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  #1  
February 14th, 2013, 03:02 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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I'm not sure how this whole thing works, so... I guess I'll leave it open and hope that you do

How are you doing?
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  #2  
February 22nd, 2013, 06:40 PM
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Hey,
Sorry I'm so not on the ball here and didn't notice the thread. I'm OK trying to survive being pregnant and horrible m/s with a 19 month old. How about you? Any news on the gender or are you team green?
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  #3  
February 22nd, 2013, 10:52 PM
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No worries I usually only pop in every few days.

Things are some insane level beyond stressful here. Taking it day by day. We're hoping to get our u/s appointment in about three weeks; it won't be before the 8th, I just hope it won't take too long for us to get in.

I'm so glad I got lucky in the m/s category of pregnancy. I do not envy you that at all I hope it turns tail and runs. I noticed you're from the KC area - we almost moved there a few years ago. I really wish we had.
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; February 25th, 2013 at 12:42 PM.
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  #4  
February 25th, 2013, 01:42 PM
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Sorry you have to wait so long to find out what your having that must be so hard! I just have to know lol. I hope you get in soon. I had my anatomy scan and everything looked great so that a huge relief since they can usually find most problems during this scan.
The m/s is horrible but I had it with DD too so I can't say I'm too surprised. It's safe to say that this will be our last baby.
That's cool that you almost lived around here. We've gotten some horrible snow storms and one's on the way so that sucks but other than that it's a nice place. Do you live near Chicago? I've always wanted to go there but we never seem to get there.
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  #5  
February 27th, 2013, 12:11 AM
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If I hadn't switched OB's I probably would have had an u/s by now, but I'd also be miserable, so I'm ok with waiting (even though it seems like time is absolutely crawling now). Truth be told I'm really afraid that we'll get there and find something is wrong. Our tap water makes me vomit everything, even after being boiled, and I was drinking it/ eating with it for the first 13 weeks before I figured it out. I have no idea what about it makes me sick and I'm terrified it's something that affected the baby's development.

In that sense I can fully relate to the m/s, that's what I thought I was experiencing. Talk about miserable. I think I'd have cried if I'd had to put up with it for much longer. I don't know that I could sign up for another baby if I had to be that miserable again.

Chicago is about an hours further drive than KC, though I'm originally from Chicago. Quincy is right on the IL/MO border; five hours from Chicago and four hours from your area. We have friends in Overland Park and Olathe which are what nearly brought us to move there. We've visited a few times - not the most stimulating drive - and really love the area. I still want to get the heck out of this town but I don't know which of the two we'd choose now. We've talked about Chicago, too.

We got the snow storms last Thursday and today too, but from what I saw the whole KC area got it a lot worse last week. Today's wasn't even that bad for us; it was so warm that it turned to slush right away. Waste of a snow day! I'd guess it's probably freezing now so tomorrow may be the worst of it. Did you guys get hit hard?

Did you find it scary when you were pregnant the first time? Impending parenthood, I mean?
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; February 27th, 2013 at 12:13 AM.
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  #6  
March 4th, 2013, 10:43 AM
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That stinks you have to wait but I'm glad you found an OB that you like. I really thought about switching but this OB delivered DD and this will probably be our last so I think I'll just stick it out. I hope you find out soon. I was also so worried that something would be wrong with the baby b/c I didn't take prenantals to start since we weren't trying and DH's mom had 2 girls with horrible birth defects that folic acid prevents. But he was all good that goodness. I'm sure baby will be fine but that's weird about the water.
That's cool you're so familiar with KC. I live in Olathe and have my whole life. It's a nice place to live minus the weather. The snow was awful we got like 21 inches in a week. That's usually as much as we get all winter!
It's funny you ask about worrying about parenting. I was worried if we could do it but I was so consumed with labor and delivery that I didn't think about life when we got home and how hard a newborn is. It was kind of tough on us once DD arrived b/c she was a reflux baby and cried all the time for the first 3 months. Not at all what we were expecting. It's hard to really prepare though b/c you can't until baby is here but you'll do great and be the expert on you baby in no time!
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  #7  
March 8th, 2013, 02:43 PM
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That must have been scary; I just have to sit with the vague worries. I don't have specifics to obsess over. That would put me on edge. Thank goodness he is healthy

It looks like we will find out on Tuesday. I'm really nervous about the whole water situation, but I am trying not to think about it. I can be aware of the possibility without obsessing over it (I hope). Most of all I'm just excited to finally see our baby. We didn't get to see the first ultrasound because it was done in the emergency room. As bowled over as I am with the heartbeat recording, this will be a whole new level of amazing I am sure.

You guys sure got the worst end of the snows. My MO family got hit pretty hard but nowhere near that! From what I heard it wasn't even that bad in St Louis.

I am so used to babies and children I feel like I should be confident in my abilities, but people keep laughing at me and telling me I have no idea. I am scared for labor though; it's the big unknown that you can never prepare for, and there's far more doubt in my abilities there. Hard to feel like I can do much of anything when nobody else believes in me. It's so disheartening. How can anyone know what I'm capable of until I've tried? I almost wish I could be the kind of jerk who discourages them from their hopes and dreams, but I'd feel bad.

Are you feeling any better? Or was it an entire pregnancy duration thing for you last time?
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; March 8th, 2013 at 09:12 PM.
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  #8  
March 9th, 2013, 11:41 AM
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Hey,
I saw you edited some stuff out but I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and I really hope things start to work out for you. It's so hard not to stress and worry about things but I really hope everything works out (it always seems to, right?).

I'm so excited that you finally get to see your little one. I can't believe they didn't let you get a good look in the ER. It's so amazing b/c they really do look like a baby just really tiny. Try not to worry about the water I didn't drink all they told me either and it was fine. Just do the best you can.

If you have experience with babies that's a huge help. You'll know a lot before you even get home. You'll still worry about everything though lol. I remember worrying about if she pooped enough, if her poop looked normal, if she ate enough, or why she cried so much. I have so anxiety though so that just might be me but when they are so tiny you just worry. I'm hoping it won't be so bad this time for me I really think I had PPD and the anxiety on top of it was a lot. I love how my pediatrician put it though, you'll be your baby's expert and know everything so don't let people make you feel any different.

Labor really wasn't too bad for me but who knows how it will go this time. I had a horrible time pushing though and I thought that was the worst. I had to push over 2 hours and was so worn out b/c I labored for over 24 hours. But sometimes people push babies out in like 20 min so I'm not sure why it was so hard for me. I'm also scared for PP. I just don't want to feel all out of whack again.

I'm feeling a little better still dealing the nausea and horrible heartburn. It did pass last time but not at this time yet. I hope things start working out for you and just think about seeing you little one! That will make your day!
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  #9  
March 10th, 2013, 12:47 PM
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Sorry for that. It was nothing personal; some people just know exactly what to say to make me feel like I can't talk about things. I put myself out there and then I regret it every time. There are always the people who know all the answers. I don't need answers. There are no answers to my current problems. What I need is someone who will just listen. I don't know why that's so hard - I do it. And we live in this sickening society where it's no longer ok for anyone to express negative feelings, and that is 100% wrong. If you say you're feeling down, a hundred people will jump to tell you why you should be happy. No I should not be; I should feel what I am feeling when I am feeling it, because that is the most natural thing in the world. It isn't healthy to pretend like all we're unicorns vomiting rainbows all the time. It took me years to be able to feel at all; I used to dissociate from my emotions completely which fueled my depression and anxiety. Then they began to overwhelm me entirely. I couldn't function with a negative feeling; it would drown me for days or weeks. After two years in therapy I can finally sit with my feelings, and I'm a much happier person overall because of it. I had better stop going down this road before it becomes a dissertation.

I'm finally getting a taste of that heartburn/ reflux - holy wow. I don't know how you deal with it constantly! Talk about misery. Coupling that with nausea, no thanks. Do they prescribe you anything for it?

Apparently it's procedure in some places not to show you or tell you anything about the u/s in the emergency room. Not everywhere I would assume, because the attending was new and he seemed really surprised that we didn't get to see the baby or hear the heartbeat. I tried to get a picture from my old OBs office afterwards, but they said the emergency room doesn't keep ultrasounds (they had to send it an hour away to have it read, so wouldn't there have to be some kind of copy somewhere?). And yet my old OB saw it the following week and said it looked good The nurse insisted we wouldn't have been able to see "much" anyway because it was so early - excuse me but "not seeing much" is a lot better than seeing nothing in my book. I would have taken what I could get. Of course since nothing was wrong, there was no need for another ultrasound. We both felt pretty low about that; I feel like we missed out on something really special. Not to mention when you go to the emergency room at 2am because you're bleeding, a piece of paper saying your baby is ok doesn't exactly give you a sense of confidence. It makes me all the more anxious to see the baby this week. It feels like we've been waiting forever. May it be doing whatever it's little heart desires as long as it's healthy and we get to see it.

It seems like PPD is highly under treated. Depression alone is enough to knock you on your butt. It had to be so hard to deal with on top of having a new, high maintenance baby. And it's not like you can just stop the depression, which leaves you feeling helpless. Anxiety on top of it - well, the two feed each other. It's a nasty cycle and makes things so much harder to deal with them simultaneously. I hope you got a lot of support. It doesn't help things when you're feeling low and can't do anything about it, and everyone around you is expecting you to just "get over it." People who have never been depressed really can't understand it. Unfortunately they usually don't even try.

I can imagine the anxiety in my future. I used to babysit a little girl who slept with her head wrapped in her blankets. I can't count how many naps ended very abruptly because I would try to take the blanket off her face after she fell asleep. It terrified me. I know I won't be leaving my baby alone with anyone in the foreseeable future. I don't trust people easily, and I don't ever trust them again once they've given me reason not to. If I can manage to leave my baby with anyone, it will have to be someone I've known and had faith in for a very long time. That's a short list!

I guess I want to touch on this right now because I don't want you to feel like I'm a jerk. People tend to get that impression about me. I apparently come off as having no social manners and being brash and uncaring when, as far as the uncaring part, that couldn't be further from the truth. I'm probably more concerned with others feelings than I should be. Drunks and drug addicts are hardly the healthiest role models. I wasn't raised in the kind of social system where it was expected to ask about someone else. I guess I don't know the "rules" of communicating. I don't sugar coat and I don't lie. I think both are disrespectful. I don't like small talk. If I'm talking about something, it interests me. Anything else feels like a waste of time. There are things I am afraid to ask about. I feel like I have no right to inquire, so I don't. I don't want to pry where I don't belong. I figure if someone wants to talk about it, they will let me know. And when it comes down to it, I'll admit I'm prone to forget to ask how someone else is doing. It slips my mind. If it appears that I just don't care or that I've asked as an afterthought, well I won't deny it might be an afterthought. Sometimes it takes me a while to realize I've forgotten. I don't ask just to be polite, though. Call me strange but I think that's disrespectful to the person I'm talking to. Why ask if you don't care? Apparently this is some universally known rule but I don't understand it.

I should add that I talk a lot, which is probably obvious now! So that's the kind of crazy you're dealing with.
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  #10  
March 20th, 2013, 10:31 AM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hey,
Sorry I've been so MIA again. I saw you had the anatomy scan though and that everything was healthy! Isn't that they best news to hear everything looks normal? I just hope you feel a little better about everything now. Do you feel the baby move a lot now? It seems like the last few weeks my little guy is all over the place all the time.

It's cool that you're blunt and to the point. Don't worry about it. I won't get offended and I'll tell you what's going on. I like to talk too. LOL!

I have been so all over the place the last week with not feeling well (that's not unusual) and just feeling so guilty about wanting it to be July already and knowing it will wreck Jennifer's whole life (my DD). None of my friends have kids so they don't understand but I just feel so horrible about it and I could sit here a cry about it. I am a hormonal mess I guess and I'm sorry but I HATE being pregnant with a passion and having this baby be unplanned is really hard for me. I hope you're not offended b/c I know some people get upset that I'm not all on board when some people have trouble conceiving. Anyway, now you know why I've been laying low b/c I'm just miserable and don't feel like I'm much help to people on the board.

Anyway, how are you doing? Are you getting ready to do the GD test? I have mine in a couple weeks. Did you buy anything for baby after the scan to celebrate? It seems like we are getting really close now and time is moving so fast! I hope things are less stressful for you now and sorry to unload on you. Talk to you soon.
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  #11  
March 21st, 2013, 03:55 PM
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You know what, just because you have what some people can't doesn't mean you have to be vomiting rainbows over it. I have a mom and some people don't - that doesn't mean I'm going to jump for joy and ignore the fact that she's a drug addict. I will still always be a little sad about it and wish that she wasn't. And there were times in my life when it would have been disastrous for us to have had a baby; I'm glad it didn't happen then. There are benefits to planned parenthood. Even so, we planned this baby and I do wish some things were different. Losing my job and having my taxes seized were not part of the plan. It isn't wrong to acknowledge the down sides of the situation; if anything, it's wiser to.

That aside, not everyone is thrilled about pregnancy for many different reasons. I'm really fortunate to have an easy pregnancy - I know many women who weren't so lucky. If I was nauseous and puking all the time I'd be miserable too. Maybe people should practice putting themselves in your shoes before telling you what you should or shouldn't feel And even then they couldn't fully comprehend your emotions because they haven't had the same thoughts and experiences as you, so they have no right to judge. You shouldn't have to just accept their attitudes and judgments, either. What gave them the right to make you feel bad?

I don't think you're wrong in worrying about how this will fall on Jennifer. Having a new baby is always an adjustment for kids, and for parents. Kids have to learn to share their parents, and babies do always need a little more attention because they're so helpless, so parents have to learn to give less time to an older child than they used to. I think it's actually really intuitive that you think about it. I've seen it be easier on some kids than others; I'm sad to say I have seen it really negatively impact some kids lives. When the new baby was born it was as if the older children never existed at all. Those parents never thought about the impact (a lot of them never cared much even before the new baby). You're already thinking about it though, and I think that separates you from them. That's not to say that it won't be a changing, learning process; I'm sure it will. It seems to me that she has a mom that really cares about her well being though, and that must make a difference.

Things are what they are, here. I haven't felt this relaxed since the beginning. Having confirmation that everything is ok is what I needed, I think. Everything else in the world couldn't matter any less next to that. I am a little annoyed at people atm - everyone and their dog are obsessed with gender. I've met a surprising amount of opposition from people who insist that I'm wrong for not wanting my baby in pink, frilly princess dresses from birth. If I went around telling people they were doing it wrong it would be fine, but I don't (unless they're doing something horrendously wrong, in which case they generally don't want to be friends anymore). I respect each parents right to do things their own way. I thought at the very least the same courtesy would be extended to me. Apparently mutual respect is a foreign concept these days.

BF's sister seems to think I'm crazy because I don't expect my friends and family to buy things at prices I would die before paying. If I wouldn't, why would I be so pretentious as to assume someone else should? I made the registry to focus on essentials. If people are going to use the registry, I would rather they spent money on things we need and cannot afford. I can go to a yard sale, thrift store, or dollar store and pick up onesies and socks for a reasonable price. I cannot go to any of these places and pick up, say, a stroller or a nursing pillow. We have very different ideas of how to be considerate and respectful - which is fine. She thinks my registry isn't good enough and wants to "help" me with it. I think we're going to butt heads. So long as she can handle us disagreeing, it'll be fine I'm sure. I hope she can.

We ordered the baby book and picked it up after the ultrasound. I love it This baby is definitely everywhere too! I can't believe I'm feeling kicks just below my belly button already. And there's a really noticeable pattern of sleep and wake times. Between 12:30am and 3am she has parties in there. Good to know we share a sleep schedule. Time sure is flying by. We're already past the half way point! Seems impossible. I can't remember when the lab tech said we'd have the GD tests (she's due a little before me), either my coming appointment or the one after.

How is the little guy doing? Or seem to be doing? Is Jennifer getting ready for preschool next year or does she still have a while?
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  #12  
March 22nd, 2013, 12:00 PM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm so glad you understand. My SIL made a comment on my FB about I just need to be grateful we can have a baby at all and to enjoy it. OMG I think I may go off on her. She has no kids, just got married (for 2nd time), and does whatever she wants b/c she make a ton of money so they travel and even got married in Hawaii. She's telling me to be grateful he life is looking like roses to me as I'm changing poopy diapers while trying not to barf all over. UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, sorry. Anyway hopefully things start to get better my stomach just feels so awful all the time I'm not sure if it's reflux or what but I think I'll call the Dr. Monday if it's not any better.

So do you have any support from family besides your husband/bf? I can't imagine what it's like to not have my mom through all of this. While is nice you're having an easier pregnancy it's still hard to be pregnant!

I hope you're right about us being more prepared to deal with Jen and adjusting to a new sibling. I just have no idea what to expect and that is so scary. But I guess I didn't know what to expect with her. I'm always asking DH what's worse to know or not to know what's coming. While we know how challenging a new baby is and how labor was we have no idea what life with 2 kids will be. How are you feeling about all the changes coming up?

Sorry everyone is so obsessed with the gender. When we had Jen everyone got all the frilly dresses and while they are sweet she never wore them. I can understand not wanted to dress you little girl in stuff like that- it's not comfy. Even now Jen wears sweat and sweat pants. She hates hair stuff too. I guess she's not going to be into the girly stuff. But that's fine. Just ignore them everyone want to doll those little girl baby's up but they'll see soon enough that's not real life.

I totally understand getting baby gear at great prices. I bought the big stuff new like the car seat, crib/mattress b/c I didn't want to risk those being used but other than that we went with used. Even now for Jen I go to tons of consignment sales or stores or buy clothes the season before she'll need them when they are super cheap. I refuse to spend good money on stuff that you can get for practically new condition. Babies are really not hard on clothes at all. When I registered last time I also just did the essentials but my MIL bought a TON of brand new clothes and honestly she bought the wrong sizes and stuff that was not very practical so we didn't use a lot of it. What a waste! We really needed the car seat, bottles, diapers not cutesy dresses that she wore 1 time or still has the tags .

I still need a baby book! They are so fun to fill out and I love looking at Jen's. It's hard to believe she was ever that small. I'm glad you are getting a start on it because I'm sure you'll love looking back at it too! We are trying to get the baby's room together and the dresser came today. Now we just need to get Jen out of the crib. Not looking forward to that lol. Do you guys have a baby room to get ready or will baby girl room in with you guys? This is our spare room so after this we're out of room. Any ideas on themes? I think it's fun to start picking out that stuff even if baby doesn't have their own room.

I'm think William (baby boy) is doing well he sure does move a ton. I'm kind of starting to wonder about these stomach aches and I hope he's ok in there but I'm sure I'm just being paranoid. Do you have any idea on names yet? I'm not sure about preschool yet Jen won't be 2 until July 21st so I think we may wait another year or so but I may change my mind with a newborn!

I hope you have a good weekend! Anything fun planned? We are getting another snowstorm. I think I may move.
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  #13  
March 30th, 2013, 03:40 PM
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I had a reply all written out the other day and then I lost it. I'll give it another try. This weekend so far has been a lot of doing nothing because I'm not supposed to. We have BF's easter today and mine tomorrow, so that'll be about it for me. I've been sewing a lot; I made a hat for baby and am working on a matching jacket. We're fostering my cousins dog too, which is turning out to be a little more trouble than anticipated, though it's not his fault.

I know some people like your SIL - they think they know everything and are always right, and have the right to tell everyone else what to feel and do. There's not much easier than telling someone what to do when you've never been where they are. I can't decide if they just have no idea what manners are or if they're so oblivious that they really can't see they're being rude. If your SIL was in your shoes I'd bet she wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows. I'd like to see one person find out they'll have to have cervical cancer cut out of them repeatedly for the rest of their life and then tell me I shouldn't be upset. I'd like even more to trade someone this and see how their bullsh*t optimism holds up. It's only the people who have never had it and aren't facing it that have something to say. Either way I think it must be nice to have all the answers and be in a position to never have to find out if they're right.

Honestly I wouldn't call anyone in my life support. Even BF fails in that category. Most of the people in my family are addicts, and while some days they can be great to talk to, you never know what day is the right day. Or even what hour. The time may come that you need their support and they're high and can't give it, which just leaves me feeling completely alone. Others are the know-it-all types who can't tolerate me disagreeing with them because they know everything. The rest are the types who are there to celebrate with me, but when things turn bad they either disappear or bury their heads so deeply in the sand I can't count on them to be there. They can't handle the reality of the situation if it involves anything but happy things. When it comes to the serious things - like the cervical cancer and this cerclage - I'm alone. But given the choice between trying to lean on them and being let down or just not counting on them at all, I'd rather skip the disappointment. I've stopped expecting support from anyone. It kind of sucks but I've needed to learn to do it for a while. They aren't good for me now so they won't be good for me later, and if they're bothering me they're taking away from the parent she'll need. Not to mention they'll do the same to her when she needs them. One of my biggest fears about parenthood is how I will manage to protect her from all the hurt of being surrounded by unhealthy people. After all, if I haven't found a way to protect myself, how can I do so for her without cutting them out of her life? I don't want her to grow up with the constant disappointments and pain like I did. I can't know until I try obviously, so right now I just have to try to be prepared.

The only person I'd say I really have is my cousin Suzanne, but she lives hours away in Jefferson City. I really respect her because she's been where I've been, and even if she doesn't agree she listens to me and respects my opinions. She doesn't cut me down for thinking differently from her. That and she and I have recently found we have very similar parenting beliefs, despite not having talked for years (the world before facebook, you know). So she does encourage me in things that we see eye to eye on. Not only that but she and her daughter are proof that you can believe and practice what I do, and succeed. It's not just wishful thinking. I can make my hopes for a confident, happy, psychologically healthy child a reality.

I think from an anxiety standpoint it's always harder to not know what to expect. Those are the things that always get to me, anyway. I know people say the second baby is easy because you've been there, but truthfully how can it be the same? The first time you went through it you didn't have another child to care for. So sure, it's easier in things like knowing how to soothe the baby and feed it, but having two is all new territory for you. If you weren't considering that fact you'd be in denial, really. I think it's more difficult to not acknowledge the reality of any situation and then be taken by surprise by what you chose not to think about. So, in my opinion, you have a good start on things. That won't take away the stress obviously, but maybe it will help some. I hope it will.

I'm trying to be nice to people, but it's getting difficult. People are so stuck in gender stereotypes; never mind that children don't even develop gender until they're 3 or 4. My parents bought us this adorable green and gray sleeper last night, I just love it, but the first thing out of someone's mouth was, "Aren't you having a girl?" What the does that have to do with anything? Call me crazy but I'm thankful for the gift, even more so because it's adorable. Since when do colors have gender orientations? And last month another person offered us some baby socks - on the contingency that we were having a boy. What does sex have to do with socks?! Can clothes that a baby boy wore not be given to a baby girl? I could just slap some people. The world is too big to have such a small mind.

On a better note, a friend gave us a bunch of baby stuff today. You could say I have this list of baby things we really need, and another list of things I would like but we can't afford. All of the stuff she gave us is on the second list A bouncer, a walker, a carrier, a bumbo, a jumper, a bottle/toy sanitizer, and even a stuffed dog and a musical toy. It's amazing to me how generous some people are. It restores my faith in humans a little bit. I hope I can pass it along one day.

I love the baby book - I wish there was more I could put in it. Soon enough there will be, though! We just have our one bedroom, and now our plans to get a two are shot, so she'll be sleeping in our room. When we thought we'd have a two bedroom I had a book theme picked out. I think it would have been fun to do; maybe eventually. We picked Breña Marie as her name; well, I did, and BF came around after a day or two. That was our arrangement from the beginning - he got the boy first name, I got the girl first name. I thought Marie went perfectly with it and he really liked it too so we went with that even though it was my choice.

Have the reflux/ stomach aches eased any? Or did your doctor have any suggestions to help? Maybe some antacids? This reflux is unreal. I can't so much as touch peanut butter anymore! How is William's room coming together? Did you guys choose a theme?

PS - Phew, sorry! I didn't intend for it to be this long!
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  #14  
April 7th, 2013, 07:50 PM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hey,
Sorry you are having so many issues now with your cervix. That is really hard to know that they let you go too far without telling your dr. and now you just have to wait and see. We are so close though to having a really good chance that even if baby comes now it will have a chance and baby having an even better shot in just a few weeks. I'm glad they gave you the steroid shots just in case. I hope you are taking it easy and babying yourself! I wish I had some better advice but I'm sorry I don't and really don't know much about babies wanting to come this early.

That's really tough that you don't have much support around you and with the added stress you have now of pre-term labor I hope you can talk to your friend about it. I can't imagine having to try to keep your child from all the stuff your family does. I guess the good thing is if you let your family around her as a baby and they screw up you know it won't work and she won't remember. But cutting them out would be so hard. I would hope that they just wouldn't expose your child to those unhealthy lifestyles but that is probably wishful thinking. I hope they start to realize how soon she'll be here though and really make the effort because your daughter and you deserve that.

That's so cool that you got all that baby stuff. Some people really surprise you and are so generous! I'm sure you'll love having a lot of that stuff. I know the bumbo came in handy so much once baby could hold her head up. I'm sure you'll end up using most of that stuff and baby girl will love it!

The reflux is a little better for me now. Is it getting better for you? If it keeps up I get to go to a GI dr. my OB wasn't too helpful. Will's room is a mess! We need to paint still and decorate. We are doing a safari theme but really need to get started. You really won't need a 2nd bedroom for awhile. It's so handy having baby sleep in your room in the beginning and we won't even use his room at first. They are so little and really don't need much at first. Once Brena is a little older you'll have tons of fun decorating. They just outgrow the nursery stuff so fast it seems! (how do you do the ~ over the n? Sorry I can't remember!)

I'm going to head to bed. Sorry this is brief this week has been so hard and long. My Aunt, who was on hospice passed on April 1st. She had stage 4 stomach cancer and was so so sick. It was horrible to watch her wither away to nothing but the Funeral was Saturday and it was so hard. She was only 55 and my poor cousins are only 27 and 24. Then we found out today that my husband's Aunt was found dead today. She was in her late 50's and he thinks she killed herself which really makes me so confused. We prayed so long and hard that my Aunt would have a miracle and she died after fighting so hard and then someone else just throws it all away. They will do the autopsy tomorrow and I hope she didn't kill herself because I don't know how I can be supportive. I know that sounds awful but it's the truth.

Try to kick your feet up and rest if you can and I hope baby Brena is behaving herself and stays baking!
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  #15  
April 12th, 2013, 10:30 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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Ah man, that's so hard Death is difficult enough, but two deaths back to back, during pregnancy, while you're feeling so bad, and have so much on your mind already - it must feel like it weighs a ton more. Oddly last year I lost two of my aunts within three weeks of each other. It really knocks you off your feet when deaths fall right on top of one another like that. Did you learn anything from the autopsy? If you don't want to talk about it I definitely understand. There was a lot of speculation about whether or not my aunts intentionally OD'd; I believe at least one of them did. Suicide does very strange things to the minds of the survivors. If it's something you feel like talking about I am here to listen. Either way I hope both of your families can find some peace. I know it's never easy or quick.

Oddly enough, losing so many family members in the past few years is one of the main reasons I really wanted to have a baby now. It hit me that my child would grow up without these people and that lack is so immense. It also brought home the fact that the people I love won't be around forever, and life just passes too quickly for some things to wait. That's part of what makes it so hard for me to know what to do about the family I have left. I don't want to spend the rest of their lives hating them and keep my child from them if I can help it, because I know it may not be all that long before they're gone. They aren't perfect but I hope deeply that I can find a way to keep her safe and have them in her life, because they're all that's left. Maybe I'm just dreaming that there even is a way. You'd think that losing two relatives to drug OD's in the same month would be a wake up call for them but it hasn't. They've had enough time to get their priorities straight. If they make me choose, I will choose her best interest. That's all there is to it.

I think the n with the tilda is alt0241 but I'm not sure. The reflux seems to be easily beaten by tums for me; I wish you could be that lucky too! I would think your OB would be a little more helpful, maybe give you some prevacid samples or something. I don't think that some people realize there is a difference between heartburn and reflux. Reflux isn't just miserable, it can be damaging. But it being miserable is quite enough. Maybe your PCP could dig up some samples? Gosh I don't know if they even do prevacid samples anymore. It's been a long time since I needed it.

I love jungley things. Probably because my favorite color is green. I've honestly never done much in the way of decorating, I wouldn't know where to start. I'll bet it comes out cute when it's done though

I really need to stop procrastinating on my reading; I have an exam on Thursday and I have 3.5 chapters to read. Oops. Kind of got behind in all the stress. I hope you're feeling a little better, though I know you probably aren't. I'm still reeling some days from deaths three and four years ago. One day at a time, you know?
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  #16  
April 17th, 2013, 07:44 PM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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I can't even believe this so I'm sure you won't either but my DH, Cole's grandma passed away last night. She was 94 but it was sudden. I would assume a massive heart attack because she was in the bathroom at her house (she lived with my in-laws) and they heard a thump and she had fallen. They ran back there and she was already gone. They called 911 but there was nothing the paramedics could do and she was also a DNR. We spent the day down at their house and they seem to be doing ok. She lived a long life and didn't suffer but it's still a loss none the less. After watch my Aunt suffer so much with cancer and die earlier this month I really feel that this was a blessing to have her go so peacefully.

Cole's Aunt's autopsy came back as normal so nothing was found that would explain her death. The toxicology though will take some time but I wouldn't be surprised if we don't hear what they find with that. I'm sure she OD'd and whether it was on purpose or an accident I don't know. I am just so upset that some people just give everything up while others fight so hard to live. I guess it all goes back to life isn't fair. It's just so hard to accept.

I'm OK really. I'm a little in awe with the last 3 weeks though and wondering when it will all end. I'm starting to think that this little unplanned baby was really meant to be because this year has been so tough on both of our families.

I'm glad you are going to try and give your family a chance to meet the baby and let them be involved. And if they blow it then you will have no choice but to do what's best for your daughter. There's really nothing else you can do and no one can really blame you for not letting people be involved with her if they showed they are not able to be good role models. I really hope they surprise you though.

Good to hear you are feeling better and that tums are working well. My reflux has really backed off the last weeks or so. I'm so happy and just hope I can hold out until he's born. My dr. told me I could take tums or pepcid but neither seemed to help. She's older and kind of old school so I guess that's why she isn't offering a lot of options. I don't know really but I trust her totally during delivery even if she's doesn't have the most friendly and helpful personality.

What have you found out about your cervix? Are you having contractions or was that a false alarm? Do they have any idea if you are going to make it a lot further now? Good news is I think once we hit 28 weeks the babies have a really great chance and just would need time in the NICU. Almost there! That is really scary though and hard not knowing what's going on.

What are you studying? Are you taking online classes or going to a school right now? I loved school and college but now looking back it really sucked having all that reading, homework and studying! Are you close to finishing? Good luck with it, I'm not sure I could make my lazy butt do it now.
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  #17  
April 22nd, 2013, 08:51 AM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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That is horrible! Your poor family! Honestly, I never thought it possible to lose so many family members in such short periods until it happened to us. I mean the odds must be so low. I hate that so much suffering is falling on your family. The holidays are going to be hard this year But William can bring some happiness to everyone. There will be something for them to celebrate this year in the face of all the loss. It is definitely needed I'm sure.

I hate to say it but you're probably right - that you won't hear about it. Nobody ever heard what exactly happened to my aunt Lisa, just speculation. It was nearly a year before I heard discreetly that when they found her she had emptied pill bottles nearby. It just isn't something that is easily brought up I guess. As much as I love her, you're right it isn't fair. People p*ss away life and family like it's nothing while so many others would give anything just to have what they did. And they cause so much pain. They don't seem to think about what their decisions do to the people who care about them. Maybe they do, but obviously it isn't enough of a deterrent. It disappoints me. What right do they have?

So far, no miraculous recoveries have come out of the wood work. Last weekend I asked my mom to drive me to take my cousins prom portraits because our car isn't highway safe. She agreed and brought my cousins kids (her foster kids) so they could visit with our family there. While I was working, she went to my cousin and bought some pills. I didn't know it at the time - the 14 year old told me after we got home (yes she was with her and witnessed it!) Worse, she decided to take some before driving us home! We were on the road maybe 10 minutes before her eyes started closing at the wheel. It's a miracle we made it home and avoided the accidents we did. They were very close calls, even with me trying to get her to let me drive and to keep her awake and in the right lane. She terrified those poor kids, and was yelling at me and the little boy because I was trying to keep her awake and he kept saying he didn't want to risk his life because she took a pill. Really - without being told, a 9 year old knew that's what was going on! And she got mad at us!

I'm beyond fed up and done with this. She used to do this when we were younger too, and she never listens to sense. She is always "just tired" and we are just mean to her. My brother wants to take her car keys. I don't think it's a bad idea at all. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to those kids because I didn't do anything to help. This is exactly why I would never trust her with my child. All of the stress from that one hour drive is what caused the contractions. Fortunately they were only BH and they stopped later that evening. I did find out my cervical length - its 2.64. From what I've read, 2.5 is when full-fledged bed rest begins. I just hope its the case that my cervix was that short from the beginning (my first OB never checked it) and it hasn't/won't get any shorter. I see my doctor this week so hopefully I'll know a little more.

That's great that you're feeling better! Maybe something about third trimester is the key. Whatever it is that did it, I hope it lasts. You know I was reading a post on another board about a family with a new baby and an older child who is having a hard time adjusting. It made me think of your concerns about Jennifer. The replies she got were really great, psychologically speaking they are absolutely sound. I didn't know if you'd be interested in reading them in case issues ever do come up. The thread is here (Help!?! Need advice from BTDT moms!).

I've just gotten back to school this semester after a long break. I'm hoping to get my psych degree and get into a field working with children. I'm really struggling though. Being unmedicated means I get overwhelmed easily, and I have a hard time doing assignments if I think they're a waste of my time (like the jr high level stuff you have to go through in all the gen eds). I actually had to drop a class because I could see I had lost all my desire to put any effort into it. I'm definitely going to have to take a break after this until I'm done breastfeeding.

Does it seem to you like time has just flown by and baby will be here before you know it? July seems so close now!
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  #18  
May 2nd, 2013, 11:20 AM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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Sorry I've been missing again. Cole's Grandma's funeral was last Friday and we spent most of last week with his family. Then Jen was running a fever and throwing up Saturday and Sunday and now she's sick with a cold. I hate having sick babies it really is the worst. She didn't get sick once all winter and now she just can't seem to catch a break .

I just can't believe that your mother knowingly got into a car and drove with pregnant you and little kids in the car and was going to buy drugs. I just don't even understand how someone could do that, let alone your own mother. I really am sorry that you have to deal with that and I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom but I really don't know. I don't blame you at all for not wanting Brena around all of that. I really hope that once she is born your mom will never put you or her in that situation but you're smart to be so leery of her.

I'm glad you are holding steady and still pregnant. Hopefully things will continue to remain the same so your little girl can keep cooking. Did you dr. know anything new at your apt? I saw you had another ultrasound and got another sneak peek and Brena looked so sweet and so much bigger already! It's so hard to believe how fast they are growing.

Gen. ed. classes were the worst. I have a bachelor's in elem. ed. and I had to take so many science classes with labs and it was a joke and I barely got through them. But once I got to the classes that I was actually interested in things got a lot better. It's tough to get through stuff you know you won't use. I think it's a good idea to take a break once the baby comes so you can settle in and get used to your new life. It's a lot of changes to take in while being in school and you want to do your best at both.

Well I hope you are still feeling good. I'm feeling pretty good considering. Just getting uncomfy and out of breath a lot. I'm just so ready for Jen to be back to normal and the weather to finally warm up for good (it's going to snow here again tomorrow) and to be done with funerals hopefully now. I was hoping to work now that we are done with all the funerals but now that Jen's sick guess I can't. And school will be out soon so I won't be able to sub until next year. It sucks because we could use the money but it seems like something always comes up now. Talk to you soon and hope you guys don't get the snow!
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  #19  
May 11th, 2013, 03:10 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. School is almost over so I've been buckling down for finals, and then my computer started acting crazy. It wouldn't let me on JM for more than maybe five minutes. Well all that and I've just been absentminded.

Quote:
She didn't get sick once all winter and now she just can't seem to catch a break .
I have a friend who said the same thing about her kids recently. I wonder why the germs sat and waited for warmer weather? It sucks that she was sick Kids really shouldn't be allowed to get sick. It isn't fair. Is she feeling any better now?

Honestly, this is the kind of crap my mom did while I was growing up. I would have thought after wrecking her car and damaging so many other peoples that she would have grown up a little bit but clearly she hasn't. I sure won't give her the opportunity to do that to me ever again. It sickens me. Fortunately right now she has no vehicle, hopefully it will stay that way.

The last ultrasound showed my cervix at a 3.7 so that's a huge relief. I don't know how it got longer but I definitely have no complaints! It makes me feel a lot better. We got a light dusting of snow but it melted right away, just a lot of rain since then. Today is still a little chilly here. I wouldn't mind going back to those warmer temperatures!

I really hope you've had no more funerals to go to. I think you've had quite enough! Everyone has a lot to cope with already with all that's happened. Are you still feeling ok? Did you get to pick up any work?

I've been trying to pick up some work too but nobody's biting. I've only gotten two sessions. Of course with all the stress from the baby shower I don't know that I could concentrate anyway. I don't know how it ended up being my job to take care of everything that the host doesn't want to do. I spent the morning with a really tight stomach, feeling like I was going to vomit.

I just got sick so I'm going to lay down.
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; May 11th, 2013 at 03:42 PM.
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  #20  
May 22nd, 2013, 08:06 AM
ahruska's Avatar Super Mommy
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Hi,
Hope you are all done with school now! Summer time!! I wish I had some exciting plans or fun things to do with Jen during the day but I guess it's business as usual. Are you guys going to do anything fun before the baby comes? We went to Branson this weekend and it was a mess. Jen is just not used to leaving home and sleeping in a hotel and was really cranky. My DH was also kind of a jerk. I really wanted this weekend to be special b/c it's the last thing we were all doing together before the baby is born. Oh well.

I'm glad your cervix is still long enough and maybe even getting a little better. We are getting so close to being term. It's just such a relief once you get there. Are you feeling better now? Any idea on why you were getting sick? This last trimester can be rough sometimes. I hope you are feeling better now.

Did you find any extra work around? Did your BF hear back about that new job. I'm sure you are on pins and needles waiting to hear about that. I really hope he gets it. Try to take it easy and rest. I don't know about you but I'm so sore and tired all of the sudden! Being preggo in the middle of summer will be brutal too. Talk to you soon!
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