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  #21  
June 12th, 2012, 12:38 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
June 12th, 2012 CD 24
6dpo

Tired. Haven't been feeling well for the past few days. I'm drained. I had plan to come by last night, but I decided that it was better if I just went to sleep. I feel like going to sleep now, but Leroy is teaching Jamel his letters and numbers and Zion won't take a nap with me. :'(

Nothing has really happened except the school finally gave us the address to where we are going to be staying and me and Leroy spent hours trying to find pictures of the place on their website where she promised they would be and we found them nowhere. So we were like hmmm....what if we get there. Pick up the keys and it's from the pits of hell? I hope it isn't. I really hope it isn't....smh. I'm just excited to get out of my mother in laws house back into our own.

For the past three days my mother in law keeps asking me am I alright. I don't look ok and if I'm having another baby because I'm not being myself. Now, the last time she said that I was pregnant. I honestly think I'm just down with something and I will feel better soon. Everyone has been coming down with the flu and this horrible stomach virus so....I'm not really getting gassed up off of that. Like I've stated many times before I am just not one of those women that get off of birth control decided to get pregnant and WHAM it happens. If it has this time then... O_O I will definitely be amazed. With the Lord though anything is possible.

I think that Zion is finally calming down. I can't stay awake another second. Sorry ladies. I just have to go. Enjoy the rest of the day.
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~*Mommy To Zion 6.23.11 & Jamel 9.1.08*~



My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #22  
June 13th, 2012, 05:33 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,673
Sorry u not feeling well. Fx your Mil is right n its a baby! I can't believe u have to move blind. They can't take pics for u n emai/text them to u. I hope u feel better.... IN LIKE 9 MONTHS!
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  #23  
June 13th, 2012, 07:04 AM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,577
Praying your mil is right. I hope if it is just a bug, you feel better soon. Did you try google street viewing the address? I pray it's suitable for your family. Kup!
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2013 Mommy
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  #24  
June 13th, 2012, 10:18 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
Hey Sonica and Amber. We did get a street view, I believe their all town homes. I really want to get a look on the inside. So far it sounds great...but you know how those things go.

June 13, 2012 CD 25
About 8DPO

so, I'm a little sad. I know it's all because of my sister in law being pregnant. I'm trying my best to just be happy for her and smile as she gushes over her new pregnancy. But I can't help but wonder, "Lord, why? It only took her one cycle to get pregnant after having Mirena placed for 4 years. Why does it take me forever?" I can't help but think something is wrong with me. It's not that I'm Obsessing, I'm just a little sad at how some women just decide to get pregnant and it happens, or the teenagers that just have tht one little oops and they end up pregnant. I'm like really? I know that God is in control of every single thing so that allows me to keep my head on straight and not go running this way and that trying this herb and that herb running to fertility specialist and my Gyno every breaking moment I get, because I have two children so I at least know that i can have children.

( I'm on my iPad sorry for the typos )

I just want what's best for our family, if God tells me no, no more kids...then I pray he take away the desire to have anymore because it's burning me up on the inside. My husband doesn't completely understand what the big deal is or why I get sad. Maybe it's just a woman thing.i try talkingto him and it's like he's on another planet. X_x is what he looks like when I'm talking to him.

I feel like crying right now. I'm trying not to, I'm just frustrated with trying to get all these things ready for the move, the atmosphere at my mother in laws house. Everything is just getting on my ever lasting nerves. I can't seem to think straight. The bill to our phone still isn't paid up and it's due on the 18 th of this month and his sister is still acting like she don't care. She is busy talking about how she's gonna donate money to her kids summer camp but she has yet to fork up her 380 dollars for her late half of the bill. Which means she hasn't paid in about 3 months....I'm just done with it all.

I am just happy that this staying with the in laws and seeing them everyday is almost over and we'll be miles away in our own place again. I've been praying about this and I see the light at the end of the tunnel....I just pray that the Lord give me patience in getting to the light because I'm ready to light rockets at the back of my heels and get there now!

I do feel a little better today. It was hard getting out of bed but I feel alright. Still cramping a little bit on the right side where I probably ovulated from and nausea wise it has calmed down a lot today. I'm still getting waves of it, but it could just be my nerves and anxiety getting the best of me. That's caused me to feel this way before...minus the cramping I'm getting. I thought the cramping went away last night but I guess I was just hopeful that I wouldn't wake up and feel this bit of aggravation today. It's not that bad just a little annoying. Well...I'm feeling a little better. Hopefully I will be back and on a much happier note.
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My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #25  
June 15th, 2012, 12:39 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
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Even more upset today. The family woke up this morning, prayed, listened to bible readings and headed to the park. Leroy decided to call T-mobile, his sister STILL HASN'T PAID HER HALF of the bill. It's 500 dollars now...Monday is the last day for a payment. We paid our half and they said they'd work on something with us. So Leroy says he's going to suspend my line until the bill cuts down. I almost flipped out, I literally felt my head spin around and green bile come out of my mouth. SUSPEND MY LINE?! I think not, cut her phone off. That's my suggestion. She isn't even TRYING to make a payment. He isn't trying to force her either. If I have to say something to her it's going to be UGLY. I'm not getting my line suspended when we pay our half and you haven't paid a CENT SINCE APRIL. She made a late partial payment in March. I mean really? Suspend my line? The charges aren't coming from my line. Our half is paid up...this is why you don't do stuff like this for family.

>>Rant.OVER<<

June 15th CD 27
10dpo


I snuck to the store Tuesday and bought a pregnant test. It's a dollar store cheapie. I want to test so bad today, but I'm not I'm going to wait a few more days. So far I'm experiencing some aching under my arms, a little bit of cramping off and on, nothing severe it's unnoticeable now and I'm wondering if that's a bad sign? Well, the cramping on my right lower side is barely noticeable but I'm getting cramps like menstrual cramping now but not as bad. I was a little nauseous last night, but that seems to be going away as well. It's just this underarm aching that's a bug. I had that my last pregnancy during the 2ww with Zion. I don't really want to call these EPS, but I want them to be so bad...lol.

Last night, was...=) It was something else. Definitely amazing. I don't think he's NTNP anymore. lol. He's joined my TTC wagon. He want's his little girl. Hopefully we will be blessed with one soon. I'm not going to be that sad if this cycle didn't work, but I'd be over the hills if it has.

Zion's birthday is the 23rd and I'm hoping that he starts walking soon. So far he's taking like 2 or 3 steps at the most. He'll fall, get back up take another step and say forget it, then start walking on his hands and feet. He NEVER crawled on his knees. NEVER. I just can't believe how fast everything went with him. My pregnancy seemed like it lasted five minutes, labor and delivery seemed like I closed my eyes woke up and had a kid in my arms, then his whole first year went by in a blink. =( He didn't stay a baby a long time.

Jamel starts...I'm not sure. We were going to send him to preschool this year, but DH changed his mind and wants to finish home schooling him. *sigh* Next year I don't care what his argument is, I think that Jamel should go to school. I love having him around don't get me wrong. But he needs friends his age to associate with. There aren't any in the neighborhood, even if there were I wouldn't allow him to play with him. This isn't the neighborhood for that. And his little cousins, Tee's children...NO HE WILL NOT BE PLAYING WITH THEM ANY MORE! I caught the five year old grabbing his private and trying to rub his chest. He was standing there looking so FRIGHTENED. I talked to him and told him don't LET ANYONE not even OTHER CHILDREN touch him inappropriately. She didn't even stop her daughter from doing it. I wanted to scream! It's like she doesn't notice that maybe the porn her husband is always watching when he's HIGH or DRUNK, his KIDS are watching it to when he thinks they're sleep on the couch or in their rooms. UGH. But she's PREGNANT.

**MOVING ON IM GETTING UPSET AGAIN**

So, things with Tennessee looking down again. We just got a call saying that cost of living was going to be seperate this school year and it's not inclusive with everything else as it was before. In order to move it would cost us 8 thousand EXTRA. So we just decided never mind. Everything was looking so great. I don't understand why they called us so last minute and to tell us things have changed. We paid 250 dollars for Leroy's classes that he needed to take next month before his actual classes and they didn't tell us that when we called. The lady said everything was inclusive and taken care of with the financial aid and the loans. Now they call us and tell us everything has collapsed he needs a co-signer on the loans and the housing isn't inclusive. I don't know. We just thinks its such a big mess and nobody has been being honest with us so. It's just crazy because I just had a problem myself with school. Only difference is my school wasn't accredited. I don't understand though, why does he need a co-signer when his credit is way better than me and his sisters and his sister has like 3 school loans out and I was approved for 2 of mine??? Which I didn't accept after I found out the school wasn't accredited. Something just sounds fishy. Maybe he can look into another school for Theology. I'm sure he can find one just as nice as that one SEEMED to be.

Well enough rambling. I'm going to lay down and rest. Decide if I'm going to visit a church with Leroy or not. Ours is going off to camp meeting in Orangeburg south carolina a little over an 1hr and a half a way and I don't think I want to go to that. Too much hassle with carpooling and the kids. When I'm ready to go I'm ready to go. Hope you ladies enjoy the start of this new weekend. Please pray for me and my family and pray that we get out of my mother in law's house soon. Take care.
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~*Mommy To Zion 6.23.11 & Jamel 9.1.08*~



My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.



Last edited by *Mrs.ToyaJae*; June 15th, 2012 at 12:42 PM.
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  #26  
June 15th, 2012, 06:39 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,673
Awww my poor friend. Not much I can say cuz u been through one bad thing after another. It seems u just need a
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  #27  
June 15th, 2012, 09:00 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,577
I'm praying you find an even better school for your Dh and you have a home of your own soon.
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"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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  #28  
June 17th, 2012, 05:59 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
Thanks ladies. I wasted away my test because I just couldn't wait to poas. Lol, so I will have to go get some more if my period doesn't show by Wednesday. I'm still cramping under my arms, occasionally, af like cramps and nausea. Soooo, we will see. Ugh.
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My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #29  
June 18th, 2012, 10:25 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
No update today, at least for right now. I'm in a horrible mood. I pray that the Lord help me to find a way to cope through the rest of this day. Dealing with major cramps and aching under my arms. I wish my period just start already. I know I'm out this cycle...it's the first one trying and I just have that "out feeling". I just pray this isn't a long drawn out cycle. I had 80 days between feb 6 and the 26th of April. The bleed i had in may, I'm chalking that up to withdrawal bleed. *sighs*
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~*Mommy To Zion 6.23.11 & Jamel 9.1.08*~



My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.



Last edited by *Mrs.ToyaJae*; June 18th, 2012 at 10:27 AM.
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  #30  
June 19th, 2012, 01:17 AM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,673
So sorry my friend. Im goin to pray for u.
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  #31  
June 19th, 2012, 09:09 AM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
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June 19th, 2012 CD 31

Well, I tested again this morning. BFN! I'm not testing anymore. I Don't know what's going on. I think my cycle is going to disappear for a while again. It was supposed to be on between Sunday and this Morning. It didn't show up. I'm around 14dpo today I could be earlier than that or later than that. I have no idea didn't temp or use OPKs. I just checked CM and CP. Grr! First cycle END ALREADY!!!! Maybe it'll come on later today, but my cervix is still high and kind of soft...I'm CRAMPING LIKE MAD! I had to go out and go on the hunt for pain meds I was in so much pain. I just knew I was going to see her face today, but she's so far a no show. *sigh*

Jamel isn't feeling well. Leroy went out to get him some things to help him. I think he ate too much food yesterday. We went over to some church friend's house and they just kept feeding us and feeding us. Finally we were like NO MORE!!! So I'm not surprised if he just isn't feeling well from all the food he ate yesterday.

Well, going to find something to do with myself.
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My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #32  
June 19th, 2012, 12:26 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,577
Good luck and keep us posted. I'm praying if you're not PG, you get af.
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2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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  #33  
June 19th, 2012, 09:15 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,673
I hope your son feels better n af r bfp show soon.
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  #34  
June 20th, 2012, 01:52 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
He's much better.

Today is cycle day 32. I am in so much pain. I have been praying, Lord please allow af to just come and relieve me of this pain. I took another 88cent test from Walmart (same as the dollar store) test and got a bfn. A shadow came up about 10min later but I'm not counting that. I have that intuition that this isn't my cycle. I just pray that it end already because it's becoming painful and it's almost a 'burning' pain. I'm tired of popping Tylenol because it's not really working. I was in so much pain this morning I was almost crying.

I don't want to chart next cycle. No cp and no cm. It gives me too much anxiety. I want to just chill. I hate these long drawn out painful cycles though. I had a few after depo. But I've been off of birth control long enough to not be going through this now.

I have a girls weekend planned and my sister is getting the kids next week. So if af is coming on...I hope it's after this weekend or just start now so it'll be light on its way to going off. So keep me in your thoughts and prayers..hopefully she'll be here later on tonight or the am. Hopefully. :/
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My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #35  
June 20th, 2012, 04:17 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 2,577
I hope you enjoy your girl time! I can't wait to hear how it went. I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain. I'm praying for you. I'm glad to hear your little man is doing better God will bless us when we least expect it so I hope your kicking back does the trick. If nothing else, it Might relax you more which is always a good thing.
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2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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  #36  
June 22nd, 2012, 12:14 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 964
Thanks Amber, I'm going to do my best. Hopefully this pain subsides. It was at a very high level this morning. It seems worse in the mornings always, tapers off in the early afternoon and comes back in the late evenings. I took another test and got a shadow. =/ I think I'm done with dollar General test. Will NOT take another one. My cervix is still high, back and forth between soft and medium. I'm having watery and creamy cm, sometimes lotiony. I have an appointment finally on Monday at 10:15 hopefully I get some answers soon. IDK what's going on, hopefully AF just show up because obviously I'm not pregnant just some wacky cycle but I HAVE GOT TO GET SOMETHING to take this pain away.
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My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #37  
June 22nd, 2012, 08:04 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
Im on my phone so i cant update like i want....im leaking colostrum and my armpits are aching like they did during the let down when i was breastfeeding zion. Omg. I need to go get an answer brand or something. I hope nothing else serious could be wrong. Will update you guys properly asap.
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~*Mommy To Zion 6.23.11 & Jamel 9.1.08*~



My. Two. FAVORITE. Little. Men.


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  #38  
June 22nd, 2012, 08:59 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,577
Praying you get answers soon as to what's going on with your body. Please keep us posted!
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Amber Wife of Tim ; Mom to - (7) (4) (3), (2 months) and Step mom (9)




2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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  #39  
June 25th, 2012, 01:08 PM
*Mrs.ToyaJae*'s Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 964
So my journey ends here. My hormones are out of control again. Like they were when i was in highschool. My thyroid is fine, but my hormones are all across the board so I've been prescribed birth control again. That's the only thing that fixed it then I had one year on the patch and my periods became regular for 2and a half years I got pregnant with Jamel and then they went bonkers again, but I got pregnant with Zion and now they've completely DISAPPEARED AGAIN. I've only had 2 since post partum. So I'm going to get them started again and hopefully in about a year or so I can start trying again. =(
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  #40  
June 26th, 2012, 07:13 AM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My heart is breaking for you, Toya. I'm still holding onto the faith you'll have baby number 3. I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I hope you update us with how you and your amazing family are doing. I'll be praying you find your own house soon also. Please take care of yourself. You'll be missed.
*Mrs.ToyaJae* likes this.
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2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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