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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
July 2nd, 2013, 06:07 PM
bribugg13's Avatar SAHM to Pirate & Princess
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Not so sure I can do this! DH only got a week off work this time, so he goes back tomorrow. My first full day alone with both newborn and toddler. Yikes!! My real issue though is Connor acting out he's not dealing well with the changes. He loves on Peyton and talks sweet to her, always wants to hold her and gives her hugs and kisses, etc. but he sure has lost his ability to listen to anything we say. He always has attitude and talks back a LOT! And just being an all around bratty teenager at 3 years old!! Help?!

We always make sure to include him in everything. Daddy spent a lot of one on one time with him over the weekend, he got a gift from Peyton when we got home from hospital - a favorite new toy. Nothing seems to help or work lately does it just take time? Will it get better with him? I hope once everyone is back to work and its just the 3 of us that will help normalize things. We will see
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  #2  
July 2nd, 2013, 06:19 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 777
i wish i had some advice but im in the same boat my husband goes back to work on monday and he works evenings and overnights so i'm terrified to do bedtime/naptimes by myself next week. i've tried by myself with him here and i always end up needing his help. meal times are a bit chaotic but possible. i try to get as much done as i can. i want to use my dh as much as possible this week but at the same time i dont want to depend on him i have a newborn and and 18 month old so i feel your pain!
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  #3  
July 2nd, 2013, 07:27 PM
hilachu's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Tonawanda, NY
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I'll admit its tough
DH went back to work five days after Emerson was born
My issue is when Liam wants to do something but I am busy with the baby
He doesn't understand and will sometimes throw a tantrum. I try to balance it out and also spend one on one time with him while the baby sleeps.
I will tell you if you can get them to nap at the same time (if your toddler is still napping) it is awesome. I usually do an hour of me time and than nap. It recharges me
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  #4  
July 2nd, 2013, 09:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
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lol, I'm so spoiled. DH works from home so if I need another pair of hands when in a bind i can call out to him. I've been alone with the kids for a little bit and I've taken them out to a park once by myself. It's terrifying.

I can say that your 3 year old WILL come around. Alex (he's 2) did the same thing to us. FIrst he was PISSED that we went away for a few days and left him with his grandparents. Then he was pissed that we changed up his room. And that he wasn't in daycare anymore. And now there's this BABY?! And Mommy has to pump instead of playing with him?!?!? He *LOVES* Rowan but totally hates us.

A lot of things got thrown around, a few things broken, DH and I got hit a lot and spat on a lot. The screaming about made me jump in the car and never look back. We're still struggling with this behavior but it is getting better. Today we had a beautiful day. No struggles or tantrums. But tomorrow may be a different thing entirely.

I encourage you to continue to try to set up time once in the morning and once in the evening that is SOLELY about your oldest child. So, once the baby is fed and content do NOTHING but play with your oldest. Forget all the chores. Forget rest. Crack out the playdough. In the evening when your DH comes home you can either hand off the baby or hand off your son and one of you takes him to the park. We found evening walks after dinner to be very helpful.

Also, don't feel guilty and not keep firm consequences. I fell into the horrible pit of "He's just unhappy!" when Alex started throwing his toys down the stairs again. Now he gets spanked or has all his toys removed, just like before.

One thing I try to do, too is that when people come over and Ooo and Aaah over the baby I always seek him out to hold him and to give him some attention. Several times already people have basically stepped over him with barely a greeting en route to seeing the new baby. The rejection hurt his feelings. He's so used to people greeting him and him getting a chance to talk to them right away. He's not the center of attention anymore and he needs to get used to that but he also shouldn't feel replaced or pushed to the side.
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  #5  
July 2nd, 2013, 09:50 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Minneapolis
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My DD is acting out more often also but I know its nothing to do with her new little brother. She absolutely freaks out if she doesn't see him and constantly frets that he will go away. Most of DDs attitude started months ago. She no longer listens to anything and is constantly pushing her boundaries and acting out. It did get a bit worse for a bit afterwards but the thing she keeps obsessing over is that "mommy and daddy disappeared" (We were both gone for a day without her and I was at the hospital for two days...and even when DH came home that first night and her grandma who she loves was with her she kept constantly asking for me) and now she's on the alert afraid that I will leave again.
I've been on my own since Monday with both newborn and 2 year old though. And I agree. It is definitely a new challenge!! I felt super accomplished for cleaning my kitchen floor yesterday and cleaning the kitchen and doing a few loads of laundry on top of being a milk cow for DS and chasing DD around everywhere constantly trying to get her to mind. Lol I know I hadn't really done much but I felt like I had done a ton!
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  #6  
July 2nd, 2013, 11:06 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
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It gets better! Jaleigh was 3 when Kiefer was born. We went through a phase where she would act out (not listening, throwing fits). She loved him but hated all the new changes. We just stayed consistent with not letting her get away with things. We established somewhat of a routine as soon as possible and that made a big difference. Just give it a little time. He will be acting like he's never known anything different soon.
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  #7  
July 3rd, 2013, 04:52 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Maryland, near DC
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We are having similar issues with Anna. Some of the stuff (not listening, talking back) started a few weeks before she was born. She loves Lena. She hugs her, kisses her, wants to be near her, but sometimes, she will ask me to put her down to come dance (which requires both of my hands bc she wants be Cinderella and I get to be Prince Charming in DH's absence). I do what I can, but Lena has to nurse/be held ALL THE TIME. She even wakes up if I put her down when she's asleep. I was terrified when DH had to go back to work. He also only got a week off. (His company offers longer paternity leave, but only after you've been there a year and he just started in Dec.) This is his second week back. Truthfully, it is tough. I don't really get much time to do anything except stuff with the kids. Some days, it's hard to get something to eat or even a glass of water. But I manage. When DH gets home, he takes the kids for 10-15 mins while I go take a break. That helps. The hardest thing is when Anna needs help to go potty while Lena is nursing. That's a trick, but I make it happen. You can do it. It will be tough, but you will figure out how to make it work for you and you will. Good luck!
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  #8  
July 3rd, 2013, 08:16 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
It gets better I promise! Part of the behavior is being 3. This is my second week on my own with 3 kids. Last week was awful. My 5 year old started talking like a baby and whining constantly, and my 3 year old who has been potty trained for a year suddenly became terrified of using the potty and ended up with a UTI. This week is much better. It's still tricky to get lunches and snacks done at a decent time but we manage.
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  #9  
July 3rd, 2013, 05:06 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: St. Paul MN
Posts: 773
I really have no advice. In the same boat here, too. My two older ones are almost constantly at each other's throat, when they're not and they're playing nice, it involves a ridiculous amount of noise. My DH went back to work last week, plus he's been gone every night since and all last weekend putting in a sprinkler system for my step mom. I feel like I'm going crazy! It's been hard getting them out to play, which they need everyday, especially the last couple days because Sam's been cluster feeding. Most of the time I'll just wrap the baby up in the carrier and take them for a quick bike ride. It makes us all feel so much better. I know most of it is just adjusting to adding another child, but I can't wait for it to feel normal again!
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