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Is your DH stepping up?


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #21  
March 15th, 2013, 04:44 PM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
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Ashlee, I'm sorry you're having problems! 12 hours on your feet - I would be passing out for sure. You have very valid complaints, but I worry about making big decisions when you're in the middle of a big transition. Try and talk about it and give him some resources so he can read about the every day pregnancy stuff - what your body is doing each day. I hope he can start to understand. I started forwarding the babycenter emails to my DH so he'd be involved, and if I'm feeling moody or have a certain symptom a lot one day, I'll find an article and ask him to read it so he understands. He was upset with me at first when I wanted alone time when I was feeling hormonal, but now he knows not to take it personally.

My DH works his butt off for us and I take care of the house stuff. He will do anything I ask of him, but I don't tend to ask him to do much because he's just as tired as I am.
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  #22  
March 15th, 2013, 05:10 PM
AshleeH's Avatar Veteran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soul_donut View Post
Ashlee, I'm sorry you're having problems! 12 hours on your feet - I would be passing out for sure. You have very valid complaints, but I worry about making big decisions when you're in the middle of a big transition. Try and talk about it and give him some resources so he can read about the every day pregnancy stuff - what your body is doing each day. I hope he can start to understand. I started forwarding the babycenter emails to my DH so he'd be involved, and if I'm feeling moody or have a certain symptom a lot one day, I'll find an article and ask him to read it so he understands. He was upset with me at first when I wanted alone time when I was feeling hormonal, but now he knows not to take it personally.

My DH works his butt off for us and I take care of the house stuff. He will do anything I ask of him, but I don't tend to ask him to do much because he's just as tired as I am.


oh trust me i have done everything but turn myself inside out for him to know whats going on and shown him websites etc... i even got the what to expect book and altho i went thru it twice with my other two girls, i left it out and in the open for him to see--- but its like all interest has faded and is being selfish so altho i know im so close to finally starting to feel better--- ive seen a side of him that i never wanted to see so hard
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  #23  
March 15th, 2013, 05:14 PM
iCathy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by Anitha View Post
I will burn in hell if complain about my DH He is doing all the cooking, dish washing, taking care of DD. I go to work and come back and cuddle up in bed. That is it. BUT since he's doing so much he's mostly by himself trying to unwind and he watches Walking dead which I don't want to watch while pregnant. He is not spending time with me at all, claims he needs his personal time. Can't blame him. Uh oh..didn't I say I'll burn in hell if I complain. Oops!
This is almost us to a "T"!! We both work outside the home, but I come home and nap, almost every single day. I wake up to dinner on the table and my kids are still alive! lol He doesn't do a TON of cleaning, but the big kids help out a lot too. I'm sooo lucky!!
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  #24  
March 15th, 2013, 05:19 PM
MrsHoot's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The only time DH helps is when one of his friends comes over... he cleans up for them. Apparently I should just start inviting his friends over more often???? He will do laundry (but usually it's when he needs something) he knows how much it irritates me to put dishes in the sink especially when I've just put the clean ones away and the dishwasher is empty! But sometimes he still does it. I would love it if DH stepped up more.. but atleast he's doing the cat litter!
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  #25  
March 15th, 2013, 06:34 PM
WorkerBeeMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yup! he doesn't have a choice right now! I'm pretty much in bed when not at work. He is really good about doing stuff around the house though. We work well together in that respect. He does things I hate and vice versa (chores). Our house is kinda a disaster but there are clean clothes and the dishes are washed and he has been taking care of the kids and cooking for me.
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  #26  
March 15th, 2013, 07:41 PM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My husband cooks and cleans and does laundry. Since we moved and I went part-time we have basically reverted so I do all the house cleaning, but he still cooks more than I do, and does all the manly outside stuff. He has to be up early for work, so he normally gets our daughter up in the morning. In the evening we trade off who puts her to bed, depending on who cooked dinner. Now that I don't feel like cooking or eating anything, he is doing almost all the cooking. The one area where I do more is anything related to our daughter - her meals, her laundry, etc. I seriously can't imagine having to do all the housework and childcare myself.
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  #27  
March 15th, 2013, 09:20 PM
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My DH is amazing. He says my job now is making the baby (well, of course and my office job too!) so I only do things if I feel up to it. He's a great cook so now that I've been eating a little more he's cooking meals for the both of us. I do my own laundry and he does his, but I'm sure if I asked he'd do mine too. The house is a little messier than normal, but I don't mind, he's doing his best.
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  #28  
March 15th, 2013, 11:38 PM
peace.love.audrey's Avatar Twins? Pinch me!
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My DH does 75% of the cooking and cleaning in our house. He's a better cook than I am and he's definitely more of a neat freak. I am so thankful for him because otherwise my kids would be eating my bad cooking/fast food and our house would look like a war zone. He also does his own laundry! I swear its because he works for the Fire Dept. They cook their own meals every shift and have cleaning duties daily....it's almost military-ish but a little less strict.
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  #29  
March 16th, 2013, 11:51 AM
SierraWinter's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I normally do everything around the house and all shopping. DH works pushing 70 hours a week, 6-7 days a week this year (hoping next year he has more time). I've felt so crappy I'm in bed most of the time the last few weeks so he comes home and has to fix his own dinner, pick up groceries on the way home, fend for himself. I feel really bad but he's been great about it, he has been trying to do more things around the house and I have to ask him to stop and go do something fun. This morning i tried to join him downstairs but ran to the bathroom throwing up....so he brought be breakfast in bed to try to calm my stomach. He keeps telling me to take it easy and rest, he's a great guy. I feel blessed that i'm having a family with him.
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  #30  
March 16th, 2013, 09:21 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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DH has been stepping up in taking care of our daughter, getting up with her in the morning before work and he puts her to bed every night. But he hasn't helped with housework, and his idea of helping with cooking is ordering take out. But that is ok. I have support from my MIL (she came over and cleaned for me) and he works outside of the home and I don't. Also I have been feeling a ton better since starting on diclectin.
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  #31  
March 18th, 2013, 07:11 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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He has, and my older kids. Its tough though because of how busy everyone is.
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  #32  
March 18th, 2013, 07:25 AM
karmaissotrue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Some days yes & some days no, he also complains a lot because I've been extra tired...
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  #33  
March 18th, 2013, 08:26 AM
jamieshalon2's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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He does help with the kids a lot. He tries to cook, but honestly I don't like what he cooks, so I try to take care of that. I wouldn't let him near the grocery store, we would be living off of mountain dew and doritoes, lol. YUCK!!
We kind of tackle the cleaning together. He takes one room, and I the other until they are all picked up. I am kind of OCD about the bathroom and kitchen, so those are MY rooms. We both work 9 to 10 hour days, so it is hard for us both.
I have older kids, so it is their job to do things like mow the grass, rake leaves, etc when it is needed.
Oh I also won't let DH do the laundry. Actually he doesn't know how to use the washing machine, lol. We have a front loader and it is a little complicated if you are used to dealing with the older top loading, turn a knob machine, hahaha.
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