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Having a hard time...Not sure we are cut out for this. Update with Question


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
July 12th, 2013, 05:32 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 750
I just get frustrated and feel bad when I can't calm my little guys. Sometimes he cries and cries. he is no longer hungry. The nook don't work. He hates his swing/bouncy seat. He hold him and rock him and nothing seems to work. it just makes me feeling like a bad mom when i can't fix what is wrong. My So gets VERY frustrated and that makes things worse.

I finally used one of my swaddle me sacks and put him in the rock and play sleeper, it's the most he has slept in a long time. I just have a hard time sometimes with not knowing what to do.

also there is this thing he does , he acts like he is still hungry after eating and I go to give him the bottle and he cries and shakes his head back and forth, it's confusing any ideas?
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Last edited by bobbiejo1982; July 13th, 2013 at 10:35 PM. Reason: update
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  #2  
July 12th, 2013, 05:43 PM
princess136's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Texas
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I am so sorry you are upset.

I too have a hard time calming Aubrey. She seems hungry all the time but she will take a bottle anytime. She seems to want to be held all day and really doesn't want to sleep for long periods of time during the day (and of course not at night).

Sometimes I just let her cry in her swing or bouncer for as long as I can stand it and by the time I pick her up she is almost asleep from exhaustion. Also she really is soothed by the sound of the vacuum and the dishwasher. I was shampooing carpets the other day and she just cried when it wasn't on but as soon as I turned it on she was right asleep. Same thing in the kitchen while I was cooking and I put her bouncer next to the dishwasher. Weird but it works for mine.

Good luck and hang in there!
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  #3  
July 12th, 2013, 05:50 PM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
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Is he gassy? My guy gets super fussy after eating and if I don't burp him, he's a mess. And sometimes even after he burps, he's still fussy. He's not better until he farts or poops. Maybe gas drops might help?
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  #4  
July 12th, 2013, 06:28 PM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You're not a bad mom, hun...sometimes babies cry, and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.

My DD was one of those babies. Cried inconsolably for hours and hours on end, no matter what I tried. She wasn't hungry, she didn't need a diaper change, she just cried all the time. She was colicky, very gassy, and all the gas drops and tummy rubbing and leg bicycling in the world didn't help. I used to just sit with her in my arms and sob because I couldn't make her stop. I thought I was a terrible mother. I thought I wasn't cut out for it. I was resentful and wished I'd never had her. I felt like I had no connection to her...like, I knew I was supposed to feel this unconditional love for her, but I just didn't. I had major postpartum depression.

The good news is that they grow out of it. Eventually they start sleeping longer stretches, and stop crying as much...you become less frazzled and you get more sleep...and slowly but surely you get past this phase and realize that you ARE cut out for being a mom and you do love your baby more than anything in the entire world.

I do have one bit of advice - it may or may not help you since it sounds like you're already trying everything you can... When he acts like he's still hungry after you've fed him, but then shakes his head back and forth and won't take the bottle? That sounds exactly like my son when he needs to burp. I breastfeed, but the behaviour is the same. He latches on and off and shakes his head and acts like he's hungry, but won't actually eat. When he starts doing that, I prop him up on my chest and start patting his back firmly and I usually get 2-3 loud belches out of him. At that point if he's still hungry, he'll start rooting around for the breast again, or if he's done he'll start to fall asleep on my chest.

Anyways, good luck. We're here to support you, and many of us have been (or are) where you are right now.
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  #5  
July 12th, 2013, 07:29 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies appreciate it.

I agree it may be a gas or formula/breastmilk issue.

We burp him often and he burps pretty well. i kinda thought that was the issue when he shakes his head like that. Sometimes i try burping and he still screams and cries. Good to know that is more than likely the problem.

Is it ok to give the gas drops every night? or more than once a day?
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  #6  
July 12th, 2013, 08:02 PM
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Check the package but ours says up to 12 times a day so we give it after each feeding. Also, try tummy time on a firm surface. He'll hate it but since he's already screaming you might as well. The pressure will move gas.Start at 5 minutes and work on up to 15 minutes 3 times a day. You can also take him outside. Sometimes the temperature change knocks them out and/or quiets them.
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  #7  
July 12th, 2013, 09:01 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Also at around a few weeks they can go thru a period where they may cry for no reason its called purple crying. My DD went thru it and it lasted a few weeks. There was no rhyme or reason to it
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  #8  
July 13th, 2013, 03:55 AM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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thanks for all the info.

He screams after he eats so it really makes me think it's a tummy issue.
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  #9  
July 13th, 2013, 05:01 AM
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Just wanted to add that it is not you at all. Every night Ellianna screams (turns red, shakes her arms and lets her lip quiver) from about 7:30 to 9:00 or so. NOTHING stops her screaming. Last night I nursed her, changed her diaper, walked her, patted her, bounced her, held her in every direction, walked inside, walked outside, changed her into warmer clothes. DH's Dad is very ill and he is there a significant time (last night it was just me and the three kids from 5-11). I told DH I was temped to place Elli in the crib and go take a bath since it was obvious that nothing I was doing was helping her. I didn't - but really thought about it.

The reason I share is to say that I am what some might say an expereinced mom as Ellianna is my 3rd. Even so, I have no idea what to do at times. We have discovered that there are time she just screams. I check to ensure that she is nursed, changed, warm enough, and nothing is pinching her (no spare strings wrapped anywhere). At that point, you have done all can. I then walk and snuggle. Sometimes I just kiss her repeatedly and say to her "you cannot scream forever, you will get tired).

I also have used the blanket swaddler sack for the last 3-4 nights. It works like a charm for us. She will not let me put it on until she is asleep. Then however, she will sleep 3 hours straight (which is really good for us).
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  #10  
July 13th, 2013, 05:14 AM
zkat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hang in there. You are an awesome mommy! The other ladies have covered my thoughts. You have some really awesome friends. Take them up on the offer to help. You will feel so much better after a couple hours sleep
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  #11  
July 13th, 2013, 07:20 AM
TeresaV's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DD does the same thing while eating, and it's definitely because of gas. I use both Mylicon drops and Gripe Water (not at the same time). If she is not too fussy I'll use the Mylicon drops. The Gripe Water is great if she is cranky because it really mellows her out, but doesn't really relieve the gas as well as the Mylicon. I find burping during feeding a lot helps, but sometimes there is nothing I can do and I just have to keep reminding myself that she'll grow out of it. Hang in there...it gets easier; at least that's what I'm told.
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  #12  
July 13th, 2013, 07:51 AM
SassySami's Avatar Crunchy mama
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Screaming after he eats. Sounds like a acid reflux issue. Does he arch is back? I would take him into the drs they will check for reflux and then put him on meds to help with it. You will be amazed at how fast the meds work. Hang in there mama it will get better
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  #13  
July 13th, 2013, 12:59 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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Yes he does arch his back. But he doesn't spit up often. I'll be talking to the doctor Monday when i go fo my appointment
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  #14  
July 13th, 2013, 02:07 PM
kit.kat.81's Avatar Veteran
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Some babies have something called "silent reflux" where they simply swallow the acid back down and don't spit up much. Might be worth asking about.

My DD is pretty gassy, and we've found that resting her on her tummy on the exercise ball and slowly rolling her in circles on the top helps get the gas out.
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  #15  
July 13th, 2013, 02:45 PM
SassySami's Avatar Crunchy mama
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Yeah silent reflux
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  #16  
July 13th, 2013, 06:26 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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You are doing amazing hun even when you dont feel like it you are. Hang in there.
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  #17  
July 13th, 2013, 06:40 PM
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*HUGS* You're an awesome mommy!

Nolan does the same head shaking and it is usually gas or he is tired and wants to nurse to sleep but then again doesn't

Corbin has gas issues and we use either the gas drops or gripe water. Gripe water as done nothing for us though. Walk outside usually does it for us if we can't calm him down any other way.

Also my babies have a fussy time. Anytime after 5pm to around 9/10pm (whenever they settle down for bed) they are usually either eating or screaming. Right now my nipples are extremely sore from the cluster feeding they decided to do tonight. I needed a 15 min break so currently DH has them both in his lap screaming. I've really noticed this fussy time getting worse since they have started becoming more alert. I've heard that it can overstimulate some babies for awhile until they get used to it.
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  #18  
July 13th, 2013, 09:16 PM
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Rowan has silent reflux. The day he got medication is the day he began to eat regular amounts at regular intervals. Solved one problem but still have others. I'm thrilled though :-)

Also, I wanted to add this: when the baby cries and you go through the usual steps to calm them down (feed, etc) but they still scream...put them down. Put them some place quiet and dim and serene, like their crib. And for 15 minutes do something else. They need a break from being fussed over and you need a break from fussing. Heck, go longer if you need to. Go outside even. Take the monitor but turn it way down. Sometimes babies need to scream to reorganize their sensory input and they're getting overstimulated. As parents we need to understand our limits and to respect them. As long as you are meeting your baby's needs and they are in a safe place it is totally okay to take a break.
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  #19  
July 13th, 2013, 10:34 PM
bobbiejo1982's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 750
Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. I talked to the doctor on phone and they thought reflux. They told me to make an appointment Monday. The only thing I am worried about now is dehydration. He is eating still maybe not as much but his stool is really dry and way less than normal. Anyone have this?? Do you think I am ok until Monday.

We are also trying the 5 S's to calm him.
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  #20  
July 13th, 2013, 10:43 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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What about his pee diapers? What does his soft spot feel like?
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