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Yay baby shower drama


Forum: September 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
May 1st, 2013, 07:58 PM
ValyntineG's Avatar Based on a True Story
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I mean, seriously? Can't I just celebrate my d*mn baby without it being an issue?

I eventually told my MIL that while I appreciated her wanting to plan my shower SO much, my husband expressed a very strong desire for us to plan a casual, co-ed party together. This was true, so it worked out perfectly. She took that fine and graciously offered to help if we needed.

But then the BS hit the fan because I said something to the affect of "Trae's looking forward to celebrating with his dad and his brothers."

As it turns out, my MIL just had a huge fight with my SIL and they're not on speaking terms. So she tells me that if she and her family are invited to the shower, she won't be there. And neither will Trae's father or his younger, half brother. I mean... For REAL? Come on! It's one afternoon. In freaking JULY.

She then proceeded to tell me that if it offended me, I must just not care about her feelings very much. I told her that it didn't offend ME in the least, but that Trae would be very hurt. And the thing is... I'm not offended. I don't care if she comes or not. Because I don't like her. But Trae will be really upset if his dad and his brother aren't there and that's not ok.

I don't understand why my husband's family thinks it's ok to treat him this way. Why would they give him an ultimatum to choose between family members? That's screwed up on so many levels. Whatever, I guess I'm not surprised. They are always like this. I should be used to it by now. There is never really a time when we're not having issues with someone in his family.

I'm just freaking tired of it.

I'll invite who I want to my d*mn shower. They can suck my butt.
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  #2  
May 1st, 2013, 08:10 PM
TayAnd2Angels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your FIL needs to put his foot down on this one.
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  #3  
May 1st, 2013, 08:14 PM
ValyntineG's Avatar Based on a True Story
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My FIL is.... *SIGH*...

My FIL is a vagina. I love the man with all my heart, I really do. But he has let this woman treat his sons like crap for years and years. She's actually my husband's step mom, so that's where a lot of this comes from. She plays favorites with her biological son and it's beyond annoying.

Anyway, we both talked to him about it and he sided with her pretty firmly. I probably would too if I had to live with her, so I guess I understand. I just feel sad for my husband.
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  #4  
May 1st, 2013, 08:21 PM
TayAnd2Angels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is disappointing. I bet it will blow over by July. Problem is your hubs' feelings will already be hurt by then.
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  #5  
May 1st, 2013, 08:32 PM
ValyntineG's Avatar Based on a True Story
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Yeah, he's already pretty upset over it. They tend to hold grudges a long time, so I don't know. My MIL got mad at me over something I posted on facebook at the end of 2011 and the whole family didn't speak to us for 6 months. They didn't meet Sebastian until he was a couple months old.

My family is SO not like this, so it's hard for me to wrap my head around. I don't see the point of getting so bent out of shape that you act like this. It's so juvenile and pointless.
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  #6  
May 1st, 2013, 08:34 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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That sucks... I hate how things that should be a happy fun celebration always turn into something like that... And it's always bc some family member wants to act like a big baby/*** hat

Hopefully they get the hell over it by July!!!!
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  #7  
May 1st, 2013, 09:50 PM
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Wow! Sounds like my family, so I can totallly relate! Your poor DH
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  #8  
May 2nd, 2013, 12:09 AM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Very well put, suck my butt!
MIL loves to be in control, huh?? STUPID STUPID STUPID DRAMA. DO what you and your husband wants, F what everyone else wants.
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  #9  
May 2nd, 2013, 07:18 AM
MamaLaurie's Avatar Veteran
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That would drive me crazy. Sounds pretty selfish to me on their part. At least you have until July. Hopefully it will all blow over by then.
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  #10  
May 2nd, 2013, 07:31 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Oh, for goodness' sake...

I'm so sorry you and Trae are having to deal with this. Sounds like MIL needs a big cup of GTFover yourself. The levels of emotional manipulation in what she's saying are totally insane. I don't blame you at ALL for not wanting to jump in the middle of an argument that has nothing to do with you on a day that's meant to celebrate your newest baby. It's pretty sad that she can't put her drama on hold for one afternoon.

Just, ugh... I would have lost it on her.
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  #11  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:55 AM
kelbert's Avatar a.k.a. Kelli
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Ugh that is so frustrating! But I agree with you.. they can suck your butt.

I would feel bad for DH though. To hurt him because of their issues is just so wrong. They are being extremely childish.
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  #12  
May 2nd, 2013, 09:15 AM
AIK112018's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wow thats crazy! DHs family is kind of like that, but not as extreme idt.

I would suggest just not telling anybody whose on the guest list (thats what i do, and if anybody comes that somebody else doesnt like, they can either suck it up, or gtfo) But that sounds like that would probably go horribly wrong in your case.

I hope they somehow miraculously overcome their immature grudges and are both at your shower with friendly faces.
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  #13  
May 2nd, 2013, 08:57 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
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Well that just blows chunks, and being pregnant I am sure you have had enough of that...
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