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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
July 29th, 2013, 01:52 PM
Hopeful2BMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm about to give up giving Eli breast milk. I feel terrible about it. I always said I wouldn't breastfeed. Then I got pregnant and didn't think I'd ever give him formula. After he was born, he never seemed satisfied. He Wohld suck for hours and then scream until I put him back on. I've pretty much stopped letting him latch. It still hurts so bad and my nipples peel and pieces fall off regardless of keeping lanolin on. I've tried fenugreek, alfalfa, mother's milk tea, and oatmeal. Nothing has helped with my supply. It keeps doing down. Eli eats 3 oz every 2-3 hrs. I never pump more than an oz every 2-3 hrs. Its never enough. Sometimes I don't even get an ounce and never get more anymore. I got the depo shot before leaving the hospital which could contribute to my poor supply.

Ugh.

So what would you do? Would you keep pumping so you could feed your baby an ounce of bm? Or would you call it quits? Honestly, I want to quit, but I feel so guilty. Obviously guilty to not give him any breast milk but also about the money I've spent on a pump. And I feel like I'll get judged by our families.

Advice?
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  #2  
July 29th, 2013, 02:00 PM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't really have any advice as I wasn't able to breastfeed Anna due to a lot of different things. I never got more than a half teaspoon from both breasts combined when I pumped and we had to start supplementing on day one home from the hospital. My milk never really came in. I still feel guilty and sad about it, but honestly, there was nothing else we could do. No matter what you decide to do, you've breastfed for this long and that's awesome!
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  #3  
July 29th, 2013, 02:24 PM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Amy, I had the same problem with DD. I eventually gave it up completely at 10 weeks. I was miserable, suffering from ppd, and our BFing relationship was just awful. I was in so much pain and I felt so guilty for quitting, even though I had been supplementing from day one. I rarely ever got more than an ounce total when pumping, also. But once I quit trying (my supply was nearly nonexistent by the time I decided), we were both much happier. She was perfectly happy on formula full time and I was much less stressed. You may feel guilty right now but once you see how much happier you both are, that guilt will melt away. You have to do what's right for you and Eli. Hugs Hun. I know it's hard, but you will get through it.
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  #4  
July 29th, 2013, 02:53 PM
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I gave up about 2 weeks ago. I suffered from thrush, it was very painful. I supplemented while I healed...anyways, I had to quit eventually. I too felt guilty, but I feel SO MUCH BETTER now.

I know she will be fine, and we still bond.

IT IS OKAY. She will still love you.

Plus, I can drink wine now, and that is awesome.

she.....he LOL sorry, I was thinking about my own experience while I typed.

You know what I mean!
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  #5  
July 29th, 2013, 03:10 PM
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Amy -I am a big promoter of bf as I have done so with all 3. However, I know there are many ways to bond and babies can thrive on formula. There are so many choices we make as parents. You need to make those choices that work for your family. As long as you care for your child's needs, family should not judge food source.
Also wht not pump for another 5 days keeping it in the fridge while giving just formula. Then u have the ability to go to just formula while keeping supply for 5 days in case u change ur mind. If u r ok with the formula, then u can stop feeling good with your choice.
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  #6  
July 29th, 2013, 03:15 PM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You have to do what works for you. You can still bond with Eli even if you are not BFing. And the bonding you have will be better bc you will not be stressed all of the time. You will both be happier in the long run. And there are millions of happy, healthy FF babies out there who grow up to be happy, healthy adults.
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  #7  
July 29th, 2013, 03:30 PM
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Popping in from the July DDC (though I have a June baby ) because I'm in the same boat as you.

I've had trouble with my supply from day 1. DS had low blood sugar & jaundice, and my milk didn't come in until day 5, so we've been supplementing from the very beginning. I have one breast that is severly lacing milk ducts. It has always been smaller, but now it's significantly smaller. I've never been able to pump more than 1/4oz from it.

I've been able to increase my supply in the other breast so I have enough milk, but just barely. Some things I've learned (but you probably know all of these):
- the LC told me you need to take Blessed Thistle if you are taking Fenugreek because it helps it work better.
- Fenugreek comes in different amount, so taking 3, 3 times a day doesn't always work. You need to take enough so you smell like maple syrup.
- TALK TO A DOCTOR! There are prescriptions that help. I've been prescribed Domperidone, which is not approved in the US (I'm in Canada), but there are other options.
- You produce much more milk when relaxed, which sucks when producing milk is a major cause of stress!!
- Make sure you are not sleeping on your stomach.
- A double pump is a must because stimulating both breasts at the same time increases production.

I used to pump 20 mins on each side and get a total of 10mL and be ELATED! Now I'm getting enough, but my whole day revolves around milk production. Oatmeal, mothers milk tea, 28 pills a day, nursing, pumping, staying off my stomach. There is literally nothing more I can do.

If we fail at this, at least we can go out knowing we did everything we can. What's best for baby is a relaxed, happy Mom. If that means we formula feed, then we formula feed. It's loving and providing for our children that matters.

The person who said "Don't cry over spilled milk" obviously wasn't a mother with low supply who spilled 3oz of pumped milk on the floor.
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  #8  
July 29th, 2013, 07:33 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Omg I had this whole response typed out and it deleted it all. I will write it again later. Ugh!
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  #9  
July 29th, 2013, 09:57 PM
Eleanor-Abigail's Avatar Keep Calm and Baby Dance
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Hopeful2BMommy, I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with this! My LO is 2.5 and we weaned long ago, but I still read these threads because it was SO hard for us to get started.

Have you seen a lactation consultant, visited KellyMom.com, or La Leche League? They have great resources. I noticed that you said you had a Depo shot before leaving the hospital. Was that your choice? I only ask because hormonal birth control is known to reduce breastmilk supply. And yet, health care providers still push it! A lactation consultant or La Leche League leader may be able to give you more information about the impact of your Depo shot.

How is Eli's weight gain? If he is gaining weight (even if he's in the 2nd percentile!), and making sufficient wet and poopy diapers every day (I think 12 at this point? KellyMom will have the #), you're doing OK. He could be fussy due to reflux, colic, something in your diet...any number of things.

HOWEVER: if not being able to breastfeed is causing you too much stress, and you think the two of you will be better off going to formula, do it.

I'm a big supporter of breastfeeding, and I went through my own struggles with it, but what was the right choice for me and my LO may not be the right choice for you and Eli.

I encourage you to speak to a lactation consultant or one of the other resources mentioned regarding the Depo, and do what feels right for you and Eli. (By the way: I was formula fed and graduated with honors from HS and college. DH was breastfed and graduated w/ honors also. Our LO was breastfed and got ear tubes at 5 months due to recurrent ear infections that I now believe may have been exacerbated by my mega-oversupply. Go figure!!)
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  #10  
July 30th, 2013, 12:16 AM
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The hardest thing to do right now is to relax but it is needed most. Not sure if you tried but when you pump leave it on for 5-10 min extra to see if you get another let down. Deep breathe while nursing & pumping helps a ton. Good luck & lots of hugs your way
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  #11  
July 30th, 2013, 06:17 AM
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I am also a huge supporter of breastfeeding, but then I have never personally had any huge problems with it. I would support a mother's sanity over her ability to breastfeed any day. Your baby will be well nourished no matter what you decide to do. I know a lot of moms, pretty much an equal amount of women who have breastfed and who have formula fed and there is no noticeable difference in the health or well being of their children! All three of mine have been breastfed, my oldest has slight behavioral issues and my second has very sensitive skin, and while both my children are pretty intelligent, I don't really think breastfeeding was a huge contributing factor to that. I guess to sum it up, my opinion is, if you will feel happier not being stressed about it, stop. There's no reason you should look back on his early babyhood and really only remember how stressed you were about milk production. I have no doubt that the Depo shot had a bad effect on your supply, as most hormonal birth control does, and the doctor that gave it to you really sucks for not warning you about that. He will thrive no matter what you decide to do.
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  #12  
July 30th, 2013, 08:42 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Ok let's try this again.

First, you are not a failure, Eli will not think less of you in you stop and be only has formula, and I know I will support you with whatever decision you decide.

With that said your post sounds like you are not ready to stop yet if I am getting the wrong vibe then I'm so sorry. I am 100% sure depo is the reason your supply is not what it should be. I am so many emotions that they gave it to you before even leaving the hospital, knowing you were trying to establish breastfeeding. What a crock, seriously doctors and their support staff usually do not know enough about lactation. This is not your fault! If they are going to work with birthing women they need to be informed on lactating women and how to help them be successful those first few months. I'm very shocked they even mentioned birth control before 6 weeks. It's one thing to discuss it but its another to actually give it. This makes me so frustrated and mad for you.

I believe if you wanted to you could get back your supply. Especially as the depo begins to wear off. I also suggest a lactation consultant to watch him nurse, check for a lip or a tongue tie, help you learn to latch him correctly, and show you different positions. Breastfeeding is a bit painful in the beginning and the nipples do need to toughen up, since he hasn't been on the breast much from what I understand from your other posts it could simply be that your nipples need more time. To bring back your supply I would put him to the breast every time you think he needs to eat, then give him the bottle and then pump. He is more likely to bring up your supply than anything. Take some time with him alone skin to skin, when you first latch him sing to him or whatever you need to, to try not to think about the initial latch. The not acting satisfied in the beginning is usually a common misconception that baby needs to be supplemented (again I say usually sometimes there are other reasons). They constantly feed to bring in your milk and because their tummies are the size of a marble. It's easy to doubt yourself with anything when it comes to being a mother. But at the end of the day our babies are loved no matter how they are fed and you are supported here no matter how you feed him. Huge hugs Hun it will get better!
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Last edited by navywifey2003; July 30th, 2013 at 08:44 AM.
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  #13  
July 30th, 2013, 09:28 AM
Mom2LillieAidan's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I whole heartedly agree with everything Lyndsey said. She helped me tremendously through the first weeks when I felt like all I ever did was nurse and, though she doesn't know it, she stopped me from giving up. I fully believe you can keep it up if you really want to but it will take time and it will take work. Yes, it will hurt at first (and sometimes later on if Eli abuses your nipples like Aidan does to mine) but the pain will lessen significantly with time. We will all support you 100% no matter what you decide but just know that if you really don't want to stop, you have options and we are here to help. You have my number, feel free to text me anytime you have a question or are frustrated.
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  #14  
July 30th, 2013, 11:51 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Aww thanks Jess. I didn't have much support the first go around so it's nice to give it to others. But I also know that support and telling what to do are two different things.
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  #15  
July 30th, 2013, 03:09 PM
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So sorry you are having trouble. These ladies have been such a huge support with me having trouble as well. Just know that no matter what you chose you will be supported.

In the beginning my nipples felt like they were on FIRE. I hated nursing because it hurt so bad. I would cry when someone would bring me one of the babies because it was a source of frustration, in more ways than one, for every one. After about three days of non-stop nursing, and crying, it just went away. Although sometimes they still like to play with them and can start hurting me but they are almost always done eating at that point and are either fighting sleep or something else is bothering them and I just unlatch them and try to take care of whatever it was bothering them.

As for the supply I don't have any real tips outside of what you have tried. Mine has gone from my milk being late, to not enough to oversupply to I finally thing maybe things are evening out. maybe....

anyway when I had not enough I was trying everything, as soon as I started drinking gatorade, like big things three or four times day...then I had an oversupply. I'm not sure what it was it may have just been me staying hydrated but also enjoying staying hydrated. I was beginning to hate water so it was relaxing to have something else.

I hope things get better for you. HUGE HUGS!
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  #16  
July 30th, 2013, 03:43 PM
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Hope yo are feeling a little better today. Most importantly I hope yo can enjoy this time with Eli. It goes so quickly.
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  #17  
July 30th, 2013, 04:58 PM
Hopeful2BMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for your comments ladies.
I'm hoping to get him to 2 months even if its just 1 bm bottle a day.
I would never worry about not bonding with Eli because of not breastfeeding. I know he will love his momma regardless
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  #18  
July 30th, 2013, 10:15 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Some breast milk is better than nothing! In know its tough. With DD I only was able to give her maybe one bottle a day of Breast milk. Things are going much better with little man but my supply is still troublesome for me and I am doing everything also and it sucks. Its frustrating I know exactly how you feel. I myself will continue to do all I can and give little man what BM I can until I dry up but even some is better than nothing.
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  #19  
July 31st, 2013, 04:50 AM
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I just wanted to say I feel your frustration on the cost of the pump. You have done it far longer than I did. My best advice is don't let guilt drive a decision. I do this often and I'm slowly learning with Aubrey to do what's best for her but also for me and the rest of my family.

Good luck!
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  #20  
July 31st, 2013, 05:29 AM
Steph625's Avatar Super Mommy
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Girl, I feel ya, 100%!! I'm having a crap of a time and I'm seriously thinking of giving up too. I'm eating oatmeal and drinking mothers milk tea. I'm taking 12 fenugreek and 8 alfalfa pills a day. I even took one whole prescription of reglan. I've seen a lactation consultant. I latch every 3 hrs, supplement, then pump.

One day I decided to pump only just to see how much I get without breastfeeding first. I literally was in a foul mood all day but when I latched before bedtime, I feel an instant lift in my spirits. I know you are bottle feeding BM. Like all the ladies said...do what is best for you and Eli.
I know you are a good Christian woman. Don't worry about people and family judging. Let them judge cuz one day they will get their judgement. Just pray for them.
I think you've done an amazing job so far!
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