trying everything I find online. Lots of good info out there, but no replacement for help IRL.

I am very grateful that John will take the bottles and is gaining well at least. I am really sorry for your situation, give yourself permission to do what you need to do, even if it isn't what you would "rather" do.
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  #11  
June 15th, 2013, 12:34 PM
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Is his a weight related issue as well (in addition to the latch)? I'm sorry that there is no LC near you. Is there a midwife around? Sometimes they have training.
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  #12  
June 15th, 2013, 02:03 PM
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I stopped breastfeeding DS after two weeks because it was just too hard on me
I was crying in the middle of the night
Do not feel bad for stopping, you are still doing whats right for you and the baby
Right now I"m not sure nursing at all and soley pumping and supplementing with formula. I'm not sure how long I can keep up with it but any bit can help the baby.
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  #13  
June 15th, 2013, 06:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MerinSun View Post
Is his a weight related issue as well (in addition to the latch)? I'm sorry that there is no LC near you. Is there a midwife around? Sometimes they have training.
Thankfully, no. He wasn't actually low birth weight, and he has been gaining well. My midwife has been supportive but not actually helpful, if that makes sense.

When is Rowan's next check up? I'll be praying for both of you, that there is improvement.
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