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Forum: August 2013 Playroom

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  • 3 Post By Kelllilee
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  #1  
January 23rd, 2013, 06:20 PM
annabelpolo's Avatar SAHMommy expecting #2
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 427
I was thinking earlier about giving birth this time around and I realized, I'm going to have a 3 year old and Im not sure what to do with her! Should I let her come to the hospital with DH and I and experience child birth, or should she stay home with a relative? DH thinks we should have her at the hospital but I'm not so sure that's age appropriate. I feel like she may be freaked out by everything that happens while giving birth.

What is your opinion? Do you think it's way to early to let a child see and hear whats going on? Or do you have the kids come around after baby is born?
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  #2  
January 23rd, 2013, 06:23 PM
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Location: Houston, TX
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I think it depends on the child's maturity level. I planned on letting my newly 4 yr old stay with her grandma but I might reconsider that. I think she would do okay...and probably just ask a lot of questions. My 11 yr old, on the other hand, would freak the *beep* out! lol
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  #3  
January 23rd, 2013, 06:43 PM
mamalamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it depends on the child, that said, DD1 was three when DD2 was born, and DD2 will be three when this one is born, and there is no way I would ever have either of them in there LOL. For my sake AND theirs! DD1 LOVED visiting in the hospital though, afterward
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  #4  
January 23rd, 2013, 06:47 PM
Kelllilee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it's very beneficial for them to see the process. HOWEVER, I'm not sure I would have my kids there if I were giving birth in a hospital. I think the machines, IV, and everything would be difficult for them and a young child may have a hard time staying out of the way if things get fast and furious.

I have always had my kids at my subsequent births (age range of 23 months to 4.5). But I have births that don't involve all the "stuff" and I know I tend to be very calm and collected during labor. I also have a specific person in charge of them so they can explain what's going on, remove them if they get distracting or upset, etc...
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  #5  
January 23rd, 2013, 06:57 PM
FL Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: FLA USA
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I've been wondering the same thing. My boys are 7 and 9 and I would love to let them come experience it, but I'm not sure how they would handle it. We also have no family in the area, and only a few friends who we could ask for help. It's a good thing we have months to figure all this out.
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  #6  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:24 PM
carolinashore's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Virginia
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My oldest was 3 months shy of 3 when my second was born. He wasn't there for the birth (I had a c-section), but my mom brought him to see me not long after I got into my room. He visited on and off during my stay, and it really freaked him out. For the longest time after that doctor's offices scared him, he was afraid I'd go and not come home. All kids are different though...it wasn't how I imagined him reacting at all. My boys will be 7 and almost 5 this time, so I'm hoping visiting will go better.
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  #7  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:50 PM
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Chase was 3 and 1 month when Cole was born and I chose not to have him there. I agree that the machines and all the strange people and hustle and bustle of the hospital would probably scare and overwhelm the average 3 year old, not to mention seeing mommy in intense pain for possibly the first time.

A home birth or a birthing center would be completely different though.

Chase spent the night with my parents (I had a looong labor and Cole was born at 4am) and was the first to see his brother around 7am. I discharged myself that day so we were all back home together very quickly after the birth.

If this one is born at the hospital I will probably do the same thing. It will be Cole's first night away, but it's for a great reason and the boys are super close and comfortable with my parents.
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Last edited by Beachbabies; January 23rd, 2013 at 08:53 PM.
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  #8  
January 23rd, 2013, 08:54 PM
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hell no I don't want my three year old Madison to be there. depending on timing she will be with our neighbor or my parents.
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  #9  
January 24th, 2013, 05:22 AM
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I think it depends on the hospital. In NC they did not allow children in the room until you were moved into a recovery suite. In TX children under 12 are not allowed even in the hospitals. They have to go to the children's hospitals. (At least those are the rules in EL Paso.)
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  #10  
January 24th, 2013, 05:45 AM
Anchored's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm pretty sure here in Virginia you cannot have children in the room during the birth- they can be there during labor and then after, but they limit the # of people in the room and have an age limit set (I believe it's something around 15).

If they didn't have those rules, I still wouldn't opt to have my 3 year old in there... I don't think he'd understand the process and I think it would scare him if he thought I was in pain. Also, he's pretty much a huge Momma's Boy and I don't think he'd let me concentrate because he'd be wanting me... just a bad idea for him all around lol
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  #11  
January 24th, 2013, 06:21 AM
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I'm glad someone posted this. I actually wrote this long post about it last night and it never posted?? idk...
Anyway, when baby is born I will have a 3 and just about 6 year old. We have my dad and step mom to wacth them, but in the post I wrote I explained why that is such a problem and stressful. (maybe I wll rewrite the post later) anyway, I'm not concerned about the hospital. I'm a nurse (whose now a SAHM), DH is a PA and the kids are super comfortable there, they know its were daddy works, there's nothing scarey about it!! If you expose your kids to it without assuming they would be afraid, at a young age, they won't be. We go to the hospital for labs and tests. The kids love it! My 5 year old wants to be a doctor, and invent a xray machine that checks kid's blood without using a needle. He likes the hospital, but still doesn't like getting stuck! lol

I am a little concerned about them seeing me in pain, but I would be fine with just getting an epi early enough that they don't have to see that. I had one with my other kids, but I waited as long as I could so there was a time when I was in pain. I'm not a yeller when in pain, but still its obvious.

My main concern is having them in the room when its time to push. Assuming the hospital allows it, I don't trust they wouldn't get in the way. And if DH takes them in the hall then he misses the birth. I want DH the be able to focus on the birth because he really loves it obviously! (He delivered babies on his OB rotation) and I don't want him to be distracted by watching the kids. Also I will say that the birthing position in the hospital, on a bed legs up in stir ups might be awkard with the kids in there.

I wish I could find a sitter, but I don't know anyone that can be on call for when I go into labor. :/
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  #12  
January 24th, 2013, 07:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Casey99 View Post

I wish I could find a sitter, but I don't know anyone that can be on call for when I go into labor. :/
With my DH deployed this was my biggest concern, but I've made a couple of friends and one lives 5 minutes up the road, and she siad she didn't mind being on call to help me out when I go in labor and keeping them for the few days I'm in the hospital.
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  #13  
January 24th, 2013, 07:21 AM
Jenilope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This will be my 4th time. I've never had the kids in the delivery room. My kids are awesome, but they ALWAYS want to be touching me and I need to focus during labor and do not like to be touched. I also really do try to sleep when the epi first kicks in, and I vomit... a LOT during transition. So, I don't even know if the hospital allows it, and I don't know if the kids would be scared or grossed out, but I do know that I don't want any extra distractions so they're not invited.

My first was 15 months old with dd2 was born, dd1 was 3 and dd2 was almost 2 when dd3 was born. Both times, they rode along with Daddy to drop me off, and then Daddy took them to the grandparents or the babysitter, depending on whether or not grandma and grandpa were in town, and then came back to join me for labor and delivery.

By the time I had dd3 I actually didn't allow ANY visitors during labor OR during the 2 days after. I knew that was the only time I would ever really get for just her and me to be together and focus on establishing nursing and bonding because as soon as I got home we would always be in the mix of her sisters, too. So, I had no visitors and I don't regret it for a second, it was precious time. My husband always goes home at night to put the older kids to sleep in their own beds and spend time with them though, once the epi has worn off for me--and that's also important to make sure they are still getting attention and some normalcy.

Then, when it's time to come home, all the kids come to the hospital with Daddy and meet the baby while we get our discharge papers finalized and then we all go home together and invite the relatives over to see the new baby. This way, I get to focus in labor, have my bonding and recovery time with new baby, my big kids still get to sleep in their own beds and have a parent around at least 1/2 of every day, my kids are the first to meet the baby and I come out of it feeling ready to take on the crowd rather than exhausted by "entertaining" children and guests at the hospital.

That's just my preference though, which apparently is a little weird because the family were NOT fans of my no-visiting edict. They followed the rules though and got over it as soon as they saw the baby. It's only 2 days, I deserve to have that after carrying the baby for 9 months and pushing it out!
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  #14  
January 24th, 2013, 07:30 AM
BeachMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think you should ask the hospital. I never would have wanted my kids in there when they were 3. However, I am going to find out if my 9.5 year old can be in there. If we were to get a homebirth like we waned, my kids would be here, just wouldn't want them messing with stuff in the hospital. Too many cool looking things to mess with!
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  #15  
January 24th, 2013, 10:06 AM
soccermamatomany's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would not want my young children (under 10) at the birth because they need to be watched and I need the focus to be on me and baby. That being said, I will be having a repeat C-section and they won't be allowed in the delivery room anyway, which is just fine with me!
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  #16  
January 24th, 2013, 10:11 AM
Dandelion's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I also think it just depends on the child. We had dd with our babysitter while I was in labour but she was 2 & a half. We might have the kiddos waiting with us and family at hospital this time since they will be 6 & 4. Our hospital doesn't allow children in room during the birth though. I wouldn't want them there anyways though. I think it would just be too much and I'd be worrying about if they were ok lol instead of focusing on birthing
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Last edited by Dandelion; January 24th, 2013 at 10:15 AM.
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  #17  
January 24th, 2013, 11:37 AM
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I've heard of kids being present at a siblings birth, probably more with a homebirth than hospital, but my preference is to have them stay with a relative. I prefer for them to keep a normal schedule in the comfort of their own or a family member's home and let them visit once baby has safely arrived.
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  #18  
January 24th, 2013, 12:32 PM
annabelpolo's Avatar SAHMommy expecting #2
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: MI, USA
Posts: 427
I have to agree with all of you. I prefer to not have DD in the room while im trying to focus on giving birth. DH on the other hand believes it would be a great experience for her but I also dont want him to be distracted with her while Im trying to push this baby out. My mom and sister are flying up from Miami so I may just have them stay at my house with DD while im at the hospital.
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