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Forum: August 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
December 29th, 2012, 04:14 PM
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I was wondering if it would be ok to ask some questions regarding your pregnancy. well, not so much the actual gestating but more the what happens during/after with the babies mama and daddy to be?
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  #2  
December 29th, 2012, 04:27 PM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
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What would you like to know?

The surrogacy laws here in Florida are amazing, so they are 100% in their parents custody from birth. I have zero rights over the babies - since they're not blood related to me. I'm not sure how the birth certificates work, as their parents are not from the USA, but I know the process for them is rather painless.
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  #3  
December 29th, 2012, 04:35 PM
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yes! Thats the stuff I am interested in. This is such a neat thing to get to watch. I wanted to do surragoncy but I never did, and now I belive I'd be unacceptable. (too old?) Anything you'd care to share, I'm a dry sponge and ready to soak up and learn.

Like, once the babies are turned over 9so to speak) is that it? Will they give you updates etc? Will the parents be there for the birth? i understand in some cases there is monteray compensation, while I am not asking about that (doesn't seem important to me) I am interested in like...medical coverage. is that paid by your insurance,them or both? I am sure I will have more questions, if it's ok. I am fascinated and really wish I could do this.

My BFF was actually matched to a couple a few years back, but it was a case where her insurance paid the medical aspect and they gve her a monthly allowance for clothes/cravings etc. However right before they started the actual geting pregnant process she was laid off and lost insurance coverage and the couple had to walk away.
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Raymond 5
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  #4  
December 29th, 2012, 04:50 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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oh how sad, Tinky!

I wanted to be a surrogate but I can't because I've had 2 premature babies and received an incompetent cervix diagnosis.
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  #5  
December 29th, 2012, 06:12 PM
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I've never thought about being a surrogate except to my BFF in NC who was having a very hard time TTC. I have wanted to donate eggs though.
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  #6  
December 30th, 2012, 05:03 AM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinky View Post
yes! Thats the stuff I am interested in. This is such a neat thing to get to watch. I wanted to do surragoncy but I never did, and now I belive I'd be unacceptable. (too old?) Anything you'd care to share, I'm a dry sponge and ready to soak up and learn.

Like, once the babies are turned over 9so to speak) is that it? Will they give you updates etc? Will the parents be there for the birth? i understand in some cases there is monteray compensation, while I am not asking about that (doesn't seem important to me) I am interested in like...medical coverage. is that paid by your insurance,them or both? I am sure I will have more questions, if it's ok. I am fascinated and really wish I could do this.

My BFF was actually matched to a couple a few years back, but it was a case where her insurance paid the medical aspect and they gve her a monthly allowance for clothes/cravings etc. However right before they started the actual geting pregnant process she was laid off and lost insurance coverage and the couple had to walk away.
The amount of updates is up to them.. I know I will probably hear from them more at first, then it will dissipate. I honestly don't expect them to keep me updated like say weekly or even monthly, but I would love to know how they're growing over the years.

They will be here for the birth

They take care of all medical expenses as well as maternity clothing costs & gas expenses. They treat the pregnancy as if it was their own, and pay just as they would if IM was pregnant herself.

That is lame that they walked away over there, I think the basically rule of thumb is that even if insurance is involved, the IP's still need to cover copays, or any other out of pocket expenses. And in the grand scheme of thing, prenatal/delivery care is not that expensive for a uncomplicated vaginal birth. I went through an agency because I knew I wanted to do this BAD, I love that I'm helping my IP's complete their family & make a dream come true, but I wanted that peace of mind that they were stable, sound mentally, not criminals, etc.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhD_Bound_Mommy View Post
I've never thought about being a surrogate except to my BFF in NC who was having a very hard time TTC. I have wanted to donate eggs though.
Egg donation is AMAZING! This family for my IP's wouldn't have been possible without someones selfless egg donation.
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  #7  
December 30th, 2012, 08:55 AM
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I would love to be a surrogate but it's illegal here.
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  #8  
December 30th, 2012, 08:57 AM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
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Originally Posted by KASHWORTH View Post
I would love to be a surrogate but it's illegal here.
Sorry.. but that is ******* stupid to me. Illegal why? I had a home birth in Chicago that was "illegal".. Makes no sense, some laws.
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  #9  
December 30th, 2012, 09:24 AM
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I know, it's very dumb.
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  #10  
December 30th, 2012, 10:54 AM
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ok. More questions, do you give IM all the u/s and belly pics etc to IM or will you keep a copy? As far as you contacting them in the future, would it be appropriate to...lets say.. send birthday cards or something? I mean you are not the mama but you are like an aunt??
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  #11  
December 30th, 2012, 10:57 AM
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I have a question. And this may be personal. DH and I were talking about surrogacy before he left, and he feels that if you are carrying a child, even if it is not your egg, you are "blood" related because it's your body that is nourishing the child and your blood and body that nourishes the placenta and child. Do you agree with that? I had never heard it put that way but it made me think about it when he stated it.
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  #12  
December 30th, 2012, 11:07 AM
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Thats a good question ph. I was curious to that as well. If the egg was donated, and the semen was from dad, then you have that history to go off for certain family line conditions etc, but if YOU are carrying the babies would your history also be releveant?

IE; My ex has a rare blood disorder in his family line, that only effects males, but his sister could be a carrier and give it to her sons. So would family history include all three of you then?

The nerd in me is really loving the way this thread is turning out. BRING ON THE SCIENCE!
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Heaven-Leigh 15
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Raymond 5
Alexavier 3
Stoney 2
Korbyn 28 week miracle 5/17/13
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  #13  
December 30th, 2012, 11:25 AM
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Tinky, I'm glad you were thinking like us. This is really interesting! And I really hope we aren't making you feel like a science project or ostricised by our curiosity!
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  #14  
December 30th, 2012, 01:23 PM
JessKeller24's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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No, her blood never touches the baby, and it has none of her genes so in no way is it blood related.

I'd love to be a surrogate but with 3 csections I believe e only way I could is if a friend or family member asked me to. Also I'd only want it to be a friend or family member, I'd want to be part of the baby's life even though it wasnt mine.
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  #15  
December 30th, 2012, 01:34 PM
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I know with pre eclampsia, it happens because of how the placenta forms, which is genetic to the baby. This means it comes from egg and sperm, not carrier. So, if we used my eggs, hubby sperm and a surrogate w no pre e risk, she would be at a higher risk. Woah, never thought of it that way. Crazy.
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  #16  
December 30th, 2012, 01:38 PM
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That's all really good to know! Thanks for enlightening this subject more!
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  #17  
December 30th, 2012, 02:19 PM
c'est_la_vie's Avatar Is it nap time yet?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinky View Post
ok. More questions, do you give IM all the u/s and belly pics etc to IM or will you keep a copy? As far as you contacting them in the future, would it be appropriate to...lets say.. send birthday cards or something? I mean you are not the mama but you are like an aunt??
I wouldn't have their address. I can certainly e-mail them, which I'm sure we will keep contact on that day, I'm certainly not a "uterus for hire" as some people sadly see it, but I think it will depend on how comfortable they are with that. Ultimately, its their choice. I'm okay with either way it goes, I never will doubt how grateful they are, ever & that is more then enough for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhD_Bound_Mommy View Post
I have a question. And this may be personal. DH and I were talking about surrogacy before he left, and he feels that if you are carrying a child, even if it is not your egg, you are "blood" related because it's your body that is nourishing the child and your blood and body that nourishes the placenta and child. Do you agree with that? I had never heard it put that way but it made me think about it when he stated it.
Once the placenta is created, all the DNA is the child's. Not mine. Which is how it is for all pregnancies.. Like if a pregnant mother has HIV/AID's.. It's more likely the child would get the disease from birth, then from the actually pregnancy, since the blood inside the amniotic sac is the child's.. not the mothers.. If that makes sense? I didn't really get it at first but once it was explained more in-depth I got it. The egg/sperm are responsible for all the child's DNA.. Not the actual person carrying the fetus.
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  #18  
December 30th, 2012, 02:30 PM
ninja_mommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Lurking here. I've also thought about being a GS. Is there an age cut off and do you know if having a few miscarriages would affect your ability to be a surrogate?
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  #19  
December 30th, 2012, 02:34 PM
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Thanks so much for explaining that! That is what I always thought, but DH said otherwise so I thought maybe he was right and I was misunderstanding it. You are great at answering all these questions!
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  #20  
January 1st, 2013, 07:58 AM
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I feel smarter I had no idea the baby had its very own blood supply. I mean I knew certain things are a no-no becuase it can cross the placenta but I guess I thought that meant a blood suplly was shared.
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