[hopeful3853]

Hi! I'm new to this site and am completely addicted to everyone's journals and posts and thought, hey. Might as well start one myself. This may make the process a lot better.

So for starters, I'm Sara, my DH is Andrew and I'm 34. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have known each other for 8. My clock has been ticking for a baby for a VERRRY long time, but for one reason or another we haven't really started trying for a baby yet. The biggest hurdle has been that my husband and I weren't really on the same page about kids. Before we got married we both talked about it like of course we'd have kids. Then after marriage, our financial situation was really scary, then we got that under control, and then we made a move across country. Then I was telling myself, better to get settled and get a year under my belt at my job....etc. All this time my husband hasn't fully been on board and I was o.k. waiting for reasons stated above. If it happened, I know he'd be excited and step up to the plate, but he's been terrified of the idea. So. That meant that this would have to be a somewhat covert operation. Totally spontaneous without his knowing about any planning on my end. Let's just say, that plan has really not worked.

I started my covert operation about a year ago. My AF used to be textbook and ridiculously regular. Exacty 28 days almost to the hour. So I figured, I must O on the 14th. For a couple months we BD'd every day from CD10-CD14. Nothing. Then a lot of months trying not to obsess and just BDing a lot and not paying too close attention to the exact day. Nothing. Then we took a couple months off because we were really stressed about buying a house. And then one month I bought an OPK just to make sure I was O when I thought I was. And guess what! I got the "positive" CD17, 18, and 19! The weird thing is I have read online that typically you have 10 to 14 days after the O before you AF. But recently AF has arrived again on CD26. This past year I have noticed that my cycle isn't as regular as it was before. Now I am somewhere between 26-28 days and it varys month to month. The other thing I've noticed, is that I don't get EWCM much anymore. Not sure when that started happening exactly. But I'm getting a little freaked out that I've waited too long and that I'm going to have a %$#@ of a time getting preggers. (Already have had!)

So here's what's weird. The little EWCM I get is usually earlier - like around CD10-CD13. The time I would think I'd O. When I last saw my GYN for a pap last year she spotted some and said, "ooh. you're in the ZONE." knowing i wanted a baby. That was on CD10. But the OPK is telling me my O is around the 18th. And my cycle is more like 26 days now. Could the OPK be wrong? I used one just this past month and the target days were CD15,16, 17. I need to OPK consistently from month to month to see how it varies. I think I may O on different days every other month.

Whew! This is a long entry. Thanks for listening. So anyway, time to get to the bottom of my O and also get this show on the road! Good news is that my hubby and I have talked about this, and he's ready to *officially* start trying after New Year's. Yay! So I'm going to get serious about this and start charting everything that is going on - OPK, my temp, symptoms, CM, and BD. Any advice is welcome!! Hopefully this will help other people, too, with yet another statistic to add to the list! And I'm literally starting on Day 1.

TODAY: CD1. AF showed her face late afternoon with wrenching cramps and dissolved all hopes of being preggers. AGAIN.

[hopeful3853]

Well, yesterday I bought a digital thermometer and also ordered Pre Seed. We have been using saliva which I just found out could be a big problem! So let's see what happens with this... I am hopeful this may really help since I don't seem to be producing much EWCM. Hope it arrives in time, though!

Today is CD6, AF has pretty much left town, and tomorrow I will start tracking my temp...

[Banned-ms.crystal]

I wish you the best in your journey. I am in your shoes as well. Me and DH are going into our third month of TTC. Lots of baby dust to you!

[hopeful3853]

Thanks! Sending you baby dust, too!

CD7: temp 97.6

[hopeful3853]

stats thus far when I have temped at the same time ea. day

CD 9 97.0, CM dry, OPK negative
CD 10 97.0, CM dry, OPK negative
CD 11 97.2, CM very little but "sticky", OPK negative

Pre Seed came today - yay! in time! let the games begin! husband's eyes bugged out a little when he saw it on the counter, but didn't completely freak out - a very good sign for him! we'll see if we can get up early and BD tomorrow morning, but we're going to give it the old college try this weekend and hopefully all next next week... i have a sneaking suspicion that I will 'O' late this month... (that is if I 'O' for sure - let's hope)

[Banned-ms.crystal]

Did you guys like pre seed? I didn't really see a difference, but DH said he could really tell.

[hopeful3853]

well, had trouble getting out of bed this morning, so was running late and no BD. but i'll let you know tomorrow what it's like - we haven't used it before. i'm hopeful, though, it will really help, so we'll see!

[ttcmymiracle]

GL, your story is kinda like mine. I tried preseed and it works well but I didnt get a BFP when we used it. LOL. I hope you get your BFP soon though!!

[hopeful3853]

well, not much to report. CD 14, still totally dry, a little higher temp but not much, and OPK negative. i think i'm going to 'O' late this month... DH had to work this weekend and wasn't in the mood... but hopefully this is o.k. because i don't think i'm fertile now anyway. hope he comes on board, though, with me and will be willing to really try. argh.

[hopeful3853]

well, still no "O" according to FF. temp slowly rised a couple days ago, but no spike yet. had positive OPK CD 15 and 16, but back to negative today. maybe i "O'd" today. we'll see what my temp is tomorrow. i could swear i found a teeny tiny bit of EWCM on CD 15, but other than that, I have been as dry as a bone.

but the biggest news is that my DH is hesitating. we have not BD'd because every time i have initiated in the past 4 days, he has turned me down. we had talked about starting to try for real after the new year, but he is still scared. i haven't pushed him. of course, i only want a little one if he wants one, too. but i have to admit i almost cried the other day. man, we women have some major hormones men will never understand!! i seriously think most women are hard wired to being moms. anyway, we had a really good long talk about it and he told me that he wants to have children and is almost ready. we just bought a house two months ago after years of saving and dreaming and major financial struggles, so i think he still wants to enjoy that, get into the new bill paying rhythm and settle in before starting a family. i get that and think it is practical, but man, i've been waiting for YEARS for this and can barely wait any longer. and as we all know, no time is a good time and you are never really ready. i'm worried about getting older and really want two kids. i am an only child and have always wanted a brother or sister. i want my kids to have a friend and playmate, and the clock is ticking. but i have to keep life in perspective and not freak out. as my DH loves to tell me - women are having kids now in their 60's! i love him and our life together, but there is definitely a piece of my soul missing without children.

in the mean time, i will chart and see if i can understand my body a little better. DH is slightly freaked out by my temping every morning telling me he has never seen me get up this early/on time ever in his life! LOL. So i don't want to do this month after month. i'd love to get an idea of my rhythm, make an educated guess as to the best time and then leave it up to the Powers that be. but if i'm not preggo by this summer after at least 3-4 months of seriously trying, then i'm going to see a fertility specialist.

so here's to a success sometime in 2009! (and hopefully we'll be trying for real next month! i hope!)

[Anisah]

Hi,

Maybe if it freaks your husband out to see you temp every morning you can buy some cheap internet ovulation tests and just take them monthly in private. You can also start a journal with your symptoms during the month so when you do start officially trying you can feel in your body when ovulation is near.

This month I started using OPK's and the day before my positive OPK I tested several times because I was pretty crampy and tired. So I knew it was impending before the OPK confirmed it.

[hopeful3853]

yeah. i've been trying not to freak my dh out, and i want to try and relax and just let it happen. all the more reason why we both have to equally be on board! i wish my body would give me clear signals, but i can't feel anything like you can. i'm hoping to see some sort of pattern soon! baby dust to you!!!

[hopeful3853]

well, i know i'm out this month, but am sending baby dust to all!! just living vicarously through you guys. me and dh have had some great conversations. he's almost there. maybe next month. i'm going to keep charting through next month to see what patterns emerge if any. this month, according to fertilty friend i "O'd" on the 17th and today is DPO 26. just for the record when i go back and look at this, i started to spot very faintly tonight. hopefully AF will come Sunday DPO 28 or after and I can call myself normal with as 10-11 DPO. I'm just hoping that i'm ovulating normally since i'm getting no CM signs whatsoever.

i am hopeful to hear of some from you all very soon! sending everyone i love my dh so much and am praying he gets as excited about our future family as i am!!

here's to next month y'all!

[hopeful3853]

o.k. just for when i look back - got AF last night very late, so i'm saying today is CD1. last cycle ovulation was CD17, 10 days DPO, 28 day cycle. spotting only the day before, BBs got heavy 3 days before AF but not tender, and the usual bloat.

[hopeful3853]

well, today i'm starting another cycle! DH and I have had some great talks about it and he's almost on board. i'm hoping he'll be game this month. we had one of his friends over last weekend who just had a baby 4 months ago. He, too, was scared to have kids, and he and his wife had been trying for a year. They are the same age as us. anyway, i think it was helpful for DH to talk to his friend and find out how much he loves being a dad and also to realize that it might take us awhile and we are not having a baby tomorrow.

so last cycle FF couldn't detect my ovulation because my temps were pretty irregular. but i got a positive opk 16,17,18. it put crosshairs on 19 and then removed them. i'm pretty sure i got my O on 19. that means i had 10 days dpo again this month. actually, i think i'm somewhere between 9-10 days of dpo which i'm wondering if that is kind of short.

anyway, i'm not going to temp in bed anymore so that i don't freak out my dh. i'll do it in the bathroom and not worry about being totally accurate. i'm going to try and relax and just focus on us. see you guys in a couple of weeks and baby dust to all!

good luck. I hope you get your bfp soon.

[hopeful3853]

we're in this month! yay! dh is on board, although a bit nervous. i'm on cd 17, no O yet according to FF, we BD'd CD 16 and 17 and am looking forward to tomorrow! wish we had bd'd on the 15th, but DH got up really early. i had EWCM on CD 15, but still haven't O'd, so hopefully we still have some more time!

we have tried preseed and i love it! i really hope it helps. going to just try and relax, though, and assume nothing this month. but at least we are in the game! i'm so happy!

[hopeful3853]

well, i o'd on CD 17 - right on schedule. bd'd CD 16,17, and 18. i'm sure i'm not pregnant this month, but i hope we are officially over the hurdle of really deciding to TTC. going home to visit family next weekend and i'm not going to test until i get home and am officially a couple days late. probably will get AF, but am going to try my hardest not to think or obsess about things!

baby dust to all!! so excited to hear about those who got pregnant last month! best wishes!

[hopeful3853]

well, the wait *officially* begins... 7dpo. trying not to psyche myself out, but am feeling kinda shaky and achy. most likely because i'm working myself into the ground right now at work, though... my bbs feel pretty swollen, but then i get that occasionally a week before AF. she's due either thursday or friday and i've got to try and not think about it!! i'm going home tomorrow to visit family, so i hope that keeps my mind off things. either she'll arrive, or i'm making myself wait till i get back to test. and no spotting which usually starts about now. maybe some tomorrow...

baby dust to all!

[EstrellaTTC]

Good luck!! I hope you get your BFP! I've been waiting on AF to show her face since January, so I can start checking if i even ovulate