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  • 3 Post By beckiethedoula
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  #1  
July 28th, 2013, 09:17 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
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(Our BTDT mamas are welcome to chime in too! I was just wondering if I was out of my mind or if some of these things were normal for first timers. ) Now that we're getting pretty close, how are you all feeling? Excited? Nervous? Still in disbelief that you're about to become responsible for another life?

All of the above, here. It certainly feels more real now that I can see this huge bump and can feel her wiggling and can even feel limbs if I have my hands on my stomach while she rolls around (compared to the first couple of months) and now that we have a closet full of clothes and diapers and there's a crib in my living room waiting to be set up, but honestly... I still don't think I've wrapped my mind around the fact that there will be a newborn infant in this house in 5? 6? 7? weeks, depending on when she decides to make her entrance? It's totally nuts.

I'm not sure that I've wrapped my mind around the fact that I'll be in LABOR in the next several weeks, either... and I'm starting to feel nervous about my ability to do it. I know, logically, that my body was built for birthing babies and that women have been doing this since the dawn of time and I'm still firmly committed to my NCB plans at the birth center (providing I don't have any health crises pop up in the next few weeks), but sometimes it's just really hard to imagine that *I* will be doing this. I finally bought the Hypnobabies home study course this weekend (I was waiting to try and buy it off of a local mama but she hasn't messaged me since the beginning of July when she said she was still looking for some of the pieces, and I really don't have a lot of time to wait) so I'm hoping that helps prepare me mentally a little bit more. Otherwise, I've just been reading books and doing yoga and breathing practice.

I'm also nervous that something uncontrollable will pop up, and I'll lose her. I know that's irrational, and I've had no issues that would give me cause to think that (my pregnancy has been pretty textbook so far, my bp has been great and she's really active) and I was worried about losing her all through the first and most of the second trimester too and everything was obviously fine.

I am excited too, though. I'm excited to meet this little person that has been poking and prodding me for the last several months. Her daddy is excited to meet her, and talks to her all the time. I'm really stoked.

So, how are you doing, mentally? Am I nuts or are some of you right there with me?
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  #2  
July 28th, 2013, 09:41 AM
beckiethedoula's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think everything you're feeling is totally normal, no matter what # pregnancy it is for you!

I've had 3 successful vaginal births, 2 of them unmedicated and one being at home, and I'm STILL worried about needing a c-section or tearing (which I've never had happen).

I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that I'm going to have FOUR friggidyfracking kids... It wasn't in the "Plan for Beckie's Life", but it was obviously meant to be... and I can't wait to squeeze her little face when she gets here.

So, you're not alone!!!
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  #3  
July 28th, 2013, 10:14 AM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Even though this is my third baby, I could have written much of what you wrote myself. I am still having difficulty wrapping my brain around the fact that I am having another baby - despite rocking, rolling, and the limbs poking out of me, it remains surreal.

I am still nervous that something will happen and I'll lose her, even though I have no reason to believe that this will happen. With me it's a little different because I do have an anxiety disorder, so I know that's making it worse. Sometimes while browsing other boards, I'll run across women who actually have suffered these types of losses - that's all it takes to cause a mild panic attack at this point in time.

This happened with previous pregnancies, so I know I'll remain uncomfortable until the baby is born. After the baby is born, I'll wake up 100 times a night to make sure she is still breathing. After that, I'll worry about sending her to daycare, worry every time she gets sick, worry when I send her to school, and worry about whatever comes up in between. For me personally, the anxiety never ends. *sigh*

In any event, you're not nuts - everything you're feeling is perfectly normal.
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  #4  
July 28th, 2013, 10:25 AM
iCathy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolly Lama View Post
Even though this is my third baby, I could have written much of what you wrote myself. I am still having difficulty wrapping my brain around the fact that I am having another baby - despite rocking, rolling, and the limbs poking out of me, it remains surreal.

I am still nervous that something will happen and I'll lose her, even though I have no reason to believe that this will happen. With me it's a little different because I do have an anxiety disorder, so I know that's making it worse. Sometimes while browsing other boards, I'll run across women who actually have suffered these types of losses - that's all it takes to cause a mild panic attack at this point in time.

This happened with previous pregnancies, so I know I'll remain uncomfortable until the baby is born. After the baby is born, I'll wake up 100 times a night to make sure she is still breathing. After that, I'll worry about sending her to daycare, worry every time she gets sick, worry when I send her to school, and worry about whatever comes up in between. For me personally, the anxiety never ends. *sigh*

In any event, you're not nuts - everything you're feeling is perfectly normal.
I too have an a anxiety disorder and know exactly how you feel!! Especially when they are newborns and spit up, or choke. I am a nervous wreck for months! With DS3, when we got home from the hospital, I told my Mom and DH "there are 3 capable adults in this house, at no point, day or night, should there be a time someone is not watching him breathe" I was crazy!! ( and don't expect it to be different this time)
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  #5  
July 28th, 2013, 12:20 PM
Dolly Lama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I too have an a anxiety disorder and know exactly how you feel!! Especially when they are newborns and spit up, or choke. I am a nervous wreck for months! With DS3, when we got home from the hospital, I told my Mom and DH "there are 3 capable adults in this house, at no point, day or night, should there be a time someone is not watching him breathe" I was crazy!! ( and don't expect it to be different this time)
I'm sorry that you also have to deal with an anxiety disorder, but feel kind of relieved in some weird way to not be the only one dealing with this.

We expect to be sleep deprived while our babies are newborns, but waking up every 30 minutes to an hour just because I needed to see my baby breathing drove me insane. I knew what I was doing was crazy, but felt so powerless to stop it. I have no reason to believe it will be any different this time, but I sure am hoping it happens somehow.
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  #6  
July 28th, 2013, 12:45 PM
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FTM here with two early loses. The fear of losing her has been ongoing since day1. Every time I feel the slightest bit odd I worry - not as much now that I can feel her, but the worry is still there, especially when hearing about people who are suffering from third trimester loses. My OB told me that the risks are lower than 1:1000 and that my risk is no greater than anyone else since my pregnancy has been progressing normally so far, but I still worry. I find it difficult to wrap my mind around the possibility that this will happen for me after TTC for 3 years, and I wonder whether I'll be a decent mum.
I'm tired of feeling sore all the time, but I love feeling her rolling around and I love trying to tickle her feet. I'm so excited to meet her. I've been dreaming about her birth for the last couple of days. DH is awfully excited to meet her. He talks and sings to her nearly every day.
As far as birth plans go, up until a couple of weeks ago we thought we were going to have to have a c-section and made no other plans. My OB scheduled an appointment with an anesthesiologist on the 8th to discuss pain management options. I plan on trying NCB, but I understand that plans change often last minute, and that most women who want NCB beg for pain relief at the time, so I want to do the risk/benefit analysis before I'm desperate for any relief. My only requirement for her birth is for it to be the safest it can be for her
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  #7  
July 28th, 2013, 02:36 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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i agree with beckie, i think those things pop up with every baby. I am CERTAINLY not ready to admit to myself that we are about to have yet another newborn. i am actually further from ready than i was a month ago i think! LOL I am actually excited to watch everyone else have their babies first for once! I'm always due at the end for some reason. i have a lot to do yet, not to mention the thoughts of how my other kids will react. Oh and that tiny problem of us not have a name too....haha!!
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  #8  
July 28th, 2013, 02:48 PM
kelbert's Avatar a.k.a. Kelli
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlecatlady View Post
FTM here with two early loses. The fear of losing her has been ongoing since day1. Every time I feel the slightest bit odd I worry - not as much now that I can feel her, but the worry is still there, especially when hearing about people who are suffering from third trimester loses. My OB told me that the risks are lower than 1:1000 and that my risk is no greater than anyone else since my pregnancy has been progressing normally so far, but I still worry. I find it difficult to wrap my mind around the possibility that this will happen for me after TTC for 3 years, and I wonder whether I'll be a decent mum.
I feel like I could have written this myself. Our backgrounds are very similar. I have been paranoid this entire time. If I don't think she is moving enough, I will push on her (DH always fusses me)

I also think I am still in denial about her being here so soon. 7 weeks left at the most.. it just seems so unreal. I can't wait for her to be here. DH has been saying he wants her to be here.

It will be here before we know it!
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  #9  
July 28th, 2013, 03:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelbert View Post
I feel like I could have written this myself. Our backgrounds are very similar. I have been paranoid this entire time. If I don't think she is moving enough, I will push on her (DH always fusses me)

I also think I am still in denial about her being here so soon. 7 weeks left at the most.. it just seems so unreal. I can't wait for her to be here. DH has been saying he wants her to be here.

It will be here before we know it!
I've been following your stories since I joined - we certainly seem to have a lot in common! It will be so wonderful to finally see our girls with our own eyes! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of Hope; such an appropriate name
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  #10  
July 28th, 2013, 04:15 PM
kelbert's Avatar a.k.a. Kelli
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlecatlady View Post
I've been following your stories since I joined - we certainly seem to have a lot in common! It will be so wonderful to finally see our girls with our own eyes! I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of Hope; such an appropriate name
Yes we do. And I agree! I can't wait to see their little faces

And thank you about her name.. DH actually picked it out!
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  #11  
July 28th, 2013, 05:57 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Thanks ladies. I feel less like a nut case, anyway. I've been crazily monitoring movement for the last couple of days because it feels like it's less than what it was a week or two ago (even though it's still frequent enough to pass kick counts and it would stand to reason that she's probably just running out of room). I won't count on the neuroses being any less even after she's here.

We started painting her room today, which helps with the surreal feeling a little bit. I don't know if I'll be able to fully grasp it until she's physically in my arms, though. We'll see.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolly Lama View Post
Sometimes while browsing other boards, I'll run across women who actually have suffered these types of losses - that's all it takes to cause a mild panic attack at this point in time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlecatlady View Post
Every time I feel the slightest bit odd I worry - not as much now that I can feel her, but the worry is still there, especially when hearing about people who are suffering from third trimester loses.
I'm feeling particularly sensitive to those stories right now, too. I'm at a place where it would really be in my best interests NOT to read them or the blogs of mamas who have suffered those kinds of losses because I have a bad tendency to read their processing and looking back on their pregnancy and say to myself, "Oh my gosh, Evie feels that way sometimes too." and send myself into a tailspin of concern over something like her having hiccups for 5 minutes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelbert View Post
If I don't think she is moving enough, I will push on her
Me too. Or I'll stop what I'm doing to go lay down and see if I can get her to wiggle around (and when she doesn't right away or doesn't very strongly, I just panic more, even though for all I know she's sleeping or something and I'm bugging her).
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  #12  
July 29th, 2013, 05:24 AM
manda622's Avatar First Time Mommy-To-Be
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I feel exactly the same all the way down to the fear of losing him. I know two people who has had stillborn babies, one at 6 month and another at 39 weeks. It haunts me, so I'm always obsessing over how much he's moving, and I also poke at at him and lay down to try and get him to move when I haven't felt him "enough". I joke with my husband that I'm practicing being an annoying mom, but really I'm just super anxious.
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  #13  
July 29th, 2013, 10:26 AM
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Everything you posted sounds completely normal to me In fact, that worry will be a constant companion for the rest of your kids' lives. I still have anxiety about my oldest and he is 15 haha!! They are so precious....the best you can do is just try to enjoy every moment you can with them and not let the worry take the forefront
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  #14  
July 29th, 2013, 10:33 AM
321abc
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Totally normal feelings. You'll probably develope other fears after she gets here too.
I just have to give it to The Lord. <3
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  #15  
July 29th, 2013, 03:54 PM
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I know what you mean! I waver between looking so forward to pregnancy being over, to fear about wow... this labor thing I have been thinking and talking about will actually happen to me... in weeks... and we'll have a newborn? Crazy!

We have only recently started the real work on his room, so that's part of it too, trying to make it seem real that time is running out as we get his room ready.

Oh, and I echo the worries of many others, even though he moves so much it startles me at times... I still worry that something could go wrong. A few nights ago I had a dream where I super clearly saw his face and little body. At first, I was really excited upon waking and wondered if that was how he would look. Then I worried "what if that dream was because I will have to say good bye early?" and then didn't sleep until he moved significantly enough for me to know he was still okay.

I know partly why this is! (At least an educated guess) August arrives in a a few days. Nothing to make it more real than us, this board, hitting the month before our due dates, right?
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  #16  
July 29th, 2013, 04:01 PM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sisera View Post
I know partly why this is! (At least an educated guess) August arrives in a a few days. Nothing to make it more real than us, this board, hitting the month before our due dates, right?
Very true, not to mention there's a good change a chunk of this group could be born in August. Several of my both of my kids DDC buddies were born in the latter half of the month before.
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  #17  
July 29th, 2013, 06:29 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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That's a really good point about August being right around the corner.
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  #18  
July 30th, 2013, 06:28 AM
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I am also feeling a bit nervous. Honestly being a first time mom at the age of 40 is a bit daunting. Honestly never thought I would be a parent. Some days I still can't believe there is a baby growing inside me. I think we are almost prepared stuff wise for the baby, but how we will actually handle things once our little man is here, remains to be seen. Everyone keeps telling us we'll be great parents. I sometimes think now, what if we totally SUCK!
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