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5years of ttc and I am not giving up....


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  #21  
March 24th, 2014, 01:35 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,723
Cd 22 9/10 dpo

I thought I would properly undate since I am on my laptop and not my cel. First I will update about my health. I am now on oxygen. I love being able to breathe but I am not liking tugging this thing every where. I have 50ft cord that I have to wind up and follow me every where in the house and then I have a travel one. As for my cycle well breast still hurt off and on. I have cramping off and on and when I held my urine today it was awful I was in so much pain also my cm is strange. It is paper like mixed in creamy and watery cm . So I didn't wake up til after 12pm and I decided to test. I took one of those .88 cents test from Walmart. All I have in the house. I left it in the window while I brushed my teeth and took my meds. I looked it at I saw a shadow. This couldn't have been but a couple of mins. I then took it in the room and got dressed and looked at it again and I still see the shadow with a lil pink. IDK what to make of these tests cuz I have been burned by them... just like every other test I have taken but I did take one a few months ago and it was stalk white. I wanna take a pic but I cant remember the password to photobucket.... been a while since I posted a pic.. I went back to the room and looked it and the pink was more noticeable. I had taken it out of the case to get a closer look but idk what make of this. I am going to go the store and buy another test and see what happen. I am thinking that I might take my prog to be sure if I get another positive. wyt?

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Last edited by swtneka; March 24th, 2014 at 03:09 PM.
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  #22  
March 26th, 2014, 09:25 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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CD 24 11/12 dpo

Well I have been testing since that evap and with those same tests and they have been stark white. Today test was a shadow and it stayed an shadow hours after. I'm so excited that I made it to 11 dpo and in a few mins I will be 12 dpo. I haven't made it this far in a while. I did take progesterone cuz I was sure that wasn't a evap n I knew I was going to wake up to my bfp. I was really disappointed when it was a bfn. This was the first time in years of ttc that I actually shed a tear. I guess cuz I haven't taken a test in so long and I have been using my dh job as a crutch for us not getting pregnant but even though I got a + opk after dh left I was holding a Lil hope his swimmers lasted for my egg when it popped out. I just had to get that out of my system. Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and ask God for forgiveness I felt so much better. Now I'm excited that af hasn't shown and I'm making it till 12dpo. I'm still feeling sick to my stomach and my breast feel heavy and tender. I'm sure af will be here tomorrow. I only did one day of prog so idt that messed things up too much. If af doesn't show by tomorrow evening I'm going to test. I'm going to get an answer not them Wal-Mart cheap test. Well ttyl smooches!
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  #23  
March 26th, 2014, 11:43 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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Location: Bay area CA
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Oh Sonica I'm sorry... We protect ourselves and then sometimes thing sneak in and it hits us and it hurts I still hope you get your miracle, love.
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  #24  
March 27th, 2014, 07:48 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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Cd 25 12/13 dpo

Well here it is after 9pm and I don't see af no where in sight. I can not believe she has let me get this fair. I have some af symptoms that makes me think she is coming but I don't have the major ones that I usually get like the craving choc and ALWAYS HUNGRY... Do u think taking the prog 3 days ago has messed things up that much to where I am late? I haven't taken a test cuz I keep thinking that she is going to show her face any minute now. I had some serious cramping when I made a bm earlier. It was horriable. I was not constipated at all but I felt this crampy pressure when I was pushing. So much that I didn't want to push anymore and I was holding my stomach. I keep having these gushes of creamy cm. The first few times it happened I just knew that it was af but it wasn't and when I went to the bathroom and wiped it was creamy and stretchy. IDK what that was... I still feel sick to my stomach, My breast still hurts and are heavy and full. When I was driving my arms kept hitting my breast and that is def new. Sounds promising right? Well it can all end in a few hours when af arrives. I did buy a test. I bought a answer. I will not take till tomorrow but Idk if I am going to even then cuz I just don't want to see another bfn. Guess I will go and take a shower and check my cervix and then go and update ff. ttyl smooches

ETA:

I'm sure af is going to be here in the next few hours cuz I'm cramping like crazy with serious back aches. Took a test n it was neg so u know she comes after that but I think that bm got things moving cuz ooh we them cramps.
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  #25  
March 28th, 2014, 05:04 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 26 just wanted to report af has landed! I'm only having back pain... on to the next cycle and dh might be home! Yay!
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  #26  
April 10th, 2014, 03:49 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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cd 14 I'm not sure if I ovulated yet. I have had ewcm for the past few days but when I took an opk it was very neg. I have been feeling o pain off an on but nothing major. I have stopped taking my needs n I haven't been feeling well for a while. I stopped taking it cuz I wanna loose a few lbs but idk if it's worth the trade off. I don't even think I'm losing any weight. Feels like I'm gaining and I NEVER eat. That's y I feel like **** if I do **** if I don't. I think I need to embrace my weight and start loving who I am cuz I don't have the strength to change it. idk ttyl
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  #27  
April 14th, 2014, 03:14 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 18

I don't know if it when I ovulated. I've been having o pains on the right side for over an week. my cm is creamy as if I did ovulate but I'm just not sure. I never got an positive opk not even a semi positive on the days I would have thought I was ovulating. I haven't been feeling well so I really don't care to be honest. I asked my sil bout being our surrogate and she said it will be gross to have her brother semen in her. She also went on to say that the child would be retarded cuz they are blood. I had to explain to her that it would be my egg n that fertilization will a already have taken place b4 they put the embryo in her. She seem to understand but said it gives her chills so idk. This morning when she came picked up her daughter she said good morning baby mama. idk if I should take that as a sign that she is willing to do it but I'm optimistic. Well I'm cooking red beans, cornbread, n fried chicken which I might not eat none of cuz I'm not feeling well. I threw up this morning and my stomach is still bothering me. ugh.. well ttyl
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  #28  
April 15th, 2014, 08:50 AM
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Thanks for your story
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  #29  
April 16th, 2014, 01:04 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 20

I'm still unaware of if or when I ovulated. I just know that my breast our so swole and so tender. I couldn't even sleep on them. idk what my body is doing. I'm cramping like crazy. I think it's cuz I'm constipated. I haven't been regular all week. I can't w8 till this cycle is over. I think I'm going to get on bc till I start ivf. I'm tired of this. well ttyl smooches
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  #30  
April 17th, 2014, 07:06 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 21

Well just thought I'd jot down today's symptoms even though I'm unsure if I'm actually in my tww. My breast are still sore but not as swollen as yesterday. I'm still cramping off n on and I'm getting this vibrating feeling in uterus or should I say that area. I googled that and it seems a lot of pregnant women get this BUT I have read some non pregnant women get it as well. No one knows the cause but I read someone suggested it might be a pinched nerve. It's most likely that for me. My dh says I've been mean to him the last couple of days. I have noticed I've been a Lil short with him but I have a lot on my mind. Oh... when I wiped early after a bm I had a speck of pink on the paper. Idk if af trying to come super early but it wouldn't be the first time and it would explain if I been a Lil snippy but I don't usually spot b4 af comes. I don't spot like ever. I tell u crazy cycle. I had an appt today with my lung Dr. nothing new to report according to him. I can't w8 till I find a Dr that deals with my disease cuz he is horrible. Oh another thing CRAZY dreams... That's all for now ttyl smooches
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  #31  
April 28th, 2014, 10:51 PM
Caerus's Avatar Happy as a (Tired) Clam
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Location: Florida
Posts: 3,034
Any updates? I don't usually post over here, but I think about you often.

Really excited for this year to fly by and y'all to get to do IVF! I'm sorry your sister is being unclear (and probably confused herself) about her offer to be a surrogate.
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  #32  
April 30th, 2014, 09:29 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
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CD 12

I started spotting on April 17&18 never had that before but then only had a flow for 3 days. I'm unsure if I have o'd yet but I haven't had any signs of ovulation near. I stopped taking the raspberry leaf tea and the iso cuz it was making my breast hurt like crazy and since I stopped no breast tenderness. I started back my anxiety meds and put all this ttc in the back of mind. I'm 100% sure I won't get preg naturally and I'm 50% sure I won't be able to carry a baby. I'm too scared to ask my Dr. I've been put on 100% oxygen and my prognosis has gotten worse so idk. I'm still hoping that my sister or my sister in law will carry for me.
I'm going on a cruise with my sister in 2 weeks and I'm so psyched bout that. I'll have some me time. I've been trying to eat healthier. I have cut back on bread and sweets and watching my portion size. I can't exercise but I'm going to get me some of them bands to tone some of this fat. My clothes are fitting looser but I'm not noticing anything on the scale. I'm just going to keep this up and hope it helps since my meds cause weight gain no matter what. Somtime I feel like I mines well eat what I want since the weight going to come no matter what!.... Dh is gone :-( and he won't be back till the 23rd. So he won't be here for mother's day. He gave me a $100 credit on my cruise cash card as a mother's day present so I'm going to have fun! It's been quite a season but I know God has my back and I have faith things will get even better! Be blessed everyone! smooches
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Last edited by swtneka; April 30th, 2014 at 09:38 PM.
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  #33  
April 30th, 2014, 10:26 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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Have a blast on your cruise sweetie!!
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  #34  
May 3rd, 2014, 04:36 PM
Caerus's Avatar Happy as a (Tired) Clam
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Location: Florida
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Hey, I personally don't believe the scale means a whole lot. If your clothes are feeling looser, then you are doing awesome! Remember, muscle is heavier than fat! Do you mean the lap band thing? My uncle got a lap band a few years ago, and he is doing worlds better than he used to. He has a bad knee, so losing the weight via the lap band helped him become more active, so he can live a much more healthy lifestyle than before. Maybe it will help you and your prognosis too?

The cruise sounds like a lot of fun, make sure you take plenty of pics!


I really admire your faith! Truly, just about every time I see you on FB it is uplifting.
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  #35  
May 3rd, 2014, 09:35 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Hey Rebecca I'm so glad your pregnancy is going well and your having a baby girl. That's such a blessing. Can't w8 to see pics of her when she is born. I'm not referring to lap band surgery. I'm referring to them stretch bands that u can do sitting down. I truly believe God has blessed me with such wonderful things and he has me in this very moment as a part of his plan. It will work itself out.
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  #36  
June 25th, 2014, 01:30 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 14

I can't believe I haven't written in my journal in so long. I know I was having problems on here for a while, where I would write something n then get a error message and I stopped writing even replying. I still lurk to see how everyone is doing. I'm not sure what's going on with my cycle. I have dipped trying to understand it since I am on so much meds that I'm sure it's affecting my body ability to do anything. I'm not sure if I'm ovulating for the past few months. I get ewcm all through out my cycle and I have mild cramps off an on also. I have taken opk's when I thought I might be ovulating but they always neg. I can't remember the last time I had an + opk. As for my health still the same. I have been on oxygen for a few months. I'm back on blood pressure pills and now I'm on heart meds. My Dr told me that I can not carry a pregnancy. It would either put myself or the baby at risk if not both. This wasn't her professional opinion just her personal opinion. She says I won't carry to full term cuz the pregnancy would be to much on my body. Idk what to make of that. I feel like I can do it and I'll never forgive myself if I don't try. I'm feeling like my sister's are changing their minds about being a surrogate. I'm thinking of trying to do a injectable cycle and just see what my body is going to do. I have been told to loose weight so I've been trying to do that and I'm doing well. I've been losing 2lbs a week as of far. So I'm happy about that. I've even been exercising. I think that is helping the over all. It's only 10 mins a day but something is better than nothing. On other news my kids have left for the summer to go by my mom. My son turned 14. We are still in the process of getting our house built. Didn't think it would take this long but I know God has bigger plans that mine. I just have to be patient and in time he will bless us with everything and more. Ttyl
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Last edited by swtneka; June 25th, 2014 at 01:41 PM.
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  #37  
June 25th, 2014, 10:25 PM
Lucy S.'s Avatar POAS addict
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I was just thinking about you... I am sorry you are having so many medical issues
Any update on possibly doing surrogacy?
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  #38  
June 26th, 2014, 01:57 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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Lucy! I'm glad you stopped by. U know I've been stalking u and your Lil boy. I'm still on the fence with surrogacy. My sisters are on the fence about it. my older sis husband said no and my baby sis hasn't mentioned it since. I know I have another sis who could do it but she has attachment issues and she would think she have some type of claim on them. So it's up in the air now. I'm leaving it in God's hands. Thanks for checking up on me.
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  #39  
July 1st, 2014, 05:21 PM
swtneka's Avatar Praying for a miracle
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CD 20 I am unsure if I have ovulated. I have had 0 signs of ovulation. I have had nothing but creamy cm. I think I had some pink this morning when I wiped but I flushed it so quick to really say definite. I was sure that I was getting af today cuz my nerves has been so bad. I'm thinking it might pop up n the next few days. dh comes home Friday YAY and I'm so excited. Fx that she don't show her face till he been home for a few days. I'm in need of some loving. Well ttyl smooches!
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  #40  
July 6th, 2014, 10:15 AM
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I wish I was closer to you. I'd be your surrogate. Have you tried any vitamins or natural remedies to help get a bfp? I'm glad you're taking steps to get healthy. I bet you get a surprise before you get ready for ivf
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