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I am excited why can't others be!


Forum: August 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
April 15th, 2013, 03:03 PM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
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Ok so I am soo excited about adding another boy to our family but I don't feel like my family and friends are! When I tell people I am having a boy their response is "oh" or "at least you will get to keep your son's clothing" but I don't get many happy responses or even congrats on having a little boy! My family thought I would have another girl and thinks that girls are easier than boys because my son is more active than my daughter! I think other people are just getting over the fact that we are pregnant again and I also get "was this baby a suprise." Of course the answer is yes but I don't want people to think we are irresponsible or something, but I should be used to this since I got lots of comments when I was pregnant with my son being that they are close in age!

It's funny to me it seems like in the American culture most people prefer to have girls but in our friends cultures (Filipino and Mexican) they prefer boys! One of our friends is having her 4th girl and they were trying for a boy so when she found out we were having a boy she was a happy but I could tell a little jealous! So yes when I tell my friends from different nationalities I am having a boy they are really happy for us and having a boy is something that seems to be celebrated much more than a having a girl.
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  #2  
April 15th, 2013, 04:05 PM
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I think all babies are equally as exciting Although at our scan when we found out we were having a boy, my mom was pretty upset but like I told her, "she'll get over it!"

I'm happy for you guys
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  #3  
April 15th, 2013, 04:14 PM
Fins's Avatar Super Mommy
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I don't get why people aren't excited about boys either. ?? I'm thrilled at the opportunity to raise a little guy
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  #4  
April 15th, 2013, 04:34 PM
mom2K&G's Avatar Certified Dog Trainer
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I COMPLETELY Understand where you are coming from. When I called my mom to tell her we were having another boy she said "Oh.. well thats fine" She has never sounded excited about it. I think she really wanted a girl because she will now have 4 grandsons. Sometimes I feel like people/family aren't that excited about it.. but he will be blessing either way and very spoiled!!

I think raising a little boy is so much fun! Yes, I would have LOVED to have a girl because it's my last one, but two boys will great as well.
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  #5  
April 15th, 2013, 04:42 PM
mirdeemrlvs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm jealous your having a boy!! We're having out fourth girl! I know I'll be happy once she's here, but sometimes I can't shake that dh and I will never have a boy!! CONGRATS on your little boy. The only one you need to be concerned about is you, dh and your immediate family.
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  #6  
April 15th, 2013, 05:32 PM
ElliotsMommy13's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am excited about my little boy! I wanted a girl just because I am single and seemed less scary to have a girl than a boy.. but either way.. I have been told by many experienced mamas that its a million times better to have a teenage boy than girl.. so, where clothes options are lacking now in comparison, there are definite benefits to boys!
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  #7  
April 15th, 2013, 06:06 PM
carolinashore's Avatar Veteran
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Location: Virginia
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I'm so excited to be having another boy! I have gotten a lot of what you mentioned though. I have certain family members (not immediate) that act like having a boy is disappointing. Like if it's not a girl, it's not something to celebrate. It gets to me sometimes, especially when they overlook my sons, but I try to ignore it most of the time.
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  #8  
April 15th, 2013, 06:20 PM
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I wonder if it is some sort of weird cultural thing? I always think about how in the past people were prejudiced towards wanting to have a boy and how now things have swung the other way. I don't really get it. I think it is hurtful when my family tells me they hope I am having a girl (we aren't finding out). How does that make my son feel when he hears it? Of course I understand the draw of having a little mini me and I think a lot of it has to do with boys often (but not always) being the more energetic youngsters. But, people we need both! It makes me really mad.
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  #9  
April 15th, 2013, 06:24 PM
yvee80's Avatar SmileyMom
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We are happy for you and you guys are happy that is all that matters! I don't think that out culture celebrates a girl more I think it is so exciting because of the super cute, print, clothes and accessories you can purchase for a girl I honestly think that is the appeal for many people. For me personally I already have a girl and she was a breeze as a baby and toddler so I would like another one...everyone is different when it comes to raising a child and what gender is easier.

With the mouthful I said I will end with..."Dont worry be Happy " and dont let anyone steal your happiness !!!!!

Also there are some cultures tht still see women/girls are useless and men/boys are harder workers so they prefer boys.
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  #10  
April 15th, 2013, 06:46 PM
KASHWORTH's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I totally understand!! When I was preggo with DS we brought my mom to the anatomy scan (her first grandkid) and she was so excited and telling us how she was going to take us out to BRU to buy an outfit after we found out the gender and was hoping it was a girl. We found out it was a boy and she was like "oh... I have to get back to work.. here have $10 for an outfit" Really.... This time I don't care what people think, it's whatever. Though I was bummed at first it was a boy but it doesnt help having other people say stuff about it
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  #11  
April 16th, 2013, 12:55 AM
LadyGamer's Avatar Objection!!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KASHWORTH View Post
I totally understand!! When I was preggo with DS we brought my mom to the anatomy scan (her first grandkid) and she was so excited and telling us how she was going to take us out to BRU to buy an outfit after we found out the gender and was hoping it was a girl. We found out it was a boy and she was like "oh... I have to get back to work.. here have $10 for an outfit" Really.... This time I don't care what people think, it's whatever. Though I was bummed at first it was a boy but it doesnt help having other people say stuff about it
that is so upsetting.
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  #12  
April 16th, 2013, 07:17 AM
Husher's Avatar B & E complete me.
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I'm excited for you! I'm about to have my third boy, and I couldn't care less what other family members wanted anymore. We will love and adore this boy, and he's going to be every bit as awesome as his older brothers. Sure, it's going to be a madhouse, but so would a house full of girls when they hit their PRE-TEENS. *cringes*
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  #13  
April 16th, 2013, 07:37 AM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am having a boy, and people are so OTT congratulatory it's making me uncomfortable, because I know if we were having another girl, people wouldn't be as excited.

I know people's individual families have preferences, but in general, what I have seen is not a preference for boys, but an assumption that having the opposite gender to what you have is preferable. I don't see much reaction to the new babies at all if mom and dad already have one of each.

It's all a shame, and every baby should be celebrated the same.

Oh holy crap, I didn't realize I was in August until I posted. Please ignore me.
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  #14  
April 16th, 2013, 08:55 AM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
I am having a boy, and people are so OTT congratulatory it's making me uncomfortable, because I know if we were having another girl, people wouldn't be as excited.

I know people's individual families have preferences, but in general, what I have seen is not a preference for boys, but an assumption that having the opposite gender to what you have is preferable. I don't see much reaction to the new babies at all if mom and dad already have one of each.

It's all a shame, and every baby should be celebrated the same.

Oh holy crap, I didn't realize I was in August until I posted. Please ignore me.
No you are welcome to post in our board anytime! Were you part of the extended breastfeeding mommies?
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  #15  
April 16th, 2013, 09:02 AM
UrbanMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have seven sons, three stepsons, one who comes over regularly. I love my boys, they are so much fun!

My oldest 3 are all teenagers, they eat soooooo much. LOL. My 16 1/2 yo plays basketball and his season started last night. I love watching him play ball.

Boys are great. So are girls. It really only matters what YOU and dh want and are happy with.

I admit I wanted a girl this time around, but girls are outnumbered around here, and I would have been fine with a boys. Though I have no idea what we would have named him.
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  #16  
April 16th, 2013, 09:15 AM
mamalamb's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hear you!!!!!!!

Most of our friends are over the top excited for us that he is a boy which is great because that's fun, but I also hate to think what the reaction would have been if it was girl #3....

And my mom of course, is not thrilled...
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  #17  
April 16th, 2013, 10:40 AM
BirdsWifey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry! I hate that anyone has to experience this! When we had DS2 we got a lot of the "oh ok well you can try again" and it drove me crazy! We weren't trying for a gender. This time we get a lot of assumptions that we only tried for a 3rd to have a girl. Even strangers in public feel the need to show their relief when they hear baby is a girl. I feel so bad for my boys like what the heck?! They are so cute and sweet I don't know how anyone wouldn't enjoy them!
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  #18  
April 16th, 2013, 10:55 AM
soccermamatomany's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well I got the same reaction from our family over having this GIRL. I really think it depends on the circumstances. I really could have cared less, but our house is really overrun by girls. I love my son to pieces, but I really do like having girls. My DH is finally coming around to having another daughter, as is my dad about having another granddaughter. They were both heavily disappointed this is a girl.
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  #19  
April 16th, 2013, 11:44 AM
Sk8ermaiden's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2skyty View Post
No you are welcome to post in our board anytime! Were you part of the extended breastfeeding mommies?
No, Elizabeth weaned at 10 months. I had hideous supply issues. I was on pumping mommies for a while though?
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  #20  
April 16th, 2013, 04:34 PM
mirdeemrlvs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Husher View Post
I'm excited for you! I'm about to have my third boy, and I couldn't care less what other family members wanted anymore. We will love and adore this boy, and he's going to be every bit as awesome as his older brothers. Sure, it's going to be a madhouse, but so would a house full of girls when they hit their PRE-TEENS. *cringes*
we have three girls and are getting ready to have another in August. My oldest dd is 14- I tell ya- when the moodiness starts with one of us, it's a like a wildfire!!!! I have to really keep my emotions in check or it goes downhill fast :-)

Quote:
Originally Posted by KASHWORTH View Post
I totally understand!! When I was preggo with DS we brought my mom to the anatomy scan (her first grandkid) and she was so excited and telling us how she was going to take us out to BRU to buy an outfit after we found out the gender and was hoping it was a girl. We found out it was a boy and she was like "oh... I have to get back to work.. here have $10 for an outfit" Really.... This time I don't care what people think, it's whatever. Though I was bummed at first it was a boy but it doesnt help having other people say stuff about it
That's horrible! I hope she regrets that! Did you invite her this time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthysb View Post
I wonder if it is some sort of weird cultural thing? I always think about how in the past people were prejudiced towards wanting to have a boy and how now things have swung the other way. I don't really get it. I think it is hurtful when my family tells me they hope I am having a girl (we aren't finding out). How does that make my son feel when he hears it? Of course I understand the draw of having a little mini me and I think a lot of it has to do with boys often (but not always) being the more energetic youngsters. But, people we need both! It makes me really mad.
I think it stems from boys being needed to help out on the farm, heavy work, etc.. which is not as much needed anymore- AND a bad stigma has been placed on boys when they act like BOYS! When my son was in elementary school every single one of his friends was put on ADD medicine. I think it's way overdiagnosed.

I have the opposite. My husband's family completely ignores my girls and favors my nephews. We really didn't want to tell them we were having our fourth girl.
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