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I do. and I'm not young and I'm married with 2 other kids..LOL.. I know my in-laws will no be supportive because my husband and I have been very vocal in the past about not agreeing on more kids (I wanted more, he wasn't sure) and this is complete surprise ..well not complete, if you have sex there is a chance..lol..
Even if our reasons are different, I'm right there with you about not wanting to announce for as long as possible..
I don't think our families understand why we are choosing to have such a big family, but I don't really care, I am overjoyed! My parents don't understand because they very intentionally only had 1 child, and they just don't get it + they think that we don't live in a big enough house to hold the family we have. DH's parents don't understand because they don't like me, and they wish I would just go away + for them, their life completely revolved around the family, DH's mom stayed at home, DH's dad worked a construction job, and every free second was devoted to their 3 kids and nothing else. DH and I both have busy careers, DH travels a lot, and works a zillion hours, we have cocktail parties and other events for work during the evening and we frequently use babysitters while we work/travel/socialize. I think the sentiment is something along the lines of why would you have all of these kids if you aren't going to spend every waking minute with them. Neither set of parents understand because our 1st born has autism, and there is a strong chance that any of his full siblings will to (25% for a boy, and 5% for a girl).
I guess my point in all of this is that no matter what stage of life you are in, someone will disapprove of what you are doing, but if you and your BF are committed to loving and doing the right thing for your child, it doesn't matter.
how old are you? (totally don't have to answer if you don't want). I was 21 when I got pregnant with my daughter which in this day and age I don't really think is too young. However, like you, I was not married. My boyfriend (hubby now) and I had been together for 6 years and lived together and while I knew our families would ultimately be supportive I was still SUPER scared to tell them. My mom and my grandma I was most nervous about. I was worried they would be disappointed. I cried telling my mom. She had the best reaction I could have dreamed of! She kept telling me there was no reason to be upset and that a new baby was a great thing and how happy she was that she was going to be a Grandma (am an only child so no other grandchildren). So while I don't know your family or your situation I just wanted to share my experience because it turned out amazing! I hope the same goes for you! If you have a good relationship with you family they may not have the best reaction my mom had in the beginning but they will come around and love your baby to the moon and back!! Good luck and let us know how it goes! <3
Thank you Quantum_Leap for my fabulous signature!!!
I am, one because of miscarriage and 2 because it's our 5th baby. I've been battling with depression worried what people would think, but frankly I'm now at the point where I don't care. This was an amazing gift and I'm VERY thankful we got ONE baby without fertility treatment.
Mom of 2 girls and 3 boys
Missing my 4 angels too precious for this earth: 2/22/04, 12/13/06, 4/22/08, 11/16/12
I'm terrified to announce, but for another reason. FMIL and FFIL have both been diagnosed with cancer. I don't want to announce anything until I'm reasonably sure that we won't have to go back and tell everyone that we lost the baby. No one is in the frame of mind to handle that right now.
"Shake it up now, Sugaree. I'll meet you at the Jubilee. And if that Jubilee don't come. Maybe I'll meet you on the run."
We aren't telling my inlaws because they would just say rude things and they really don't care about their grandkids. After we lost the twins FIL actually told DH to go get fixed. My family will be super excited for us though.
I'm afraid to announce too. Like other posters, for a different reason. I'm of advanced maternal age with previous losses, and I don't want to announce because I'm afraid this bean won't stick. If I must grieve at some point in the future, I prefer to do it privately.
I agree with babieseverywhere. No matter what stage of life you're in, there will always be someone who disapproves if your actions and decisions. Surround yourself with supportive people and do the best thing for YOU, no matter what people think.
I'm in the same boat. Even though i'm 30, i feel like my mother will be disappointed because SO and I have only been together for a year and of course aren't married. I know i'm old enough to make these kinds of life altering decisions, but i would ultimately want my mother's support and for her to be happy. Surprisingly, i feel my dad will be more supportive. I've been thinking when would be the best time to announce since the holidays are coming up. I don't want to tell the entire family quiet yet, but it will come out soon enough. right now my plan is to tell my sister and my cousin 1st to get a feel for people's reaction. Then My parents and his mom. After that i think it will be pretty easy to tell everyone else. I Just praying for people to be kind with their words and judgments.
I see everyone has their own valid reasons to wait to announce. I think you should announce when it feels right to you. Thanks babieseverywhere and writergurrl for your support. You are both right, as long as SO & I are in this together to support our baby everyone else's opinion should not matter.