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when did you feel connected

Forum: August 2013 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By Beachbabies

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December 13th, 2012, 01:21 PM
cypressmama's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 552
With dd I was excited about having her but it wasn't really till towards the end of the pregnancy that I felt connected with her.

When she was born there were no magic Disney swirls or rainbows and butterflies I didn't cry happy tears, I was just relieved and quietly happy.

It took a couple days of snuggling and breast feeding before it all hit me and I cried my happy tears lol.

This time around I am really excited but maybe its cause we havn't announced it yet it just doesn't feel real. Am I crazy or is anyone else experiencing this?

I feel like I should preface this with I LOVE being a mommy and can't wait to meet the peanut and I am not depressed at all,

Its just all surreal lol I don't feel like I'm grown up yet much Less an almost 30 year old wife and mother of two!!!

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December 13th, 2012, 01:30 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 376
With my pregnancies, the first trimester is always a swirl of getting used to the idea of having a (another) baby, so I'm right there with you. I feel like I emotionally break it down into trimesters too:
1st: Whoa, I'm having a baby!
2nd: This is my baby (feeling movement does a lot for me)
3rd: I have so much to do before this baby comes!

All that to say, I hear you. With my second I really struggled through wrapping my mind around loving another child as much as I loved my first. Shoot, I had a hard time even picturing it being a different person than my first son.

Since their births, I've had two losses this year on top of several other life changes so I know I'm keeping a big distance from this pregnancy right now and probably won't let my self begin to connect for a while.
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December 13th, 2012, 03:07 PM
cypressmama's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 552
Oh that is a great way to put it!
I think subconsciously I am protecting myself emotionally. I wish that all of us could have maintained our "pregnancy innocence" but regardless of how far Along you were a Loss is a loss and will always change you.

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December 13th, 2012, 05:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2,580
with my daughter I was attached in the first trimester because I was so scared of losing her . When she was born it was instant connection . My favorite quote is this "before you were formed in the womb, I knew you". This is how I felt when she was in my arms.
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December 13th, 2012, 05:44 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 6,296
I could have written your original post I feel the same way.
cypressmama likes this.

Thanks so much *Kiliki* for my awesome summer siggie!
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December 13th, 2012, 05:59 PM
annabelpolo's Avatar SAHMommy expecting #2
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 427
I felt the same way as you did with my first. When she was born, I also did not cry. I was extremely happy that she was finally born but I really didnt get emotional until the dust settled and I took her home with me. Once I had some time with her and getting our routine established, then I felt attached like ok she really is my baby and I really do love her!

As for this second baby, im not sure how to feel right now. Im not so sure how I will be able to spread mommy love around to two kids when Ive been giving my mommy love to my daughter for 3 years. I guess it's not as hard as I think it will be, maybe im just stressing myself out LOL

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December 14th, 2012, 02:27 AM
BOYSxTWO's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 239
When I saw the two lines...
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December 14th, 2012, 05:36 AM
mrskfet's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 722
This is terrible and I no longer feel this way, but when I first found out I was pregnant, the feelings I felt were anguish and despair never did I feel any anger or hatred towards my little rugrat, but I couldnt help but think how unprepared we are. We aren't financially stable, our insurance isnt very good, and we dont have extra money. That's all I thought about. It also didnt help that I didnt believe I was actually pregnant lol those tests can be tricky!

After a few days, without even realizing it, I became protective of my little one and I no longer had those feelings of impending doom. Now I cant stop worrying about my baby and I love it so very very much. I still dont feel "connected" though, I dont think that will happen until my u/s and I see that everything is okay.
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December 14th, 2012, 07:31 AM
Dandelion's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Neverland
Posts: 2,726
I've always felt instantly connected as soon as I knew I was pregnant. And seeing their tiny faces for the first time just makes it stronger. I don't ever want to put them down or let anyone hold them lol I do of course but I would rather them be with me where they belong.

{ chemical 10/26/12}
Thanks *Kiliki* for my lovely siggy!!
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December 14th, 2012, 10:12 AM
mamalamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,998
With my first I had no idea what to expect or just HOW much I would love her once she was here so while I was excited during the pregnancy, I don't think I was totally CONNECTED, it's hard to explain.

With the second, and with this one, the second I saw the 2 lines I was already in love, I think because I now know that is MY CHILD!!!! Like I said, sort of hard to explain lol!

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December 14th, 2012, 10:14 AM
Dandelion's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Neverland
Posts: 2,726
For me, I was also a little concerned about how I going to spread my love to 2 children but I found it just came very naturally.

{ chemical 10/26/12}
Thanks *Kiliki* for my lovely siggy!!
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December 14th, 2012, 10:12 PM
♥womanintheshoe♥'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,036
My experience with connecting has varied widely. Some pregnancies I felt connected as soon as I saw two lines and continued feeling that way the whole way through. Other pregnancies I didn't feel connected until two days before delivery. And a couple of times I've not felt connected until well after the birth (weeks and, in the case of my twins, months ).

This time I feel numb. It's too early and I can't let myself feel anything other than numbness just yet. Hopefully once I see/hear a heartbeat and movement I will feel connected.
One-time "I'm NEVER having kids!" woman to mama of 11. Love living the beautiful life I thought I never wanted. ♥

Also missing 11 precious little ones here with us but for a moment.

VERY cautiously expecting after two losses early 2013. Hoping and praying my Valentine's Day due date baby sticks this time.
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