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Anyone else terrified of adding another child to the family?


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
February 19th, 2013, 11:53 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 5,639
I am so excited to grow our family but so terrified at the same time. How will I do it??

My toddler still needs so much attention... What will I do with a baby while spent 15 minutes doing the nap time routine,30 minutes pitting her to bed? What about nights when DH works late??

I'm kind of freaking out. Any BTDT moms that can assure me it will all be ok?
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  #2  
February 19th, 2013, 11:56 AM
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Oh yes. I have a 23 month old mama's boy, a very active almost 5-year old, and I run a home daycare. I wantes more kids but wasnt planning on TTC til summer.
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  #3  
February 19th, 2013, 11:58 AM
Lemon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
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Yep. Splitting myself 3 ways will be tough.
My two are out of diapers but they still have big kid needs that keep me busy now!
I am glad that they will have each other since I'll be spending so much time taking care of the baby.
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  #4  
February 19th, 2013, 12:01 PM
AllieD's Avatar Allison
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 355
I was at first but then seeing my daughter (she will be 4 in March) interact with other kids - I think she really will be a "helper" to me

But I totally get where you are coming from and I'm certain you will find a balance and everything will work out!
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  #5  
February 19th, 2013, 12:02 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: San Diego, CA
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I'm very nervous. DS will be 20 months when the baby comes and I'm extremely worried about bfing and taking care of him.
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  #6  
February 19th, 2013, 12:02 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Southwest, Missouri
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From the looks of your tickers it looks like your 2 babies will be almost exactly what my first 2 were. And I can say with great confidence you will survive it is tough when they are that little, but they grow up to be so close that it's just awesome. I also worked from home part time while pregnant and then with a newborn and toddler. Just remember that even though you feel your toddler is still young we still have 8ish months before baby gets here and she will do a lot of growing before then! The transition may start off a little rough, but once you get in the swing of things it's smooooooth sailing

For us, nope, no concerns at all! We can't wait! Our girls are older now and will be 6 and 4 by the time baby is here... They can't wait to help.
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  #7  
February 19th, 2013, 12:09 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree. It's a bit tough to start. And I'm sure you'll have a moment or two when you want to crawl into a closet and hide, but it's totally doable. And wonderful too And it's that much easier when you have a partner that will help.
My one suggestion: make sure to make some toddler and mommy time that is just for your older one. (might need dad's help with that). It's really important. And will be very special. I STILL have Meg and me time, and we still really treasure it.
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  #8  
February 19th, 2013, 12:14 PM
~ ttc island baby #3 ~
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,442
Thankfully our girls will be a bit older - 10 and 7 so I'm not worried. I was actually more worried about the big age gap and once they are older, having a 20 year old, a 17 year old, and a 10 year old!`

When I had my second one, my 'baby' was 3 years old. That was almost 7 years ago and I honestly can't remember how I managed. I know it made it easier that I gave birth in July and then in September my 3 year old started school half day 5 times a week. That really gave me some quality time with the baby.

I am actually relieved that both of mine are older now. At least they can entertain themselves and can do a lot things for themselves. They are also more independent so I won't always be taking care of 3 24/7. Besides, both of them go to school all day, every day now, which helps as well.
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  #9  
February 19th, 2013, 12:16 PM
MrsHoot's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes! Sawyer is my whole world. He really is an easy and adaptive child...but a 2 year old, an exhausted mommy and a newborn does sound terrifying. Hopefully we'll have some family around to help for awhile.
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  #10  
February 19th, 2013, 12:19 PM
Thunderlily's Avatar Living my dream
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Posts: 621
One thing you could consider is wearing baby while tending to your oldest (or doing dishes, cleaning, etc). I bought a moby wrap last time and it was soooo nice! Baby just falls asleep all nestled up under your chin an it's snug, safe and comfortable!

You'll find that you'll develop a new rhythm when a new one arrives. It'll all work out, no worries
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  #11  
February 19th, 2013, 12:28 PM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Vermont
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Me too! I know everyone figures it out, but I'm sure it will be a tough transition for my daughter, who will be 3.
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  #12  
February 19th, 2013, 01:38 PM
estherm's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: BC, Canada
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I am !

I am getting more and more used to the idea.. But my "baby" is almost 4 ( March ). And babyhood all seems so foreign to me again!!!

I am sure it will all fall in to place probably why we are giving 8 months to get used to the idea.. Or 9 I guess depending on when you find out

Es
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  #13  
February 19th, 2013, 02:00 PM
MarchMom2007's Avatar Sticky baby wanted!
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Posts: 3,175
Yup, I am nervous here for sure. I have an almost 6 year old who was an extremely active, sometimes difficult baby/toddler/preschooler. He has diagnosed behavior problems and although he is getting much easier to handle now that he is in school, I worry that he will regress and have a hard time adjusting. I am hoping that he will feel more protective of this baby rather than in competition, but we shall see. He is such a loving child most of the time, but can get fiercely aggressive if he feels like someone is moving in on his turf.
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  #14  
February 19th, 2013, 02:15 PM
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You'll be surprised with how much you can handle.
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  #15  
February 19th, 2013, 02:29 PM
slmehaffey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm not worried this time, but I'm moving from 2 to 3... I wasn't worried about the transition from 1 to 2 either, but it ended up being pretty difficult on me, however by 4 months we were in a great routine.
The worst part of it was that I was dedicated to giving my son his normal bed time routine and that meant leaving my daughter in her pac'n play for about 20 min.s during a time of night that she didn't want to be put down at all...In the end we all adapted and I brought her pac'n play into his room and used something else downstairs for when I needed to set her down, put her in when I needed my hands for him and then took her out while I read his story, and put her back while I tucked him in and said good night... it was hard, but very do-able. As you go along you find great little secrets that work for your family...
AND it is amazing how helpful a toddler can be. they love helping get the diapers and wipes for baby, and throwing away the dirty ones, and even putting laundry in baskets for you...
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  #16  
February 19th, 2013, 02:46 PM
Daisee37's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Twin Cities, MN
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I think once you realize that you'll have to sometimes ignore one child for a few minutes--and that everything will be fine if you do--it gets a lot easier. DS was 3 when we had our daughter. Sometimes we had to leave the baby in her pack & play or baby swing while we helped DS with something. Sometimes we had to ignore DS when the baby needed something. As long as they're in a safe environment, it's OK if you don't always give them all your attention--you can't, and you'll go crazy if you try.

I also learned that some things can become group activities--even things I never would have expected, like breastfeeding! I remember when BF'ing the baby, my son would come up, stick his head right in there, and start poking around asking what was going on. I didn't want to make him feel ignored or alienated, so I just entertained his questions and let him watch. So I ended up with 2 heads by my boob--and it was really weird.

With that said, I'm terrified of adding another kid (or kids) now. With 2, at least the kids don't outnumber the adults. I'm scared if we have twins now, I don't know how I'm going to handle 4 kids!!!!! But I figure women have done it before, so it can't be impossible.
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  #17  
February 21st, 2013, 09:25 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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im freaking out for other reasons since this is #8, going from 1 to 2 was a breeze for me. going from 2 to 3 was where I had a hard time. When we had baby #7 we were not NEAR as busy and on the go as we are now. I am worried how we are going to do this with a new baby. There is room to slow down for us.
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  #18  
February 21st, 2013, 06:09 PM
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TOTALLY TOTALLY TERRIFIED one was enough now two makes three OMG!!!!!!
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  #19  
February 21st, 2013, 06:50 PM
Minnerva's Avatar Veteran
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Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 142
I am SO scared about this, too. :-(
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  #20  
February 22nd, 2013, 05:31 AM
sweety_pie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Canada
Posts: 10,808
I'm not feeling too bad about it, my 2 are pretty old now, and will be great helpers! It is kinda weird thinking about starting over again though!
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