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Sometimes I could kill him (OT rant).


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
August 10th, 2013, 10:27 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Honestly, SO has been pretty great. He's done great with Anna since the day she was born. He really didn't start helping through the night until she was almost a month old, but that's water under the bridge. Right now he's driving me crazy, though. It has nothing to do with Anna, really. Sometimes he doesn't really do things quick enough for my taste, such as getting her a bottle when we know she's hungry. I guess I can forgive that. What is driving me crazy is he'll gladly help me clean up the house, but doesn't bother to do anything unless I start doing something. I decided to get the dishes done while he was home today since he has a late shift...and he decides to help me. It drives me crazy because he doesn't do dishes like I do, which is fine, but do two people really need to do just a few dishes? Then I decide to sweep the kitchen floor. He stands there and watches me. Really? You can't clear off the table or wipe down the stove or something?

The thing is...he's the one always saying how he LOVES a clean house and has no problem cleaning. Really? Because I can't remember the last time he ran the vacuum or did a chore without me complaining about something, starting the chore myself, or getting frustrated enough to ask him to do it. He got all "Aw, you didn't have to do that sweetie, I would've done it" when I told him I completely cleaned the litter box (took it outside and hosed it down and everything). He wouldn't have done that unless I asked him to a hundred times, and even then I'd have had to start doing it myself.

Oh...and when it's hot and humid like it is right now, is it really a good idea to open up the windows? I mean..common sense.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just a little on edge today. We've figured out that Anna will sleep about an hour at a time during the day if we use the miracle blanket and she was sleeping peacefully until the dog barked for no reason and then SO thought it was a good idea to yell at the dog after the fact and while I almost had Anna back to sleep. Needless to say, Anna did not go back to sleep.

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  #2  
August 10th, 2013, 11:58 AM
MarylandMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Maryland, near DC
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I have the EXACT same problem with DH... He will clear off the counters and do the dishes. I guess I should give credit where it is due. But vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, bathrooms, laundry, putting done laundry away... any of that. He will say he will do it and I practically have to kill him just to get him to start and he very rarely finished. And what bit is done is usually completely half a**ed. Endlessly irritating. His family is coming to visit on Friday, so I foresee a week of fighting about getting the house clean before they get here.
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  #3  
August 10th, 2013, 12:05 PM
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It is just men DH does not see what needs to be done. I literally have to make a list. He will help - but I need to ask. Really - do only women see that the floor needs to be vacummed or that there is dust on the tables, etc. He is good with laundry though - I guess a full basket is easy to see.
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  #4  
August 10th, 2013, 01:01 PM
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DH will clean the kitchen...and that's it. If I ask him to clean he will maybe sweep or dust but refuses to put away ANYTHING because "he doesn't know where to put it" I always feel like I'm saying just common sense or figure it out. He won't though.
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  #5  
August 10th, 2013, 05:29 PM
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I have to ask too. Sometimes I will make a list...on paper or text it to him. Men are just this way. Don't hint....don't try and get him to want to do it himself without being asked...he doesn't and he wont.

Just say "Hey...when your done eating that sandwich I just made you, think you could do the dishes and run some laundry?"

(making the sandwich obligates him to be your slave for at least an hour)

I don't know about your man, but mine will do it no problem.


Also, as others have mentioned....men won't clean like we clean....or how we expect it to be done. Here is a list of things he doesn't do right:

1. clean down the counters in the kitchen
2. fold towels, underwear and tshirts
3. clean his **** whiskers out of the sink after he shaves
4. Understand that glass cleaner exists for mirrors too
5. Use the vacuum attachment to get close to the baseboards.
6. wipe out the sink after doing the dishes

HAHA...but he does it and he does it to the best of his ability, and he works really hard to pay the bills, so I am grateful and I will take it
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  #6  
August 11th, 2013, 11:54 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Location: North Carolina
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My DH doesn't clean or straighten up. Maybe once a week he will do some dishes, but that's it. He doesn't straighten up even when I ask. His only chore is bathrooms, but he will maybe do it twice a year. Drives me insane. Now I am okay with him not doing laundry because he would screw it up.
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  #7  
August 11th, 2013, 05:35 PM
ashleykathleen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is an endless battle at our house. But, after many years of fighting about it and getting mad at him for his lack of effort, we have come to a mutual understanding. He gathers up all the trash and takes it out along with cleaning the litter box. He does this several times a week and they are the only things I don't have to nag him about. I do the rest because he half ***** everything else. His contribution? Taking care of all the kids and keeping them out of my hair while I'm cleaning. If I am doing all the floors or cleaning bathrooms or something, he will often take all the kids down to the park or to the library around the corner. Sometimes he just takes everyone outside and they play. It allows him to be a giant kid and bond with the kiddos and it honestly makes my job go a lot faster and smoother.

Just a thought...
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  #8  
August 11th, 2013, 07:12 PM
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My favorite thing is when I come back from visiting my mother overnight I get greet at the door with a "I did ALL the laundry!" Normally that would be awesome. But DH's version of doing "all the laundry" means he ran it through all the cycles, piled them up in the baskets, and left them all at the foot of the bed waiting for me to fold and put them all away.

Yay! lol

Quote:
1. clean down the counters in the kitchen
2. fold towels, underwear and tshirts
3. clean his **** whiskers out of the sink after he shaves
4. Understand that glass cleaner exists for mirrors too
5. Use the vacuum attachment to get close to the baseboards.
6. wipe out the sink after doing the dishes
AAAUGH, yes! Or changes a diaper and doesn't put the dirty wipes/diaper(if disposable) in the trash. I have found dirty cloth diapers laying on the changer or the floor before. Really? Or taking off his dirty clothing and leaving them on the floor INCHES from the hamper.
But as you say, shouldn't complain too hard. Just be grateful for their helping spirit.
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  #9  
August 12th, 2013, 10:17 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,834
Dirty clothes on top of the hamper drives me nuts too! Seriously take 2 seconds to open the lid and put the clothes in. DH also occasionally leaves a dirty cloth diaper on the changing table even though the pail is right there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleykathleen View Post
His contribution? Taking care of all the kids and keeping them out of my hair while I'm cleaning. If I am doing all the floors or cleaning bathrooms or something, he will often take all the kids down to the park or to the library around the corner. Sometimes he just takes everyone outside and they play. It allows him to be a giant kid and bond with the kiddos and it honestly makes my job go a lot faster and smoother.
.
To give my DH credit, he will usually get the kids out of the way too so I can clean. He really does a lot with the kids- not afraid to change diapers, wake up in the night for them, gets breakfast for the girls before he goes to work.
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  #10  
August 12th, 2013, 10:52 AM
eshute's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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My SO is honestly great. he really is. He was just driving me crazy that day. Yesterday my incision scar started bothering me and it's all red and swollen. I got really freaked out and he was great about it. I woke up this morning and was reading my email and had an order confirmation email from National Geographic. I was really confused and worried that someone hacked my stuff, but I asked him when he got up and he ordered it for me for my birthday (which isn't for a few weeks). I don't read much anymore, but I've always loved National Geographic. *sigh* Now I feel like a jerk for getting so irritated with him when I wrote the original post. :/
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  #11  
August 12th, 2013, 01:11 PM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
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Lol men are just men. I would like to think that I will raise Tristan to be different...however I know my mom said she would raise my brothers different also. And I know how all four of my brothers turned out and they are awesome yet...men. I firmly believe that something in having male genitals means most of their brain function goes towards their man bits. So there brains obviously still need to do basic functions like breathe and eat and go to the bathroom and have sex so it instantly says alright I can do without common sense as well as various other things LOL.
My DH attempted to help me switch the laundry over today. Which resulted in him taking the load of kids clothes out of the dryer(walking right past their clothes basket in the laundry room) and bringing the clothes into our bedroom and dropping them on our bed. Really? So now I had to go into the laundry room and get the clothes basket. Put the clothes in the basket and take them upstairs to the kids rooms to be hung up and put away. I pretty much asked him if he was an idiot and asked him if I have ever put the kids clothes in our room.
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  #12  
August 13th, 2013, 04:32 PM
Steph625's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: South Bloomfield, Ohio
Posts: 792
Grr! I have come to a realization that men need a little direction...ok...maybe A LOT of direction! They just seem to be clueless with cleaning. My husband's idea of cleaning the toilet is just scrubbing the inside...not wiping the outside of toilet at all, nor the top. He now comes to me with things to do and I gladly give them to him...just a little direction. But at least he is helping.
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