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My 36month TTC Journey (and tired of counting)


TTC Adventure

TTC Journals, Pictures Place, & TTC Grads

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  #101  
October 9th, 2010, 07:12 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,660
Girl who u tellin!
Well its 12dpo and 9pm at nite and AF has not showed her face. Im so scared to say anything cuz i might jinx it but its not here!!!!! It was expected today by 12 like it do everymonth and here it is 9 and she not here i am so excited but frightened at the same time. Im excited becuz this means my lp has gotten longer but it could also mean that i am pregnant. I dont know what to think. i been crampin for the past 2 days like she here. I never get cramps until her face shows and i keep runnin to the bathroom thinkin i am gone c her and nothing. i even put a pad on b4 i left for work and i just got out the shower checked my cervix it is short but i dont know it feels diffrent but i can never tell what i am feeling when i feel that thing. i havent ate anthing 2day i been feelin queazy all day breast been hurtin but i just cant let mymind think pregnancy. i am soo scared to take a test. i think i am just gone let it run its course if no period by monday i will take a teest. i went to the dollar store and bought 2 test but i am so scared to take them. i never been scared to take a test. i just dont want to see another bfn. i dont think my heart can take it. i aslo read that clomid can delay ya period so maybe thats whats up also. I am also wondering if FF got my O date wrong. so many things can be y it hasnt shown i just dont believe that pregnancy is one of them.
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  #102  
October 10th, 2010, 06:59 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Well i was right to not believe it cuz af showed this morning round 1030am i knew i wasnt preg. i just wasnt feeling it. i was hopin it i wont lie but i wasnt feeling it. Now i can move on to this cycle and i am so excited to do so.... I have a feeling bout this cycle. I got my fingers crossed! I started my cloverleaf and gone get my unicorn root n a few days. I cant w8! Well my body is sore from all the hard work. TTYL
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  #103  
October 11th, 2010, 09:31 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Ugh. Sorry! Maybe go for that endorphine-building walk, if cramps aren't getting you down too hard?
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  #104  
October 13th, 2010, 02:36 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Im not 1 who cramps really bad. i just am uncomfortable ya know. i feel more muscle aches then cramps. my butt muscle and thigh muscles hurt the most. especailly when i am on my feet all day. Well it is cd4 nothing really 2 report just spottin now off and on now just w8n to O dont know if i am goin to temp this month. :shrug: i guess time will tell
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  #105  
October 13th, 2010, 04:36 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: South Carolina
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Dang man, I feel my roller coaster car about to go down its last hill too. Atleast you can start your next cycle. Im READY to end this one AF COME ALREADY.
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  #106  
October 14th, 2010, 09:45 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Well its cd5 and no bleeding what so ever but my breast r hurting like crazy! I dont know y. it feels like somebody punched me in my boobs. Then i am starting to cramp also. I dont know what my body is doin but af is gone she left yesterday and i only spotted like twice only seen by wiping. I dont like this! I took my first clomid pill 2day. Oh and some1 told me to take my progesterone pill vaginally and its more effective. I will def try that this cycle. TTYL
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  #107  
October 19th, 2010, 07:59 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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whoa progesterone pill vaginally. Hmm worth a try I guess. We come up with all types of things to do when TTC...lol the things we can look back on!!!
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  #108  
October 21st, 2010, 08:52 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Hi all I am so happy to be back! They had a outage in my area and I could not get on the comp r watch my cable u know i been goin crazy. Well I am on cd12 i think and have not O'd yet. So w8n for that to happen already. I have not been stressing bout ttc this cycle havent even been tempin. Just gone take it one day at a time. I am really tryin to relax and just put it in the back of my mind but its so hard when its everywhere to remind u of what u dont have. O I wanna give a shout out to my girl Toya who got her bfp! so happy u totally derserve it! I guess its my turn right! I guess time will only tell. I am really tryn to find peace and just woo saah this. I must admit that i dont have pregnacy on the brain like b4. Now its like 75 percent lol.... Tuesday was DH bday. I got him a ps3 and he soooo loved it. I must admit it would have been nice to give him a bfp. That was my dream. Oh well he still enjoyed it. Well i am goin to c whats been up with every1 on JM who else got their bfp while i was gone. ttyl
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  #109  
October 22nd, 2010, 07:25 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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Sonica I thought about u the whole time you were gone. Thanks for the shout. Girl this cycle I felt the same I wasnt pressed. I was actually iritated that my cycle seemed to be off...lol so I took a test and BAM! Hubby was like...Thats real??? lmbo...uhm DUH!!! well I git my pic up if you like to see it.
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  #110  
October 22nd, 2010, 08:57 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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So happy for you Toya so happy!!!!
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  #111  
October 23rd, 2010, 09:11 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Well hello all my fellow readers. Today is not a good day. Yesterday i was psyched cuz i had some ewcm and felt o pains really thought i was gone O earlier then usual. I was thinkin there might be some hope after all even told hubby i was gone come home on my lunch break to bd cuz i just knew decided to take a opk and it was negative. I was so hurt! still is. I couldnt believe that it was negative. like my body geared up to O and then just stopped. how is that possiable. Well decided to bd just incase but was so not feelin it. Well 2day saw a lil ewcm and felt twinges took a opk and of course negative. i dont know y i was gettin my hopes up this cycle. I honestly feel like it wont ever happen. To make matters worse i got my reading back from gail another ttc predicter and she says: Linking in around you, I firstly sense alot of frustration and some sadness around ttc, although I feel you still have strong hope around this, and I feel you take comfort in the children you have

You have a spirit lady around you, I see her name starts with ma and she is showing a conception for March to April 2011, I feel thats not as soon as you would like, but this is the date she is showing me
I see a baby girl from this pregnancy and see everything is healthy and well

I feel this baby completes your family, and I see alot of happiness from children, home and relationship areas on your path

So to clarify I see 1 child ahead for you and wish you every happiness x

Love and Light
Psychic123uk


So not what i wanted to hear. I was at work on break when i heard that and just wanted to break down and cry. i wanted her to tell me that i will concieve this month. Even though i know that what she says might not be true it would have given me hope if she would have said this year! Then 2 make matters worse I fell at work so i wind up in the hospital and now i am on crutches. UGH I so hate my life rightnow. I just want a baby. I just want to be preg and i feel like it wont ever happen. Like some1 just took that part of being a woman from me. In the hospital i got asked like 3 diffrent times "is there a chance u could be preg" I just wished i could have said "yes" but i just sadly shook my head. I dont understand whats wrong with me. I dont understand y this is happening. I try not to think bout it but i just cant get it off my mind. I dream bout it 90 percent of the time and think bout it 100 percent of the time i am wake. I try to think bout other things but some how my mind just creep back to pregnancy. Gosh what can i do to make it stop! I dont even want to go any where cuz i am scared i am gone run n2 a preg woman or c a baby. I just sit there and stare. I dont know whats wrong with me. Obsessed is a perferct word for it. My children is whats gettin me through this my husband also but i feel like its make me push him away cuz i feel like he thinks i am not a good wife by not givin him a child of his own. I never thought i would be in this situation. IDK its crazy hmm im crrazy. TTyl
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  #112  
October 24th, 2010, 09:21 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Well another day and have not O'd.... *sigh*
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  #113  
October 25th, 2010, 12:50 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
(((H.U.G.S))) girl, you will definitely O soon. Those OPKs arent ALWAYS right. Just BD as much as posible. And you might find comfort in it...but I personally wouldnt put stock into those predictions. Maybe this cycle is your cycle. Sorry to see that you're crutches. I know that sucks. I will most definitely pray for you. Hopefully He'll do me one more and bless you with your BFP soon.
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  #114  
October 25th, 2010, 07:43 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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thanx toya. Well another day and still no indication that i have O'd. I swear that after this cycle i am so goin to ntnp. I am just gone stop the herbs stop obsessin where i am in this cycle. start excersing. I def needs to do that. Join a gym again. Me and hubby can stand to loose 45 to 50 lbs. Thats my goal for next year! Then we can start this ttcin again when we loose at least 50 lbs. thats a bet!!!!! Hmm I can do that. I had no problems with concievin when i was under 200 pounds. I just didnt want to start loosin weight and then get preg and gain it right back but i think its time. I really do! Get myself healthy so i can have a healthy baby!
I dont know what my body is doin this cycle cuz i been havin O pains and ewcm since cd 10 and here it is cd 16 and still negative opks and then on top of that i had a rise in temp but not that big of a rise but i guess i will c in the am when i wake if it still is high and if so maybe i did O but that will suck cuz i havent bd since cd 13 and i know i missed my window if I o'd. Well time will tell. I so cant w8 til this cycle is over with TTYL
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  #115  
October 26th, 2010, 06:21 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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So I thought I would wake up to r should i say i hoped i woke up to a temp rise and nope it was a bfd (big fat dip) I dont understand what my body is doin but I give up I am throwin in the towel...
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  #116  
October 26th, 2010, 09:14 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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I guess i shouldnt have given up so easy cuz I just got my positive opk! yay!!! I feel so much better. I had been crampin soooo bad on the left side. It even hurted when i used the bathroom so i just knew this was diffrent. Told hubby to stop and get me some opk's took it and BAM :BFP: So excited not much ewcm though i think i just saw a smudge. So i wonder if i will have a temp rise 2moro that would be nice which would put me at 1dpo. Well here we go my 2ww wish me luck
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  #117  
October 27th, 2010, 07:42 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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Sonica...Gurl I hope you're right behind me with your BFP. I need to start my pregnancy journal...((sighs)) the laziness.
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  #118  
October 27th, 2010, 09:20 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Yes Toya the laziness.... I keep comin on here wantin to read the start of your journal but u havent been on here in 2 days... whats up with that?

Well I woke up to a nice rise n my temp this morning.... YAYYYYYYY i am so excited so today officially put me at 1dpo. I have been wantin to hear them words for the longest. I hope this is my month like all the predictions indicated but if not its ok. I still think i am goin to get there by the end of the year r maybe even next year when i start my get healthy plan. Well wish me luck ladies.... 1dpo
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  #119  
October 28th, 2010, 02:36 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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no excuse i just keep randomly falling asleep. Ugggh! I hate it I feel like a zombie. But Imma use my hubby phone and do it tonight. I dont feel like putting up with this wii wand today. I hope this is your month.
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  #120  
October 29th, 2010, 10:26 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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What happen Toya I was comin on thinkin i was gone see the start of your preg journal. I know that the beginning of preg can be so draggin feelin so tired all the time so i will cut u some slack.
Well the good knews ladies i got my cross hairs. i am officially 3dpo. The only thing i have noticed is that my breast is startin to hurt and i used the bathroom alot but cant be esp this early! O and yesterday i had heartburn and i hadnt even eatin anything. Then once i did i felt like it was gone come up any second. We went out to eat to celebrate the kids doin wonderful on thier report cards and i barely ate what was on my plate hubby was like oooh might be preg. lol he so silly. Then i was watching maid in mahattan and started cryin when Jlo started tryin on those dresses. a hot mess! i think my hormones r all over the place. Well i just came back from the dr they told me light duty and physical therapy for my knee. They said to go back to work 2day but iam not goin in. i will return Monday. Im droppin my kids off to New orleans to c my mom and brothers. They wanna trick or treat with their uncles theyl said. oh well i am off this weekend so i plan on just chillin with hubby and cleanin cuz since i been injured my house is not "clean" u know how it is when a man cleans they dont "clean" like us women do. lol.... Aw i miss my hubby. i wish he was here to hold me i feel like cuddlin and that is not somthing i like to do... lol... well iam goin to take a nap until the kids get off then pack thier bags get hubby from work and on the road we go..... TTYL
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