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Speaking of showers and registries...


Forum: September 2013 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By Keakie
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  #1  
May 7th, 2013, 08:10 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I had an etiquette question I was hoping you ladies could help me with.

I'm planning to a) nurse and b) cloth diaper. My question is this: is there a way to discourage well-meaning family and friends from buying us sposie diapers and formula?

I've read that some expectant parents will put things like the actual cloth diapers and accessories or breast pumps on their registries to subtly let everyone know that those are their preferences. The problem with this for us is that I'm well into building up my CD already; shopping while I've got ample time has given me a lot of opportunities to look for good deals and participate in group buys that will save us a lot of money. I would hate for other people to spend a ton on something I can get for less. As far as nursing goes, I'm not planning to pick up a breast pump because I don't really have a reason to need one at this point.

I've considered putting things like Snappis/diaper pins, safe-for-CDs detergent, etc. on my list but am not sure that people who are unfamiliar with CDing will understand what those items are really for. I've got absolutely nada for nursing.

Is there a tasteful way to just ask that people not buy those things? I feel awkward specifying gifts that way and am nervous that it would read sort of like, "Please buy me things, but only things that I deem good enough!" which is not my intent. I also don't want my formula feeding and non-cloth diapering friends and family (or family who used formula and sposies when their kids were babies) to be offended either. I don't really have any drama types that I'm particularly worried about, but I know making alternative choices can sometimes put other people on the defensive and I don't want to be that person.
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  #2  
May 7th, 2013, 08:23 PM
MyFantasticFour's Avatar Mommy of 4
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My friend put a cute little note that said that I'm cloth diapering but I don't recall what it said. I did get one box of sposies I think but the friend practically built my whole CD stash!
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  #3  
May 7th, 2013, 08:42 PM
321abc
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I would just have your hostess put "the parents to be our choosing to cloth diaper" in the same spot as your registry info.

I've never seen formula as gifts at a shower. There are too many types to gift that in my opinion. And most people assume the mom will try out breast feeding first anyway.
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  #4  
May 7th, 2013, 10:53 PM
TayAnd2Angels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would register fr the CD accessories and then if people buy you disposables, either return them or re-gift them. Most places that you register at are really good about returns and then you can use the $ toward things you need but don't get as gifts.
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  #5  
May 7th, 2013, 11:16 PM
amyhk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Register for cloth diapers. But even if you get a couple of packages of sposies, you may want to keep them for emergencies. I have many friends who exclusively use cloth but still keep a keep a pack of sposies on hand just in case.

I don't think I have ever seen formula as a shower gift. But another thing to be wary of is bottles and pacifiers. Don't register for a whole set of anything. I bf'd exclusively, but even when I pumped and tried to give DS a bottle he pretty much hated most of them. He ended up rejecting ALL bottles, but that's another story. I would buy one on your own, and NOT have other people get them. You never know what baby will like. Same goes with pacis.
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  #6  
May 8th, 2013, 06:20 AM
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I put cloth diapers, cloth wipes, a diaper pail, wetbags, and cloth diaper detergent on my registry. I also did not register for a single bottle or pacifier (if I ever need those, drug stores are open 24 hours a day and we can spend the few dollars ourselves), but did put nursing pads and lanolin nipple cream on my registry. That being said, I fully expect there to be a few dense people who still don't "get" it and buy that stuff anyways. I just plan to return it and get something I actually want/need, or if I'm not able to return it then I'll donate it.

Because most of the things we want/need are not available at any one store, (or ANY store in our podunk hometown where the shower will be held) our registry is on Amazon. I can PM you a link if you'd like to take a look at it.
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  #7  
May 8th, 2013, 06:23 AM
manda622's Avatar First Time Mommy-To-Be
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My aunt is going to put a little note on my invite where the registry info goes. I also am building my own CDing stash, but I will still put some things on the registry too. I'm hoping people will just stick to the registry, but if we do get sposies we will probably keep some (for emergencies or babysitters who aren't comfy with cloth) and try to return anything else for credit.
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  #8  
May 8th, 2013, 06:49 AM
kelbert's Avatar a.k.a. Kelli
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Ditto what everyone else said! A cute little note on the invite would be good.

We are going to register at Babies R Us and on Amazon. If I could exclusively on Amazon I would, but not everyone is internet savvy.. haha.

I had originally wanted to register at Target, but have heard horror stories about their return policy. My cousin is due next month and had a lot of problems. I don't want to get double of something, and/or something I don't need and be stuck with it.
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  #9  
May 8th, 2013, 07:04 AM
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Also, I think there is a little place to write a note to everyone that visits your registry (I know amazon has some space for that).
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  #10  
May 8th, 2013, 08:42 AM
Alpha_allie1010's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think people will buy you formula just because you never know what kind a baby will like anyway. I have never seen it at a shower before. At target you can register for cloth diapers. Even if people buy you sposies most stores are great about letting you return them as long as they aren't open. The nly thing I would worry about would be getting a Diaper Cake but I think if you put Cloth on your registry people will get it. Also register for things like breast milk storage bags, lanolin, and nursing covers.
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  #11  
May 8th, 2013, 08:47 AM
AIK112018's Avatar Elizabeth
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I think a note on the invitations are a good idea. I think I will do that as well!
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  #12  
May 8th, 2013, 12:50 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I plan to exclusively breastfeed and cloth diaper as well. I have already built my CD stash and have all the accessories. I will keep a pack of disposable diapers on hand just in case so if I get a pack I won't care. I would maybe put a couple cloth diapers on there if you want. I don't think the accessories will make people realize that you are cloth diapering.

And for formula, I have never seen that as a gift, so I wouldn't worry. You could always donate it to women's shelter if you did get some.
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  #13  
May 9th, 2013, 01:25 PM
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We put a note on the registry that said we're planning on CDing. That said, if somebody buys me diapers (which I'm sure they will) I'll definitely use them. We're choosing to CD mostly for the cost benefits.

And you can always return anything you didn't open.
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  #14  
May 10th, 2013, 06:23 PM
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I think a cute note would work for sure

I also think that you might want to think about having a small stash of disposalbe diapers for times when you are gone all day, for example a friend of mine put her son in a disposable diaper when they went shopping down town toronto for the day instead of carrying around used cloth diapers.

I also think you should consider a breast pump. I exclusively breast fed and had to buy a pump because DS was on a nipple shield. I had to pump after every feeding for the first 3-4 weeks BUT I built an amazing stash in my freezer so once DS was older, I could leave him with a bottle of breast milk for a couple hours worry free. Pumps are also great if you get super full and the baby isn't interested in eating/doesn't empty you...you will be so thankful to have a breast pump when that need arises.
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  #15  
May 10th, 2013, 06:34 PM
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I have exclusively Bf'd my kids and never gotten formula as a gift. I have gotten paci's and clips for paci's but unless I asked for a specific bottle I didn't get those either. I use disposable diapers but I don't know that I ever got them as gifts...if you do tho, like the other ladies say return them or you can always donate them to a pg center-they love getting diapers since they give all that stuff away for free to ladies in need. I would think that most ppl attending would know you well enough to realize what your plans for baby are.
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  #16  
May 10th, 2013, 07:19 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Thanks ladies! I think I'll be able to come up with a few more things to put on my registry with y'all's suggestions, and am less worried about formula than I was before. I didn't even think of nursing pads or Lansinoh, especially. I guess I could put a few cute cloth diapers on there too, and I don't think my mom would mind putting a short note.

Sara, for the reasons some of the ladies talked about in this thread:

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...questions.html

I think I'm going to go ahead and pass on the pump for now, and re-evaluate if I'm having issues with oversupply, etc. It seems like one of those things that, if you buy one, it's better to just buy a good one and given how expensive the good ones are, I would just be more comfortable proceeding without one unless I really need it. I'd rather have to run out and pick one up on the fly than spend a ton (or have shower guests spend a ton) and not use it, KWIM?

Quote:
I would think that most ppl attending would know you well enough to realize what your plans for baby are.
I guess I'm kind of weird, then. My closest friends before I got married were mainly guys, so my circle of girlfriends is pretty small (so I'm not exactly squealing over baby stuff with them they're happy for us, but they're guys) and I just haven't talked about my diapering, nursing, etc. plans with most of my family members. It isn't a secret or anything - I just haven't mentioned it and the questions I keep getting asked are more about how I'm feeling, if we're excited, if we've got a name, etc. than they are about parenting plans.
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  #17  
May 11th, 2013, 07:49 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
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As for breast pump I have gotten medulla hand pumps from the hospital. With EBF IT has been enough to relieve pressure so baby can latch, have an extra bottle in the freezer and travel with on the rare occasions when I needed to pump.
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  #18  
May 11th, 2013, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TayAnd2Angels View Post
I would register fr the CD accessories and then if people buy you disposables, either return them or re-gift them. Most places that you register at are really good about returns and then you can use the $ toward things you need but don't get as gifts.
Ditto
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  #19  
May 11th, 2013, 03:54 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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i think you've gotten great advice. i'd imagine that not registering for a lot of those things should give most people the hint, and registering for the accessories will def help get the idea across
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  #20  
May 11th, 2013, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keakie View Post

Sara, for the reasons some of the ladies talked about in this thread:

http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...questions.html

I think I'm going to go ahead and pass on the pump for now, and re-evaluate if I'm having issues with oversupply, etc. It seems like one of those things that, if you buy one, it's better to just buy a good one and given how expensive the good ones are, I would just be more comfortable proceeding without one unless I really need it. I'd rather have to run out and pick one up on the fly than spend a ton (or have shower guests spend a ton) and not use it, KWIM? .
Thats a good call now that I think about it. I missed that thread because my internet wasn't working this week but I just responded to it now.

My original plan was to do exactly what you are planning, Just run out and get one if the need arises but I ended up needing one right away for reasons explained in the other thread. I am glad I had one, but now that I think about it, I really stopped using it after about 6 weeks because I was no longer required to pump.
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