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I told my dad last night and today I went to drop my youngest off at my parents house because I was supposed to go to a meeting at work and she overheard me talking about the pregnancy to my dad. I told her that I was pregnant and while I did not expect her to be happy about it because she has voiced her opinion about me having more children, I did not expect her to kick me and my son out of her house. Nor did I expect her to say all the mean nasty things she threw my way about me and my husband and how I ended up with a low life as a husband. I expected her to be upset and I expected to hear how stupid I was I did not expect all the other stuff. My mom and I do not really get along well as it is but to hear those words come out of her mouth hurt. She has no faith that I will finish school, everything I do is not good enough for her. I junderstand her being upset, we lived with my parents for a few years when my husband lost his job and he got a job but my mom pushed me to go back to school so I had to quit my job to do that. I graduate in May with an associates degree. I am planning on going to the university in the fall t get my nursing degree (I amnot stupid I know that it can be a few years before I get into the program) I have a good job my husband has a good job we are living on our own now. While I will admit that it was not a wise decision to get pregnant I do not think I could ever tell one of my children that I thought they were stupid and that I raised a stupid child like she told me. And she did all this in front of my youngest son. She is a cold hearted person.
I am so sorry to hear that, Jenn. And even moreso, I'm sorry that YOU and DS had to hear it! What awful things to say to someone. I can understand someone maybe not being entirely supportive of a pregnancy if they don't feel it's the "right time," based on past circumstances. But to go that far is just uncalled for.
I hope it blows over soon enough... there's a new life coming into this world whether your mom likes it or not, and I hope she realizes that acting this way now could really jeopardize the future relationship with her newest grandchild.
We're all here if you need to talk!
*Thank you to *Kiliki* for my beautiful signature!*
And believe me, she would have acted this way regardless. She is just using your education as an excuse. When someone behaves like this, it is about what is in THEM, not you. I have seen people with graduate degrees and careers be treated how you have been treated. I do not even know what is wrong with those people who think they have the right to treat others like that, over the announcement of having another grandchild! Seriously!
I hope you cut her out of your life for a long time. Do NOT go begging back to her to please love you. If you do, then you will set the status quo that she can treat you like this and control you.
A sad story...I always wanted a big family. But my mother threw such an angry hissy when I was pregnant with my 2nd child (my husband and I both had college degrees, never lived off of or with our parents, had health insurance, my husband was an engineer and I was a teacher, except at that point, I was a stay-at-home mom) that I stopped having children for years.
One day, I looked at her and was disgusted that I let HER dictate so much of my life. I set forth to have more children. But I had just turned 35 yrs old. I had one miscarriage after another...age related.
I hate hate hate that I let her have so much emotional control over me. Do NOT let your mom have control over your emotions.
Hon I am so sorry you had to go through that, how horrible!! This is your life and YOU and your DH get to choose how many children you want to have, not anyone else. Do not let her get to you.
In my opinion, there is never a perfect time to have a baby, but the most important thing is if you have enough love to give. Children thrive more with love more than they do with the nicest clothes or best toys.
I am not trying to be offensive, but it sounds like your mom has some problems she needs help for that have nothing to do with you. Keep her far away this pregnancy if she continues like this- you do not need this abuse and negativity.
Thanks so much *Kiliki* for my awesome summer siggie!
That's horrible! I'm so sorry that she reacted so badly to the news. Your mother is someone who should be happy for you in these situations, not angry and insulting! If you both have good jobs and are doing fine, then why not? Sure, you're busy, but life is always busy in some way.
Thanks ladies, I appriciate your support. I spent the afternoon sleeping/crying but I am ok now. My mom does have issues, major ones. I know that but we have tried telling her to talk to a dr and she flipped out on us. She makes everything about her and she made this pregnancy about her. I have no intentions of talking to my mother again. I could care less if I see her again at this point. But I have 2 boys who love her and do not know how she really is (yet). I will not go crawling back to her trying to get her to love me, I have been doing that for 31 years and it hasnt worked yet so what makes me think it will happen now. My dad is not happy either and he thinks that it was a stupid decision but he says as long as he isnt left raising the baby he doesnt care (I have no idea where he got that from because he did not raise my other children). Anyways thank you for your support. this is going to be a happy pregnancy since it will likely be my last.
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