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Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Kim3

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  #1  
September 15th, 2013, 04:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 1,834
Today I got up to change Rowan. At night we use the pump to automatically feed him gradual doses all during the night. We are able to sneak in a few extra ounces on him doing this (like 3, woot!).

I changed Rowan and I noticed that his tubing was pinched. I unpinched it and laid him back in his bed. I look up at the tubing (like I always do!) and noticed that his overflow bag was FILLED. What this means is that because the tubing on Rowan was pinching, EVERYTHING that was supposed to get into him went into the overflow bag. 5 oz. FIVE OUNCES!!!

I was enraged. All of that had to be thrown away. I woke up DH and I asked him why he didn't see the tubing was filled when he put in the last bottle. According to what was in the bag and what was in the tubes/bag it should already have been backing up into the bag at the time DH put in the last bottle. He insisted that he didn't see it. I asked him if he looked and he admitted that he did not. So I yelled at him that he should ALWAYS check the tubing!

And then he got nasty with me saying that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't see it and I'm just looking for someone to blame. Well, I'm sorry! It's not hard to see when the milk backs up the tube. If it is back up beyond a certain point then you know there is an issue well before it reaches the bag. He wasn't looking, he wasn't careful or being thorough. And because he wasn't our baby will be short at least 100 calories today plus all the extra he was supposed to be getting. And our feeding schedule will be off by an hour!

So when 8am rolls around I have to cal the on-call doctor and ask what to do. He can't be short on that many calories.

I do know this. This is the end of the pump feedings. Forget it.
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  #2  
September 15th, 2013, 05:23 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 2,139
I am so sorry. Having to do these feeding has to be so incredibly hard. Not sticking up for your DH, but I just think men sometimes are oblivious at night. I know that my DH is a wonderful father but needs step by step instructions during the night hours.
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  #3  
September 15th, 2013, 08:25 AM
MamaSkunk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minneapolis
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Oh no! Hugs hun!
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  #4  
September 15th, 2013, 09:59 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 25,860
I'm sorry!! I know you both are stressed when it comes to making sure Rowan is getting fed. I hope your DH remembers to be more careful next time
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  #5  
September 15th, 2013, 03:24 PM
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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The truth is that DH is very helpful with the kids. He works from home and when he can he lends a hand during the difficult parts of the day. I'm very lucky in that regard.

It's just that Rory is now 3 months old and we haven't had a single break. A few times we have been able to snag about an hour to go for a walk by ourselves when visiting his parents. I haven't slept anywhere near a decent amount of sleep in a single night since before Rory was born. I know that it is a common parent of an infant complaint but this is so different. I rarely even get a nap during the day.

DH's parents have been the most helpful, they've been very willing to watch Alex during the day a few times but I hate to keep relying on them. They do so much for us! My family on the other hand...well...My Dad straight up told me when I explained how watching Alex would really help me get some rest and such that he just "doesn't do diapers." Seriously. My Mom has this new bit of real estate 2 hours east of me that she is constantly at supervising building and stuff. Nevermind that her fiance can go and do it all by himself. I keep telling her how exhausted I've been and how hard it is to keep up with stuff. I got reprimanded for not remembering her schedule! SORRY! I didn't realize until I went to the grocery store today that I haven't showered in 4 days.

You know, my parents suffered through my sister's leukemia and eventual death. They couldn't have made it through that without the powerful support of friends and family (my brother and I were on a continuous house rotation until my grandparents bought a house across the street from us). You would think that they would just have the littlest bit of understanding of what I'm going through. My Mom came over with my niece last week and instead of saying "Honey, you're tired. I'll watch the kids, you go lay down" she instead sacked out on the couch and suddenly I was in charge of 3 kids!

Everyone is hung up on the fact that i still pump. Yes, I still pump! I've dropped down to 5 pumps! We went for a week where half of Rory's feedings were with formula just to ease him on into it. And he got horribly, painfully backed up and began to vomit more than ever. So now i have to wait until he is a little bit older to try that again or just stick with what i am doing to ensure that it never happens again.

My brother and sister-in-law keep telling me to let them know if they can do anything. I've asked that they bring my niece over with them sometimes so that Alex can see her more often and get more socialization. Hasn't happened. They just don't get it. No one gets how exhausting this is. How emotionally draining. How much it would mean to me to get some regular help.

Last night we went on a walk and I found an in-home child care center who is accepting children and is pretty flexible in terms of times and money. My Mom a few weeks back kept saying that I should put Alex into daycare (because we have soooooo much money right now, lol). I'm going to ask if she will foot part of the bill.

I don't mean to dump all of this on here but I need to rant. I said a bunch of this stuff to a friend of mine and it upset her because she immediately offered to come over and take over for a bit. I appreciated it and told her no she shouldn't have to do that. I actually made her feel bad and that felt awful :S
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  #6  
September 15th, 2013, 04:07 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
Definitely ask your mom to help pay for the daycare!!! It ought to be the LEAST she can do. If she can't physically help, she can at least help pay someone else to do it.

I think you are so totally deserving of more help, it is so hard to ask for help but sometimes people just don't get it and you need to be really explicit. We have needed a lot of help too because of my injury. I have DD in preschool every weekday now for the whole morning but I *still* need more help. I just can't carry her, physically control her, run after her, etc. I am not making any progress anymore on my recovery because I keep overdoing it, but just taking care of my DD for a few hours = overdoing it, it sucks so just to say that I know how it is to need help and not know how to get it, with am struggling myself in a different way.

Besides getting your son in daycare, is there someone you can have watch Rory for an hour or two just so you can shower, lie down for a bit, or something? I hope you can get a break soon.

:do thug:
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  #7  
September 15th, 2013, 08:04 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Besides getting your son in daycare, is there someone you can have watch Rory for an hour or two just so you can shower, lie down for a bit, or something? I hope you can get a break soon.
That's the thing. Nope. When my Mom came over with my niece I thought that I would get that break. When my Dad came over to visit I had talked to him the night before about taking Alex to the park. I thought that was what he was coming over to do. But then he said he "doesn't do diapers" and I realized that he was just there to hang out for a bit and then leave. Once I even explicitly called him and asked him to take care of Alex for a few hours so that I could rest (I was 1.5weeks PP). He came over, ate lunch, and left. He refused to even take Alex into our backyard to play. As upset at my Mom as I am, I'm more enraged by my Dad. At least my Mom plays with Alex and she took charge of him while I was in the hospital with Rory. Alex has a good relationship with her. But Alex has NO idea who my Dad is.
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  #8  
September 15th, 2013, 11:53 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I wish I could help you get a break! I would in a heartbeat! You are handing this with a lot of grace Hun! I will continue to pray for you and your family!
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