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co-sleeping?


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 7th, 2013, 05:56 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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Normally when I read about it, it's articles in a feminist zine or something where people erupt in the comments, so I don't know if I have a balanced perspective on it. It seems a good # of people choose to co-sleep with their children. I do not understand this and was wondering if someone that plans on doing that could explain their reasons to me.

I don't think I could manage it past the first couple of weeks - I need my personal space. I'm looking at a pack and play or a bassinet for the room for when he's a newborn, but beyond that, it's up to bed. I saw my brothers take over my parent's bedroom like the plague when they were younger, but when I was a baby, I had a bed time. I remember it. I guess this is why I feel this way. I honestly didn't know that people planned to have their children beside them - I thought it was something that happened but like my brothers, they snuck in there and wouldn't leave.
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  #2  
February 7th, 2013, 07:21 AM
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We never intended to, but did it quite a bit with DS1. It was just easy. Especially if you're nursing then during the night they are right there and just plop the boob in. But it was really really difficult to get him into his own room. Thankfully we moved and in the new house just made him stay in his own room. DS2 never showed any interest in sleeping with us, even from the time he was itty bitty. DS3 I usually fell asleep holding him in the glider in our room. It's just not really the thing for us either...I like my space too. Yeah the snuggles with DS1 were great when he did it, some of the times, but I was ready for him to stop too!
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  #3  
February 7th, 2013, 07:25 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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I should start off by confessing that i was def. not in the bedsharing camp, just co-sleeping in the sense of being in same room but baby in crib. I didn't even attempt to bedshare with Savannah as a baby, worried about safety concerns, but when she turned 18 months I turned a corner and found it was a very easy way to soothe her (she's a super light sleeper so would wake multiple times a night even at 18 months)...don't regret it in the slightest and would def. do it again, and probably at younger age, if we faced the same sleep deprivation challenges we did with her.
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  #4  
February 7th, 2013, 07:38 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I think you are a first time mom right?? I am not sure, but if you are just don't make any hard and fast decisions until the baby comes. I planned to co-sleep (baby in our room in a bassinet for 4 months) and honestly we bedshared for 18 months almost! I loved it, I will definitely be doing it again. You get wayyy more sleep and honestly there are huge benefits to co-sleeping to both mom and baby- and the SIDS rates are lower.

Here is a link to a Dr. Sears list of benefits where he back it all up with research.
Scientific Benefits of Co-Sleeping | Ask Dr. Sears®

Most bases of smotherings, etc. are when the parent has been using drugs or alcohol or when they haven't been following safe co-sleeping practices.

Babies sleeping alone in a crib in their own room are relatively new developments of the course of human history. Babies are meant to be close to their mommas, especially at night.

Why not side-car your crib if you need some space?

Home - How we sidecarred our crib
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  #5  
February 7th, 2013, 07:47 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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First timer, yea... I just see the stress it puts on my SIL who had to do it (her daughter has type 1 diabetes and needs monitoring) and their marriage, as well as positive examples from friends that have established bed time routines.. I can't picture giving up my time with my husband in bed where we have sex and talk and relate to each other for that long. Happy parents = happy baby, right? I only have a queen sized bed, too.

We shall see how it goes!
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  #6  
February 7th, 2013, 07:52 AM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was pretty much against it before we had our first. But after those 1st painful nights of trying to get her to sleep in her own bed we relented and it was the best decision ever.

With my second, we didn't have a ton of room in our apartment, and with a 2 year old running around it just worked best for everyone to co-sleep. I did try to put her in her pack n play to get her used to it when the time came to switch. It worked out well.

We are super safe when it comes to co-sleeping too. We don't have any big bulky blanket/comforters on the bed. DH has a thin blanket and I have a thin blanket. It is so handy those first couple months. But we don't do extended co-sleeping. By 6 months, like you said, I'm ready for my own space back. Usually by this time baby is only getting up once a night to feed so the transition is pretty easy for us.
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  #7  
February 7th, 2013, 07:55 AM
Fortroseberry's Avatar Veteran
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I did it while night nursing was going on, and oh my was it ever worth it! For both of us should I say. Me knowing they're fine, nursing when they need it, and better sleep for both of us! Plan on doing it again with this baby.,
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  #8  
February 7th, 2013, 07:57 AM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anothermother View Post
I was pretty much against it before we had our first. But after those 1st painful nights of trying to get her to sleep in her own bed we relented and it was the best decision ever.

With my second, we didn't have a ton of room in our apartment, and with a 2 year old running around it just worked best for everyone to co-sleep. I did try to put her in her pack n play to get her used to it when the time came to switch. It worked out well.

We are super safe when it comes to co-sleeping too. We don't have any big bulky blanket/comforters on the bed. DH has a thin blanket and I have a thin blanket. It is so handy those first couple months. But we don't do extended co-sleeping. By 6 months, like you said, I'm ready for my own space back. Usually by this time baby is only getting up once a night to feed so the transition is pretty easy for us.
Oh, yeah - I sleep with a giant fluffy oversized comforter, pillows, a quilt, the fan is on, the cats are in the bed (though not near me, since I need space ) - where would a baby even go?!?

Once a night after a bit is not bad to get up..
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  #9  
February 7th, 2013, 08:00 AM
MadMay's Avatar Super Mommy
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"Researchers have new information about the possible health risks of infant co-sleeping, finding that it can increase the number of times the babies' oxygen level drops in the night and can cause them to rebreathe air they've already exhaled.
But most of the babies in the small study were able to cope with those changes."
Co-Sleeping Research Looks At Breathing Risks For Baby

This is why I would not co-sleep yes its low risk but I see it as me putting my baby at risk. So definitely will not co sleep. I will have a bassinet next to my bed for the first couple of weeks and then little bean will move into the crib in their own room with video monitoring.
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  #10  
February 7th, 2013, 08:03 AM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soul_donut View Post
Oh, yeah - I sleep with a giant fluffy oversized comforter, pillows, a quilt, the fan is on, the cats are in the bed (though not near me, since I need space ) - where would a baby even go?!?

Once a night after a bit is not bad to get up..

And who knows when the baby gets here you might have one of those kids that sleep anywhere just fine! The choices you make you won't really know until that time comes. I'm sure you'll do what's best for you and your baby
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  #11  
February 7th, 2013, 08:06 AM
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I have co-slept with all of my newborns. I find it comforting to me and to them. It also makes late night feeding much easier for me and I get more much needed rest. I am a super light sleeper and a very paranoid person when it comes to my newborn. I like the option of being able to put my hand on his/her chest in the middle of the night while they are sleeping and check their breathing. It's just me though, and I understand why some parents don't do it and why some choose to do it. It is all personal preference in my opinion.
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  #12  
February 7th, 2013, 08:33 AM
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Ditto to joonz and I sleep exactly like Jamie.

I was totally against it with my first but he changed me It makes breastceeding during the night so easy. Baby doesn't wake just stirs and roots. Everyone gets more sleep.
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  #13  
February 7th, 2013, 08:34 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I never planned to do it either, but with my first son he wouldn't SLEEP at all so we tossed him in the bed and thats the way he pretty much stayed for 3-4 years! lol Then my little girl came along and she slept in her bassinet next to the bed fine, then went to her crib in our room fine...then was about 1 year old and we somehow started putting her in our bed and well shes still in our bed a lot! LOL We are so used to it now we miss her when shes not there! Of course with another coming now things will change soon.
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  #14  
February 7th, 2013, 09:02 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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I plan to at least room-share, maybe bed-share with little one. We don't use comforters on our bed anyway. We have a flannel sheet and two thin blankets. Like others said, I plan to do this to make breastfeeding easier.
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  #15  
February 7th, 2013, 09:02 AM
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This is our first and I really think its a case by case basis. I have 4 friends and family members that had babies last year and all slept in the same room with the baby (not in the same bed). They were beyond fried, trying to get sleep where they could. It seemed easier for breast feeding through the night. One SIL, a good friend and cousin were first time moms and also did it out of concern for SIDS. My other SIL was a 4th time mom and thats what she does with all her babies when newborn. My husband and I like our snuggle time at night before we go to bed and in the AM. But I have a feeling that the focus is going to quickly change the day I give birth. I'm a worrier anyways, I think I'll feel better being close to the baby for a while. Not sure till what point, I would assume 5-6 months, but each baby is so different.
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  #16  
February 7th, 2013, 09:31 AM
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We do room sharing. We painted DD's room her favorite color, purple, got Tinkerbell and Dora decals, Fairie curtains.Nope. She still sleeps in our room in a separate bed. Well it works and we are fine with the arrangement, except when we want to make love, we have to sneak out to the guest bedroom LOL. I was dead set against co-sleeping and was very hard on myself and on DD when she was young. Wish I hadn't done that and just gone with the flow. Each child is different. Also I come from a culture where co-sleeping is the norm. I didn't move to my own room untill my late teens!! It was definitely hard on everyone trying to do something that just did not come natural for any of us. With this baby we will just do whatever works best. I don't have any plans set on stone.
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  #17  
February 7th, 2013, 09:54 AM
MarchMom2007's Avatar Sticky baby wanted!
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I actually slept with my son on my chest for the first couple of months. After that, he slept in the crook of my armpit for a few months and then eventually beside me. It made for such an easy time nursing that I thought it was totally worth it. I was ready for him to be in his own bed by about, but he wasnt ready until around 4 and I didn't want to push him. Now at almost 6, he is a very confident kiddo who occasionally comes into my room if he is sick or has a nightmare. It really is whatever works for everyone so you all get the maximum amount of sleep.
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  #18  
February 7th, 2013, 12:09 PM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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I never intended to co-sleep, but it just worked out that way. Im too lazy to get up, get the baby and make a bottle. So nursing in bed is SOOOOOO much easier.

So many people say co sleeping is bad, your kids will never sleep on their own, will never self sooth. Well 7 kids down and no one is still in our bed, and all can manage just fine. They are only that small for a short time.
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  #19  
February 7th, 2013, 01:03 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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I co-sleep because I nurse. My children teeth late so I don't STTN till they are over a year. I am all about putting them in my bed and popping a boob in their mouths!

A doctor once told me that most doctors she knew believed that crib mattresses were a major factor in SIDS. The plastic covers didn't absorb their gases, and that made a pocket of CO2 around their faces. My youngest sleeps on an egg crate mattress in her PnP. when she was younger she slept in a swing due to silent reflux.
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  #20  
February 7th, 2013, 02:07 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We will use a co-sleeper for the first month or two - then they will sleep in their crib with a monitor (video/audio).
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