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BTDT Moms! Let's Talk Labor Pain....


Forum: September 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
March 28th, 2013, 06:02 AM
MandersM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,193
I only got a few stories in & will have to come back to read this...much later!! My stomach is doing flip flops!! I'm so nervous about the l&d part of pregnancy that I actually kinda refuse to talk about it this early!! I kinda just want to enjoy bein pregnant a little longer before I have to think about that part! lol
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Expecting our first September 22, 2013!!
Positive HPT: 01/15
1st GP Appt: 01/23
2nd GP Appt: 02/20 - wasn't able to pick up a heartbeat
3rd GP Appt: 02-21 - due to spotting, still no hb
1st U/S: 02/25 - 10wk u/s due to spotting > saw the hb and our little blob!!
NPT U/S: 03/15 - got a wave from our LO!! And all looks well. We went public!!
3rd GP Appt: 03/22 - heard the hb...157!
1st OB Appt: 04/22 - LOVE my OB. She doesn't rush, as is pretty knowledgable about crohn's and pregnancy. hb = 159!
20wk u/s: 05/06 - Loved seeing our little babe again! Tech was very tight lipped though, and no medical info was given. And we're holding off on the gender until the reveal party!!
Reveal Party: 05/18 - IT'S A GIRL!!!!
OB Appt: 05/22 -




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  #22  
March 28th, 2013, 07:26 AM
caseyswife123's Avatar Loving Mommyhood<3
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Location: CT
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Manders- I'm starting to think this was a bad idea, lol!!
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  #23  
March 28th, 2013, 07:31 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 3,060
So, in your birth experience, how would you describe the pain? In one word, intense
Of the contractions? It feels like you entire stomach knots up and cramps horribly - have you ever had an awful charlie horse in your calf (so bad that it was difficult to breathe and you would do almost anything to make it stop)? It feels like that in your stomach (by stomach, I mean your entire abdomen).
Of the actual pushing? Pushing wasn't all that painful - it felt more like a relief to me. The only discomfort would be the "burning ring of fire" as the baby crowns. It will feel like your vag is burning as the skin stretches.
Of the recovery? I was a little sore with my last three, with my first I had 7 stitches so those would sting when I peed and stuff, with my second I only had 3 stitches - none with the others.
With an epideral? Mine tend to only take on one side so it is a mixed bag. It kinda makes the pain seem worse on the side that isn't numb - I don't really know.
Without an epideral? It depends I guess - I have had pitocin with all my kids but one. Once the contractions are right on top of eachother with only 30 seconds in between it can get almost unbearable for me. With my other one I had a partial placental abruption so my labor was fast, and very painful - again it was almost like being on the pitocin. I am hoping to have a pitocin free birth this time - maybe I can go without an epi if I do
Was it harder or easier than you thought?? It was easier than I thought until they started the pitocin, then I would just get lost in the pain - so with the pitocin it was much harder than I thought and I have a high threshold for pain
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  #24  
March 28th, 2013, 07:55 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
Caseyswife and Manders...sorry if we guys are scaring you. Definitely not our intention. Try to focus on the fact that we all did it and are here in the DDC ready to do it yet again. It can't be that bad right? Even the wimpiest of women have babies. Think about remote & third world countries where there is no pain relief help. Women who simply cant tolerate pain are everywhere. Even they have babies and are ok after that right? You guys can definitely do it. Just be mentally prepared is all we are saying.


I want to share this story about my grandma, that my mom told me. My mom was about 11 or 12 when my grandma was pregnant with her 6th baby. Apparently no else was at home and it was just my grandma and my mom. My grandma was in labor. But realized that if the baby came that night, she better be prepared. And she decided to cook some food; Haul and store water (They did not have running water at home then. - they had to draw water out of a well nearby and bring it home in pots.) She was doing all of this while in labor. My mom was helping her. When she was done drawing about 10 pots of water...she just sat down at the foot of the well and asked my mom to run and fetch her grandmom(my grandma's MIL) who lived a couple of miles away. My mom literally ran on foot to get her grandma and my grandma slowly walked home. By the time her MIL came, she was already pushing out the baby. Finally baby was born and that night my grandma apparently went to the well again to finish drawing the water and came home and actually served the meal that she had cooked earlier to the family. Childbirth was like just another little event in her day!! I was amazed by this. I am sure it wouldn't be this easy for everyone. BUT just wanted to say, it is possible !! With all these pain filled stories that you read, I wanted to throw in a good easy labor story for motivation
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Last edited by Anitha; March 28th, 2013 at 08:09 AM.
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  #25  
March 28th, 2013, 08:20 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
There's tons of easy labor stories, it's just those are less fun to tell ...all three of my mom's were pretty easy & completely unmedicated - I was the longest (her first) induced no less and took only 4 hours. One of my aunts actually gave birth as they were wheeling her into the hospital (45 mins). So don't be scared off, everyone's birth experience is different and just because some of us had a tough time doesn't mean you will.
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  #26  
March 28th, 2013, 08:47 AM
MandersM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,193
Oh, I like hearing the worst of the worst. I find that it then makes whatever I'm going thru seem not so bad!!
I'm just not ready to think about it yet. My cooch gets sore & I do involuntary kegels just thinking about it! *shudders* lol
__________________
Expecting our first September 22, 2013!!
Positive HPT: 01/15
1st GP Appt: 01/23
2nd GP Appt: 02/20 - wasn't able to pick up a heartbeat
3rd GP Appt: 02-21 - due to spotting, still no hb
1st U/S: 02/25 - 10wk u/s due to spotting > saw the hb and our little blob!!
NPT U/S: 03/15 - got a wave from our LO!! And all looks well. We went public!!
3rd GP Appt: 03/22 - heard the hb...157!
1st OB Appt: 04/22 - LOVE my OB. She doesn't rush, as is pretty knowledgable about crohn's and pregnancy. hb = 159!
20wk u/s: 05/06 - Loved seeing our little babe again! Tech was very tight lipped though, and no medical info was given. And we're holding off on the gender until the reveal party!!
Reveal Party: 05/18 - IT'S A GIRL!!!!
OB Appt: 05/22 -




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  #27  
March 28th, 2013, 09:49 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,861
I just have to say that I loved reading everyone's stories!!
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  #28  
March 28th, 2013, 10:15 AM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,928
I had 2 different birth experiences so i'll just answer your questions for each.

My first i was induced early with cervidil (cervix ripener) at 38w5d due to chronic high bp and growth restriction. I had my membranes stripped in office that afternoon and went in to L&D and got cervidil implanted around maybe 6 or 7pm. by 11pm i was in labor and they removed the cervidil at 1am because i was in HORRIFIC PAIN, i now describe as the black hole b/c i blocked most of it out. it was one contraction on top of the next with no breaks. they were really really painful but not really doing anything. having had another baby since i can say it wasn't that i didn't know what to expect, it was just really that bad.when the nurse checked i was at 2.5 and my dr wouldn't let me get an epi until i was at a 3. so i let the nurse stretch my cervix to 3cm so i could get my epidural. after that it was smooth sailing. my labor progressed relatively quickly after i rested and i went from 4cm to 10 in about 2 hours. i had a lot of pressure with transition but i didn'tknow what it was and no one thought i could be progressing that fast so they gave me more epi about 30 mintues before i had him. as a result i couldn't feel ANYTHING and ended up getting really sick and i slept for about 2 hours after i had him. not exactly ideal but it was my first time and i had no clue what to expect. overall though it was fine once i got my epidural. i only pushed for maybe 5 minutes. we had to stop in the middle b/c i threw up in my hair. lol...anyway. my recovery was fantastic. i did get one stitch for a tiny paper cut size tear. i also got lucky and my belly went down fast i just looked kinda saggy. i was up and showering later that day. no problem.

with my daughter i went to the dr for my 39w check up and was 3cm and about 60% effaced. he went ahead and 'stirred things up' which was totally painless and then we went ahead and decided to schedule an induction for the next day, purely out of convenience...friday, long weekend, not having to worry about child care, etc. my body was ready. so i went home and immediately started having contractions. i contracted on and off all day by that night they were about 5-7m apart and then slowed as we went to bed. went ahead and got up at 5am and showered and went into the hospital. the nurse checked me when we got there and my contractions picked back up and were regular. they got me set up and when she came into check me at 7 i was 4cm and my water broke while she was checking me. after that it went really fast. my contractions were off the chart but manageable. i went ahead and decided to get an epi and by the time we were done with that i was 6cm. after my epi i had a lot of pain in my right ovary area which freaked me out but the nurse said to roll b/c the epi probably just wasn't numbing that area. i took a nap for about and hour and felt the urge to push. sure enough i was 10cm and ready to roll. so about 4 hours total start to finish. then i had to WAIT 30 minutes for my dr to come, and she was born in about 2 pushes. it was AWESOME. i felt everything but there was no real pain. every birth should be so great i had the same tear with her that i had with my son but no stitch this time. i was up and around again pretty much immediately. i have been fortunate to have 2 pretty simple births. i was a bit more uncomfortable in the weeks following her birth but overall it was nothing big.

so for me it was better than expected. i was afraid of tears and episiotomies and whatever. my son had a very small head (about the size of a 35weeker at almost 39 weeks) my daughter was a lot bigger but still did the same amount of 'damage'. i think every birth is different and there are different challenges though. just never know what to expect.
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  #29  
March 28th, 2013, 10:32 AM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Baltimore, MD
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Quote:
My cooch gets sore & I do involuntary kegels just thinking about it! *shudders* lol
That's what happened to me as I read the story of that 15lb baby being born in the UK! lol
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  #30  
March 30th, 2013, 05:07 PM
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I have not read the other posts yet, so I may just be repeating much of what everyone else has already said.

So, in your birth experience, how would you describe the pain? "Pain with a Purpose" is the best I can do to describe it. It hurts, but it's so much different than an injury or any other type of pain. You know that the pain has a purpose and that in the end you will have a wonderful reward, a beautiful baby that you have been waiting months (or years if you were TTC for a long time) to finally hold. You KNOW that the pain can't go on forever, and that you'll get to a point where in an instant, you have this lifechanging moment that the pain ceases to matter and almost completely goes away. Mentally and emotionally, labor pain is SO much easier to deal with for me than any type of injury or sickness pain.

Of the contractions? Well, this depends. In the beginning, it's like a bad menstrual cramp that comes and goes. That progresses into feeling like a leg cramp that comes and goes. At the very end (transition, the phase before pushing) it felt like that moment that you pull or strain a muscle. That pain, but it lasts for a minute or so. You get a break for a minute, then it comes right back. Sometimes it starts to go away, but then before you get a break it comes back (double peaking ocntractions). It is unpleasant and painful and the hardest part of labor, but it is not unbearable.

Of the actual pushing? For me, it was sweet, sweet RELIEF! Both times, I got the urge to push BADLY. With my first in the hospital they yelled at me NOT to push until the doctor got there. I tried not to push, and it was excruciating. Far, FAR worse than the (induced) labor and transition I had just gone through. After the second contraction of trying to not push, my body started doing it on its own, and I gave in. The relief was IMMEDIATE. With my second (homebirth) I also got the strong urge to push. This time I was "allowed" to push, and I felt the same relief. Not pushing was much worse than pushing. I don't remember any pain at this point in either birth, just that I had to keep pushing to keep the pain/misery of not pushing away LOL

Of the recovery? With my first, the recovery was miserable. This had nothing really to do with the birth, but the medications my OB put me on that nearly killed me. With my homebirth, I went shopping for baby clothes 8-9 hours after he was born. I was up hopping over the baby gates to answer the front door for my (schocked!) midwife the next day.

With an epideral? n/a

Without an epideral? Both experience were without an epidural. The hospital birth was far more difficult and painful, between the induction and being forced to lay on my back in bed. (the nurse threatened to give me a catheter because I was using going to the bathroom as an excuse to get up "too much") Being free to move around in labor makes such a huge difference.


Was it harder or easier than you thought?? The hospital birth was harder than I thought. I hadn't expected to be induced (and it turns out that I didn't need to be) so I hadn't expected to be quite so confined to the bed. Also, just knowing that pain meds were there and all I had to do was ask, made it SO tempting at times which made going med-free much more difficult. I don't know whether it was because I'd been through it before and knew what to expect, because I was better prepared, or because I was at home, but my homebirth was much easier than I expected!

I will add that with both births I tore a little. Local anesthetics don't work for me, so the worst part of BOTH births BY FAR was feeling myself being stitched up. Feeling the needle and the thread being pulled through, the tug of getting it tight. ugh. it was awful. With my hospital birth they stuck me with narcotics (nubaine? stadol? demerol? I don't remember) without telling me, so I ended up so loopy and out of it that I was unable to react in any way; just lay there silently in torturous pain. With my homebirth I was literally crawling up the bed on my back screaming. My midwife was crying because she felt so bad. I am hoping and praying that I don't tear this time because I really, REALLY do not want to go through that again!
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  #31  
March 30th, 2013, 07:04 PM
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My labour and delivery was rather tramatic..but we are both here and healthy now.

I started having regular contractions around 31 weeks. That sucked. At 35 weeks they finally believed me that I was having contractions and didn't have a bladder infection when she checked me at my regular apointment and was 3 cm dilated and completely effaced. She told me to expect my baby to be born in a day or two....or 10 days later. I was in early labour for 10 days....TERRIBLE.

When I did start to progress, DS was posterior and caused the most terrible excruitating pain of my life. THere was absolutely no relief between contrations, i was crying onthe way to teh hospital...longest 30 min drive in my life.

WHen i got to the hospital i was contracting every 4 minutes and was 4 cm dilated. Because i was Preterm, I had to be attached to the fetal heart rate monitor and the monitor to measure contractions. I basically had about a 2ft leash. I had wanted to try with out an epideral and use the birthing balls, jacuzzi etc. but because of having to be constantly monitored and the horrendous back labour, that plan went out the window. I got my epideral and progressed to 6 cm which is when they broke my water (they wouldn't break my water untill i was 5 cm because i was preterm they wanted to make sure my body was fully committed to labour...due to the 10 days of early labour they wanted to make sure this was it.) and then after another 2-3 hours was 10 cm.

Because of DS being posterior, they had me push for about an hour so he was lower and they could try to turn him. When i stopped, I had to curl up into a ball for a while and try a couple different positions. He turned 1/2 way.

I pushed for about another 2.5 hours and couldn't get him out. At this point I was exhausted and couldnt do it anymore on my own. The dr. decided to use a vacuum extractor and to help turn him. DS's heart rate dropped so the Dr gave me an episitomy and YANKED him out. She could pull him out faster then she could get me to the OR.Then I wouldn't stop bleeding..to the point where they took the baby from DH because they were worried.

My epideral was pretty good. I could feel to push and could tell when I was havinga contraction to push. I still felt pain because of the back labour but nothing compared to what I felt prior to the epi. I even got alot of "boosters" of pain meds because of hte posterior thing. It was an EXCELLENT decision.

Recovery? DS was born at 11pm and was taken to the NICU. I slept all night, woke up tired but not in pain. I lost alot of blood due to my placenta clotting because things took too long so because of that, it took me about 6 weeks to start feeling normal again. My stiches never bothered me and I wasn't really in pain aftwerwards, just weak. Ididn't really get to recover in the hospital as I was constantly walking back and forth to the NICU the first 3 days.

This time, I am refusing to push if my baby is posterior. I will insist on a C-section. I know they aren't the best to recover from but DS has brain damage from blood clots from the placenta because things took too long. I would like to try a natural delivery if circumstances allow it.
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  #32  
March 31st, 2013, 05:25 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So, in your birth experience, how would you describe the pain?

At first achy, then intense pressure.

Of the contractions?

First my natural contractions start out achy down low. Sometimes barely noticeable, just like real light period cramps on each side of my lower belly. But then I may or may not realize the crampy feeling is there, then is completely gone for 10-15 minutes, then shows up again. Then I think *hmm* if I'm paying attention.

Gradually the coming and going happens more frequently. You will say, hey, now that achy feeling is here again and it's only been 8 minutes instead of 10. If it's real contractions it will almost always *completely stop* and you will feel fine in between the contractions. So, for first time moms, it's usually at least 10-15 minutes between contractions at first and you feel totally fine, and then you have another low crampy/ache feeling. To me, it feels exactly like period cramps at first.

As the contractions get closer together, the pain becomes more concentrated. It may not *hurt* a lot, but feel intensely achy or pressure. I still only feel it way down low in my lower belly.

I want to emphasize that some ladies have intense pain, and some do *NOT*. So you should definitely be prepared to *relax* as much as you can during a contraction (I mean, relax every fiber of your being, even your face) which greatly lessens the pain of the contraction. The more you tense up in fear, the more it will hurt, and it is a vicious cycle. This is my best advice here, so listen up. LOL I seriously think this is THE most effective thing you can do to lessen the pain. That, and don't pay attention to anyone else. Don't let people talk to you and have a contraction hit you by surprise. Focus on how you feel and *physically relaxing* every muscle in your body while your uterus pushes down.

Of the actual pushing?


Contractions during pushing actually come further apart than the contractions prior to that (which dilate the cervix). Once your cervix is fully dilated, there is usually a longer pause before you get a pushing contraction. Contrary to popular belief, your *uterus* pushes down on the baby and will push the baby out, whether you actively bear down or not. But your bearing down definitely helps and speeds up the process. But make sure you are working WITH your contractions and push when you FEEL like pushing or you can tell you are getting pushing contractions, not in between contractions (even if someone is "counting" and telling you when to push. And do NOT get overly excited and push before your body is ready to start the pushing because your cervix can swell and make everything harder and more painful). Listen to your body. Also, pushing contractions are *usually* less painful.

This is all if your baby is in a good position, head down, not posterior, etc. Posterior changes everything (pain in the back instead of all in the front, etc), as does breech, obviously. Thank God, I have never experienced a baby in a bad position.

Of the recovery?

After 3 totally natural births, recovery was the easiest and fastest, hands down.

After a c-section, it was horrible for me. I was in pain for weeks and it killed my stomach to laugh for 2 weeks straight. I didn't feel myself for a long time.

With an epideral?

I had an epidural with my first (I was pressured into it and gave in - grr) and though I obviously had NO pain, I was hideously numb and couldn't put my own leg back on the table when it fell off. I couldn't feel contractions at ALL (though I thought I could because I didn't really know) and I had someone counting to tell me when to push (which I don't think was even with the contractions - sigh). I probably wasn't even pushing right because I didn't feel like pushing and was so numb. I think it made labor longer than it would have been. I felt awful afterward. I do not recommend. :)

Without an epideral?


Much better. Obviously, I felt a lot more, but I was glad to not be numb and experience the birth. It was MUCH shorter (also was my 2nd birth, though). With my 2nd I did have stabbing pain down low in my front (like someone was literally stabbing me with a knife) and didn't know that wasn't necessarily normal. Then when he came out the midwife said he had his fist right on top of his head (nuchal hand) so no wonder!! A big round head is a lot less painful than a pointy little fist. yipe yipe. :)

With my 3rd, I had no fists pressing on my cervix and she was born 27 minutes after I got to the hospital. I did really well with relaxing that time (I'd practiced beforehand) during contractions, and though I was in labor all day long, I was dealing just fine and the contractions were much less painful (probably a combo of relaxing, plus no fists).

Was it harder or easier than you thought??


Depends on the labor. :) My 3rd was by far the easiest. I was also in the best physical shape, which I really think helps with endurance, pain tolerance, etc. I knew I was in very active labor when I got to the hospital, but I didn't know I was *that* close to giving birth. If we left a half hour later, she would have been born in the car! The midwife hadn't even come in to check me out yet when I had to say to a nurse who was looking at the monitor instead of me: "Ummm, I think I'm pushing (involuntarily)." She didn't say anything, as I think she was concentrating on what she was doing. Then my water broke when I was laying down and it shot clear past my feet and onto the floor like an epic super-soaker, lol. She still wasn't looking so I said, "Whoa! Umm, my water just broke." Suddenly she ran out of the room and brought in my midwife. She took a look down there and said "bring me my table (of tools or whatever)! I need a warmer, STAT!" I was literally grinning and laughing at how crazy this was and how fast it was going. I pushed a few times and the last push I said "ow" (when I ripped a bit), and she was out. It was amazing. So that's why I always say that prepare for pain, yes, but don't resign yourself to it. Think positive and RELAX because not everyone has horrible torturous pain. You can find a lot of easy birth stories like this if you look and it helps to stop the repetitive "doom and gloom" thinking about labor that most of us tend to do.

My 4th was worse than I thought it would have been because it was my 4th, my labor before that was so easy, etc. BUT I was induced with my 4th and that makes it *so much worse* IMO. Your body isn't totally ready (obviously - or you would go into labor on your own), so it's usually (not always) rougher going. Pitocin contractions are known to be more painful than natural ones (even OBs will tell you this). So I try everything I can besides pitocin when I need to be induced. Once it got to the point when they could break my water, then they took me off pitocin and my natural contractions took over and it was much better. He was born 4 hrs after that.

It's not always possible and not always recommended, but the more natural you can go with labor, I believe the less painful it will be, all else being equal. i.e. Have less people around to make you nervous, relax (did I mention that?), think positive, pray, don't get induced or take meds unless you *really* should, be in whatever position is comfortable... During most of my easiest labor I was either sitting in the car riding around with dh, or walking (around the grocery store or whatever). Totally natural positions my body was used to. I personally think labor is not the best time to get into positions your body isn't used to and don't *feel natural* (birthing balls, squat bars, etc). Do whatever you *feel* like doing, which is probably going to be the same positions that you are normally in (walking, sitting, laying, or maybe on all-fours). I think laying on your back too early (before pushing) can also hinder labor and definitely pushing because your tailbone needs room to flex to let the baby out and if you're sitting on it, it can't go anywhere, so it makes pushing harder. Now I know that at a certain point while pushing... when my midwife says "The head is right there! You just need to get it under that pubic bone!" I know that I need to lift my butt up with the next contraction. And, sure enough, it works every time and the baby is out in another contraction or 2.


Hmm. Maybe that was a lot more than you wanted to know. Sorry if I got a little carried away there. Just things I wish I'd known. :)
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Last edited by TaraJo29; March 31st, 2013 at 05:37 PM.
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