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DH's birthday is tomorrow, and I'm faced with the same dilemma that I've been faced with every birthday and Christmas since I became a stay-at-home mom... How do I buy him a gift with his own money?
I mean, I know that it's "OUR" money. But when it comes to getting gifts for him, it always seems like he's just buying himself a gift. This past Christmas, I made him a giant tin of all his favourite cookies, plus his favourite apple pie...and he seemed really happy with that. And when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, he just requested a nice dinner and the apple pie again, instead of a cake.
I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking this. Whenever he says, "I don't really need anything", in my mind I'm thinking like a woman...a woman will tell you everything's fine and they don't really need anything, but then be disappointed when they don't get anything. But since he's a man, when he says he doesn't need anything, he probably really means that he doesn't need anything...right?
I did give Fiona $10 and took her to the dollar store and let her pick out a bunch of stuff that she thought Daddy would like. It was funny to see what she chose without any input from me. She got him a giant rubber snake, a glow-stick light saber, his favourite chocolate bar, a dinosaur egg that hatches out a dinosaur when you put it in water, and two foam swords so they can have sword fights. So we're going to wrap those today, and it'll be fun for him to open those silly gifts. I just feel kind of bad that yet again, I'm not getting anything for him.
So, for the other stay-at-home moms out there...how do you handle gift giving for your spouse?
Yeah, same here. I buy my DH what he wants, and he usually gives me a list of things he wants but we were to stingy to buy without the excuse of a birthday or Christmas. Typically it's video games I do love what your DD bought him! That was a cute idea!
Ditto above, if it was just his money, I would never buy anything! I always try to buy gifts that he isn't expecting. Something that he mentioned he wanted awhile back, I'll make myself notes on my phone. Or if we go out shopping on the weekend and he really wants to get something but talks himself out of it, those sort of things!
I guess even though technically I know it's our money, not his...I never really truly accepted that. I don't have any trouble buying things for the kids or groceries or things that I know DH needs...but I NEVER buy anything for myself. My clothes will literally be in tatters before DH notices and tells me to go buy new clothes for myself...I'll go a year in between haircuts because they're too expensive, even though he gets his hair cut every 3 weeks.
I like Jess's way of thinking of it - that he works hard for his money and deserves to be surprised with it. I'm going to have to remember that. Then once I get over the mental block of spending his money, I just have to figure out what to buy for him...because like I said, he always just says that he doesn't really need anything!
And as for Karry's idea...lol, well that doesn't really work for us. He's perfectly happy to go a month or two in between DTD. I'm the one that's always begging for it. So I can't really use that as a gift or bargaining tool since I want it more than he does!
I know what things he usually wants and will typically buy for himself. A month before his birthday/Christmas, I'll tell him not to buy himself anything and I'll get him the stuff I know he would get himself anyway. LOL! That way "I" am buying him a present. I also do make him a lot of stuff. I'll have the kids do craft projects for him, make a special dinner, pick up some good beer, invite his friends over, etc.
Lisa, mom to Alie and Christian
What we do is set a birthday budget so that way the money is already allocated to that same with Christmas and other gift giving holidays and we go to the store/shop online what have you with that set number in mind. Before I'd use the credit card not realizing that he'd be able to see exactly what I bought. LOL It takes some trial and error. Dh never gets stuff for himself so I like to spoil him on his birthday.
Not a SAHM. However there were times DH made more and times when I do. I like to think that sibce we are married and I bore his children, it is our $ whoever technically earns it. If he makes $ it is b/c I am doing things with the kids giving him the time to work. Likewise when I work extra it is b/c DH is doing his share plus with kids. As for gits, I get DH clothes as he hates to shop.