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  #1  
August 24th, 2013, 04:48 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 1,183
Thank you to everyone who has been there for me and answered all of my stupid questions, and laughed with me about all of the silly hormones we have went through together. I have been apart of Justmommies since 2011 and I have found that this place used to be a safe place for me to land when I lost my first baby, during my journey of TTCAL, and during this pregnancy. I am 19 years old and I don't have many people to talk to about pregnancy, when I joined this DDC I was excited to share this experience with other women and watch all of our babies grow, and learn from all of your experiences, and my own. I can't let myself continue to get bashed about a decision that I have made though. Most of you do know that this is the THIRD time that I have literally been harassed about elective induction, and to say I haven't been is a lie, I have even had women apologize because they have been way to harsh, and I have been told TWICE that my decision is my decision and that I would be respected for it. So when I decided to post about my induction date I wasn't really expecting the same exact reactions as the past TWO times. I understand that pitocin is horrible and it makes your body do something it isn't ready to do, and I get that it hurts like hell, and I may end up in surgery, and I hear everyone saying she's not ready and my body isn't ready and WAIT until your body is ready, but can everyone just hear where I am coming from for once? My legs are so swollen that they are numb 90% of the time so when I stand up I can't even feel them, I am now taking my breathing treatment and inhaler everyday because I can't breathe anymore because I have asthma, I wake up every hour in the night because my back hurts so bad, and it feels like she is breaking my back, and I can barely walk, and I now have 3 pinched nerves that are completely out of control, and my anxiety is so bad that it is sending me into a depression. On top of the fact that my doctor will not let me go over my due date, so regardless of being induced this Wednesday, I would be getting induced next Wednesday either way! I know everyone has had traumatizing stories and everyone has their opinions but why can't everyone be happy for me, and if you're not happy for me then just don't comment. I may be 19 years old but I am at least mature enough to know that when you don't have something nice to say to someone and it is only hurting them, then it is better to leave it alone! AGAIN, I have done my research on induction, I have genuinely taken in all of your thoughts and feelings and I still keep getting bashed, and I am sick of hearing "we all just care about you" no you don't, because someone who cares about me wouldn't keep on and keep on and keep on! I have made my choice, and I just wanted to be accepted in this group but I haven't been accepted since I said I wanted to induced a long time ago, this is the most judgmental group I have ever been in, and I am being so serious as I write this almost crying..I just want to be like the rest of you, but I am the ONLY one in this group that ever gets attacked when they say something, anyone else says their opinion and it's okay. It's been this way my whole life so I am not really shocked but I am surprised because I thought you were all "adults". I will not be updating here anymore, so don't expect to see how things end up with me and Miah, because I am done with this..
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  #2  
August 24th, 2013, 04:56 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10,538
I am sorry to hear that you're so uncomfortable and that none of the rest of us could possible understand what that must be like. I guess I never considered that the end of pregnancy could get rough for somebody because I know I am sleeping great, with no pain at all, while chasing around my 4 and 2 year old.

Quite frankly, there was only ONE snarky response on your last thread and, TBH, you getting so defensive just shows how completely insecure you are with your actual decision.

At this point, you're going to do what you're going to do and I wish you the best. I hope you can find the rainbows and sunshine support that you're hoping for elsewhere.
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  #3  
August 24th, 2013, 04:56 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,694
Lurking from ddc December. FYI I was induced three times and they were all wonderful births. People like to preach on their little soap boxes. Take it with a grain of salt. Don't let it get your stressed out.
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  #4  
August 24th, 2013, 05:05 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 1,183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Babybear4 View Post
I am sorry to hear that you're so uncomfortable and that none of the rest of us could possible understand what that must be like. I guess I never considered that the end of pregnancy could get rough for somebody because I know I am sleeping great, with no pain at all, while chasing around my 4 and 2 year old.

Quite frankly, there was only ONE snarky response on your last thread and, TBH, you getting so defensive just shows how completely insecure you are with your actual decision.

At this point, you're going to do what you're going to do and I wish you the best. I hope you can find the rainbows and sunshine support that you're hoping for elsewhere.
Thank you for your GENTLE advice! I am sorry you are going through a rough time and I hope things get better for you. I have found support within my friends and family and honestly that's all I need, thank you for being sarcastic and wishing the best for me!
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  #5  
August 24th, 2013, 05:05 PM
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Most of the people preaching had horrible births, due to induction. Sucks that your anecdotal story isn't the reality in many situations.
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Shelley, mom to:

  #6  
August 24th, 2013, 05:07 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Babybear4 View Post
Most of the people preaching had horrible births, due to induction. Sucks that your anecdotal story isn't the reality in many situations.
Can you stop? Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRG2010 View Post
Lurking from ddc December. FYI I was induced three times and they were all wonderful births. People like to preach on their little soap boxes. Take it with a grain of salt. Don't let it get your stressed out.
WOW, you are one of the aliens!!!! Inductions are HORRIBLE and if it was elective you are a horrible mother, and you are so selfish! I can't believe you wanting your OWN birth experience! haha I hope you are catching my sarcasm, I am glad that you are one of the few, I guess, that have had a good experience with inductions. Thank you for commenting with your positive thoughts!
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  #7  
August 24th, 2013, 05:17 PM
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Didn't suck for me lol I had zero issues. Quick births. Healthy children. Again people like to hear themselves talk. If they had a bad experience it MUST be like that for everyone. All I am saying is do what's best for you. Being on this site for over ten years there are always a handful of evil little wenches who think they know best. Ignore them and move on. This site is not to make you feel like you are making all the wrong decisions. It's to get support from people who are due the same time. I'm sad that you are not getting that experience.
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  #8  
August 24th, 2013, 05:25 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRG2010 View Post
Didn't suck for me lol I had zero issues. Quick births. Healthy children. Again people like to hear themselves talk. If they had a bad experience it MUST be like that for everyone. All I am saying is do what's best for you. Being on this site for over ten years there are always a handful of evil little wenches who think they know best. Ignore them and move on. This site is not to make you feel like you are making all the wrong decisions. It's to get support from people who are due the same time. I'm sad that you are not getting that experience.
THANK YOU! All I ever wanted was support and comfort, and I never get that here, when it comes to my induction. Oh well, My pregnancy will be over with on Wednesday and I don't need to be here any longer..Thank you for understanding and making me feel better, glad to know there are still people like you around on Justmommies.
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  #9  
August 24th, 2013, 05:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRG2010 View Post
Didn't suck for me lol I had zero issues. Quick births. Healthy children. Again people like to hear themselves talk. If they had a bad experience it MUST be like that for everyone. All I am saying is do what's best for you. Being on this site for over ten years there are always a handful of evil little wenches who think they know best. Ignore them and move on. This site is not to make you feel like you are making all the wrong decisions. It's to get support from people who are due the same time. I'm sad that you are not getting that experience.
Or if they had a great experience, that must be how it is for everybody, apparently.

She won't know how her experience goes until she's through with it. Being that her cervix is shut tight and completely unfavorable, the chances that it goes like yours are slim. Facts suck.

ETA: Your preaching is no different than ours, it's just that you're preaching what she wants to hear.
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Shelley, mom to:


Last edited by Babybear4; August 24th, 2013 at 05:45 PM.
  #10  
August 24th, 2013, 05:44 PM
Badass
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 195
I'm sorry that you truly don't feel welcome here any more but I genuinely do wish you and your daughter a safe delivery come Wednesday!
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  #11  
August 24th, 2013, 06:18 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 644
Moms here are trying to help you. You have no idea how much. It's frustrating when you're dismissing them so quick without letting them know you truly understand what they're trying to say. That's the frustrating part. Once they know you really heard them is when they will stop. They want to make sure you really understand what youre getting into.

Birth is not about having a fetus extracted from our uteruses in the most efficient way possible.

Birth is a life defining experience that stays with you for life. Ask moms about their birth stories, and you can easily see and hear the emotions rush back as they share.

These are stories, good or bad, that we relive over and over, whether we want to or not. And let’s not forget that our experiences stays with us for life.

Our birth stories can affect the postpartum period, and our attitudes about ourselves and future births.

We know that birth doesn’t always go to plan. We may not be able to control nature, but we can control how we approach it knowing we did everything possible to make it the best possible experience.

Don't waste it just because you are miserable and wants the baby out is all they're trying to say. Many of the moms here do have a hard time breathing, have pain walking, our hips hurt in bed, etc etc.

we understand that completely and we're with you and will support you along the way. We can complain all we want, whine all we want and so on. It's what this support group is all abt, while supporting the moms have the best possible labor and delivery experience. if we can have that, great. If not, we know we did our best and we'll have peace knowing that.

That's all they're trying to say.
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  #12  
August 24th, 2013, 06:25 PM
babybatax2's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 5,141
Quote:
Originally Posted by NCRG2010 View Post
Didn't suck for me lol I had zero issues. Quick births. Healthy children. Again people like to hear themselves talk. If they had a bad experience it MUST be like that for everyone. All I am saying is do what's best for you. Being on this site for over ten years there are always a handful of evil little wenches who think they know best. Ignore them and move on. This site is not to make you feel like you are making all the wrong decisions. It's to get support from people who are due the same time. I'm sad that you are not getting that experience.
I wouldn't wish my bad experiences on anyone. I hope no one in here will have to go through what my daughter has gone through in the last 3 years.

Maria-if you want to leave that's up to you, but just do it. You don't need to make a separate thread after your first one was locked. Just do it! Good luck :-)
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07/2007 03/2011 01/2012
  #13  
August 24th, 2013, 06:29 PM
"Shay-see"
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 1,034
On second thought, I don't want any of this.

No means no.
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Last edited by Seasaidh; August 24th, 2013 at 06:32 PM.
  #14  
August 24th, 2013, 07:16 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,336
Best of luck, Maria. I'm sorry that you aren't finding what you were looking for here.
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  #15  
August 24th, 2013, 07:52 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 1,183
What people are trying to say and what people actually say are two different things. My father in law and mother in law both read all of the comments because i thought, hey maybe im young and dont know how to take advice, my father in law said some of those comments were a back handed slap to me as a person and as a mother, and my mother in law said in no way were those comments gentle and advising at all. It's not just me! There's a way to say things and everyone came off very rude, like share your story and leave it at that, you dont have to keep trying to convince me to not get induced..& I can make a seperate post if i want? This is what im talking about, quit being rude! I've been here from day one, found out I was pregnant before most of you chicks, I think if i want to say farewell and explain myself in a seperate post I have earned that right, and ill do what I please! I'm not saying all of you girls were ******* because most were not but some were and I think you know who you are..
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Last edited by navywifey2003; August 24th, 2013 at 10:07 PM. Reason: Profanity
  #16  
August 24th, 2013, 08:02 PM
321abc
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I think that your other thread got a little out of hand but I still think most of us stated our opinions nicely and respectively.
That's a hot topic and these ladies were still nicer than the ones in my DDC with my last pregnancy when I said I wanted an elective induction. I didn't listen either.
  #17  
August 24th, 2013, 08:09 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Indiana
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skye10 View Post
I think that your other thread got a little out of hand but I still think most of us stated our opinions nicely and respectively.
That's a hot topic and these ladies were still nicer than the ones in my DDC with my last pregnancy when I said I wanted an elective induction. I didn't listen either.
Are you kidding? You think they were nice and respectful? Is no one seeing the people who called me selfish, or immature, or called me plain stupid in a nice way, if there is such a thing. I know how to take advice when it is given to me respectfully but i waa being harassed, and i wish more than one person could see that. There is such a thing as backing off respectfully, i tried to do that but more people kept coming at me, saying the same thing and people kept getting more rude..
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  #18  
August 24th, 2013, 08:14 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,336
Your last thread was, by your own recollection, the *fourth* time that the women on the this board had tried to share their experiences with you. When I said that you had been given lots of wonderful advice, gently and graciously, I specified "until this point" because many of us spent a lot of time trying to express our concerns kindly but clearly the first, second and third times you brought it up. Everyone is frustrated. We're ALL uncomfortable and tired. We have mamas who are still working full time jobs, or who spend all of their days taking care of their older children.

We have one mama whose sweet baby girl, who, on paper was mere days away from being "term", has been in the NICU for over a week and likely has at least another week to go before she can come home. You've flat out refused to hear anyone out and have thrown a lot of, "Whatever, my friends are doing it, if you could just blindly support me that would be fabulous." back in everyone's faces. If there are ladies here who've lost patience, there's a reason for it. This isn't just a matter of being right or wrong - these ladies KNOW you've been around since the beginning and that's why they care so much about the safety of both you and your unborn baby girl.

I don't agree that you've been picked on. If you feel like you're the only person who's getting this kind of information, it's because, well, you're the only person who's been talking about wanting to be induced as soon as possible for on a regular basis for the last several months.

In any case, you're welcome to either remain on the board or leave. If you'd like to stay, then say so. You have been around for a long time and I don't think anyone wants you to be run off the board. At the same time, you will continue to get honesty in response to your questions - it's not always going to be blind support. Only you can decide if that's something you want. If you're really going to leave, then say your farewells and stop hanging out and responding and making new threads telling us how evil and mean we are for disagreeing with your decision.

It's your choice, and I wish you the best either way.
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Last edited by Keakie; August 24th, 2013 at 08:17 PM.
  #19  
August 24th, 2013, 08:24 PM
321abc
Guest
Posts: n/a
I said most.
I read two maybe three posts that could have been worded differently but I think your words of reasoning were like a stab to some of the moms who had bad experiences.
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  #20  
August 24th, 2013, 08:25 PM
Grlsshp9's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Southern Indiana
Posts: 1,183
So I shouldn't be happy that I'm getting induced just because other women are or have been through a hard time? That's selfish! & I states that this was the THIRD time not the fourth that I've been picked on about being induced, and I wasnt asking anyone what they thought about it, I was simply stating what IS going to happen because that what you're supposed to do, you know..update. I don't rightly care if people are frustrated that I've been talking about an induction for months, it is my right? If i had a bad experience with something i would share my experience, wish them the best and MOVE ON. I wouldnt keep bugging someone if i knew they had their mind made up, because what would that accomplish? Nothing.
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