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Name stealing?


Forum: October 2013 Playroom

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  #1  
March 15th, 2013, 04:11 PM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,110
I took a productivity break to eat dinner and I came upon this article from one of my fav bloggers: http://www.mommyish.com/2013/03/15/s...s-on-facebook/

Obviously the people featured there are a little over the top, but it's an interesting topic to me. Has anybody had a name "stolen"? Or have you "stolen" someone else's name?

I don't consider naming your baby Sophia or Olivia stealing a name, by the way. They're popular right now. My mom couldn't steal Melissa because it was a top 20 name, you know?

I feel like we'll be "name stealers". My BFF likes the name Bennett (NN Ben) and it's been consistently a name she liked for a baby some day. She is getting married soon, but not expecting and not planning for a couple years. When my DH and I started discussing boy names, he came up with only one - Benjamin. A year + ago, without knowing this info, because he likes the NN Ben, and he likes Benjamin Franklin. We're from Philly after all - we like those founding father/presidential kind of names. Secondly, our friends that we have lost touch with but were close with enough to be in each others' weddings, they just named their boy Bentin. Mind you, they pulled some late gender and name reveal shenanigans (PM me and I'll tell you the story), and DH had already zeroed in on Ben like I said, at least a year ago. I just know if we have a boy we're going to get the comments but it is what it is. I don't have a name I like better and I think he's emotionally attached to the name he has chosen, and he's letting me pick the middle name and the girl's name. That sounds fair, no?

What do you all think? Has this come up for you?
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  #2  
March 15th, 2013, 04:28 PM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Proud Mama to 5 girls
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My names are very unique so if I say them to someone and they use it I kind of know where they got it from lol
I can't stop anyone but I choose not to say my names just so people don't use them lol
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  #3  
March 15th, 2013, 04:35 PM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iluvmybabies* View Post
My names are very unique so if I say them to someone and they use it I kind of know where they got it from lol
I can't stop anyone but I choose not to say my names just so people don't use them lol
See, that's smart, but I have a big mouth sometimes. I already told everybody our names, even before I was pregnant.
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  #4  
March 15th, 2013, 04:44 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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Our names are pretty normal sounding so I'm sure there are duplicates. lol Our chosen are geeky so very unoriginal.
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  #5  
March 15th, 2013, 05:20 PM
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I wouldnt worry about it. Bentin, Bennett, and Benjamin are all different enough IMO.
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  #6  
March 15th, 2013, 05:24 PM
Julie
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I feel that if the person is not even preggo yet that the name is up for grabs. We liked the name Mikayla for my daughter before she was born. My ex's brother and his wife liked the name too, but she wasn't even pregnant yet and I was. So they said "you can't use that name". Really???? I just think that's unfair. I guess my ex didn't wanna make waves cuz he didn't insist on naming her Mikayla.
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  #7  
March 15th, 2013, 05:33 PM
FishermansWife4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'd be kind of tiffed a bit if someone stole my son's second middle name, considering it's unique and I had it on the burner for 5 years(my first 2 children I was told were boys....I waited for my son and made them check at each u/s that he was still a boy lol) that's why I with hold it. I also realize that people are going to be going through the same situation as me and as much as I'd like to think I am, I'm not that unique. It's Mison by the way, for my son. DH didn't like it at first but I was like "OH really? I've only been waiting for 5 years and been wrong twice before. I'm kind of hooked on this middle name." And he changed his tune for me The in-laws hate that we call him that on a regular basis, but that's another story.
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  #8  
March 15th, 2013, 05:34 PM
*Lana*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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When I was pg with DD, when we told SIL that her name was going to be Jillian, the first thing she said was, "Did you know that if we have a girl we are going to name her Lillian? " Nope! I didn't know and it doesn't stop us. Two similar but different names.
For awhile I really wanted the name Grace for a girl and was even toying with the idea of Gracelyn for a bit. Then I remembered that their son is named Greyson (sp?), so I put that name aside for this one. I haven't seen her or my nephew since they moved 4 years ago and I have seen BIL once since then.
I really like the name Leah Sophia. My mom wanted to name me Leah and MIL's middle name was Lee. My daughter's BFF is named Lena Sophia. If that name is a possibility, I would discuss it with my friend first. I use middle names a lot, not just when she is in trouble, but my friend gave her a middle name as a formality.
I always think back to that Seinfeld episode where George's friends steal the name Seven from him.
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  #9  
March 15th, 2013, 06:04 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think Benjamin and Bennett are different enough. And if it's a friend you don't see all the time I think it's ok. I've never been too scared of name stealing because we have been very open from the beginning what the name of our next child will be. I don't know anyone with the name Everleigh so when we picked it out it would be obvious that people would have stolen it :-p

We've never had any problems with our other names. Although my BIL and SIL had picked out the name Alexandria for a girl and it's a little too close to Alexis IMO. I have a friend whose daughter is Luna and her sister had a baby 6 months after and they named their daughter Lana. The weird thing is that they both fit their name so well despite being so similar.
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  #10  
March 15th, 2013, 08:06 PM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
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Thanks for your input ladies! Future Benett's mama lives in NY and I live in FL - we talk all the time but get together a few times a year. I hope she embraces the Bens! My husband zeroed in on Benjamin from the get-go and if she told me it would hurt her feelings I would try harder to veto it, but she seems cool with it (besides a jokingly typed "grrr") and he just loves it. I want to name a girl after a book I liked when I was a kid, so if he's giving me leeway on that I can let him have his name, too. I wiggled my Dad's first name in there as a middle name, though.

Christine - those names are all pretty similar. Do Alexis and Alexandria both go by Alex? (FWIW I like Alexis best, then Alexandra, then -ia)

Lana - those options are all so close it's kind of funny! Esp Greyson. The NN's for Jillian and Lillian seem a lot different though so noooo worries
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  #11  
March 15th, 2013, 08:51 PM
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I've been blabbing our names everywhere - Henry and Clara. We also like Sterling for a while for a boy, but wish we hadn't shared in advance, people were really harsh and hurtful about expressing their dislike for it. Unless it's a sibling I don't mind if people steal our names.
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  #12  
March 15th, 2013, 09:50 PM
soul_donut's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Sep 2012
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I like Sterling.. it's unusual though so maybe people didn't know how to process it? That's a shame though. I wonder if that's how people will respond to my current favorite girl name, Matilda.
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  #13  
March 16th, 2013, 06:29 AM
Spero's Avatar Nice to meet you, I'm Kat
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I have this dilemma too! DH and I both LOVE the name Joshua, NN Josh if it's a boy. It's the only boy name we really like. My cousin named his son Joshua...15 years ago. I maybe see my cousin once every 5-6 years. He didn't come to our wedding and never comes to any family events. We've been debating just using it anyway since we never see him. The catch is...my aunt who sees my parents weekly would probably have a cow. Boy names are so hard!
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  #14  
March 16th, 2013, 08:20 AM
Wren's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I love Ben for a boy too, but my husband is stuck on Andrew. My husband's old roommate named his daughter Stella a couple months after our Stella was born, but I don't think he stole it from us and I don't mind at all since we live on separate coasts. I remember having a conversation with my SIL several years before either of us had kids; she reserved Nathaniel as a boy's name and I reserved Madeleine as a girl's name. Neither of us ended up using those names though
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  #15  
March 16th, 2013, 12:15 PM
anothermother's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soul_donut View Post
Christine - those names are all pretty similar. Do Alexis and Alexandria both go by Alex? (FWIW I like Alexis best, then Alexandra, then -ia)
My Alexis goes by Lexi and they would of have their daughter go by Alex. Luckily they "girl" turned out to be a boy so it wasn't an issue.... for now. I just figure there are a bagillion names to choose from why would you do something so similar for cousins, I mean literally the first 4 letters of both names are the same.

DH is throwing around the name Caspian if we have a boy. I'm letting him think it's ok now since it may not even be an issue in 6-7 weeks but if this baby comes back a boy we will definitely be going back to the drawing board for further consideration. I like it, I just don't know if I like it enough for our child.
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  #16  
March 16th, 2013, 12:41 PM
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I remember when my friend got a call from her brother saying they were having a boy going to name him Charlie. She through a fit, saying that was her name (even though she was 19 at the time). She eventually ended up dating a Charlie and could never name any future kids after an ex. So it was a moot point trying to reserve a name.

I have one name I LOVE for a girl that I won't say to anyone for fear of them stealing or criticizing it though.
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  #17  
March 16th, 2013, 12:41 PM
MrsPea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I remember when my friend got a call from her brother saying they were having a boy going to name him Charlie. She through a fit, saying that was her name (even though she was 19 at the time). She eventually ended up dating a Charlie and could never name any future kids after an ex. So it was a moot point trying to reserve a name.

I have one name I LOVE for a girl that I won't say to anyone for fear of them stealing or criticizing it though.
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  #18  
March 16th, 2013, 04:53 PM
smsturner's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We've pick old fashioned rare ones because we don't want 14 kids with the same name in the same class at school (I noticed a huge difference with Megan and Marcus - Megan is everywhere, Marcus is the only Marcus we know. We really really like that). Haven't had anyone steal any names, but we don't really know alot of pregnant people to worry about it happening. lol

If anyone here likes what i pick and wants to 'steal' it, please feel free! lol
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  #19  
March 16th, 2013, 05:40 PM
Effervescence's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This isn't a totally new argument for mothers to have. My aunt and mom STILL fight over this, because my mom named my brother the male version of my female cousin's name. My mom claims she hadn't even thought of the similarities, she just liked the name. My aunt said it was blatant stealing. Both my cousin and brother grew into well adjusted adults, despite having nearly identical names, by the way

My sister and I were both pregnant at the same time, my sister with her second, me with my first. We didn't realize we had both picked the same girl's name, Sarah. I actually like Sarai, but anyway we both kind of came to the conclusion later on that it wasn't the right name for either of these babies. Sarah Palin was coming into the spotlight then, and we were both kind of turned off by that. I don't think we ever would have fought about it though, we are sisters, and bound to like the same names! I wouldn't care if anyone I didn't interact with IRL, maybe an old high school friend or something, used one of my kids' names. And I hear a lot of "Evelyn"s shortened to Eve or Evie when we go out, it doesn't bug me and I don't feel like anyone stole my thunder. We usually just laugh about the coincidence. That girl mad about the name Annika has to wise up, I went to school with three Annika's in my class and I baby sat one when I was in college! I think it's more popular than she thinks...

We have agreed not to use the name William, which is my grandpa's name. It is also my brother's name, so while I want to honor my grandpa, I think that honor goes to my brother. I asked him if he would mind us using the name Liam, and he doesn't mind at all. I think as long as things are discussed between close family members, fights can be avoided.
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  #20  
March 18th, 2013, 07:08 AM
drewbears's Avatar Mom to 8 AWESOME kids!
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I get so annoyed by the don't you dare steal my babies name stuff.

Seriously if YOU like the name and it fits YOUR baby! Who cares.

We had really close friends back in ND who had their son 6 months before we did, they named him Andrew, and his nick name was Drew. Since I was 16 I always said I would have a son named Andrew and nick name would be Drew.

Well we had our first baby, a boy, named him Andrew, and call him Drew, but it was not an issue between us. We were not copying them, it was something we had liked for a very long time.

I had someone ask me if I minded if they named their baby Bella, since I had a Bella. I was like not at all!!!! Use the name. I don't OWN the name.
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