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feeling bad because things didn't go as planned


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By sunnydaze

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  #1  
July 15th, 2013, 01:33 AM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
NOTHING went as planned. I don't remember most of my pregnancy. The first few weeks of Jocelyn's life are a blur. I had to switch to formula after only a month and every single day I am reminded I'm not nursing and I have the worst guilt. No newborn pictures, no newborn clothes. I didn't buy one item of clothing until Jocelyn came home. I had all these ideas and plans when I found out I was expecting and now they are all gone. It's too late to do most of them now. I feel like someone died and I'm in mourning. I just wish I could wake up and find out it was all a bad dream. Does anyone else feel this way or should I check myself into the looney bin now?
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  #2  
July 15th, 2013, 06:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Near Washington DC
Posts: 1,174
I think things didn't go as expected and you have every right to feel the way you do. I also think that down the road, these things aren't the really big most important things that you are going to mull over.

I think she has many more milestones and many more "moments" left in her little life that you will find joy in.

She was off to a rough start, but YOU were amazing through it. Honestly, I don't know how you kept it all together. I think I would of fell apart.

Her milestones now, are bigger...and different from most other babies. But that doesn't make them any less important.

Maybe you could try focusing on that, instead of the guilt you are feeling.
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  #3  
July 15th, 2013, 07:05 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You are by no means crazy, even if no one else is feeling that way. No one else has been through what you have been through. Your faith through your whole pregnancy and through Jocelyn's trials has been truly inspirational. I know tat you know that God's strength is made perfect in your weakness. You need to place all of these feelings at His feet. You have every right to mourn for the pregnancy and baby experience that you didn't get to have. But Scripture tells us that He will give us the oil of joy for mourning. God has an amazing purpose for what you have experienced that you may or may not ever fully know. But you and Jocelyn have already been an amazing example to others of the power of prayer and what can happen when you choose to obey God, trusting in Him instead of doctors. I think there are a lot of people who have given God a second look because of you. I put a link to a song below, Blessings. I don't know if you've heard it, but it's amazing and I just really wanted to encourage you. Big hugs! I will continue to pray for you.

Laura Story - Blessings - YouTube
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  #4  
July 15th, 2013, 10:44 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with the other ladies - you are certainly not crazy and I think anyone in your position would feel the same way. I couldn't have gone through what you have and stayed sane and all through it you were hopeful and optimistic. I know I couldn't have done that. You have every right to feel the way you feel.
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  #5  
July 15th, 2013, 11:28 AM
Steph625's Avatar Super Mommy
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I think you are an amazing woman/mommy! Not crazy at all. Hang in there momma! Lots of hugs!
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  #6  
July 15th, 2013, 12:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
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It's totally normal to feel the way you do, but you're not crazy. It's never too late to make new memories. Start a baby book, or scrap book of Jocelyn's life. Take foot or hand prints and add to baby book. She's only gonna be this little for a short period of time.
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  #7  
July 15th, 2013, 05:24 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
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Thank you all. I'm just having a rough patch. I'm still not sure why Jocelyn was given to us. I never saw myself as a parent who could handle a baby with special medical needs, but I guess no one does until they have yo do it.
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  #8  
July 15th, 2013, 05:32 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I think you have handled everything with such grace. You are an amazing mommy. It's never too late.
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