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  #41  
February 15th, 2012, 06:23 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So last night I had my first piece of pineapple core, and surprisingly enough it was good. I thought it was going to be tough like bark, but no it was soft, just a little tougher than the meat of pineapple. I have to keep myself from eating the meat of the pineapple. I love pineapple so much I had my second piece of pineapple core tonight....

Am I the only one who at 2DPO sits there and thinks... "hhhmmmm, I could pregnant right now. I could have conceived a baby this week." I wish there was a turkey popper, that popped up to tell you that your pregnant the moment you conceive. I guess only time will tell....
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  #42  
February 20th, 2012, 01:35 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm starting to loose any hope that I had this cycle for a BFP.... I know its extremely early but I was hoping that I could test and possibly see a shadow of a BFP or invert of a BFP..... well I tested and it was a BFN.... I know its so early but it still hurts to see a BFN....
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  #43  
February 20th, 2012, 04:05 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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I had a dream last night that I POAS and got a BFP, then all of a sudden I saw the flashing icon... lol... I still wish it was real.
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  #44  
February 20th, 2012, 04:10 PM
Hopolka's Avatar Wife, Mom of 1, Expecting
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FX for you this cycle Raina. You really deserve a BFP. Only a few more days...just keep praying . I know I will be.
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  #45  
February 23rd, 2012, 06:12 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So I really think that I am out this cycle. I know people say 10DPO is still early, but I have seen plenty of women get BFP on 9 or 10DPO and im grasping at straws. I really feel like throwing in the towel this month. It was so perfect... I could have kept it to myself and my jm girls for 2 weeks and told DH on his birthday... But I don't see that happening I'm trying to be hopeful but it's so hard wen you see neg after neg. it's emotional and it hurts.
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  #46  
February 24th, 2012, 02:26 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am trying to hard to pick myself up off the ground, but Im finding it very difficult. I so thought this cycle was ours... this was our moment... induce the cycle, take clomid, and wait for our bfp... but its another slap in the face. I know I should be happy that I ovulated. I am. But it still hurts. I know its only 1 cycle that I have had where I have ovulated out of the 14 months of ttc... but its still 14 months of heartache. I really thought by now I would be holding that precious little baby in my arms. I just feel so heartbroken. I cant even stand it anymore.. i know I should look at the end goal, but all I can think right now is "This hurts too much!" i feel like I am falling apart, and my heart is breaking into tiny little pieces. While all day I have to pretend and put a smile on my face and fake it.. then i get to go home and pretend all over again. Its exhausting!!! I hate feeling so negative... but right now thats all I can feel.
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  #47  
February 25th, 2012, 10:15 AM
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I know it is hard right now. Especially with a lot of people on the boards getting their BFP, but all you have to do is look at your little girl's face and know that it is all worth it in the end.
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  #48  
February 25th, 2012, 05:25 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So I have been reading a book about fertility issues when a thought crossed my mind. I am a God fearing woman of of faith, and I believe that God answers prayers spoken and unspoken.

When I started this TTC journey over a yr ago I had one question. After almost miscarrying my DD twice and the both of us almost dying during labor. The endless prayers, fighting, and begging God to keep her alive. How could I ever love a child equally to the way I love my daughter?

Could it be the reason I am fighting to get pregnant now. The reason my heart is broken into a million tiny pieces each cycle... Is so God can put my heart back together even bigger than before with the same amount of love for another child???
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  #49  
February 27th, 2012, 03:17 PM
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It's been a long day... but productive... Went to work, then left at 1 for my job interview... I think the interview went pretty well... I am hopeful to get a call back for a 3rd interview... Went and got my car tag renewed, came home and cleaned a bit...

now I'm sitting here letting my thoughts run wild... and the only thing i can think about is the baby I miscarried almost 5 yrs ago..... Had I not lost that baby either he or she would be turning 4 in May.... I find peace knowing that somewhere in heaven that little boy or girl is playing, and smiling down on us...
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  #50  
February 29th, 2012, 11:29 AM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So back to CD1 for me. I can honestly say that I am okay with it. I have managed to find peace in starting a new cycle, and I plan to hold onto that peace as long as possible.

I called the Nurse today and scheduled my CD21 bloodwork, and once I ovulate I have to call again to schedule my 7DPO bloodwork. I have this cycle and next cycle left on the clomid before I have to see a fertility specialist.

I went ahead and asked the nurse for a referral to a fertility specialist. It usually can take 2-3 months to get in to see one. I just dont want to have any more wasted time waiting to see a dr. Good news is they were able to setup a referral for me, and my appointment with the specialist is May 3rd.

So I feel really good about that. Hopefully I wont even need them. But just in case I would go in to see them as soon that last cycle ends... So no wait time at all.... woo hooo
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  #51  
March 1st, 2012, 06:10 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Glad you have all your ducks in a row!
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  #52  
March 7th, 2012, 09:05 AM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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CD 8.... Finnished my Clomid last night and I am so ready to ovulate and go to the TWW , but I have to remember patience.

I started temping again this morning, and ugh I so didnt want to... I have to start using OPKs again tonight, and I actually am not looking forward to POAS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!! But I will POAS, and I am sure that I will pee on a lot more than just 1 stick.

The only thing that I am honestly looking forward to right now... is all the BD hmmmm... I guess pratice makes perfect
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  #53  
March 8th, 2012, 05:58 AM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So DH birthday is today.... my Hubby turns 34 (I had to tease him about getting old. lol) The only thing that I wanted to give him for his birthday was a little OU Sooners onsie and a positive pregnancy test. But its ok.... My birthday is next month on the 26th... I am on CD 9, so I have this month and next month to get that BFP for my birthday! Fxd here's hoping
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  #54  
March 8th, 2012, 10:30 AM
Hopolka's Avatar Wife, Mom of 1, Expecting
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Happy Birthday to your DH! My DH turned 26 on the 5th. FX your meds stay on your side this month and work with your body. I'll be anxious to see the results of your OPKs! Practice practice practice .
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  #55  
March 13th, 2012, 01:25 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So I was driving to work this morning, listening to Chris Rice "Clumsy" and totally worshiping God during rush hour... and I had a vision....

Everytime I imagine myself in the presence of God, I am in this old century garden, with a waterfall in the center of the garden, and the flowers so high that they are like walls.... similar to the garden picture below.....




So in this vision, I saw God and what is He holding, but a baby, and he holds the baby out for me hold....

Dear God let it be so....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopolka View Post
Happy Birthday to your DH! My DH turned 26 on the 5th. FX your meds stay on your side this month and work with your body. I'll be anxious to see the results of your OPKs! Practice practice practice .
My brother's birthday is the 5th as well.... (but he turned 27) Funny that my brother and your hubby are 1 yr apart to the day... March 5th is a good day....

I still cant believe that I O'd early this month... 5 whole days earlier than last month... WOOT WOOT!!!!
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  #56  
March 14th, 2012, 12:30 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So now it is starting to look like I didn't O afterall on Monday. I am so beyond frustrated... Why get a positive OPK and not O... I mean really... whats the point in that..

I am trying to so hard to stay positive for myself, and those around me, but how can I be positive when I dont know what the heck is going on... ugh I feel so lost.

I am so ready for this ttc journey to be over, and ready to be pregnant, and have that precious bundle in my arms.. I am getting so impatient, and I am trusting in the Lord to help me, cause I sure dont have the answers.
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  #57  
March 19th, 2012, 09:09 AM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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SO I am thinking that I ovulated either really late at night on the 16th or really early on the morning of the 17th.... I still do not have any cross hairs from FF.... hopefully I will get them tomorrow... Not feeling super confident this cycle... I totally didnt time anything, and DH was tired after my first +OPK on CD12 so we didnt BD for 2 days.... I dont know if that hurt us considering that I possibly O'd 5 days later.... but we did BD the 15th - 17th..... I know its all in Gods timing and not mine... so I am going to temp tomorrow morning, hope that I get my crosshairs... and then relax until next cycle.

We'll see what God has in store for our family...
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  #58  
March 21st, 2012, 05:23 PM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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So yesterday I had cramping.... like intense would not go away cramping. I had that for about 30-45 mins and then it subsided.

Today it feels like electric twinges or pulses in the uterus would feel like... and then it felt like a dull pulling feeling and heaviness... I honestly feel like I'm crazy... like maybe its all in my head. Like maybe I am just to darn hopeful and I am making these things up.

Lord please help me to lean on you.
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  #59  
March 28th, 2012, 06:48 AM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Raina. I think this is why I like the TTC forum so much…because you ladies feel my pain. Literally. The past 7 months have been a rollercoaster of emotions, and I think my ability to overanalyze ever twinge and stab of uterine whatever has been finely honed during that time.

In the beginning, I used to think “Wow…okay, so this is implantation!” or something else like that. But as the months have progressed…I’ve finally decided that I just need to try to let my body do its thing without putting my own spin on it. TRY being the key word there, right?

Nevertheless, I’m going to cross my fingers for you this month…
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  #60  
March 28th, 2012, 07:47 AM
Wishinfor2ndblessing's Avatar Super Mommy
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Well last night I got my BFP... What a long hard journey, but God is merciful and gracious. Thank you Lord for this wonderful blessing growing in my womb.



I may take progression pictures, maybe every other day..... I have been a fountain of tears since last night. I am crying at every little thing... I am still feeling twinges.... I already have M/S, mostly at night, but today I am still have M/S that comes and goes. The only thing that keeps going though my head are these 2 statements.... "I'm pregnant" and "Thank You God!"
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