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When I got off work this morning, I was talking to the girl I work with and she was telling me about a woman that was pregnant and doing drugs. She said that the girls baby was very little when it was born and was probably gonna be going through withdrawls. That is so sad to me but also makes me so mad, because as bad as I or others that are decent people want a baby, we have a hard time getting pregnant. I wish it were as easy for me as the one's that get pregnant and it was a mistake. Well today is not a good day for me. Just thinking about that urks me. DH is still at work, he will be on on June 13th. I miss him so much. I don't know if I ovulated or not this month. I never got a positive on the OPK's but lately I have been having alot of CM. I don't know how to determine the difference of if it is watery, sticky, etc. I wish this process was much easier. Time for my dentist appointment.
I am so confused with this temping. I temped this morning and my temp was 97.0. It is up and down. I have no clue about it. I'm so stressed from worry if I will ever get pregnant. I wish I could just relax and calm down. AF hasn't showed and I don't think she will on her own. I only have a chance to get pregnant ever other month with AF not showing. I'm just gonna try not to worry. I guess by next week I will call the dr. to call in my meds.
Well I guess you could say that charting is not for me, I forgot to Temp this morning. I'm to busy and forget often. I will probably stop because I don't think it does me any good when I can't tell what kind of CM I have. I found out today that DH may be swapping jobs to working 7 on and 7 off. It may be easier that way but you never can tell when I will be ovulating. Maybe I am ovulating late now and maybe if he does change companies it will work out to where he will be home. I sure hope and I hope I start ovulating.
Well I didn't temp again this morning so I am offically going to quit until AF shows up. I will try to start back then. I just don't understand it so well and i don't know if just temping will show if I ovulated or not on FF. Well AF still hasn't showed if she hasn't came by the 12th then I will take the prometrium to make her show. The only bad part about that medicine is I have to take it twice a day for 10 days. So it is so hard to time it to where I think DH will be home. But this time I'm not gonna stress over that. If she hasn't showed by then, then I am just gonna go ahead and start taking it Monday. I actually think that I may be ovulating later in my cycle. For the past week I have had alot of CM. Not really sure what kind. But It's diffinetly been there. I really don't know if I am ovulated this past week because I haven't had any type of side pain. Like I did earlier in my cycle. Well that's about it today.
Nothing new today. Af still hasn't showed. I'm thinking about taking a test just because. I know what it will say though, that's why I really don't want to test but I may just go ahead. DH comes home Tuesday. It's so hard for me TTC with him working offshore. I never know if I will ovulate when he is gone or if I will ovulate with him home. But then again, who knows if I am even ovulating. I am seriously thinking about going ahead and getting a fertility moniter. I'm gonna go look at some now.
Don't to much going on today. AF is still a no show, which doesn't suprise me at all. My MIL came home from Ohio today. DH and I haven't seen her in like over 2 years and she just pops in today. He isn't even home yet. I'm just so stressed to the max. I'm thinking of quiting for a couple months. It's so hard on me. I want a baby so bad and AF refuses to show, which I should like beings I don't have to worry about having a period, but I want to get pregnant and I need her to show. And then I don't ovulate. I think I am gonna try and give it some time. The stress is hurting me, my health and my relationship with my DH.
I have offically decided that I am gonna quit TTC for a few months. Gonna try to get healthy and in shape. Try to lose some weight. Even though we are not gonna be offically trying we will not be preventing either. Maybe this will all work out.