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Will your DH or SO go to your US?


Forum: July 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
November 7th, 2012, 08:21 AM
Mandamail88's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 674
My firsts US is Friday, I'll only be 5 weeks, they'll also do a physical at this appointment. I called DH at work and told him yesterday and asked if he could take off work. He said yes. Last night we were talking about it, and I was saying that my boss kind of upset me when I told her I needed the morning off - she scowled at me and was like "why would they even do one that early" It hurt my feelings, anyways, when I told DH about it, he was like "Yah, everyone at work said the same thing when I said something about going"

Of course I'm super sensitive and emotional and this sent me over the edge, I got really upset and threw a little tantrum about how if he didn't want to go that I'd just have my mom go. Of course he explained that he was just saying what the people at work said, and he never said he didn't want to go.

He has a pretty important job, and I just feel like maybe this ultrasound he could skip since we wont be able to see a heartbeat or anything, just a bean, and he'll have to sit fhrough my physical. He works an hour and 10 minutes from our town, so he can't go back to work afterwards. This whole situation overly upset me last night, but this morning I'm feeling like I overreacted and that maybe he doesnt have to go to this one. I know he will go, but I just feel guilty making him leave work when I know we'll have alot of exciting ultrasounds to come. I think I'm overwhelming him with my emotions and b**tchiness and I'm only 5 weeks - I hate to see how it progresses, I try to be nice and normal, but I am like a crazed lunatic with no control.

Anyways, sorry for my rant.....input?
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  #2  
November 7th, 2012, 08:30 AM
BeachMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,219
{{HUGS}} momma. With my first, my hubby was at every ultrasound. After that it's been hit or miss with the others. With this baby, my first little sneak peek will be a day shy of 7 weeks and hubby is going to stay home with the 2 little boys, mostly because I don't want the little boys there for my physical and quick peek. Now for the big one (we're not finding out the gender), he will be at.
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  #3  
November 7th, 2012, 08:34 AM
Mandamail88's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 674
I just don't know, my emotional sappy self wants him there no doubt, but my realistic side says that maybe he doesn't HAVE to go to this one.

Thing is, I could say my mom can go, but she had the same response - "why would they do one that early, you aren't going to see anything" I just am excited, super excited, even if we can barely see anything, its still my baby I'm seeing, little or not, heartbeat or not, why can't everyone be as excited to see it as I am?
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  #4  
November 7th, 2012, 08:37 AM
tela's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i told my DH not to come with me on monday. he is a WAHD, so he needs to be home with our 3 y/o. arranging for alternative care is a pain, so i'd rather go myself. that said, i am scared. last time i was at the office for an u/s is when i found out our last baby's heart stopped beating. i was alone then too. but i consider myself a strong, independent woman (to a fault when it comes to asking for help), so i will do it on my own without complaining. like i said - i'm weird like that. they only appt i ask that my DH attend (for DS and this pregnancy) is the 20 week u/s.
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  #5  
November 7th, 2012, 08:39 AM
BeachMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would have him go with you. Make it a special day.

I'm with Tela I'm scared too. I've had 2 ultrasounds alone that didn't show a heartbeat and I was alone both of those times.
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  #6  
November 7th, 2012, 08:42 AM
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Dh isn't going, he has class and my doc is 2hrs away. Doesn't really bother me I will just bring him home a pic. He wouldn't be able to tell what we were looking at anyways, even at the 20 wk ultrasound he couldn't tell what was what.
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  #7  
November 7th, 2012, 08:48 AM
Krisnina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My dh has gone to every appointment with me. I don't want him to miss anything. It is really comforting to have hi there for support just in case something upsets me.
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  #8  
November 7th, 2012, 08:50 AM
Mandamail88's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks girls, I knew you'd understand. I am scared, even though I'm going into it knowing I won't see a heartbeat. I'm going to talk to him tonight now that I've calmed down today and say that I would really like him to go and make it a "special day" but that if it is a big deal to miss work that day then I will understand.
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  #9  
November 7th, 2012, 09:09 AM
Shea131's Avatar Peyton Rylee's Mommy!!
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We won't have an ultrasound until 8ish weeks and DH will go to that one. I have an appt on Monday to just confirm pregnancy and get all my dates and everything determined. It's totally preference. I would probably won't be DH there even if it was early.
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  #10  
November 7th, 2012, 09:42 AM
TerriLF's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 566
I'll have my first u/s at a little over 7 weeks and my husband won't be going. He works in the oil/gas industry and works anywhere from 10 minutes to 4 hours away and it is hard for him to miss work. This is how it has been with every pregnancy. He can't just take a few hours off, he has to take a whole day. He will come to our 20 week u/s but besides that I go alone (unless I have the kids then a relative will come to watch them) and relay the info back to him. It doesn't make him any less involved or excited, it is just our lifestyle.

I understand it is your first and you are excited. I remember being so excited with our first. I'm sure your emotions are all over the place like you said. That being said, I hope he gets to go with you since it is so important to you.
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  #11  
November 7th, 2012, 09:54 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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I hope your DH can go! Sounds like it means a lot to you.

For me, it's not such a big deal. He didn't go to my first last time, nor do I expect him to this time. Last time he went to at least 2 later ultrasounds, one for an amniocentesis (which I'll want him to do again) and the other for a growth check, when it looked like my belly was measuring small. Unlike some of the other ladies here, I am planning to take my son. I'll just park him in the stroller near my head and hope he doesn't get too restless.
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  #12  
November 7th, 2012, 09:58 AM
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Location: Austin, TX
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My hubby and I were living in different states when I had my loss earlier this year. He wasn't at any of the appointments until the last one to confirm that the miscarriage was complete. I would love for him to be at every appointment this time, but I also know it's not practical. As long as he's at the biggies (first time hearing a heartbeat, gender, etc) I'm ok with it.
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  #13  
November 7th, 2012, 10:08 AM
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My first U/S isn't until 8 weeks, so more than likely FH will go with me. He's a househusband for all intents and purposes (my choice) so he's pretty much free whenever.
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  #14  
November 7th, 2012, 10:43 AM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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DH will be coming with me to all u/s appointments. We've had two losses, so it would mean a lot to both of us to go. Plus we had a scare with DD around 11 weeks they couldn't find her hb so they snuck me in for a quick u/s. Luckily she was just tiny and bouncing around. It would have been hard if he wasn't there and things went the other way.
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  #15  
November 7th, 2012, 10:48 AM
DaniB+4's Avatar Super Moderator
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John doesnt come with me to appointments unless he happens to be off from work for some reason. I dont want him wasting his vacation and sick time. I would rather he save it up for when the baby is born. But I have also done this twice before so I think I am just a little more relaxed about it. If it was my first time I might feel differently.
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  #16  
November 7th, 2012, 12:10 PM
Kiam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mine will, he has so much leave owing, it's about time he took some.
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  #17  
November 7th, 2012, 12:50 PM
LilSunshine's Avatar ♥ Super Moderator ♥
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 32,184
My DH will...with having two losses, seeing the little bean at any stage is important. I can totally understand you wanting him there! Especially with it being your first, it's nice to have someone to hear the doc in case you have questions.
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