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Frustrations in babysitting.


Forum: June 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By MerinSun

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  #1  
September 30th, 2013, 06:24 AM
Joanne Nicole's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 1,037
I have to say, my 5 year old daughter is the easiest kid in the world to babysit. She's very mature and independent, and is perfectly happy to play quietly in her room until you tell her it's bedtime, at which point she'll get her pj's on, brush her teeth, turn on her nighttime music, and go to bed - completely on her own.

Even so, in the last year and a half that we've lived at my parent's house, we've only gone out maybe half a dozen times. My parents are pretty hands off grandparents. They're old school "children should be seen and not heard, preferably not even seen" kind of grandparents. So even though DD is literally the easiest kid in the world to babysit, they make a huge drama out of it like they're doing us the biggest favour in the world by watching her. So you can imagine that asking them to babysit her AND a newborn is pretty much out of the question.

Last weekend, a very good friend of mine from high school got married and it was really important to me to be at the wedding. I knew that my parents wouldn't babysit, so I asked my brother and sister-in-law if they would. I asked them as soon as I got the invitation months ago so they'd have plenty of time to get used to the idea. I had two bottles of milk pumped and ready to go in the fridge, and I put him to bed before we left - I figured they could handle that, since Finn never wakes up before 3-4 in the morning, if he wakes up at all. I gave my SIL all the info she'd need just in case, but assured her that he wouldn't wake up. As soon as the ceremony was over, I checked my phone and there were 3 texts from my brother. Baby is awake. Baby won't go back to sleep. Baby won't take bottle. *sigh* I tried to enjoy the reception, while getting periodic texts from my brother about how Finn was crying and they couldn't get him to stop, and finally a text asking us to come home because SIL was stressing out and didn't know what to do. This was at 10:30. The wedding started at 8:30. Definitely not a resounding success.

Our 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up at the beginning of November. DH has a whole day planned, and I've really been looking forward to it...but after the wedding babysitting debacle, I don't see how I can possibly ask anyone in my family to watch Finn all day and all evening. I really can't afford to hire someone to babysit for the whole day and evening, and even if I could afford it, I don't know any babysitters. I'm frustrated and I'm bummed out. As a parent, when the baby won't stop crying you just keep trying different things to placate them, or you just deal with it and eventually they'll get tired and stop. There's no one to call to come take the baby from you when he won't stop crying, there's no one to bail you out. You just figure it out. But I guess for someone who's never had kids, like my brother and SIL, that's hard to deal with - especially when relief is just a phone call away.
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  #2  
September 30th, 2013, 03:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Cincinnati, OH
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Saying this just to make you feel better, not to sound mean about your brother and SIL: Wusses, lol. 2 hours?!? Oh, come on! Unless the kid was turning purple and blue or blood started shooting out of them somewhere I'd never call someone back from their precious time out.
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  #3  
September 30th, 2013, 08:07 PM
MissyBee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,388
I agree about not calling someone when they are out! I called a mom one time to come home when I was babysitting (and of course she never answered the phone & didn't come home until much later) because her very tiny baby was projectile vomiting (like literally across the room) and screaming like I had never heard a baby scream. (They later found out she had all kinds of tummy issues.) Otherwise you just deal with it!

I don't have any advice, but I hope you can figure something out!
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  #4  
September 30th, 2013, 09:04 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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We moved in with my parents when M was 4 months old and my parents are the same way. Well they are hands on, but my mom had this horror of the baby getting fussy with me not there. She never took a bottle. But I couldn't get away even for a 60 minute yoga class. She never took her at all until she was 9 months old. Eating tons of solid food AND it was an appointment with a rental agent to find our own place. She only took her overnight when we were in the hospital having G. We have never had an overnight. We do get a couple hours regularly (at least where they take M - I'm sure it will be many many months before they agree to take both kids for any length of time). It's not the greatest but it's enough right now. They do what they can and it's their right. Maybe I will be a b when I am a grandma to lol. "Sorry, your kid your problem."

I think if you are planning a big day, childcare expense has to be budgeted in. Plain and simple. Your family won't help, so just hire someone. If you can't afford the whole day, cut out some expensive activity and make up the shortfall.

If it helps, I don't even remember what we did for our 5 year lol. I don't really care about anniversaries.
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  #5  
October 1st, 2013, 02:33 AM
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Just wanted to send hugs. My Mom is actually the expert at calming Ellianna. My mom is not perfect but has a wonderful touch with babies.
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  #6  
October 1st, 2013, 06:43 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
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Two hours is a little nuts to be fed up already. My dad babysat my girls when Lily was 2 and Abri was 5 weeks (and crazy colicky) so we could go to a wedding. He never called us despite the fact that Lily had a poopy diaper (that he couldn't manage to change) and Abri screamed the whole time. He did call us the one time Abri fell and got a concussion and took an ambulance to the ER. That was fun.
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  #7  
October 1st, 2013, 11:02 AM
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This is so sad. My kids are really just an investment in grandchildren. I can't wait til I am old and can spoil them rotten before sendiing them back home.

My family is good with helping. DH's family....only want to hold her when shes sleeping and not fussy LOL
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  #8  
October 1st, 2013, 03:48 PM
jhmomofmany's Avatar Look! A Dancing Banana!
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Upper Michigan
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Well, I guess it's better that they told you to come get the kids, rather than risk losing their cool. We went years and years without being able to leave all the kids with anyone. It is hard finding a sitter for two little kids, impossible to find a sitter for five or six! Thanks be to God that I finally have enough teens that we can leave the kids on their own a couple of hours.

I don't know if maybe there are mom's groups in your area, or if you have a church you go to, or someplace else where you might start asking around for babysitters. It might be possible to trade babysitting with another family, or even change your plans to free up some money to hire somebody.
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  #9  
October 1st, 2013, 06:05 PM
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I'm so sorry.

We have yet to go out on a date night since the babies were born. If I leave them it's for work. I did go out to dinner last Friday and before that I left them one Sat with DH in early Sept to do some party shopping for SS's birthday. Other than that it's either they are with me or at the babysitter because I'm working.

I think its just hard for others to watch twins. Most don't want to do it. My friends...yea right. They give them back right away when they cry. Its frustrating because if I'm invited out somewhere and I go to feed one if I can't find a place to nurse them together then I need someone willing to calm down and keep the other occupied while I get the other settled. I've found that not many people are willing to do this. I just keep telling myself that it will get easier as they get older.

I do have to say that tomorrow is our 3 year anny and this weekend we are going out to dinner.
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  #10  
October 1st, 2013, 06:32 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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We have yet to leave Arthur with anyone, but we also live here by ourselves. I will be leaving him with my parents when I go to my reunion in 2 weeks, but they're really excited about it, since they haven't seen him in 3 months. We have a wedding next weekend, and he's coming with us. He goes to dinner with us every time we go out. I figure wherever we go, he can go too. I don't trust anyone enough to keep him.
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