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  #41  
November 2nd, 2010, 07:29 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Did WO 1. Yay. It was good, and I'm okay now, but what with the lunges plus AF cramps I am going to be nicely sore tomorrow!

Thanks, Kiwimum! Quite a compliment.

Okay. The hair. I use 2 Tbs of baking soda, add water a few drops at a time in a shallow plastic cup until it makes a toothpaste-like paste with my fingers. Then I rinse in the shower, get my head quite wet at the roots, squeeze the length out and pull a wide tooth comb through it gently so it's easy to part and section off. I don't use clips, but you can if it's easier. My hair is about bra strap length, mostly straight naturally, so I don't know if it would be easier to do this with curly hair by clipping it as you go. I just use my fingers to part it several times at the top of my head and add a little paste with my fingertips, then keep going down my scalp. Then I give it a light but thorough scrub all over the scalp with fingers, make sure it's spread all over and any flaky skin is rubbed loose. Then I rinse well.

The vinegar is apple cider vinegar. The cheap kind you get in a gallon at Walmart, nothing fancy. 2 Tbs in a full plastic cup of warm water (not hot), and I pour it over the length of the hair, avoiding the top of my scalp where it gets oily soonest. My husband just dumps it all on top, though, and likes it best like that. You can use 2 Tbs of lemon juice if you find the acv is too moisturizing. I let this sit for a minute, rub it a little to make sure residue is loosened from the hair shaft, and then again rinse well.

That's it! At first, I was adding a little coconut oil to the tips of my hair to counter the dryness I've had for years. 6 weeks of no shampooing and I find I don't need this anymore! I still do it once a week just to be sure to keep the ends smooth and prevent possible breaking. Oh, and I seldom blow dry my hair. You can, the bs/acv doesn't make using appliances or products impossible at all, but I just find that even as long as my hair is it's happier without being blown dry. It actually has more body and less frizz with the 'no poo'. I do find that the first couple of hours after washing it smells a little of vinegar. That goes away pretty quickly, and you can't tell unless you actually lean in to smell my head, but I sometimes rub a drop or two of an essential oil (rosemary, orange...) into the length and just comb through. Works like a charm.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #42  
November 3rd, 2010, 09:58 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
OH my goodness, what a night! Well, morning, more precisely. Stupid'o'clock in the morning. AF started yesterday, but as is typical the cramps and heavy flow don't hit hard until day 2. Which happened at about 3AM. It says a lot for me to be woken up by it, as I will usually toss about a bit but still sleep through it. I was up like a rocket with a hangover, and after several trips to the bathroom to bleed upright while sitting on the loo (lying down makes the cramps worse for me) and about 45 minutes later, I begged my husband to find me drugs. "What kind, honey?" "Yes! All of it!" He didn't give me the requested overdose, but after another 30-45 minutes of tossing and moaning pathetically we finally got back to sleep.

I am so very thankful that the girls are having a good morning today! I mopped the floor while they watched a Kipper show, and then tossed them outdoors along with the cats to play for a while. My honey is home today, out somewhere doing house chores, and he's keeping an eye on me. But I might have to put him to bed with the children this afternoon! Poor man. I kept him awake a lot last night!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #43  
November 3rd, 2010, 11:00 AM
kiwimum's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baddeck, Nova Scotia
Posts: 630
Thanks for the recipe, I'm not sure if you said how often you do this at the start, every other day?

Sounded like a rough night, oh boy! hope you get a better night's sleep tonight.
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  #44  
November 3rd, 2010, 11:29 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Do as needed. If you need it every day to start with, do it. Your scalp will adjust in time and produce less oils.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #45  
November 4th, 2010, 06:31 AM
kiwimum's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baddeck, Nova Scotia
Posts: 630
Thanks, have to get some baking soda today.
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  #46  
November 4th, 2010, 01:09 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Ooohhhhhhhh. I'm finally home!

This morning I dropped off my honey at work, came home and ate and cleaned up a bit, then left the house at 10 to do some errands. It is 1pm and I'm just home. I was driving home and realized my hands were shaking like autumn leaves ready to drop... In merely 3 hrs about town I was already on my 3rd pad -- stopped by honey's work a couple of times for that -- and I felt icky again, and shaking from hunger. I hate when AF does this to me. I feel exhausted.

So what did I do? I did a highly, highly unusual thing for me. I never ever do this! I stopped at McDonald's. Really. Yikes! But after a plain burger and half a small milkshake I was able to drive home, so now I'm sitting for a few minutes before unloading the car.

I will have to placate my conscience with some fruit salad later!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #47  
November 6th, 2010, 11:56 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
AF cramps were a doozey this month. Tuesday clear through Thursday gave me heavy and cramps, and that's rather unusual. Not typically heavy and painful for that long! But now (Saturday) I'm on my 2nd day of spotting, so we're nearly done! Even got to BD this morning before honey went to work.

Need to keep up on my vitamins, fresh fruit/veg, and Emergen-c over the next few weeks. Honey has been suffering from a cold this week, so I need to make extra sure I don't come down with something, or even just have to work harder while staying well. Not a fan of Emergen-c's.... But they work! Grin and bear it!

Watching a toddler today, little boy, for just a one off. I probably won't ever have him again, as his dad is from out of town and was just here for a conference at my church today. Poor kid is pretty well behaved and cheerful, but it's tough being left with a stranger and no other kids to play with. And he's not used to cats. Good thing mine are very unfussed with children and new people, and are quite happy to either sit in a new kid's lap or be left alone! They don't even bother hiding or using claws anymore, so he's doing pretty well with them now. I've also never seen a toddler so glued to the TV... Not in a bad way! His dad told me to put on a VeggieTales if he gets too cranky before lunch/nap, and he is now sitting perfectly still on a cushion and watching every moment of this show! Amazing.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #48  
November 6th, 2010, 02:43 PM
kiwimum's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baddeck, Nova Scotia
Posts: 630
Good idea sounds like his comforter. Glad you done from the old witch AF, you get it so bad, I'm a lot older so it may settle more with 'old age' I don't get bad periods and last up to 4 days, thats the best one as I was worry last previous 2 cycles that I wasn't getting much at all
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  #49  
November 8th, 2010, 06:53 PM
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Honey and I BD'd as soon as the girls were picked up, then had egg fried rice for dinner. (Love that meal... So easy, so simple, so yummy and balanced!) Then he took off to help some friends with heavy moving/lifting this evening, so I decided to get off my lazy bum and do the workout I should have done this afternoon! Yay me, I got it done today.

Monday 8 Nov

Workout 2: chest and legs

warm up and stretch

abs:

1 crunch 

1 butt lifts 

1 crunch 

1 butt lifts

1 lower back hyper-extension

1 pushups 

1 chest press 

1 chest flie
1 squat 

1 standing abduction (side leg lift)

1 lower back hyper-extension 

1 pushups

1 chest press

1 chest flie
1 squat 

1 standing abduction 

1 split squat

1 lower back hyper-extension 

1 pushups

1 chest press 

1 chest flie
1 squat 

1 standing abduction 

1 split squat

5 mins cool down and stretch
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible

Last edited by PurpleTurtle; November 9th, 2010 at 04:59 PM.
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  #50  
November 9th, 2010, 08:50 AM
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OW! in a good way today. Sore pectorals! Wow I'm weak compared with what I used to lift... Okay, I was never into heavy lifting, but pressing 10lb dumbbells last night made me sweaty and shaky, where once upon a time 20lb each hand would have caused that much strain!

Tuesday 9th Nov

30 min walk with girls in the stroller.

evening run around the block right after the girls left -- barely shy of 1 mile.

surprisingly not as sore as i expected... but having round ligament pain on the right side. thankfully not when i just ran, but walking earlier was incredibly painful. almost didn't walk as far as i did, and for most of the walk i was suppressing a limp... not sure what's up with that. going to arnica and heat pad the area tonight, and stretch out.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible

Last edited by PurpleTurtle; November 9th, 2010 at 04:59 PM.
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  #51  
November 12th, 2010, 03:27 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Friday 12th Nov

Did my WO3

Workout 3: back and biceps
warm up and stretch
abs: 

1 dead bug

30 sec plank 

1 swimmer’s move

1 bent over rowes (mid-back) 

1 bicep curls 

1 bent over rowes 

1 bicep curls 

1 hammer curls (bis, different grip)

1 backwards lunge 

1 swimmer’s move

1 bent over rowes (mid-back) 

1 bicep curls 

1 bent over rowes 

1 bicep curls 

1 hammer curls (bis, different grip)

1 backwards lunge
1 superman 


1 alternating arm and leg lift (30 sec both sides) 

1 raised knee glute squeeze

1 alternating arm and leg lift (30 sec both sides) 

1 raised knee glute squeeze

Cool down.



I have HORMONES. I cried last night watching movie 'Karate Kid'. I feel like crying right now for a really silly reason -- yet another friend had her baby girl 10 days ago, posted pics online, and she deleted the comment I made. Wasn't rude or unkind. So I'm feeling a bit annoyed with myself as well as emotional because I'm reacting so strongly to everything the least bit sad.

I'm also feeling the baby blues today. Not O'd yet, expecting to on Tuesday. Just feeling..........so tired of it being everyone else's turn! Tired of being happy for them, being the bigger woman. My husband and I got married January '08. In May my SIL announced they were having their first baby. I was instantly jealous, but we were preventing for at least a year, or until we bought our own house (we were renting at the time). Then I got pregnant in '09, a surprise. He wasn't too happy about it because we hadn't fully closed on our house yet, but I was thrilled. Ever since then, I have been waiting to be a mother and have had no child of my own. We weren't TTCing the whole time but my heart has been waiting nonetheless, and I am just plain tired. I hate this.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #52  
November 12th, 2010, 03:45 PM
kiwimum's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Baddeck, Nova Scotia
Posts: 630
I hear ya! Chin up girl and lets get ready for the big day! remember to breath and relax.
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  #53  
November 14th, 2010, 12:06 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Saturday 13 Nov

45 min power walk up and down neighborhood hills
WO1 with weights
Good nutrition today.


Sunday 14 Nov

Day off workouts, allowed chocolate but still good nutrition and low carbs. Plenty of water.
Feel like I'm fighting a head cold.

Got EWCF starting today. Not very long stretch yet, but definitely EW.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #54  
November 16th, 2010, 09:47 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Monday 15 Nov

No workout... I was bad. I was also sore, and really tired from weekend lack of sleep! Oops. Not even my honey did his training last night. We had amazing BD and I fell asleep shortly before 9.
No girls today, they needed a Tues-Thur week instead.
Good nutrition.


Tuesday 16 Nov

Got the kids today. "Katy" is being quite challenging! Baby sis turned 2 yesterday, and she is cutting molars... So she's having all the fun effects of teething. All of them. Poor kid!
I can't do WO2 until they're down for nap this afternoon, so will post then once I've done it. This is my promise to myself that I will!

........Okay, I did it! WO2, as before, but feeling stronger with it. The girls slept long today so I was able to get the whole thing done while watching a movie, and then do some chores after. Quite pleased. I have one singing student tonight, but my honey is off to his martial arts class (Aiki Sho Ryu) from 6.30-9 so I'm home alone anyway. Been good with my nutrition today, even in the pre-dinner snack stage right now I'm drinking tea with no sweetener and am not reaching for the carbs or the chocolate. It does take a few days of discipline, but my appetite is starting to remember the healthier options I used to be obsessed with in college. (Don't want to go back to that unhealthy mental state I was in 5 years ago, but the habits stood me in good staid, have to say. Finding the groove again isn't as tough as I expected it to be.)





RANT! I'm not greatly upset, no tears. I'm starting to feel pretty numb over the whole thing these days, less flapped by small things, but something this morning did set me off a bit. I figured that here would be less offensive than posting directly on the chat...

There was a comment made by one lady about how she hates to hear stories from women who have miscarried at 10 weeks, how it doesn't compare to stillbirth, or live birth and early infant loss. She is right -- it doesn't compare. So how dare she say that I, a mother who has lost both my babies to miscarriage, have less right to grieve openly! It really hurt to read that. My children were alive, real, valid, human. I have every right to grieve their loss for the rest of my life. There is not a day that passes when I do not think of each of them with pain. The shorter length of my pregnancies does not dull, invalidate, or belittle the loss of those lives.

The insensitivity of such an individual, to try to make my loss smaller and my babies less valuable due to their smaller size, speaks of their lack of true understanding and compassion. It's like saying that one person's parent dying at the age of 80 is less painful, or should be less painful, than another parent's death at 50. No! Father God measures the heart. We should not presume to perceive the depth of grief according to circumstance or relationship.

Psalm 46
GOD is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall...

Isaiah 54
Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her her who has a husband, says the Lord.

Isaiah 44
This is what the Lord says -- he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen. For I will pour out water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground. I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible

Last edited by PurpleTurtle; November 16th, 2010 at 04:23 PM.
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  #55  
November 19th, 2010, 02:05 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Throwing in my FAM charting in a nutshell explanation, because it seems to keep popping up and I need to know where it it easily!!

I learned with book "Taking Care of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I highly recommend it, can't stress that enough! Best idea would be for you to buy your own copy. Not expensive, especially when you compare it's lifelong value against the cost of contraceptives or ovulation predictor kits. Fertility Friend .com is a good help, too, but does not cover FAM learning or troubleshooting as clearly and thoroughly as this book. I have the basic freebie account as a backup in case I lose my hard copies of charts.

This website will get you started in the meantime. Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting


Basically, you need to keep a chart recording up to 3 things:
1. Cervical fluid (otherwise known as cervical mucous, CM, which is not as nice sounding as fluid!)
2. Basal Body Temperature
3. (optional) Cervical Position

1. After your period (AF), you need to start noting the quality of your cervical fluid each day. It will follow a pattern from dry to egg white fertile quality at ovulation, and then dry up again. The pattern is as follows:


Cervical Fluid Description Accompanying vaginal sensation


(Menstruation) Day one: always the first day of red flow, not of spotting


Nothing/Dry (D) No cervical fluid present Dry


Sticky (S) Pasty, tacky, crumbly, gummy, springy, dry like rubber cement. Usually white or yellow. Dry or sticky


Creamy (C) Lotiony, milky, smooth. Usually white or yellow. (Semen looks similar to C, but will dissolve in water or dry quickly on a fingertip while C holds together.) Wet, moist, gooey, or cold


Slippery and/or Eggwhite (EW) Slippery, will often stretch. Clear, streaked, or opaque. (Arousal fluid looks similar to EW, but will dry quickly on a fingertip and will not stretch as true EW does.) Wet, lubricative, slippery, or humid.


Nothing/Dry or Sticky No cervical fluid present, or sticky. Dry or sticky


(Menstruation)


Sperm cannot survive in a dry vagina while waiting for the egg to appear for fertilization. It requires fertile quality cervical fluid to live in, and swim up. EW, the most fertile fluid, appears just before ovulation, and microscopically looks rather like spaghetti that helps the swimmers swim straight up the cervix.

You need to record the most fertile quality fluid you find in a day. If you wake up dry but become creamy by evening, record creamy. Check your fluid the same way each time. I check mine by simply observing the tissue after urinating. If you are new to this, you may want to feel your fluid on your fingers to really get the hang of quality changes. You can also reach a little way up inside and pull some out between two fingers, but if you start charting this way you should stick to it through the entire cycle.

If you are trying to conceive, have intercourse (Baby Dance) as much as you can from Creamy through Eggwhite, especially during EW. If you are preventing, this is the time you will need to abstain or use a condom or other contraception, until your temperatures have a sustained thermal shift for 4 full days to confirm ovulation has passed.

2. Your waking temperature should be taken at a consistent time from day to day, after at least 3 hours of unbroken sleep, and first thing upon waking before doing anything else. Don’t get out of bed and take it in the bathroom, or even take a drink of water first! Measure to the 1st point but round the second down. For example, if your temperature on waking is 96.87, you chart 96.8.

Your temperatures follow a two phase pattern. Between menstruation and ovulation, temperatures are low. After ovulation in the luteal phase (LP), they jump higher. When you look at the month as a whole, you will see two groups of temperatures.

The thermal shift is indicated by the horizontal line drawn on the graph. The line is placed one tenth of a degree above the previous 6 temperatures. The vertical line shows the day ovulation happened, and can not be placed precisely until 4 days after ovulation, because 4 days of sustained high temperatures are required for a pattern to be set. The “peak day”, O day, is defined because, although it may or may not be the last day of cervical fluid showing, it is the last day of EW with a thermal shift following the next day.

My LP is almost always 13 days. Your LP will be the same length, give or take a day occasionally, from month to month, even though the first half of your cycle (from bleed to O) may vary widely. If you know your LP is usually 12 days long and AF has not showed up at day 16, you could take a pregnancy test. But if your LP is usually 16 days long, it’s not really worth testing until day 18 or 20.

BBT shows you after the fact when ovulation has occurred. This is why cervical fluid is the most important single FAM charting thing to note if you are trying to prevent pregnancy, or achieve it.


3. Cervical position is the one I don’t bother with. I actually find it very hard to feel my cervix, I don’t want to ask my husband to try every day, and I successfully prevented pregnancy for a year without it! But for your info… There are two ways your cervix can feel. 

Not fertile -- Firm like the tip of your nose, Low, Closed, Nonwet 
(I say nonwet rather than dry, because the inside of a healthy vagina always has some moisture present.)
Fertile (around ovulation -- Soft like your lips, High, Open, Wet -- SHOW!
So if your cervix is “showing” it is time to BD! 
After ovulation, then it becomes not FLCN again. 
Don’t bother checking your cervix if you have soreness or infection. It will be sore! And you probably won’t be BDing anyway.


Troubleshooting:
Outlying temperatures: The odd day in the follicular phase might have a temperature above the cover line, but goes by “rule of thumb”. Occasionally you might have a temperature that is high in the first phase, and might be due to reasons such as fever or illness, insomnia, taking it earlier or later than usual, or alcohol the previous evening. Just ignore these when placing your crosshairs. You are looking to graph the overall pattern, not fine details.

I wish I could get links to my chart to work, but I can't...so I will have to explain. No clear thermal pattern is seen on an anovulatory chart. No true EW, even though cervical fluid attempted it and achieved watery Creamy non-stretchy quality. The chart I am looking at while I write this is mine, in the cycle immediately following a miscarriage, so you can understand why it is longer than my usual cycles (28-29 days), heavier menstrual flow, and no ovulation occurred. It is still considered normal, however, for a healthy woman to have the occasional anovulatory cycle, especially past the age of 35. Since one cannot truly recognize anovulation until afterwards, for contraception during anovulation a secondary contraceptive (such as condoms) must still be used during all cervical fluid that approaches fertile quality.

Short luteal phase: If your LP is consistently less than 10 days long, you might have a luteal phase defect. This is usually very easy to fix with medical help. See your OBGYN.

Lots of S/C and possibly EW but no thermal shift: anovulation, or stress. Stress, in the form of illness or travel, sudden weight changes, work or home life, or even your mother-in-law coming to visit, can affect your cycle in such a way to delay ovulation. Ovulation may still occur, but your cycle will be lengthened by how long it takes to reach ovulation. Your body will typically avoid ovulating during a time that is laden with other stresses already. If anovulatory or badly delayed cycles become the norm for you, again, seek medical advice.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible

Last edited by PurpleTurtle; January 9th, 2011 at 12:16 PM.
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  #56  
November 28th, 2010, 03:37 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Busy week! Actually, more than a week. I've been posting on the forum, though, just not here. Was ill last weekend and then Thanksgiving holiday stuff happened.

Well, I am 11 DPO today, and I swore to myself that I wouldn't do this but my husband encouraged me... We picked up a couple of dollar store pregnancy tests on the way home from church this morning, and I held my urine for a while this afternoon and took one. It was negative. So.... Well, I guess that's it.

But I have to confess, I just looked back to my 2nd pregnancy chart. I got a negative test on 11 DPO, and then positive tests on DPO 16, 18 and 23, positive blood test on DPO 22, and an ultrasound confirmation DPO 25 before I miscarried. There is a small part of me that says "you know day 11 was early, just stick it out and hopefully the dreaded period doesn't show up".
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #57  
December 1st, 2010, 02:45 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,659
Hey!!! Its been a minute since i visted your journal but wanted to check up on u and see how u r doing. U really doin that work out huh. have u kept up with it over the holidays. I am so sorry for your losses I too lost at 10weeks and its as devastatin as loosin at 9 months a loss is a loss. U grieve anything that u love who is to put a time frame or age limit on how u grieve. Sorry bout the bfn but have u tested since....
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Thanks bonnie for my siggie

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  #58  
January 7th, 2011, 03:29 PM
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Posts: 1,031
I had an unexpected job offer this morning. I'd applied about a month ago, had heard that they'd hired someone else, but the person didn't work out and they called me and offered me the position.... I did take it. Nervous! Change makes me nervous, and I've been doing the nannying thing for a while now so I'm more used to sitting on the floor in bleach-stained clothing than looking professional enough for a law firm. That's where it is -- local law firm, and I'm the new part-time morning office clerk. Paper pusher and odd body, but it pays more than childcare for one family.

I gave the mom 2 weeks notice today. She wasn't happy about it. And I will be very sorry to not be seeing those sweet girls anymore, I have to admit.

Not sure where TTC fits into this new job, really, except that we're on cycle 5, been waiting and trying and feel like we're getting nowhere, and this job doesn't pay exceptionally but it will actually allow us to save up a bit for stuff we'd need for a baby. Like a new car! Ours doesn't fit child seats. I'm hoping that this new job also provides me with some alternative focus to children and family. Caring all day for someone else's babies has been growing harder in some ways since I still don't have my own to lavish love on. And wearing sweat pants every day isn't exactly the type of thing to make a girl want to get dressed and look nice. Some days I haven't even brushed my teeth until shortly before lunch... So my honey thinks this will be good for me on that level, too. I hope so.

Very much feeling the afternoon slump. Going to change into workout gear and go for a walk before picking up the man from his work. I've not been very good at keeping up with this lately.... Had 2 excruciating periods that gave me cramps over a week long, plus found out on Christmas morning that I wasn't pregnant, and I kinda lost motivation for a while! Trying to get back on it.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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