Log In Sign Up

has never been sooo disappointed in my life :(


Forum: September 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree12Likes
  • 1 Post By mommy2lilmen
  • 3 Post By mommyof4plus
  • 2 Post By Happy Song
  • 1 Post By lisa6
  • 4 Post By sophielee
  • 1 Post By mirdeemrlvs

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To September 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 25th, 2013, 06:27 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 32
My 16 yr. Old and 11 yr. Old daughters ganged up on me tonite and told me they want me to give the baby up for adoption.....I didn't expect anyone to jump for joy for this pregnancy but my family breaks my heart...and having a husband who refuses to have sexual relations with me because I got pregnant with this baby is killing me...its all too much to bear...and right now iam soooo angry with my family.....please help me not lose it? The only one who has been kind to me is my 13 yr old son who has always had a heart of gold.....and its going to get worse because I know my parents will also highly disapprove of this pregnancy...
Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 25th, 2013, 06:37 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
Posts: 2,919
Oh hun
I dotn want to say this to upset you BUT I am in the same boat.
Abortion came to words to me. Can you beleive the shock with that?
Im sorry your going through this. Right now its early days, I know its the hardest, trust me on that. I went through alot of bull crap with my 6th pregnancy of my oldest boy smoking weed and saying its cus I got pregnant, ya ok! You can tell your kids that your sorry they feel this way, and you are the adult and the baby is coming whether they like it right now or not. Also tell them that you raise them to be well behaved loving kids and to be disrespectful is just down right cruel. Also tell them they are welcome to their own feelings but to know you are the adult and that YOU make the choices.
I will be taking my own advice once we tell our kids, and let me tell ya, I may need your number, so I can have an ear to cry to. Cus seriously, why are we this scared of our own kids and why do they make us feel like crap? Honestly?? LOTS OF HUGS. you can PM me, I strongly urge you to.
katem10 likes this.
__________________
Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 25th, 2013, 08:28 PM
iCathy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fairfax, VA
Posts: 1,794
I'm SO sorry you both are dealing with this!! How can they be so against the baby? Is it because of room in the house, or they will have to share mom and dad more? I just don't understand!
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my sweet siggy!!

Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 25th, 2013, 09:21 PM
mommyof4plus's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Where the grass grows and there's lots of rain & trees
Posts: 442
What I do when I'm in your shoes is pray. I don't know if you pray, or what you think of this advice. I wanted to say "screw them all", but sometimes that isn't the answer. Sometimes the answer is to be patient, and slow to anger, even when other people's actions are hurtful and when you are misunderstood. God obviously wants you to have this little one. My advice is to look up to him and let him comfort you, while he deals with your family, and the answer will come soon. God bless.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 25th, 2013, 10:52 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
Posts: 2,919
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyof4plus View Post
What I do when I'm in your shoes is pray. I don't know if you pray, or what you think of this advice. I wanted to say "screw them all", but sometimes that isn't the answer. Sometimes the answer is to be patient, and slow to anger, even when other people's actions are hurtful and when you are misunderstood. God obviously wants you to have this little one. My advice is to look up to him and let him comfort you, while he deals with your family, and the answer will come soon. God bless.
Thank you. I hope she reads this to!

Quote:
Originally Posted by iCathy View Post
I'm SO sorry you both are dealing with this!! How can they be so against the baby? Is it because of room in the house, or they will have to share mom and dad more? I just don't understand!
My kids issue is with the crying and the time. The crying they get anxious about but thing is, they can get up and help out but they choose not to. The time, if I had their help around the house I would have more time for them all, but it seems with taking care of the babies, cleaning up after them, there is no time cus they just sit their butts down doing nothing even tho I enforce things. Guess its h ard when their dad, my ex, says Im the mom they should make sure that women do it all. IDK. Thats all Im seeing right now. Abortion came to their minds, cus when I brought up about possibly being pregnant I get, well take this drink to kill it. Hmmmm ok I wont tell them Im pregnant YET.
__________________
Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 25th, 2013, 11:25 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,921
That is so hard!

When I had my first my oldest adopted was upset he was about 12. I finally explained exactly graphically what an abortion really was. I never heard another peep from him.
mommy2lilmen and mirdeemrlvs like this.
__________________

Last edited by Happy Song; January 25th, 2013 at 11:30 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
January 26th, 2013, 07:30 AM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 32
I think we spoiled the kids too much.... their expectations and what they think they deserve are soooo high....and they worry the baby will interfere with that...thank everyone...iam sure it will workout........I knew the girls would be mad I didn't realize how mad...
mommyof4plus likes this.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
January 26th, 2013, 08:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 3,060
That is a terrible thing to say to you It would break my heart if my kids reacted like that too. I really think these next few months will be the hardest, but hopefully they will come around and realize what a blessing another sibling can be I also agree 100% with what mommyof4plus said. Praying for you and your family!
__________________

Josh and Kim - proud parents to Byron, Elijah, Abigail, Connor, Kara, and Baby
Reply With Quote
  #9  
January 26th, 2013, 08:55 AM
CARLACB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Posts: 1,034
I think happy had a good idea on what she did to her son. They are old enough to see some graphic abortion videos. I'm not for it or against it but the reasons they are saying they don't want you to have the baby are selfish. Your husband can just deal with it since you didn't get pregnant by yourself. My biggest worry is that they will be purposely mean to the baby when he/she gets here. Please don't tell me that your children really told you to drink something so the baby can die. That bothers me. Do you think you all could go talk to a therapist or something?
__________________





Blended Family of 5 and 1 on the way.
Makhari 6
Maleaha 5
Coty, Jr 7
Reply With Quote
  #10  
January 26th, 2013, 12:06 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,586
I'm so sorry. I would be heartbroken too.
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 26th, 2013, 12:49 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 386
I'm sorry. I can't imagine if my kids were anything less than supportive. **hugs**
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megan, mom of:
DD ~ September 2005
DS ~ October 2007
Reply With Quote
  #12  
January 26th, 2013, 12:53 PM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 32
Thank everyone....its just my 2 girls who are upset...my son is excited.....and we haven't told the 2 youngest kids yet......I wasn't expecting them to be thrilled but I camt believe they told me to give the baby away!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
January 26th, 2013, 01:10 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 324
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2lilmen View Post
My kids issue is with the crying and the time. The crying they get anxious about but thing is, they can get up and help out but they choose not to. The time, if I had their help around the house I would have more time for them all, but it seems with taking care of the babies, cleaning up after them, there is no time cus they just sit their butts down doing nothing even tho I enforce things. Guess its h ard when their dad, my ex, says Im the mom they should make sure that women do it all. IDK. Thats all Im seeing right now. Abortion came to their minds, cus when I brought up about possibly being pregnant I get, well take this drink to kill it. Hmmmm ok I wont tell them Im pregnant YET.
Wow. There's no way to say this nicely: your kids need a radical change in how they view things. First of all, they need to be told it's not about them. It's not their choice. It's your choice, your baby. Second, they need to learn some respect. They need to respect women. I see you have several older boys--if what you say is true about the information being fed to them by your ex, they'll grow up to be husbands who never lift a finger and don't respect their wives. I'm sure your boys are awesome kids, but take hold of the reigns again before it's too late. The advice to get counseling for your family (and the other mom) is a great one. Hell, we ALL could use that.

I'm sorry I'm sounding offensive, but that just shocked me. It's not just kids being kids. It's blatant disrespect and narcissism.
__________________
Excited for #4!!

Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 26th, 2013, 06:51 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Cleveland/Athens Ohio
Posts: 7
i cant even imagine what youre going through especially since thats your husband. When your married your supposed to have babies and create a family so dont let anyone make you feel like its wrong for you to keep that baby... I just found out im preggo tuesday and my babys father wants me to kill my baby he thinks im dumb but god wont give us anything we cant bare and you can do this !!!
__________________
Much Love *DexiWexi*
Reply With Quote
  #15  
January 26th, 2013, 09:43 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
Posts: 2,919
Quote:
Originally Posted by sophielee View Post
Wow. There's no way to say this nicely: your kids need a radical change in how they view things. First of all, they need to be told it's not about them. It's not their choice. It's your choice, your baby. Second, they need to learn some respect. They need to respect women. I see you have several older boys--if what you say is true about the information being fed to them by your ex, they'll grow up to be husbands who never lift a finger and don't respect their wives. I'm sure your boys are awesome kids, but take hold of the reigns again before it's too late. The advice to get counseling for your family (and the other mom) is a great one. Hell, we ALL could use that.

I'm sorry I'm sounding offensive, but that just shocked me. It's not just kids being kids. It's blatant disrespect and narcissism.
First of all I didnt mean to over run her thread
I also am not taking offense to this what so ever. My 2nd oldest is the sweetest most kind boy EVER. he lifts finger here, he helps me more than words can say WITHOUT expectations, just to hear him say that, shocked the Sh!* out of me to say the least. I do think, and almost positively think he will be ok with it. I jsut wonder how much influence my ex had in that. My oldest, he will be mad. He wont have any respect and I wont say much on that department cus we have worked hard to get him to change, and hes changed a fair bit and I fear he will backfire with the new baby and I am back to square one. After this weekend with my ex having the kids, I have decided how I am going to approach this, and the boys wil be mad if they arent happy on the new baby. My other 2 of the older 4 are going to be shocked but they will love the baby nontheless. I have an autistic son, my 5th son who is the older 4 half brother and they are having a hard time with that, so I dont know how to tell them really. except that I am the adult and they have to learn to deal with it and if they knew what abortion was they would think twice. My 2nd oldest, once I explain will bawl his eyes out.
__________________
Annick
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 16, Justin 13, Kevin 11, Jayson 10, Bryce 4, Seth 3 & Kade 1
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed with 1 Autistic and 1 Down Syndrome child
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alyssa Marie Jade
September 1, 2013 @ 11:01pm 6lb 8oz & 18.5in
Emerg C Sec, Down Syndrome blessing, AVSD, Hirschsprungs, G tube
58 day NICU stay, Sept 1- Oct 29 2013





Reply With Quote
  #16  
January 26th, 2013, 10:52 PM
mirdeemrlvs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,464
lurking over here from the August board... I am due the end of August and am always late, so I figured I might get to know you guys... anyway- just wanted to give you HUGS... so sorry! My husband was very non supportive of one baby, and I ended up having a m/c. That shut him right up! God knew what he was doing- we haven't told my inlaws yet, and I don't expect alot of support out of them, and I haven't told my oldest son either. I don't know what he will say- just try giving it time for them to get used to the idea. Take a deep breath and try to remember to stay healthy for you and baby!
mommyof4plus likes this.
__________________
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him. Psalm 127:3



Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:03 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0