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So granted I haven't told anyone *but hubster and best friend*
But I was asked to sing at a memorial service for a program called grief share at our church.
I am not a cryer unless I am really mad or frustrated (or drunk lol)
So Saturday I go to see my Grandpa for quite possibly the last time (he is in hospice) and he doesn't know who I am.. and I went with my favorite aunt and uncle who are in the process of a pretty nasty separation not to mention the rest of my extended family all hate each other *looong story*
and I got the full story including my uncle contemplating suicide.
That was rough, but then Sunday I go thinking I will only be singing a few songs and then the service will go on.
Wrong, The songs were interspersed through out the service my big solo being the song blessings by Laura story. It basically talks about the possibility that your blessings and healing could come through your tears and difficult times.
And it came right after 20 people got up and talked about their loved one they lost... I was a bloody wreck hearing about husbands, daughters, grand babies who were taken from these precious grieving people.
So by the time I get up to sing I am choking back tears the last line
"what if my greatest disappointment or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy and what if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise"
I could not physically get a note out i was crying so hard. It was rough, the service was BEAUTIFUL but man talk about rough with these hormones surging!