Log In Sign Up

last minute switch


Forum: September 2013 Playroom

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Like Tree12Likes
  • 5 Post By sisera
  • 3 Post By Keakie
  • 1 Post By MyFantasticFour
  • 1 Post By My3His1
  • 2 Post By My3His1

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To September 2013 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 20th, 2013, 08:01 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 142
Hi all, I read often and post rarely, but am so excited to see us all nearing that finish line, and our board already has three births! Wow.

Anyways, I have a big update that I am excited about, and wanted to share. Last week, I met with my doula to discuss my birth plan. There were a number of areas that she said I would have to discuss with my OB. Okay, so last Monday, I asked my questions, and basically shot down all of them! I've done a lot of reading about birth, and know that many OBs are okay with these things that she wasn't.

I talked to my doula and she said that it sounded like I would have to be ready to fight for what I wanted, or it wasn't too late to switch.

By Monday night, I was emailing midwives asking about a home birth. Midweek I was meeting with a midwife, and by Saturday we had signed the papers and paid the deposit for a homebirth, and had my first official visit with her.

Big switch. I am nervous, but mostly excited. I think it is the best thing for us, we were just too nervous to jump for it without a cause.

P.s. I have decided not to tell family about our new plan to avoid hearing their negative thoughts about it. We have done our research, and know the risks, and realize that a hospital transfer may still occur. I would truly appreciate it if any negative comments about our switch were left unsaid positive comments welcomed.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 20th, 2013, 09:18 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,410
No negativity here! I think it's fantastic that you made a change that will allow you to birth in a way that you feel most comfortable with. Your birth preferences are valid and your research is valid, and I'm glad that you found out how unsupportive your OB was of your choices early enough for you to make changes. We have a few other home birth mommies in our DDC, so you're in great company (and the mommies we have who are choosing alternate birthing routes have, as far as I can remember, still been amazingly supportive and encouraging anyway).

If your family won't be able to keep their negativity to themselves, I agree that it's probably better not to mention your change in plans. I know family means well (most of the time), but if you've done your research and feel great about this new plan it doesn't matter whether family members agree (especially since, realistically, they probably haven't done very much research on the subject).

You'll do great, mama!
kimberlyw, AIK112018 and My3His1 like this.
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 20th, 2013, 09:39 AM
Heidijens1's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 896
Good for you!! I Think that it is VERY important to have the birth YOU want, not what a DR or anybody else tells you to do. I'm very lucky that my Dr is very open minded and is pretty much fine with whatever I want.
I'd love to have a home birth myself but I have had enough complications that I feel I need to be at a hospital when birthing.
Good luck to you and I hope you get the birth you desire!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 20th, 2013, 11:15 AM
4sweet's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 526
I am glad you made the switch for yourself and getting the birth that you want vs the birth you are told to have. I am sure you will be very happy with your midwife.

I am too scared to do a home birth, but that is just me. Also with 3 other kids there it would not be a peaceful experience. I have a midwife and loved the experience last time. Our midwife group is based in the hospital so I feel I have the best of both options.
__________________
Alicia

Julian 9/30/06
Logan 12/29/09
Callan 11/4/11
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 20th, 2013, 11:53 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 485
Congrats on making the best choice for you and your family
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 20th, 2013, 02:45 PM
MamaLaurie's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 484
I think it's great you're having a home birth! I'm jealous!!!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 20th, 2013, 02:54 PM
TaraJo29's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,741
Hope everything goes great! What a headache that your OB shot down all your preferences this late in the game!
__________________
Mom to Titus (10), Isaiah (8), Noelle (6), Joel (4), Hannah (2), and baby due Sept 10!

[/url]

Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 20th, 2013, 09:14 PM
mommyof2boys0207's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: MN
Posts: 1,079
All I have to say is YOU GO GIRL! Do whatever you are comfortable with. I've excited for you!
__________________
Married to Brandon June 25th, 2005
DS- Cole - May 24th, 2002
DS- Mason - February 22nd, 2007
DD- Savannah - June 30th, 2011
DS- Jameson - September 18th, 2013
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 20th, 2013, 10:24 PM
TayAnd2Angels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Fresno, CA
Posts: 9,274
Very cool! Can't wait to hear your birth story!
__________________
Thank you Kiliki for my beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 21st, 2013, 04:28 AM
mommyof4plus's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Where the grass grows and there's lots of rain & trees
Posts: 442
Well, I won't try to discourage you. It sounds like that is what you really want to do! And for some people that is the best option. I'm happy for you! It's nice to have a plan.. especially one that makes you feel good about yourself/choice!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 21st, 2013, 05:51 AM
MyFantasticFour's Avatar Mommy of 4
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,302
I think that's wonderful!! Good luck!! I had a homebirth 11 days ago and it was everything I wanted it to be!! I'm still on a high from it!!

And DH chose not to tell his family too, they'll find out on the birth announcements. Except his dad who cracked me up because during labor DH texted him and FIL asked where the kids were and when we said they were with us, he goes "She's giving birth at home???"
kimberlyw likes this.
__________________





Last edited by MyFantasticFour; August 21st, 2013 at 05:54 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 21st, 2013, 08:23 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 7,185
I am so glad you made the decision that's best for you! I am personally not brave enough to try at home and it helps a ton that my doctor is very supportive of all my preferences (how it will pan out in reality is another story and only God knows that)

Wishing you all the best. Very excited for you
__________________
Expecting baby girl September 29th

Reply With Quote
  #13  
August 21st, 2013, 08:56 AM
AIK112018's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,244
So Happy for you! I am planning on having a homebirth too!
I announced my decision for a homebirth to my family shortly after my shower.
I made a homebirth plan that I will be talking to my midwife about next week, and have all my homebirth stuff purchased and ready to go Can't wait to hear your story!


I used a lot of the words I found on this website to announce my decision to my family & friends:
Beyond Mommy: Flashback Friday: Home birth letter
Reply With Quote
  #14  
August 21st, 2013, 01:07 PM
beckiethedoula's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: the land of milk and honey, UT
Posts: 2,089
I'm glad you were able to switch! Welcome to the home birth club!! It's an amazing experience to give birth and doing it in your own home is so lovely!
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #15  
August 21st, 2013, 10:02 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 386
PSH! You won't hear anything negative from me. I WISH I'd had the nerve with my first to switch to a homebirth this late in the game! I knew by 20ish weeks with my first that I did not want a hospital birth with an OB, but I just wasn't brave/strong/courageous enough to make the switch. I ended up with a terrible birth experience that still leaves me in tears (8 years later) if I think too much about it. So WAY TO GO for going with your gut and doing what's best for your baby and your birth!

This will be homebirth #2 for me, so nobody was surprised LOL. I suppose one "positive" thing about the traumatic birth with my first is that nobody dared to say anything negative to me about not delivering in a hospital again when they found out baby #2 would be born at home. Instead, they just didn't really say anything, which was totally fine with me. If you think people would be negative about it, I agree that you made the right choice in not saying anything to them. They might mean well or have good intentions, but nobody needs to hear negativity weeks or days before giving birth.

Welcome to the homebirth club!
AIK112018 likes this.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megan, mom of:
DD ~ September 2005
DS ~ October 2007
Reply With Quote
  #16  
August 22nd, 2013, 06:03 AM
manda622's Avatar First Time Mommy-To-Be
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beverly, MA
Posts: 284
So exciting! I WISH I could do a homebirth- can't afford it (my insurance won't cover it at all) plus we live in an apartment. Also, I'm not sure if I could get hubs on board. But, maybe for baby 2? So excited for you though! Congrats on the switch!
__________________

BFP: 1/31/2013
First OB Visit: 02/19/2013
Dating Ultrasound: 02/20/2013 Got to see the baby move! HB 170!
Level 2 Ultrasound: 4/24/2013 It's a boy! HB 148!

Reply With Quote
  #17  
August 22nd, 2013, 08:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 3,060
I am so happy for you!!!

I would love a home birth too, but insurance won't cover it, and DH would NOT be okay with it since we are about 1/2 an hour away from any hospital. Oh well
__________________

Josh and Kim - proud parents to Byron, Elijah, Abigail, Connor, Kara, and Baby
Reply With Quote
  #18  
August 23rd, 2013, 08:48 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 142
Thank you all so much for the support. Especially since we keeping it quiet from people we know in real life, it's great to have a community here to share with.

By the way, if it helps some of you for next time, our health insurance won't cover it either. We thought it was out of reach for us financially. But when I got serious about wanting to change from my OB, I looked hard and eventually found a midwife just starting her practice (fully licenced and with lots of experience as a doula and assistant) who was able to give us a better deal so she can grow her practice. This brought it into our budget range, and I still feel confident about using her.

I look forward to sharing my birth story once he arrives.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #19  
August 23rd, 2013, 09:14 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,410
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisera View Post
By the way, if it helps some of you for next time, our health insurance won't cover it either. We thought it was out of reach for us financially. But when I got serious about wanting to change from my OB, I looked hard and eventually found a midwife just starting her practice (fully licenced and with lots of experience as a doula and assistant) who was able to give us a better deal so she can grow her practice. This brought it into our budget range, and I still feel confident about using her.
That's really awesome.

I'm sure it varies depending on what your insurance plan looks like, but in our case, even a homebirth that wouldn't be covered would end up costing us roughly the same as a hospital birth after deductible.
__________________


*Cautiously and excitedly expecting number two - shhh, if we're friends on Facebook. *



Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
August 23rd, 2013, 10:35 AM
Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 386
A side note about insurance coverage and homebirth. If you want a homebirth and your insurance doesn't cover it, you can apply for state insurance only for pregnancy and tell them that while you have insurance coverage it won't pay for your birth. If you meet the income requirements for the pregnancy insurance, many of them cover homebirth. That is how I was able to get my first homebirth covered.
mommyof2boys0207 and Keakie like this.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Megan, mom of:
DD ~ September 2005
DS ~ October 2007
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:42 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0