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purpleturtle's ttc journal 1


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  #1  
September 25th, 2010, 04:56 PM
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i've been floating around this site for a while now, introduced myself here and there but never got any response. so i guess this journal is mostly for my own sake.

i just turned 26 this month, september 2010. my honey and i have two babies in heaven, and two 5 month old kittens at home with us -- decided to just get them, as the kids first idea wasn't working out too well! as of today, saturday september 25th, i am on CD 21 and i ovulated 6 days ago. i'm currently using progesterone cream during the luteal phase. no diagnosis as to a luteal phase defect, but a herbalist i saw last week for acupuncture recommended i start using half doses to up my chances this time. you know, weight the dice!

my husband and i conceived our first baby while trying to prevent. i had just come off the pill as it was causing major bleeding problems, and it was our first month of fertility charting, and i wasn't fully on my game... plus we'd been away for a romantic weekend, and since neither of us are particularly thrilled about condoms we thought, heck, what are the chances just once? well, i guess they were high! i got pregnant, carried our baby for 14 weeks, and then miscarried at the end of august 2009. we then deliberately tried again, and in the first month after the dr gave us the go-ahead to try again i conceived...and then miscarried at just under 6 weeks at the beginning of december.

so we went back to preventing. fertility charting with condoms during ovulation week, and this time my body wasn't screwed up from the pill and we've been able to prevent very successfully.

we just decided about a month ago that we wanted to stop preventing. my honey has for the last year of preventing been very clued up on my charts, even puts in my temperatures for me, so our new "not trying not preventing" is more for him than me. i'm still charting, so i still know exactly what's going on. i figure that if we lose another baby i want to have charts to show a dr just in case. besides, i don't ovulate every month, so if i have a long cycle i don't want to get my hopes up for no reason.

i'm trying not to get my hopes up too much since this is only the first month of not preventing... but i really am hopeful! my temps run low (in 96.'s pre-ov, and 97.'s post-ov), and i actually hit 98.0 this morning so it's hard not to analyze it as being good. it's really only 1 day of an extra high temperature.

last night we went for a stroll around the block, after dinner in the dark, and talked about how old our kids have to be before we do things, such as sleepovers, first pocketknife, first razor. it was good for my heart to talk with my honey about this stuff like we used to.

Last edited by PurpleTurtle; September 28th, 2010 at 09:15 AM.
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  #2  
September 26th, 2010, 06:17 PM
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So today is Sunday. Amazing time directing kid's show choir this afternoon at church. But not a particularly restful day. The girl I am a bridesmaid (bridesmatron?) for in 2 weeks was in a flap over the phone earlier. The dress she ordered me from China is quite a bit too small, and they are trying not to give her a refund... Of course, not enough time for an alteration at this point! I'm glad that my chart is not reflecting stress this time, and I did clearly ov last Sunday. Yay.

And my temps went down this morning. Okay, not down to the coverline, but I was amazingly at 98.0 yesterday, and today was 97.3. Sigh. I do run low, but I was kinda hoping that my temps going a little higher was a good thing! I guess we shall see if AF arrives in another 9 days!
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  #3  
September 27th, 2010, 11:46 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
Hi Jeanie glad to c u made a journal and so sorry bout your losses. I know its discouragin when u get a drop like that in your temp but if u not below the cover line then u r fine. remember alot of things can affect temps so dont give up hope just yet. gl
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  #4  
September 28th, 2010, 01:13 AM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,568
hey there. I hope you get your sticky bfp. Do you use
Ovulation Calendar and Ovulation Chart - Fertility Charting it can be a very helpful sight.
I am Nayomi by the way.
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  #5  
September 28th, 2010, 08:38 AM
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Thanks, ladies. That's encouraging.

I've actually been FAM charting since May '09 -- even through the 2 losses -- and I keep both hard paper copies and the online record at the FF site. Sometimes I don't quite agree with FF's analysis, though...! They have said sometimes I haven't ovulated when I know I have, because I know my body's rhythms and idiocyncrasities pretty well. I learned to chart from Toni Weschler's book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", and I know a midwife in town who teaches her method.

Yesterday and today (Tues) I am at 97.5, so that's a little better.

Actually, it looks like we might be changing my insurance policy to one that has better options for maternity problems like I've had, in which case I need to NOT be pg yet, and can prove it, at the time of registering for the new one... Chuckle. The Lord Jesus is reminding me this morning to keep a sense of humor, and know that He is able where I am not!

I have a confession... I've gone a little crunchy granola lately. I have not washed my hair in 6 days!

Um.... Well, that's not strictly true. I haven't shampooed it in 6 days. I have used a combination of baking soda on the roots and apple cider vinegar through the length. It's called "no pooing". (Ick.) Sounds rank, doesn't it? It's actually not that bad! My hair does feel different. I'm used to having to saturate it with oils and conditioners after every wash, so this feeling of having smooth, clean looking, heavier hair that suddenly doesn't require a ton of extra oil to survive is pretty weird still! Research I've done (I'm a googler) tells me that my scalp has been producing too much oil because I've been shampooing it avidly for so long -- which explains my oily roots and dry, dry, dry length. Also, that it will take some time, weeks or months, for my body to readjust and produce less oil now that I'm not shampooing it all out, which means I might start to look like a grease monkey... (Ick again.) Day 6 so far, and really not bad. I've done the baking soda and vinegar rinses about every 2 days and I don't look greasy yet. Just feels...well, different. I admit, though, I am missing the feeling of bubbles!
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  #6  
September 29th, 2010, 03:26 PM
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Hmmm. 98.1 this morning.

The older girl I look after (4yrs) is playing Jekyll and Hyde on me today. I caved and let her watch a movie between lunch and nap... Seldom do I ever do that! It was self preservation!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #7  
September 30th, 2010, 05:51 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
wow 6 days without washing hair sound interesting. Gl with that! Your temp from yesterday sounds promising. what dpo r u on?
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  #8  
September 30th, 2010, 10:16 AM
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11 DPO today. Temps just dropped below cover line this morning, at 96.8.

This might be a shorter luteal phase than usual for me, by a day or two. I usually get spotting on DPO 13, then day one starts the next day. Temps don't often drop before spotting starts... We'll see. Not fretting about it.

Looks like AF is due after all, but I think that might be a good thing. It's the insurance switch. Dates from my last cycle need to match up as proving I was definitely not pg at the time of signing up for new coverage. If they do, I'll have a lot of coverage w/ new deal, which is good because of my previous maternity history. If they don't prove I wasn't pg... We pay the entire thing. So... Not sure at this point, depends on how quickly we can get paperwork pushed through, but my honey and I might prevent next month and go back to TTC in November, just to be safe! *Sigh, and a wry smile* Yes, I'm listening, Lord. Your timing.

Oh, and the hair thing is still good. You'll hear how long I can stick it out before I give in and shampoo!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #9  
September 30th, 2010, 06:25 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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I got to hold a precious 4 day old baby today... Our friends just had their 5th baby, and I was taking the older 4 kids off their hands for the afternoon. You know, allow mom and dad to sleep a bit!

Ohhhhh, he was gorgeous. I was a little afraid to hold him. Emotionally afraid -- the fear of getting my hopes up too high, because as soon as I hold such a perfect little child I want one badly. But my friend offered, and that's an opportunity that a girl just can't pass up! He smelled so good...

It's nearly 6.30pm. I feel badly in need of tea and a bath, and AF is almost certainly on the way. I can feel my irrational nature surfacing again, mild low crampy twinges, and no motivation to eat. I just want to hold that baby again!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #10  
October 1st, 2010, 08:53 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
97.8. Qu'est que c'est?


Gianna Jessen -- Abortion Survivor

YouTube - Gianna Jessen Abortion Survivor in Australia Part 1 (part 1)
YouTube - Gianna Jessen Abortion Survivor in Australia Part 2 (part 2)
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #11  
October 1st, 2010, 08:30 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
was that your temp Jeanie? If so gl i hope its what u want no matter the outcome. and that baby sounds so adorable i know what u mean i c babies all day long and everytime i see one i just want one more and more. cant w8 for your update. when do u plan on testing?
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  #12  
October 1st, 2010, 09:17 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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I prob won't test until DPO 18. I've not had good results testing early -- even when instinct told me correctly that I was pg! It's DPO 12 today.

I am trusting God for the outcome. Can't see clearly anymore. Honestly, sometimes it's hard even to say what I want, because at times I just want my own baby, and other times I don't know how I could be crazy enough to think of interfering with the fabulous rapport my husband and I have... So we are just trusting God. It would be good to not be pg right now in that we've suddenly decided to change my insurance. BUT. If I were, would I care? Nope. But I've learned in the last 2 years, not to mention my entire life with 6 international moves through 3 countries, that I'm not as good at seeing the future as the Lord God is! Trust is hard...but better.

Hoping that I cycle a few days late, though. I have a crazy weekend, and I'm due to start new cycle either tomorrow or Sunday. Let's put it off until Monday, please! (I get baaaaaaad cramps...)
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #13  
October 2nd, 2010, 08:34 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
Oog. I have low cramps. But nothing to show for it! REALLY hoping AF will wait until this evening, at least, as I have to go bridesmaid dress shopping in an hour!!! Taking a huge stash of "just in case" things in my bag...

Waxed my legs this morning, in advance for the wedding next weekend. They are lovely and smooth! So it's not quite as good as a pro would give me, but a LOT cheaper. I'll do the brazilian tonight if AF hasn't shown up. Yeah, I'm an oddity. I go granola with no shampoo, but I'm still very much a British girl when it comes to hair! You know, in the UK, a full leg and brazilian wax done with hard wax would typically cost 35 pounds -- 70 US dollars. That's less than half the price of any salon I have found here in AZ yet. Pretty common request in the UK. I guess that makes it cheaper.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #14  
October 3rd, 2010, 04:45 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,031
CD 1. Painful cramps kicked in this morning halfway through music rehearsal for church service. I ended up crying off and went home! Bad cramps now. The kind that make me a little shaky and dizzy, and want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. Naproxen sodium is an old friend. Today is the worst day, though, so I know that tomorrow will be better. Which is good, because I'll have to work.

My honey is being a total sweetheart. He's looking after me without making me feel fussed over -- I definitely have one of the world's most golden men.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #15  
October 3rd, 2010, 09:40 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
Sorry bout the cramps i know they can be a major pain. Well i guess its on to the next cycle. and u right just trust God he will lead you down the right path. Gl and hope u feel better
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  #16  
October 4th, 2010, 09:47 AM
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Thanks.

Today IS much better. Time to wash my Gladrags again. I'll have to buy some more, as I only have enough for the 1st day and half, and I'm so spoiled by the cotton now that I hate going back to disposables! *Chuckle*

A toddler I'm looking after is sitting on the rug and singing very sweetly to a toy monkey... "eeeyaaa, eeeyaaa, seepy (sleepy) ni-ni (night-night)". She's so funny.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #17  
October 4th, 2010, 11:54 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,668
awww too cute.... glad u feeling better!
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  #18  
October 4th, 2010, 01:33 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 5,568
hey there. I am Nayomi. I like your nick name & that you have a
scripture in your siggy. God is Awesome.
Hope you get your soon!!!
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  #19  
October 4th, 2010, 02:43 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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OH MY GOODNESS....

I have to vent somewhere, and I don't know a better place than here! Maybe one of you other moms can give me some tips?! I'm so sick of this.

I just spent an hour cleaning up a little girl and bleaching my entire bathroom free from poop. ICK. She is 4 and 2 mos old. She's been toilet trained for 2 years, and never has accidents at home. I look after her and little sis M-W each week. Well... This little girl, let's call her "Katy", keeps having number 1 and 2 accidents while at my house. Mainly number 2's. I've done my utmost best to stay calm, to not show my increasing frustration, and not put her off going to the toilet. When she first came this wasn't an issue. Now it is.
Things I've tried, followed by the results ---

-- reminding her to "try" every 30-45 minutes... That seemed to help at first, but she now has tantrums upon reminder.
-- reminding her to "try every 60 mins... Still tantrums, and still accidents.
-- having her try when she's gassy, and @ suggestion of mom keep her there until she goes number 2..... She doesn't go. even after 30 mins.
-- mom's suggestion to make good toilet habits and no tantrums a requirement for her 1-10 daily reward chart.... In the last 2 weeks since doing that, she's now been going in to the bathroom and tearing up the roll of toilet paper into a pile on the floor, and w/ number 2 accidents sticks her hand into it and spreads it around whatever she can reach from the toilet, which unfortunately includes the door and shower curtains as well as wall and toilet.

I am at my wit's end. Unless mom can come up with something better, I am going to require that this child wears training pants at my house until the accidents stop. I am also going to require that "Katy" sits on the toilet and tries for a timed 10 minutes every 40 minutes. If she tantrums... Tough.

I should not have to deal with this. A daycare wouldn't. She's not my child, and I've been more than patient! If she WERE mine, her bottom would have been spanked a while ago to stop the tantrums.... I'm only allowed to put her in time out or take away her art privileges when she throws a fit. So she just throws a fit in the corner, instead. It's ridiculous.

ps. Just reread that -- to clarify, I wouldn't spank another person's child! Really! I'm just frustrated that I don't have anything more than the timeouts/loss of art as incentive for behaving well, because they are not working. I need something with more clout!
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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  #20  
October 5th, 2010, 02:20 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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YAY for moms who are on board and don't blame the nanny for their kids' behavior!!! The issue with "Katy" was dealt with appropriately, and we are trying a new method suggested by a child counselor friend to help her get past this relapse/hump. Sorry for the rant yesterday... I feel much better now!

I predict that I will probably ovulate on or near the weekend of 16th/17th. Of course, it's always subject to change, and I know I don't ovulate every month anyway. But we shall see what happens. Still don't know at this point if we're TTC or TTP this month because of the insurance thingy... I guess we will know that in a week's time!

Just wanted to say, I've really enjoyed reading some of your journals, ladies. It's encouraging to know other people don't have all the answers, either, and we're in this together! The Lord bless and keep you.
__________________
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of GOD
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38, the Bible
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